Ever do something so stupid you wonder if you should be left unsupervised?

[ZRX61]

A few days ago I got my second shipment of flaxseeds. One of the two bags had opened in the box. Got an Amazon credit for that one even though most of the seeds were still in the bag. I tipped the loose seeds into the trashcan.
Today I was flattening & throwing out some boxes in the garage. This project ended up with me dumping several hundred flaxseeds on the garage floor.... ******!
Luckily there were all within an area of about 6sq ft so easy to vacuum up...

or rather they WERE until I tried to vacuum them up with the hose in the wrong hole & blew the ******* things all over the garage..

 

[Zeke]

^^^ I really did LOL!

 

[FrogInTheWell]

Lets see, I cut the wood for the bunks on my boat trailer all 6" too short! Got my hair into a batch of expanding foam. Oh and I nearly super glued my lips closed one time! The best has to be the time I had my hand resting on the ball on the rack while bowling, another ball comes up and slams my finger, I go to put my finger into my mouth from the pain but I forget to let go of the ball busting my lower lip open!

 

[Bad Eye Bill]

^^^ I really did LOL!

Me too.

 

[FrogInTheWell]

Me too.

Which one did you do?

 

[Magnum440d100]

^^^ I really did LOL!

Same HAHAHAHAHA

Sounds like what I would have done.

 

[no704]

As a teenager I built a lot of model airplanes. I had a habit of holding the cap for the glue (the good orange stuff) in my mouth. Missed once. That stuff burns!

 

[WAS Jr]

I’ve cut things short so damn often that now I don’t even count them in my stupid list. I just budget for at least one when I put together my material list.
Bill S

 

[Bad Eye Bill]

Which one did you do?

Laughed out loud.

 

[Chukster]

As a teenager I built a lot of model airplanes. I had a habit of holding the cap for the glue (the good orange stuff) in my mouth. Missed once. That stuff burns!

Wow, you're a pro at this! Me, I just grab the Sharpie cap in my teeth and use the Sharpie, then try to put it back in the cap 'cuz my other hand is holding the damn project. Instant bandito mustache.

 

[Lassen Forge]

(re the flax seed and vacuum blower thing)^^^ I really did LOL!

I did both, because I've done the same effing thing with lawn and clover seed - in my shop. store it in 1/2 gallon canning jars, and dropped one. A full one. And yep, forgetting I used the vacuum to blow off the walkway, I kicked on the "vacuum" which was now an industrual blower. Looked like a golf club gardeners snowstorm in there, And.... Sure as goats bleat, the next spring I had friching bluegrass and dichondria growing along the walls of my shop.

Wow, you're a pro at this! Me, I just grab the Sharpie cap in my teeth and use the Sharpie, then try to put it back in the cap 'cuz my other hand is holding the damn project. Instant bandito mustache.

Damn, done that, too. Except I go the other way, so I get "racing stripes" on my cheek.

Even more fun when using the RED magic marker.... tho I could tell people around me I was on the warpath that morning, and they believed me.

 

[Alchase]

I was in the kitchen putting our front loader washing machine back together after doing a bearing replacement. The kitchen has more room to work. The front cover had four self tapping metal screws to hold it. I get to the last screw, holding it between my thumb and fore finger, using my Milwaukee cordless driver.
Somehow the screw I was holding pulled a gravity defying maneuver, and popped upwards still on the driver, and proceeded to drive right into the side of my thumb right at the first joint. It went a good 3/8" into my thumb.
A quicker thinking person would have reversed the drill and back it right out. I just reacted by grabbing it and yanking it out!
My wife watched eyes bugging out of her head.
Did I tell you I was on Xeralto blood thinners? That sucker bleed all over me, the washer, the floor all the way to the sink. It amount of blood looked more like I cut my throat and not drilled a screw into the side of my thumb. My wife ran to the bathroom to get band aides, I grabbed the super glue out of the junk drawer. I was wiping blood away and just getting ready to put some super glue on my thumb when she came back into the kitchen and saw what i was about to do. She yells "what in the world are you doing?" I tell her and she gives me this look like I had a third eyeball in the middle of my forehead. I let her bandage me up and she kept giving me that look. Later I am coming out of the garage, I hear her on the phone with her Mom telling her all about it. She gets to the super glue part and her Mom says "well maybe he was in shock?" I just smiled, because I had just finished putting super glue on it while in the garage. I kept that part to myself.

