work in garage vs wife
- Thread starter Jude20VT
- Start date
Keep in mind, that you don't entertain her....she might find someone else who will
I spend the necessary time in my shop to get some work done in the evenings and then go later that night to give her what she needs...and wants...
sasquach
Well-known member
I have never had that problem . Sometimes the kids will hang out with me and give her alone time and sometimes they don't . Hell she has even come down and sat down and had a few beers with me. She is always busy with her stuff and i am with mine .Seams to work out pretty well.
Gath3r
Active member
Entertain her... I know exactly how you feel. If she hits the road because your in the garage, so be it. You only live once, dont spend it in hell. Go find a women that wants to be with you in the garage from time to time. Naked... with big mellons... Live in heaven.
Just a thought..
Just a thought..
Nugent1021
Well-known member
holy ****, I get the same thing. I thought I was the only one. Seems she wants us to stare at each other all weekend while my list of stuff to do keeps piling up - brakes, oil pan, control arms, motor mounts, etc.
Polyamorics don't have this problem. Or those who choose spouses with hobbies of their own.Keep in mind, that you don't entertain her....she might find someone else who will
BlackLead
Well-known member
"Entertain" her? What are you, her personal PSP? If she's bored, tell her to get her @$$ in the kitchen and make you some biscuits. And not those damned whoppin' biscuits, either; make 'em from scratch like the good Lord intended. And if she doesn't know how, then she can sign up for some cooking classes at the community college, and challenge herself to something more than polishing her nails and eating bon-bons while she watches daytime soaps. And while she's at it, look into some classes on how a damned vacuum cleaner is used. And how to wash a freakin' plate.
Oh, wait. Maybe I'm projecting.
Oh, wait. Maybe I'm projecting.
Gabriel J
Well-known member
"Entertain" her? What are you, her personal PSP? If she's bored, tell her to get her @$$ in the kitchen and make you some biscuits. And not those damned whoppin' biscuits, either; make 'em from scratch like the good Lord intended. And if she doesn't know how, then she can sign up for some cooking classes at the community college, and challenge herself to something more than polishing her nails and eating bon-bons while she watches daytime soaps. And while she's at it, look into some classes on how a damned vacuum cleaner is used. And how to wash a freakin' plate.
Oh, wait. Maybe I'm projecting.
, only a divorced guy would spout that stuff....and get away with it...ScaldedDog
Well-known member
Must... stop... laughing...
I've been goofing around on the internet for ten years, and this might be the best post, ever.
autoist
MEMBER EMERITUS
I'm going on 40 years of marriage & my prime directive has always been, "She can never say 'no' to me if I never say 'no' to her." It has worked so far!
Dragster Racer
Well-known member
If she is that high of maintenance, you are in troublesad:
If you had kids, and she wants some time to do her stuff, I would understand. Tell her she can come out and visit with you in the garage. Mine used to help me rebuild the race engines and was very helpful with race car work. Then we had a kid, and she is a little more protective of her time. Fair enough.
If you had kids, and she wants some time to do her stuff, I would understand. Tell her she can come out and visit with you in the garage. Mine used to help me rebuild the race engines and was very helpful with race car work. Then we had a kid, and she is a little more protective of her time. Fair enough.
We(wife and I) struggle with this also.
My Mom always said about my dad "At least he's not at the bar" when he was in the garage. My wife's response to that about me is "He's still not with me bar or garage"
Anyway I am finaly figuring it out after 6 years.
I tell her "Honey I need to do the yard work or the house will look like $hit"
Honey I am going to spend a couple hours puttering around in the garage/working on tractors/cars/splitting wood"
I also put down on the calender when i need time on the weekends. I have found that if I don't put time down for myself on the weekends my wife finds lots of family/her time that needs to happen. We also have 2 kids (17month and 28month) so someone has to be responsible for them and during the week we both work full time jobs so the personal time has to be split up somtimes.
Man do I dream about the days right after college wihen I worked all day and stayed up half the night wrenching on trucks got a few hours sleep and did it all over again.
Tell her you need time in the garage and to do yardwork and that it's Important to you
My Mom always said about my dad "At least he's not at the bar" when he was in the garage. My wife's response to that about me is "He's still not with me bar or garage"
Anyway I am finaly figuring it out after 6 years.
I tell her "Honey I need to do the yard work or the house will look like $hit"
Honey I am going to spend a couple hours puttering around in the garage/working on tractors/cars/splitting wood"
I also put down on the calender when i need time on the weekends. I have found that if I don't put time down for myself on the weekends my wife finds lots of family/her time that needs to happen. We also have 2 kids (17month and 28month) so someone has to be responsible for them and during the week we both work full time jobs so the personal time has to be split up somtimes.
