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Old 01-19-2010, 10:01 AM   #21
sc3013
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

I had to go to work 4 hours early one day, 3 am., instead of 7 am. Was sitting in lunch room getting ready when another guy, also in early, handed me my keys and said he shut my car off and locked it.
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Old 01-19-2010, 10:04 AM   #22
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

Last week:
Made a rather futile attempt to move a 4500lb aircraft tug sideways by using my shin bone against the tow hitch....

I leaked somewhat profusely...



Yesterday:
Rigging up a tarp to keep rain out of my garage during the big storms this week. I have a row of hooks above the door that leaks to hang the tarp from. Using a new (Horrible Fright) tarp so had to add some metal rings for the correct spacing.
While fighting the damn tarp against the wind it started to slip through my hand & one of the rings wasn't beaten into place quite enough & left a VERY sharp edge..

Sliced my fingers like I'd grabbed a running bandsaw by the blade... Claret everywhere, my kid freaking out & left a trail of blood from the garage to the kitchen sink where I managed to turn the entire sink bright red.
Was out shopping a bit later, SIX bandaids on my right hand & some women asked if I'd murdered someone owing to the amount of blood on my Levis (which I hadn't noticed until she mentioned it)....

Now I'm trying to do things with my left hand that I normally do with my right... which resulted in me almost falling off the crapper this morning during the paperwork stage
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Old 01-19-2010, 11:17 AM   #23
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

Some of these stories are hilarious I can't wait for my wife to read these. Then maybe she will realize I am not alone in this world Keep bringing on the stories. These are great.
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Old 01-19-2010, 12:54 PM   #24
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

Only thing I can think of off the top of my head was one night +I was working on my old motorcycle in my garage. I had the back wheel off and the bike was supported on a Handy Industries swingarm stand. It was getting late and I wasn't finished yet and due to recent vandilisum in the neighborhood my wife wanted her car in the garage. So I figured I could slightly lift the rear of the stand and roll the bike forawrd on the stands casters into the back section of my garage. I lifted it and started pushing, the bike was almost into the back section of the garage when the casters caught the split in the floor. The bike didn't have spindles, just the pads to lift it by the swingarm, so when the stand stopped the bike slide right off and tipped over laying against the door frame. The first time my bike was ever on its side and leaving a nice mark in the fairing. So now on, even if I could fit a car in the garage now, the bike stays where it is until it's back together. lol
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Old 01-19-2010, 01:16 PM   #25
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

A few years back I was pulling down a section of fencing. The fence panels removed and just needed to take out a 4x4 post. It was about 7' tall and was fixed in concrete. I thought I could loosen the concrete's hold by 'rocking' the post back and forth. This went fine for a few minutes until BANG! the rotten base snapped and the post came straight back into my forehead. I just managed to stay upright then staggered off to sit down. Boy did my head hurt!
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Old 01-19-2010, 03:00 PM   #26
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I had my brother in laws 65 Impala in my trailer for storage. Went to get it out and it wouldn't start, so we just pushed it. I climb in the car, put my foot on the brake and put it in neutral, he gives it a shove and it rolls out the trailer. Now my chevelle will bearly make it off the ramp, this thing starts gaining speed. i hit the breaks, straight to the floor, nothing. I through it in park, just as it hits my picnic table which went through my shed. Only tweaked the trim on the back of the car though. The wife came home and were standing in front of the shed so she couldn't see it, all with stoopid grins on our faces.
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Old 01-19-2010, 04:02 PM   #27
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

The most recent.

I get a great price on some used Strong Hold cabinets. If you're not familiar with them, they're advertised as the strongest cabinets you can buy. They're made in Wisconsin out of 12 gauge steel. They're rated to carry 1900 pounds per shelf. The ones I got are equipped for both shelving and plastic bins. They'll last forever. They weigh 760 pounds each.

So I win the Ebay auction, and the cabinets are 30 miles from my house. Genius that I am, I work out that U-Haul is going to cost me over a hundred bucks, but the local Home Depot (where I also want to buy an air compressor) will rent you their truck for $19 for 75 minutes and $10 an hour thereafter. I'm smart, so I go to Home Depot, get them to take my 20% Harbor Freight coupon on the compressor, have them load it up, figure out how to get the thing down off the 40"-high bed to my driveway, and then go to pick up the big cabinets.

