Inherited Old Tools

I lost my father in law a couple of months ago. We were good friends, something that I found very cool! He was a "shop guy"very much like me,(or visa versa) & we use to enjoy hunting together. Last week I had the daunting task of going threw his work shop & sorting it all out(So far I have spent 46 hours working threw all of it, cleaning & organizing) so his Daughters, their spouses & his grandchildren could go threw it & pick out what they wanted before the rest was sold off. Keith (my father in law) owned an old time hardware store in tobacco farm country! He was the go to guy for most all of the area farmers for their pluming, electrical, heating needs & just about anything other than basic repairs. When he retired some 20 years ago he basically moved his hard ware store into his shop in a house he built to retire into. So you can imagine his shop!

There are things in there that I have no idea what they're for, & others that I have a good idea what they are but have know idea what they're worth, like a 48" tall pipe wrench! That's where you guys come in I will post some pics after I go back there next weekend in hopes of finding out what some of these things are or are worth. (so stay tuned)(he even has an old hand cranked drill press!)

It was a hard time, not the work, I enjoyed that part but going threw all the stuff he had in there was emotionally dragging. He had a floor mat just outside the entrance to his shop that said "It's my shop so leave my mess alone".
I found things that he had saved because he "might need it someday" you all know that stuff! I know enough to be able to tell what is good & what is of no use to anyone today. In many cases I could see what it was & why he had saved it but knew it needed to go in the "toss" pile.
Every time I threw something like that away I found myself apologizing! One of the things Keith had said was that whatever was in the shop that could be used or was wanted by family was to go there first. Hence the need for me to sort everything out. His 2 daughters have a great relationship so there is & will never be any squabbling about stuff like that! (I have heard of disasters in similar situations).

The thing is I am the only one who is "garage/shop inclined".I let everyone else go threw everything & get what they thought they might like first. I helped out with their choices, pointing out everything, how they might use it & suggesting things they missed but I thought they might have a future use for. After all was done I let the girls (my wife & sister in law) know what I was interested in & why. Needless to say my pile was by far bigger than all the others put together.
There was not a problem with this by anyone. I even re assured my sister in law that when her kids get older & have a shop of there own, anything that came from there Grandpas shop that they wanted would be available to them no questions asked. Family is hugely important to me & I don't want anything to compromise that. Everyone is happy with the situation as it stands, so there is no problem there & I know Keith would have wanted his stuff to be used by his family, as he had said so many times.

Why then do I feel guilty almost greedy?
I am looking forward to using the tools & other things from his shop. I have plans that I am really looking forward to, to refurbish some of the old things (like that drill press) just for shop decorations. I know Keith would find that cool & Mom is financially OK so the cash lost from the sale of these things is not an issue, so why then the guilt? I cant believe how tough this is, I have talked with my wife & she has assured me everything is cool but...
Man this **** is tough!

Anyway thanks for listening to my ramblings & keep looking in for some real cool old tool pics!

Steve

When my Grandfather died my Grandmother told me to take anything I wanted from his garage and she would throw away the rest. I ended up filling my car with old tools, WW2 ammo boxes full of rusty screws and nails and various other things. All will eventually find a home in my garage when it gets built.

It felt strange going through his stuff, but no guilt was felt. A tinge of sadness maybe. You have nothing to feel guilty about, you're keeping it in the family.

R6, I know some of what your talking about....we lost our Dad a couple years ago. Mom still lives there and my brother took over the house. We've slowly been working in and going through the 40 by 64 pole-barn shop that we built with Dad years ago. Dad was the sort to do what he needed to, but not realy a gear-head. More of an old time farmer, allthough he left farming in the 70's for the suburban life / job. He spent all of his free time out there messing with his honbby - old tractors - or taking care of his vehicles. I didn't even realize how much he appreciated my wrenching abilities and the fact that I made a career out if it 'till all of his work friends told me so at the funeral. I realized it then....he loved it everytime I got a project and took it over there to work on. He'd spend hours just idling around the shop handing me tools, running to get us coffee while I put an engine in his Jeep, or one in my wifes car...I can remember always seeing his feet standing nearby, while I was underneath - always ready to hand me a drop light or whatever may be needed next......I was so damn 'busy" I didn't get it...... those where the best moments we shared.......My brother is not nearly as much of a shop guy as I am, so he doesn't really "get it". I keep finding stuff - the tools I gave Dad for Christmas, the stuff he saved that noone else would understand / appreciate which "should" go in the scrap, but I can't get rid of it.....it just sits there for now. I've done some more big projects in that shop since then, but it does feel strange sometimes...a lot of the stuff is just as he left it last time he worked out there......sorry if I'm post-jacking or rambling on.......

