OK, I’m writing this to contribute, not to knock down, alright? I’m writing this for Bill as well as any new readers and even some of the old ones. Maybe we can all understand this better…
I’ve watched this situation from the very beginning of the first thread. I’ve even posted and contributed ideas and support. Not too long ago, I read the entire second thread. I’ve thought long and hard about even answering the thread, wondering what I could contribute or even if I would want to contribute. Kevin54 is a good friend of mine and has also been a part of Bill’s saga. Kevin and I talked about it a few times and he suggested I write something.
In my work, I process information and then repackage it, usually in a way that’s more easily digested. Part of that work is noting trends, patterns and how the flow of information proceeds. So, when I saw the second thread, I couldn’t help but notice the consistencies and inconsistencies. I also noted what was not posted. And by that, I mean the many readers that logged on, read the posts and contributed. They really wanted to help Bill. But they left, either no longer reading the thread or just not posting. It made me wonder if they didn’t like Bill’s methods and results. They likely hoped he could do better. To say they were frustrated would be an understatement. I know I was, too. Nonetheless, the pattern emerged where folks would contribute, then leave the thread. Along came new readers with new support and best wishes for Bill’s success. But all they saw were the same old results. Then, those new readers dropped off, too. As to any of those new readers, my thoughts are with you and your frustration with Bill.
So my analytical mind starts looking for reasons folks would drop out. Sorry Bill, it comes back to you. Remember, I am writing this to help – not only Bill, but others like him that read in silence, hoping for that piece that will unlock their own personal puzzle. I am also writing to the many readers that are sorry for Bill and his results and no longer post.
There are two big things going on here. One is the disconnect in Bill that keeps him from prioritizing the basic needs of himself and his family. The patterns I see are not taking care of basic needs such as one’s health, providing a safe place to live with the basic necessities of life and to prioritize every day and extracurricular tasks. Now, I believe we all have this to one extent or another, but Bill’s case is the obvious extreme.
I’m no doctor, but the information Bill has provided in his posts leads to the above assessment. I’m not going to break it down, point by point, the info is already there. Nor will I try to pinpoint any causes for this disconnect. It is obviously there and I am trying to cut to the chase. Bill says he knows what to do, but going on how many years now, he has not corrected the problems. That is a perfect example of a disconnect. It’s not about how or why, it’s just there. Reasons and excuses don’t count. Results do.
The other big thing is Bill’s need to buy and hoard. It’s a complete other disconnect and very separate from the first one. Look at it this way; if he had only one of the two disconnects, his life wouldn’t be anywhere near as bad. But the two disconnects totally compound each other.
A good example is the dumpster. Generous GJ folks helped him by paying for it. Bill finally used the dumpster, but really only under threat of large fines from the city. Once the city got off of his back, Bill was back to buying and hoarding. And Bill keeps creating reasons to buy more stuff, often duplicates of what he already has; negating the effects of the gifted dumpster. I’m trying to avoid going into Bill’s head in search of the how and why. Nobody on here can do that. Maybe not even Bill. Instead, I feel as I’ve posted just the facts I’ve observed from the thread.
There’s one more thing that is part of these disconnects. And that is Bill being accountable to himself and his family. And, as we’ve seen, that is not happening. Bill talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk.
Now, I learned a long time ago to not ***** without offering some solutions. To all the folks both new and old that have either read or posted here, understand that Bill cannot help himself in these disconnects. Yes, he can help himself in getting help. He just chooses not to do this for reasons unknown to us and maybe even to himself. So don’t be frustrated with Bill. He is locked into this until he actually does something real about it. And time will tell when and if he will. I’ll address this next part directly to Bill.
Bill,
You do need help. Professional help. Don’t say you know that. Don’t say you’re in a group that is helping. Look at the bottom line. How many years have you put off serious repairs to your house and how you are living? How many years go by before you do something health-wise? How many years have you had the hoarder mentality and all the things to prove it? And how many years have you had with no results of getting rid of those mentalities? Bottom line, you know what is wrong but cannot correct it.
If you can’t lift something out of your truck by yourself, you get help, right? You get someone to help or you use a tool. Get professional help, Bill. Use the engineering and logic part of your brain. If you had a broken arm, one would think you’d see a doctor right away. This is the same. Get professional help. The shame you think you’ll feel if you do get help is small in comparison to the shame you must now feel when you look at your results. And if you are not feeling that shame about these disconnects, it means you really do need serious help.
jc
I truly wish Bill the best. What I’ve said here is the culmination of what he and others have already said. Much like priorities, I just listed them. Hopefully, in a way that can benefit someone.