When you're smart, the world is your oyster -- so it's no surprise that the place I'm buying the cabinets from waives their normal forklift fee. Pretty soon, I'm off and on my way home.

Okay, now I've got to figure out how to get these things 40" down and then up my driveway and back into my garage. They're heavy, and I'm doing this solo. But you know me -- I'm smart. So with a cheap come-along and a length of rope and some steel pieces to make a ramp, I actually dance these things around and down off the truck without breaking any bones or making loud noises. The key to lifting something heavy is to never have to lift it. I use a furniture dolly to move them along the driveway. Since they're made to be moved with a forklift, I flip them on their tops and leave them standing that way. I take the truck back and no one at Home Depot is the wiser about what I used it for.



Now, I've made the point about what a smart guy I am, right? But I'm no body builder. So let me make the point about how heavy and unwieldy these things are for a 160-pound weakling like me to move around. They're really freakin' heavy, even after a smart guy like me takes out the shelves and takes off the 85-pounds-each doors.

And I've got some clever ideas about how I'm going to never actually have to lift one of these as I move it, and that all I need are levers and wheels and some rope and a way to control something falling down and I could build the pyramids if I had to.



Can you see a fender and a headlight behind that one cabinet? That's my pride and joy -- my vintage race car:



I was raised by a smart father, so I'm good about always having an out -- that if I have to suddenly let go, the thing will fall to the ground and not under any circumstances on top of me.

Off I go. The next step is to get the cabinets down on their sides so I can cut their feet off.

Did I mention how smart I am? Did I? Even though I've parked my race car right behind them in the driveway, I've got it worked where I'll be able to slowly lower the first one down and be able to react if it slides in one direction or the other and be able to control it, more or less, as it goes down to rest on its side.

And now it's lowering, and it does slide a little. My driveway's not all perfectly even, and the big cabinet moves over a few feet as it lowers down.

And it's heavy -- heavier with each inch it lowers, since it's tilting, and I see that I'm going to have to hit the eject button, probably, and let it come down onto the cushiony stuff I've thought to put underneath it.

Not my best-case scenario, but still within what I foresaw as possible.

And then I see how smart I was to have the other bench be sitting between this one and the race car. If everything goes to hell, as it seems to be doing, now, the lowering bench will hit the other bench. Maybe a 'boom,' but no harm no foul. These things don't dent.

And it does. Kind of in slow motion, and kind of under control. 'Boom.' A low, booming kind of sound.

And that's fine. The cabinet is down on the ground, now.

But the part I didn't count on was what would happen when I let first cabinet impact the other, which was still standing on its head -- still a little, uh, top heavy.



It's like I'm seeing dominoes. But with big, heavy, Strong Hold cabinets as the dominoes.

And my race car was parked right there, behind the second domino.

Genius, like I said.

There was a moment where time stretched out. I saw the big cabinet tilting, starting to go. Then tipping. It moved really slow. Then I saw the front of the Porsche, right behind it. And in my mind, the figure of 760 pounds flashed like a neon sign. And I watched as the big thing fell back, blocking my view of the race car...

...making a really loud noise as it came down on the front of my car.

Boom.

'Oh... my... god...'

I just dropped a 760-pound weight on my race car.

(Because I'm so smart.)

It's one of those moments where you don't feel so great about yourself.

As it happened, I was really, really lucky. It came down on the front fender of the car, which is raised up above the hood. It broke the headlight lens, and bent the trim ring that goes around the headlight. But the fiberglass fender flexed and returned to its original shape when I got the big cabinet off of it a few minutes later. The paint got some light scratches, but it's a track car. It's got loads of stone chips already. As it happens, I had a spare lens and trim ring in the garage. In the end, I wasn't out anything for the repair. And the very light cracks in the clear coat of the paint will function as a good reminder of what a 'really smart' guy I am for years to come.



I got the cabinets in place later that day. This photo is from before they were cleaned up and re-painted.

I promise I will never attempt to move them again. Because -- smart as I might be -- I am not smart enough for that.



I'm lucky I still have a hood, fender, windshield and bumper. Fiberglass has pretty good memory, it turns out. I'll try to remember just how stupid it is not to move the race car out of the driveway the next time I decide to show off what a genius mover I am.