Steve,
I feel for your loss. You'll use your good judgment and your thoughts of Keith to help you through this sorting and distributing phase. It's part of the grieving process. There's no need to feel "guilty" that your pile is bigger than the others. You and Keith shared a special bond. It's very special that you can do this for him.

You're fortunate to have an family that doesn't have disagreements about this. Keith would be proud. Everyone is taking things that will remind them of Keith, whether it be through using some of his stuff or putting it on a shelf as a remembrance. Either way is okay, not devaluing Keith's work or what he left behind in any way. Don't feel guilty about discarding something after you've gone through the process of offering it up and no family members wanting it. You've done everything you could to pass on the family heritage and that's all you can do. I'm sure Keith would say to do what you need to do and move on. You'll think of him when you're using his tools and you'll pass on the knowledge that you and Keith shared to your kids and his other grand kids. That is the special part of all of this. (That doesn't mean that someone won't come to you in a few years and ask you where something went to because they have a job it would be just "perfect" for. This has happened to us countless times!)

My husband (with some help from me and our son) have restored a 1930s auto shop over the past 4.5 years. The family we bought it from helped us with pictures of the place "back in the day" and we've tried to preserve as much of the equipment as we could (sounds like you're trying to do the same thing). Second guessing what we discarded became nonproductive. We moved forward and so will you. Keith will always be there in spirit and that's what counts.

Chris and Tom (markviii and BB767 of the Restored 1930's Auto Shop thread)

Thanks for posting. I'm sure he wanted you to have it, right? It's not like you're taking it from him, he's giving it to you.
And don't feel guilty about throwing some of the stuff out. I'm sure you'd take it all if you had unlimited room.
I want my tools to go to somebody I love and who would appreciate it and use them! And you do.

Think of it this way. Would you think he'd rather have some guy that's not in the family have that stuff and possibly trash it? or would you think he'd want you to have it? that's what i think of when i get free inherited stuff.

We lost my father-in-law I guess almost 2 yrs. back, I ended up with a small box of tools (old Craftsman) nice stuff. The other thing we were given was his 66 Chev Impala convertible. Its nice too, but not a fair trade for the loss. He was a great guy and his daughter is great too.

It will be a lot of fun when you show us your pictures! I thought of doing the same thing one day on this forum. My dad left a lot of wood working tools, and i don't know what/or how to use 75% of them!

I have my dad's tools. I remember having to sell Mom and Dad's home and hold the estate sale. You and the family make room for what is unique, what has shared memories. However, you already have a house and garage full at home. So, inevitably, truckloads of the rest must end up in an estate sale, donated to Goodwill or taken to the dump. Do what you can and don't look back at what you couldn't do.

jack vines

I was not intending to make my first post on this website today but I had to after reading your "ramblings". To me they were far from ramblings. I enjoyed the posts. I wish my family experiences were like yours. After my gr mother, gr father & dad died, certain relatives fought over their possessions. I was embarassed. C'mon guys! It's just stuff. My dad did have some neat tools that I did get some of & am very sentimental about them. When I get enough money saved up to build my workshop, they will have a special spot of their own in it.

My father died last year and my mother this year. My sister and I split up the stuff. I bought her out of the small farm, 16 1/2 acres with 9500 square feet of buildings. There is a 34 foot square concrete block shop and a 2400 square foot fully finished barn that is only a few years old. My sister was not interested in anything but a few items from the house. I have been sorting through the stuff, keeping some and selling others on Craigslist. By the time I am done, I will have lots of cool stuff in several buildings and money from the stuff I sell. It is about an hour from home and I built a Man Cave in the newest building to stay in over the weekend. My son bought the house and has a tenant in it.