Man do I dream about the days right after college wihen I worked all day and stayed up half the night wrenching on trucks got a few hours sleep and did it all over again.
Tell her you need time in the garage and to do yardwork and that it's Important to you
sam 8
Well-known member
Wow.
I have been married for almost 30 years, to the same woman.
I understand where the "entertainment" needs are, and deal with them, because they are not just HER needs.
LOL
I spend all the time in my shop that I want to. She spends all the time she wants to at her sewing machine, or in her garden, or whatever. Quality time together is just that. We spend time together doing things we love to do together, and spend time apart doing other things, this has been very healthy for our relaionship. She is welcome in the shop anytime, and sometimes she does come out and hang out with me. It is not required, or expected tho.
If your wife actually expects you to "entertain" her, all the time, as in provide her with amusement, etc, then I am worried for you, and her.
With all the best intentions and no desire to upset you, I suggest that you two sit down and have some serious discussions about what you expect from each other..now, and in the future.
I have been married for almost 30 years, to the same woman.
I understand where the "entertainment" needs are, and deal with them, because they are not just HER needs.
LOL
I spend all the time in my shop that I want to. She spends all the time she wants to at her sewing machine, or in her garden, or whatever. Quality time together is just that. We spend time together doing things we love to do together, and spend time apart doing other things, this has been very healthy for our relaionship. She is welcome in the shop anytime, and sometimes she does come out and hang out with me. It is not required, or expected tho.
If your wife actually expects you to "entertain" her, all the time, as in provide her with amusement, etc, then I am worried for you, and her.
With all the best intentions and no desire to upset you, I suggest that you two sit down and have some serious discussions about what you expect from each other..now, and in the future.
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FunfDreisig
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2008
- Messages
- 413
I've only been married for 39 years, so still I consider myself a novice 
BUT..
My wife has spent the better part of the last couple of weeks staining and applying spar urethane to the exposed rafters for the 3 bay garage WE are building. Several times a week she runs to a hardware store to get critical items to keep the project moving. Every evening she runs the magnet for dropped nails, blows the saw dust off the slab and generally helps prepare the work site for the next work day.
This isn't a one way street. When she has a major project, I help her in the same way. In between major projects, we work together or allow each other some space and work on our own stuff. Almost every evening we discuss and agree on what we are going to do in the next few days. Luckily we have common interests / goals; so we are mostly working together
Funf Dreisig
BUT..My wife has spent the better part of the last couple of weeks staining and applying spar urethane to the exposed rafters for the 3 bay garage WE are building. Several times a week she runs to a hardware store to get critical items to keep the project moving. Every evening she runs the magnet for dropped nails, blows the saw dust off the slab and generally helps prepare the work site for the next work day.
This isn't a one way street. When she has a major project, I help her in the same way. In between major projects, we work together or allow each other some space and work on our own stuff. Almost every evening we discuss and agree on what we are going to do in the next few days. Luckily we have common interests / goals; so we are mostly working together
Funf Dreisig
Stargeezer
Well-known member
hell my wife told me about this forum!... And here is what I did after getting the steel building shell in place: I built her a 10x12 garden shed for HER shop first! It is a beauty too and it has full electrical, lighting, baseboard heat, insulation, paneled, garden tool storage. pegboard, window with blinds and shelves with storage tubs and work benches. She has this as her space to hang and do her thing; since she loves being outside and gardening.
Now that she is all set up, we are proceeding to finish the inside of the garage/shop and she helps me quite a bit.
Also-when she is in the house or gardening, we keep FSR radios going so that we are still in touch. Seems to work out. I try to use the shop as a base for BBQ activities and try to cook BBQ a lot too..
Now that she is all set up, we are proceeding to finish the inside of the garage/shop and she helps me quite a bit.
Also-when she is in the house or gardening, we keep FSR radios going so that we are still in touch. Seems to work out. I try to use the shop as a base for BBQ activities and try to cook BBQ a lot too..
oldgoat
Well-known member
I can see sometimes the wife saying that she needs some entertaining if she has been ignored for the garage or something else. After all you married her and not the shop. Now before somebody gets their dander up it doesn't mean that you need to drop everything at anytime either. I've told my wife of almost 35 years that I'm not here to be her entertainment. She has to make herself happy doing the things she likes to do. She has her crafts that she does and I help her with them. I will do things in the garage with the cars or woodworking and she will come out sometimes and help me also. Some things we do together and other things we do separate because they make us happy. I think that basically what I am trying to say is that sometimes if a woman is saying she wants you to be around you might want to take stock and see if you have been ignoring her. In some cases it requires sitting down and having a talk about how much is too much.