 

[Chukster]

I was in the kitchen putting our front loader washing machine back together after doing a bearing replacement. The kitchen has more room to work. The front cover had four self tapping metal screws to hold it. I get to the last screw, holding it between my thumb and fore finger, using my Milwaukee cordless driver.
Somehow the screw I was holding pulled a gravity defying maneuver, and popped upwards still on the driver, and proceeded to drive right into the side of my thumb right at the first joint. It went a good 3/8" into my thumb.
A quicker thinking person would have reversed the drill and back it right out. I just reacted by grabbing it and yanking it out!
My wife watched eyes bugging out of her head.
Did I tell you I was on Xeralto blood thinners? That sucker bleed all over me, the washer, the floor all the way to the sink. It amount of blood looked more like I cut my throat and not drilled a screw into the side of my thumb. My wife ran to the bathroom to get band aides, I grabbed the super glue out of the junk drawer. I was wiping blood away and just getting ready to put some super glue on my thumb when she came back into the kitchen and saw what i was about to do. She yells "what in the world are you doing?" I tell her and she gives me this look like I had a third eyeball in the middle of my forehead. I let her bandage me up and she kept giving me that look. Later I am coming out of the garage, I hear her on the phone with her Mom telling her all about it. She gets to the super glue part and her Mom says "well maybe he was in shock?" I just smiled, because I had just finished putting super glue on it while in the garage. I kept that part to myself.

In spite of listening to "The People's Pharmacy" pretty religiously on Saturday mornings, and they've talked about this any number of times, my wife still does not cotton to this idea. Oh, well, you can lead a wife to superglue, but you can't make them use it!! :-D

 

[FrogInTheWell]

I’ve cut things short so damn often that now I don’t even count them in my stupid list. I just budget for at least one when I put together my material list.
Bill S

 

[ZRX61]

Steak for dinner tonight... decide it's probably gonna be gravy & tater-tots with the steak. Go the garage freezer, move bag laying on top & start looking for the tater-tots in one drawer. Move 7 or 8 bags of frozen veg etc...
Hmmm.. no tater tots, at which point I look at the bag in my other hand... oh, there they are.

 

[PCustoms]

Steak for dinner tonight... decide it's probably gonna be gravy & tater-tots with the steak. Go the garage freezer, move bag laying on top & start looking for the tater-tots in one drawer. Move 7 or 8 bags of frozen veg etc...
Hmmm.. no tater tots, at which point I look at the bag in my other hand... oh, there they are.

My garage freezer is currently holding up a few cans of paint from last week, a pile of mail that needs to be sorted and a box of stuff that needs to be put away from the last time I cleaned the truck.

6 months ago.


No clue the condition or qty of steak or tots in there.

 

[Red 17]

Went after some termites on a 6 foot ladder. "I can steady myself on the beam and rafters..." I said to myself foolishly. Well, you can until you can't. Part of what got me also saved me. Standing on the very top I tried to steady and reposition the ladder with my feet while hanging on to the beam. I ended up kicking it away, which made for a clear landing pad. Bruise the size of Texas on my ****, concussion, but no headache and I didn't die in my sleep.

 

[ZRX61]

A new low, absolutely cracked myself up over this one...(possible sign of dementia)

I'm in the kitchen, thinking about lunch.. also thinking that I need to pee...

Walked into the garage to hit the freezer to see what's available... & unzipped my pants as I walked through the door.
Did a u-turn, visited bathroom, went back out to the garage...

That was 10 minutes ago, I'm still laughing.

 

[67drake]

Typo

 

[LXCam]

Well I'll add my name in here for the first time. I bail early most days, that means I'm out the door between 3:30 and 4. And I normally just close the garage door from the switch by the mandoor and run out stepping over the beam and off I go.

Yesterday I ran out and realized I forgot something right about the time the doors was maybe 1ft off the ground. So no biggie I stick my foot into trip the beam.........NOPE - that didn't work.

So no BIGGIE, I'll just leave my foot here so the door pressure sensor thingamabob kicks it back up.

You guessed it, that didn't work either AND my phone was already in my truck.

Let me tell ya something. I was quite surprised just how much down pressure that stupid thing had. I had a hell of a time getting my foot out past my toes.

 

[67drake]

About a month back I was out cutting my grass. Every few weeks I move my Johnboat and trailer out of the way to cut underneath. I go to move trailer, tires flat, and bead broke away from rim. Hmmm….I go into the shop and get a lighter, can of starting fluid, and my air tank.
I spray a good amount of fluid into the tire and light it. No BOOM! Just catches on fire and burns. Great! But now some of the fluid had leaked out onto the dry gas underneath. Well, we’re in a severe drought here in SW Wisconsin, and I keep this boat stored in the 7-8’ slot between my garage/shop and my wooden storage shed. Grass under the trailer is dead and brown.
Needless to say the fire spread quicker than I could stomp it out, and was getting farther under the boat. Screw this! I ran into the shop and grabbed a couple fire extinguishers. Thank God it went out easily.
I think of the hairbrained things I do sometimes and wonder how I’m alive. I could have easily lost my 1200 sq ft. garage , shed, and all contents in a matter of minutes.