The thing about inherited tools is that every time you pick it up and use it, it sparks a memory of the person it came from. I have lots of tools from relatives that have passed and their memory is refreshed every time I use one of "their" tools.

Enjoy and pass em on, might even keep your memory alive....

Question said:

The thing about inherited tools is that every time you pick it up and use it, it sparks a memory of the person it came from. I have lots of tools from relatives that have passed and their memory is refreshed every time I use one of "their" tools.

Enjoy and pass em on, might even keep your memory alive....

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I agree. When I pick up one of my dad's old tools, I can picture my dad using the tool, when I was a kid.

I have plenty of shiny matched sets of tools and one drawer full of miscellaneous wrenches and other tools handed down from Grandpa, Dad, uncles. More times than not, I grab the old stuff. I can actually remember what wrenches my Dad used at various times in my life and what I was working on at the time. Whether it was my bicycles or the cars. I feel that connection with them I guess and seldom bring myself to grab the newer wrenches I bought for myself.

Hello, I have lurked for a while on here and was not intending to post until later in the year when I intend to refurb my own little Man Cave however this thread has spurred me on to posting this warning to anyone out there who might find themselves in the same situation as I did about 4 years ago.

I had an Uncle who introduced me to car and motorcycles and in terms of male bonding was more like a father to me than my own dad. (No disrespect to my dad, he was not into all things mechanical but I am and so was my Uncle). My uncle joined the fleet air arm in 1947 as an apprentice and over the years amassed all sorts of cool stuff.

My uncle died of cancer 4 years ago and, as he had previously told me he would, his Will left me the contents of his garage. On the day of his funeral, as we were waiting with my Aunt for the hearse to turn up at his house I was asked by his daughter (he only had 1 child by a previous marriage and she lived at the other end of the UK) what sort of stuff I wanted out of the garage. My mistake was that I was upset at the time and did not fancy talking about it too much so I said something like the things that meant the most were not necessarily the big stuff but things that had sentimental appeal. What I should have said, with hindsight, was "everything"

Fast forward 3 months, as it took me that long to steel myself for the heart wrenching experience, and I went over to my Aunts to take a look through the garage. When I went in it had been cleared out bar a few small bits. My Aunt explained that her stepson in-law had cleared the garage out on the morning after the funeral because he said that I had told him that I only wanted a few small items.

Four years on and I am still upset and angry about it and I am welling up just typing this post. Yes I do have a few small pieces and I cherish them as some of my most treasured possessions but there are things like his snap-on socket set that he got when he was an apprentice that are somewhere in Cornwall with someone who has absolutely no appreciation for them other that the fact that he probably thinks its cool to have a old SO set. There are loads of other items like that that I guess I will never see again.

Moral of the story. If you are ever in the same situation as me then just make it clear that nothing is up for grabs, its all youre. Then, you can choose what youi want and what someone else might be welcome to.

Sorry to hijack the post with my rant.

I dread the day I have to do any of this with my fathers things, or my soon to be father-in-laws things...

Those of you who've said "everything" is right.. all it takes is something to throw a bunch of "trash" away that was perfectly good things.

I have a lot of my parents stuff that I cannot bring myself to dispose of. It would not be of value to anyone else, but it means something to me. I have several Rubbermaid bins of stuff in the loft of one of my buildings and I told my son that some day he can decide what to do with it. Space is not a problem, so I might as well keep it.

Sorry to hear this as well.

My Father died in January of 2009. He had quite the shop for woodworking. While I was building my new garage, Dad was admitted into the hospital and later passed.

My Mother told me that if there was anything I'd like in Dad's shop...take it, he'd want you to have it. Truth be told....he would have given or lent me anything in his shop. Still, one has some guilt. Now, over a year later....I use Dad's drill press, bench, etc...and think of him. We did some projects together and these things remind me of good memories.

While Dad's never far from my mind, having some of his things "in use" almost allow him to be there with me. One more (off topic) note. For my Father's memorial service, we had a collage of pictures made with Dad, the year of birth/death, etc....and it now hangs framed in my garage.