Dude, if you have a wife who expects you to entertain her all the time, trade her in on a new one. My first wife was like that, wanting me to do nothing but be with her even if it meant just sitting there doing nothing, and if I wasn't there with her she was positive I was cheating on her, even if I was out in the garage by myself. Made life hell for too long so I got divorced and met the woman of my dreams, one who has her own life besides just being my wife. When you have to babysit a spouse it's time to run the other direction.
Kevin54
MEMBER EMERITUS
I'm basically the same way. I have "my" garage and the wife has her 20'x20' greenhouse / potting shed. She can spend all day out there and it doesn't bother me. I can spend way too many evenings in the garage, but she understands that I am only a few feet from the house and if she needs me she calls down to the garage or comes down. Many times she brings her car down so we can spend the day cleaning on it
But I think one difference may be too, between our relationship and others that get smothered by their spouses is that we have both been previously married and know what each other wants, and respects that. And we also know that too much time together can make for bad times. But we never fail to sleep with one another each night. Have never went to bed mad, and we don't argue.Come to think of it, at any time of our time together, (except for a handful of times) we have never really been more than a 1/2 hour away from each other. If one has to do some long distance travelling, the other is usually along. Don't get me wrong...I have been out of state a few times with buddies and such or to car shows that are over an hour away, but most of the time for the car shows, she is with me. And in an emergency I can usually make it back home in the 1/2 hour time frame. I'm just pretty damn lucky to have her.
nissan_crawler
Well-known member
What wife
Damn looks as if i'm one of the lucky ones. Been married 30yrs. now and have always been able to do what I want and usually when I want. It has always been a two way street though. Luckily my wife is a home body and enjoys all the things involved there. We now have our first grand child, so a complete new chapter is being written in our book of life. And it is probably one of the best so far. Now my son i'm afraid did'nt pay much attention when he ws growing up as his wife is going to be a little............ no alot different i'm afraid
. Oh well as the old saying goes you made your bed, now you have to sleep in it. Just glad I found a really comfy one to sleep in. 
. Now my son i'm afraid did'nt pay much attention when he ws growing up as his wife is going to be a little............ no alot different i'm afraid. Oh well as the old saying goes you made your bed, now you have to sleep in it. Just glad I found a really comfy one to sleep in. Cutch
Well-known member
My wife built the garage...seriously she did..I helped her but it was her project. I can't complain too much then I guess..at times she doesn't hear me when I tell I need to do this or that but for the most part it works out well...the 3 young kids keep us busy together.
A few years ago she comes home from work (one of us has to work and I prefer it to be her) and I was out in the garage having a beer...she says to me "are you drinking in the gargage by yourself"...and I say " no I had the Goldens with me"...she says "they don't count"...fast forward a couple of years and she comes home from work...same thing "you drinking in the garage by yourself" and I say "no, I had the baby with me"....she was just as mad...no pleasing her I guess...
She likes to garden...I don't...I will do all the heavy work for her gardens but refuse to weed them...she likes company while gardening...so sometimes when she is weeding I pull up a lawn chair and have a beer....I think the neighbours think I'm a lazy sob...but it's funny
A few years ago she comes home from work (one of us has to work and I prefer it to be her) and I was out in the garage having a beer...she says to me "are you drinking in the gargage by yourself"...and I say " no I had the Goldens with me"...she says "they don't count"...fast forward a couple of years and she comes home from work...same thing "you drinking in the garage by yourself" and I say "no, I had the baby with me"....she was just as mad...no pleasing her I guess...
She likes to garden...I don't...I will do all the heavy work for her gardens but refuse to weed them...she likes company while gardening...so sometimes when she is weeding I pull up a lawn chair and have a beer....I think the neighbours think I'm a lazy sob...but it's funny
79schaefer
Well-known member
GGGGGGRRRRRRRRR. Big grumble right now. She knew about my motorsports addiction long before we were married. She spent many nights at the races, in the garage, at the car shows ect. with me. I did things with her all the time also, she liked camping, and outdoor activites. Now her idea of a good time is laying on her ***, watching TV. I can't do that. I try, but as soon as I say something, I am interupting her show.
My son spends all of his time out with me (just turned 4) and he is now my side kick at the races, and such.
I do try to spend time with the wife, but now when I do spend time with her, she says I am only doing it becuase I want something. GGGGRRRRRR.
Done with my rant.
Steve S.
To many to list.
My son spends all of his time out with me (just turned 4) and he is now my side kick at the races, and such.
I do try to spend time with the wife, but now when I do spend time with her, she says I am only doing it becuase I want something. GGGGRRRRRR.
