Next time someone says.....

[ZRX61]

"Have a nice day.."

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......use this answer:
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"I have other plans"

Did that today at the check-out in Fart & Smile. Guy behind me inline cracked up.

[tpolley]

What the hell is a fart and smile?

[ddawg16]

Originally Posted by tpolley

What the hell is a fart and smile?

Smart and Final......couple steps up from Wallymart....just don't tell the trailer trash about our secret....

[Doug B]

I usually respond with...."Don't tell me what to do"

[Bender78]

Originally Posted by ZRX61

"Have a nice day.."

.......use this answer:

"I have other plans"

Did that today at the check-out in Fart & Smile. Guy behind me inline cracked up.

I'll be using that............

[DYNA BILL]

Next time someone says..."Hey, I have a garden pond I'm not going to use. Would you like to have it? I'll just give it to you."
Tell them, "Kiss my ass! Keep it and don't EVEN think about asking my wife if she wants it!"
After getting half the hole dug this weekend, I had to dig another hole because I found my sprinkler pipe. Got the sumbitch in the ground and rocks around the edge, and found 2 small holes. Go to find something that will patch EPDM plastic and actually stick. Fill with water, put in pump that they gave me with the pond, works great for 5 minutes then the bearings shit the bed. Go to Lowes, buy bigger pump, 10 minutes later, the bearings are squealing like a pig in a barnyard orgy. Return the pump to Lowes, get another one. O.K. so far so good. Now wife wants fucking goldfish!!! Fuck Me!
Go to Wal-Mart, buy a dozen and a half of goldfish of different sizes ($30). Put them in pond. Big goldfish start eating little goldfish! Now I have 3 large goldfish and no little ones. Got up this morning and found a stray cat jumping the fence with a goldfish hanging out of its mouth!

And that was my backbreaking weekend. How was yours?
Oh, and....
Anybody want a free garden pond?

[theroyz71]

Originally Posted by DYNA BILL

Next time someone says..."Hey, I have a garden pond I'm not going to use. Would you like to have it? I'll just give it to you."
Tell them, "Kiss my ass! Keep it and don't EVEN think about asking my wife if she wants it!"
After getting half the hole dug this weekend, I had to dig another hole because I found my sprinkler pipe. Got the sumbitch in the ground and rocks around the edge, and found 2 small holes. Go to find something that will patch EPDM plastic and actually stick. Fill with water, put in pump that they gave me with the pond, works great for 5 minutes then the bearings shit the bed. Go to Lowes, buy bigger pump, 10 minutes later, the bearings are squealing like a pig in a barnyard orgy. Return the pump to Lowes, get another one. O.K. so far so good. Now wife wants fucking goldfish!!! Fuck Me!
Go to Wal-Mart, buy a dozen and a half of goldfish of different sizes ($30). Put them in pond. Big goldfish start eating little goldfish! Now I have 3 large goldfish and no little ones. Got up this morning and found a stray cat jumping the fence with a goldfish hanging out of its mouth!

And that was my backbreaking weekend. How was yours?
Oh, and....
Anybody want a free garden pond?

Kiss my ass. LOL!

[DYNA BILL]

Originally Posted by theroyz71

Kiss my ass. LOL!

You take the pond, I'll kiss it twice!

[graffix000]

Originally Posted by DYNA BILL

Next time someone says..."Hey, I have a garden pond I'm not going to use. Would you like to have it? I'll just give it to you."
Tell them, "Kiss my ass! Keep it and don't EVEN think about asking my wife if she wants it!"
After getting half the hole dug this weekend, I had to dig another hole because I found my sprinkler pipe. Got the sumbitch in the ground and rocks around the edge, and found 2 small holes. Go to find something that will patch EPDM plastic and actually stick. Fill with water, put in pump that they gave me with the pond, works great for 5 minutes then the bearings shit the bed. Go to Lowes, buy bigger pump, 10 minutes later, the bearings are squealing like a pig in a barnyard orgy. Return the pump to Lowes, get another one. O.K. so far so good. Now wife wants fucking goldfish!!! Fuck Me!
Go to Wal-Mart, buy a dozen and a half of goldfish of different sizes ($30). Put them in pond. Big goldfish start eating little goldfish! Now I have 3 large goldfish and no little ones. Got up this morning and found a stray cat jumping the fence with a goldfish hanging out of its mouth!

And that was my backbreaking weekend. How was yours?
Oh, and....
Anybody want a free garden pond?

I now agree that my weekend was better than yours.

[ZRX61]

Damn Bill, that put a smile on my face this Monday morning, LMFAO!

[JF5000]

Wow!! That sucks!

[DoyleDee]

So, Bill... how did you fix the leaks? (I was in the same boat a few years ago-mine is in the ground as of last summer and I inadvertently set something in it that broke it..) We have a liner to place in it, so I know that would do it... but that means getting everything out.
I have a wife with the same tastes.... wants it, but doesn't want to do any of it-- or maintain it..

[DYNA BILL]

Originally Posted by DoyleDee

So, Bill... how did you fix the leaks? (I was in the same boat a few years ago-mine is in the ground as of last summer and I inadvertently set something in it that broke it..) We have a liner to place in it, so I know that would do it... but that means getting everything out.
I have a wife with the same tastes.... wants it, but doesn't want to do any of it-- or maintain it..

This one was a hard shell HDPE (high density polyethylene) liner and as such, not many products will effectively patch a hole and stick.
I used a product that I had laying around called ProPoxy Putty. It is a 2 part epoxy putty that you just cut off what you need. The outer layer is black and the inner core is white. Knead it and roll it in your hands until it is a uniform gray color, then force it into the hole. Dries quick and when dry, it is even sandable or machinable. Kind of like JB Weld.
Google Propoxy20 Putty. Supposedly it can be applied under water.
Hope this helps.

[tatra]

ok bill, tell ya what, i'll take the pond and to ensure you never have to endure this kind of nonsense again, i'll take the wife too..........what are friends for?........

[DYNA BILL]

Originally Posted by tatra

ok bill, tell ya what, i'll take the pond and to ensure you never have to endure this kind of nonsense again, i'll take the wife too..........what are friends for?........

Tatra, with a friend like you, who needs an enema?

[daveroy]

Originally Posted by ZRX61

"Have a nice day.."

.
.
.
.

......use this answer:
.
.
.
.
.

"My Wife has other plans"

Did that today at the check-out in Fart & Smile. Guy behind me inline cracked up.

Fixed it for you!

[what have i done]

HEY BILL............Have a Nice day!

[DYNA BILL]

Originally Posted by what have i done

HEY BILL............Have a Nice day!

My Boss has other plans.

[Primered Thunder]

what's wrong with "Thanks, you too."

[DYNA BILL]

Originally Posted by Primered Thunder

what's wrong with "Thanks, you too."

That's just so...so.......civil!