Last edited by Jack Olsen; 01-19-2010 at 04:11 PM.
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Old 01-19-2010, 04:08 PM   #28
Dan in Pasadena
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

Hey, you still have all your fingers and toes....AND they're still ATTACHED!

See, you ARE a smart guy. Seriously though, the car didn't look all that bad and no one was hurt. It could have been a LOT worse. Besides, your garage looks great so it was all worth it in the end.
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Old 01-19-2010, 10:53 PM   #29
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

Brilliant move number 1: I was 16 and living at the beach, by myself, for the summer, doing roofing work and playing casanova (ha!) to the girls staying in the weekly rentals. Late one afternoon, I was driving my 30-year-old Mustang during a sudden thunderstorm and the car started to cut in and out when the rain was blowing sideways, into the grille. I get it home and decide to leave it running in the garage, while I check the distributor and spark wires... while standing in a puddle. Suffice it to say, I learned the hard way that an idling 289 + wet wires + 12 volts is enough to make the right side of your body clench up at roughly 1.5Hz.

Brilliant move number 2: I woke up late for an HPDE day and practically raced to the track. I got to the paddock shortly before the drivers' meeting and was trying to rush through swapping my street tires for a set of race rains (I was still driving the E30 to the track; this was before I'd bought a trailer). Looking to save, oh, 15 seconds per wheel, I decided that, rather than finger-starting each nut on the studs that I had just installed the weekend before, that I'd use my 18v DeWalt impact gun. I made it through three wheels without trouble, and had already secured three nuts on the last wheel and was working on the final nut when I cross-threaded the stud. I slowly backed the nut off and the stud came with it, loctite and all. Thankfully, someone else in the paddock understood the importance of spares and I was able to borrow a lug bolt, for the drive home. I didn't make it onto the track at all that day. I learned the importance of: finger-threading, a speed brace, taking my time, and buying more than 16 lug studs.
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Old 01-19-2010, 11:36 PM   #30
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

I forgot to fold down my Roll bar hoop on my Kubota BX23 and crushed my Brand new Garage door while pulling it into the garage... Luckily I was able to replace the bent up section... shit happens
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:33 AM   #31
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

A few years back, my parents car was running rough when it was wet. Suspecting the spark plug wires and/or distributor cap, I pulled the car into the dark garage, popped the hood, and confirmed the diagnosis. I could see pretty blue sparks up and down the spark plug wires.

Then for some reason that I can't remember, I decided I needed to look at one of the wires more closely and grabbed the wire. That's not something I'll ever do again.
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:41 AM   #32
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

Had a 1 Ton Dodge and a 40' Gooseneck. Backed it into some mud to offload Railroad ties and realized I was stuck with the Trailer. Dropped the Trailer to pull out with the Truck and pulled the wiring harness out of the trailer neck.

OH WAIT... THAT WAS MY FRIEND BORROWING MY TRUCK!!!!

Had a 1 Ton Dodge and a broken down 40' Trailer (see above listed damage) so had some employees load RR ties that I had sold in the Truck Bed with an extend-a-boom forklift. Bed wouldn't close (why that was necessary I'll never know) so the well intending employees tried to shove the RR ties in with the Forklift and BINGO... pushed the front of the bed into the cab and past the rear window and into the rear seat...

OH WAIT... THAT WAS MY FRIEND BORROWING MY TRUCK!!!!

Rewired the 40' Gooseneck wrong and burned up an $800 brake acuator...

OH WAIT... THAT WAS MY FRIEND BORROWING MY TRUCK!!!!

Drove said truck and trailer through a ditch snapping a bolt in the front 4x4 suspension...

OH WAIT... THAT WAS MY FRIEND BORROWING MY TRUCK!!!!

My Really Stupid Move: LETTING MY FRIEND BORROW MY TRUCK~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:42 AM   #33
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

