Well now, I'm interested in how small a car you fit the cabinet into. Seem to recall someone on the Mister Moose thread mentioning he'd fit it in a Subaru Forester, which I wouldn't have thought possible. What'd you use?
Equipto. I had the good fortune of finding one on CL for fifty bucks. Needed some TLC, but damn if it isn't the best fifty I've ever spent. Meets all your requirements save the eight-foot length.