So...back on topic. You shouldn't feel guilty. Feel honored that you are using a loved-one's things.....keep the good memories going. In my thinking, it's a honor to have these things that were once cherished by a loved-one.

A few years ago when the Alzhemier's started...Dad admired my DeWalt drill. He had a Makita who's batteries were shot. I saw a deal at HD on a DeWalt and bought it for Dad. He was so pleased to have it...and to know that I thought of him. He never did use this new drill.....but now when I use it....I know who's it was and that it was given and recieved with love.

Ah geez...now I'm getting mushy!

After reading "Flange" it made me remember that I was a little aggressive when my dad passed away. I basically took everything in the garage and just set aside one nice set of something to give to the Grandsons. When my sister's complained that their boys did not get enough, I just told them, "I'm not dead" "Man's tools goes to his Son" I also told them if my nephews show any inclination down the road for mechanic or wood working, I would gladly give them what they need. Oh yeah, also i told them that when Mom passed, they could have everything inside the house except one nice thing for my Daughter.

Sadly I was just a bit too young to go through my grandfathers shed and garage when he died, besides, the curmudgeonly old ****** left most of it to my cousins husband and my side of the family didn't get left a bean (there was a big family scandal that became known after he died turned out my Mum and her younger brother didn't have the same mother) Go figure, he had lots of cool stuff too.

My tools etc are already detailed in my will to go to my boys.

Matt M said:

One more (off topic) note. For my Father's memorial service, we had a collage of pictures made with Dad, the year of birth/death, etc....and it now hangs framed in my garage.

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That reminds me - the day my Dad passed, his neighbor and his son came up to the house as soon as they heard the news - they pciked up an old farm spreader they all had all been working on together. They immediateley took it home and finished the work, painted it up and parked it on display at the end of thier driveway by the time the services where held. It was there for all to see - eveyone who knew Dad, knew what it meant....They still have it parked there as a memorial.

>>Why then do I feel guilty almost greedy? <<

Because they were his tools.

You just have to consider that if that were an estate sale, nobody would be giving his stuff that kind of respect, and if you were somewhere else, you wouldn't feel greedy digging through it. He would want it to be you.

In short, sorting through a family members tools for such purposes *****. Doing it to a strangers stuff is awesome. Weird huh?

Edit: If your inlaws were greedy and didn't want you to have it, they'd let you know. Trust me, as I've dealt with greedy relatives who just wanted stuff to sell.

Ruddy said:

After reading "Flange" it made me remember that I was a little aggressive when my dad passed away. I basically took everything in the garage and just set aside one nice set of something to give to the Grandsons. When my sister's complained that their boys did not get enough, I just told them, "I'm not dead" "Man's tools goes to his Son" I also told them if my nephews show any inclination down the road for mechanic or wood working, I would gladly give them what they need. Oh yeah, also i told them that when Mom passed, they could have everything inside the house except one nice thing for my Daughter.

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Not too late to fix that. Their grandfather was important to them too.

There is no need to feel greedy, if you do, it is only because you have morales and are afraid of upsetting somebody else in the family.

I have two daughters and am amassing a large cache in my garage that one day will need passed on (I'm only 40, but as a firefighter, anything can happen) . I can only hope for a son in law that is a gear head or mechanically inclined. If there's no such luck, hopefully, a grandson that is.

NUTTSGT - it's not too late for your girls to become gear heads! Our daughter, who enjoyed working along side her grandpa and dad, loves tools, even if she doesn't get around to using them. She seemed to prefer the woodworking and picture framing with her grandpa, though. We taught her how to do the basics on her car (change oil, tires, air filters, windshield wipers, check air pressure, maintain fluids, etc.) just so she wouldn't be helpless (she's on the road a lot). Everyone should learn these minimal things in order to get a drivers license. Can't get out of our house without learning the basics (that includes swimming, basic plumbing).
Our kids have already put "dibs" on the tools (and the cars and the shops and the properties) - they can fight over how to divide them up after we're gone.

Sorry for taking so long to put up some pics. but check these out!

Those are some pretty mean *** tubing tools (more specifically the threader, reamer, and cutters).