Thanks, Guys. All of a sudden the big rusty nail i pulled out of my finger on Sunday doesn't seem so bad ( nor does the day I set my frayed jeans on fire while welding ).
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:56 AM   #34
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Then for some reason that I can't remember, I decided I needed to look at one of the wires more closely and grabbed the wire. That's not something I'll ever do again.
Teaches ya to really appreciate those moments of clarity doesn't it?
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Old 01-20-2010, 10:00 AM   #35
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Teaches ya to really appreciate those moments of clarity doesn't it?
My memory of moments like that are generally not clear. Usually kinda blurry and seen through a jiggering haze of painful recollection.
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Old 01-20-2010, 12:34 PM   #36
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My brother has a high-school shop class made 10 X 5 trialer. Heavy duty, 4 foot walls. We take it up to his in-laws farm to bring back firewood. When we got there we un-hitched but for some reason (beer) forgot to move the car. Couple hours later we are going to town (more beer) and he hits reverse. Bang! We hit the trailer right in the toung and we turn around to see what the noise was. We sat there helpless as the trailer starts down the driveway headed for a lake about 150 yards down the hill. But first there is a fence in the way, with a gate. Miraculously it hit the gate dead center, flung it open and the trailer whipped into a left turn and stopped on its own. We still laugh about it.
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Old 01-20-2010, 02:21 PM   #37
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I have more than one Duhhh moment and am kind of embaressed to admit to this one. A number of years ago I had a delivery business for Sears. I get a delivery one day for a lawn tractor. Not a big one maybe 10 hp or so. Any way I back my truck up to the loading dock and get out the ramps and drive the tractor up into the bed. Well I got to the delivery site and got the ramps out and sat them up onto the tailgate from the ground. I got up onto the tractor and started it and started to back down the ramps. Weeeeeellllllllllll the deck hooked the front of the ramp and stopped the tractor right there. I should have had the idea right there to stop but nnnnnnoooooooooo. Genious here decides to rock the tractor side to sid to get it to unhook. It did but not where I expected. I yanked the fricking ramp right off the tailgate. All I remember is wondering why the hell am I looking at the sky. Following that was damn my back then damn this tractor is heavy and why am I between it and the EARTH. When I hooked the ramp I drug it back right off the truck. My left ramp was still on the tailgate and made that tractor roll right over upside down with me under it. Maybe took a half second to happen but took me ten minutes standind next to it looking around wondering who saw it. Then I had to leave a detailed note to the owners on what happened. Talking about having to own up to something. Ended up geing some real nice folks and I rebuilt the tractor for them. Dont think any of us will ever forget that one.
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Old 01-20-2010, 05:07 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by cdods View Post
A few years back, my parents car was running rough when it was wet. Suspecting the spark plug wires and/or distributor cap, I pulled the car into the dark garage, popped the hood, and confirmed the diagnosis. I could see pretty blue sparks up and down the spark plug wires.

Then for some reason that I can't remember, I decided I needed to look at one of the wires more closely and grabbed the wire. That's not something I'll ever do again.
It's even more fun when your jean shorts are kinda damp from checking this out right after the rain stops and you are leaning on the fender with mini me pressed up against it. Trust me, completing a circuit with your groin makes everyone laugh but you!
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Old 01-20-2010, 05:33 PM   #39
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About 20 years ago I was loading a 642 Bobcat onto a Ford Roll-off at work.I always winched the Bobcats up but my boss was there saying just drive it up then put the back chain on it etc..... So I start driving it up went to far and the bed came slamming down I got spooked pushed the handles forward and proceeded to do a wheelie off the back of the truck( the bed was comming back down but was like 2-3 feet off the ground. Now anyone who has driven a Bobcat knows they have no suspension so my head bounced off of every part of the cage.... I was totally dazed and continued driving into the dumpster pushed the dumpster into the building and was sitting there maybe out cold don't remember wheels spinning up against the dumpster,My boss came running over to see if I was ok and he got his feet tangled up in an extension cord and went on his face.All the while my Dad is standing there just shaking his head. I wont go into the rock fight I got into at the same rental store or the time I spilled 52 gallons of gas out of an air compressor,was a fun job back then...


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Old 01-20-2010, 06:29 PM   #40
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Default Re: Really stupid moves

I was assembling a play set for the kids by myself. I had the tower built and had the swing arm built. Basically a 4 by with an A frame at the end. Needed to attach the swing arm to the tower and it was a little unwieldy so I needed something to support it while I bolted it up. Looking at the height I decided that my 8' ladder would be good for the purpose. Set it up at the tower and set the end of the swing arm on top. I misjudged - the ladder was too tall. But hey - the next step down from the top is just about right. So I put the swing arm on that step and climbed up and bolted it together. I was quite proud of myself for managing to mount it by myself. It was also at that point that I realized that the ladder had just become a permanent part of the swing set. Time for plan B.
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