Done with my rant.
Steve S.
To many to list.
Uncle Buck
Banned
Very depressing thread. With a wife and 4 kids I struggle to get to my Skunk Works once a week anymore.
Your not kidding and I only have 2 kids.
bushhawg73
Well-known member
I guess that I am one of the lucky ones. My wife is very cool with me spending time in the shop. We have three boys and they love to work outside with dad. My wife will even come out and pull on a wrench or two. Her understanding makes my life easy. It sound like the wife in the first post needs a hobby or a greasy wrench in her hands. Tools and cars are cool and my wife understands this. Nuff said, IMHO of coarse.
Tman
Well-known member
The kid plays in the shop while I work and Carla gets to read or do whatever she needs to away from a 2yr old. She has her space in the shop and sometimes comes down and work on projects as well. Doesnt hurt that the house IS the shop.
r6_cannibal
Well-known member
"Entertain" her? What are you, her personal PSP? If she's bored, tell her to get her @$$ in the kitchen and make you some biscuits. And not those damned whoppin' biscuits, either; make 'em from scratch like the good Lord intended. And if she doesn't know how, then she can sign up for some cooking classes at the community college, and challenge herself to something more than polishing her nails and eating bon-bons while she watches daytime soaps. And while she's at it, look into some classes on how a damned vacuum cleaner is used. And how to wash a freakin' plate.
Oh, wait. Maybe I'm projecting.
mmmmm biscuits
I'm getting married in under 3 weeks. Hopefully it turns out like some of the better posts here
She's very understanding though and I think that'll help with wanting my own time in the garage. I'm sure she'll visit from time to time as she can turn a wrench and to be honest I think that's pretty hot
I tend to keep quiet when time is short and side with whatever she needs done but it looks like that can bite me in the future. I need to remember to make clear my needs(wants) when it comes to time and we should be ok.
I don't know, this whole marriage thing is kinda crazy. Should be interesting.
dawg
Well-known member
I dont have that problem.
I dont care what she wants or thinks ( been married for a long time).
At least im not in the bars
I dont care what she wants or thinks ( been married for a long time).
At least im not in the bars
I don't watch much TV or sports, so if we are not doing anything I head outside. The door is always opening with "what are you doing?", " why are you doing that?". I have explained to her many times that I get bored if I'm not doing something, weather with her or working on a project. She gets excited when projects are for her, so I attempt to balance them. It's tough, "wrench on the car" or "hang curtains". Hell, I even throw a few Lifetime movies in without complaining (that's commitment).
She will occasionally scrap book for hours, but her main hobby is shopping. If I spend on the car or garage, it seems that she must offset the same expense at the store. Thanks to this forum, I picked up 2 more Gladiator cabinets at Lowes for only $29.50ea (that means it will cost me $120 after she makes the standard offset).
Don't get me wrong, she's still a cool gal after 10yrs (the big ***** help, but biscuits might help more!)... just venting
She will occasionally scrap book for hours, but her main hobby is shopping. If I spend on the car or garage, it seems that she must offset the same expense at the store. Thanks to this forum, I picked up 2 more Gladiator cabinets at Lowes for only $29.50ea (that means it will cost me $120 after she makes the standard offset).
Don't get me wrong, she's still a cool gal after 10yrs (the big ***** help, but biscuits might help more!)... just venting
r6_cannibal
Well-known member
Run for the hills... you still have time!
Her family keeps telling me that! I hope they're just goofing around
sammerdog
Banned
Congratulations! Yeah, marriage can be crazy, but doesn't have to be. You'll get out of it what you put into it. Invest some time, smiles, and hugs and it will come back to you in spades over time.
Here's to a happy union of two young kids!
r6_cannibal
Well-known member
Woo! thanks!
I'm 27, so I'm old enough to know I don't know everything but young enough to still want to try it
I'm getting married this summer. Already bought a house together, so there won't be any real surprises. She doesn't give me too much grief about working in the shop or garage. I put in my obligatory "honey-do" tasks - hang blinds, pictures, remodel the bathroom, and we make time on the weekend for a dinner out or watch a movie. We have dinner at the table every night she is home (she goes to Law School full time and works 20 hours/wk). She is studying a lot so that gives me time to putz in the garage/basement.
Its all about balance in my mind. If you spend quality time with her on a regular basis, she should respect your desire to work on your projects alone, too.
Oh, and if she says she's bored, I give her my list of things to do
Its all about balance in my mind. If you spend quality time with her on a regular basis, she should respect your desire to work on your projects alone, too.
Oh, and if she says she's bored, I give her my list of things to do