 

[Zeke]

Steak for dinner tonight... decide it's probably gonna be gravy & tater-tots with the steak. Go the garage freezer, move bag laying on top & start looking for the tater-tots in one drawer. Move 7 or 8 bags of frozen veg etc...
Hmmm.. no tater tots, at which point I look at the bag in my other hand... oh, there they are.

Like finding your eye glasses on your head after looking for 15 minutes.

Nothing stupid to report today. I guess I just jinxed myself.

 

[67drake]

Another one I remember from a few years ago.
I was coming out of my pole barn for the night through the overhead doorway. It was a light fiberglass door, so with a good yank on the rope I could get it to slam shut and latch. Not tonight, it stopped about 2’ above the cement. Now the rope is too low to pull down on, so what do I instinctively do? Reach up and grab the top of the gap between two of the panels and pull down.
F*CK! Luckily I only slightly pinched the one hand and took my hand out, which I used to open the door back up via the handle. I know the ends of my middle and index finger were broke, but not a whole lot you can do except shake them around and yell profanity. I lost both fingernails a while later.

 

[nadogail]

I really believe that “All Safety Precautions Are Written In Blood”

 

[ZRX61]

Another one I remember from a few years ago.
I was coming out of my pole barn for the night through the overhead doorway. It was a light fiberglass door, so with a good yank on the rope I could get it to slam shut and latch. Not tonight, it stopped about 2’ above the cement. Now the rope is too low to pull down on, so what do I instinctively do? Reach up and grab the top of the gap between two of the panels and pull down.
F*CK! Luckily I only slightly pinched the one hand and took my hand out, which I used to open the door back up via the handle. I know the ends of my middle and index finger were broke, but not a whole lot you can do except shake them around and yell profanity. I lost both fingernails a while later.

Did the same thing about 18 years ago. KEErist that hurt, no fractures tho.

 

[TomC750]

At 83 and counting, done much of the above one time or another. There, saved a lot of space repeating ^^^ !

 

[rockcrawler]

A couple of years ago I borrowed a friend’s Kubota tractor to clean up some land we built a house on. I was in the process of pushing a pile of trees that we had cut down into a burn hole when I accidentally pushed the forward pedal instead of reverse pedal. The front wheel dropped into the hole and I could not get the tractor to back up. Well, it didn’t take long before the hydraulic hoses melted and the fluid ignited. I ran to get my Jeep that had a winch on it, but the battery was dead. Then I tried to yank the tractor out with my truck and a tow strap, but it would not budge at first. It finally came loose from the hole and I dragged it a few feet. By the time we got a water hose and a few fire extinguishers out there, it was too late. It was fully engulfed in flames. After finally putting out the fire and catching my breath, I called our insurance company and they said that our home owner’s insurance would not cover it. Then I called the local Kubota dealer to inquire about purchasing a replacement. Thats just the way I was raised. It was my mistake and my responsibility. The dealer asked me if my friend had financed it and I told him I highly doubt it. They told me that if he did, his loan insurance would cover it. My next call was one I was not looking forward to. I called my friend and told him what happened. He actually laughed at first thinking I was joking. After figuring out that I was not joking, he ensured me that he was not mad and we would figure it out. He kinda laughed and said that he was wanting to upgrade to a larger tractor anyway. He told me that he actually did finance it and said he would call them to see what to do next. The insurance ended up covering it and I paid him the deductible and the difference in price of what it would cost to get a new one of the same model, since the insurance pays him based on what the tractor was worth. Saved me over $20K. My friend was actually happy about it because it gave him a reason to upgrade to a larger tractor. I felt horrible. I always try to return stuff in better shape than when I first borrow it. Fortunately for me, I‘ve known my friend for well over 20 years and he is a good guy and he was really cool about all of it.

 

[ZRX61]

By the time we got a water hose and a few fire extinguishers out there, it was too late. It was fully engulfed in flames.

Back in '87 we had a hurricane hit the UK. First order of business was cut a gap in the HUGE oak that had fallen at the village pub so we could access the door.
That evening I'm sitting there having a few when I pair of brother I knew walked. One has both arms in casts & the other had a dressing & brace on his neck.
Earlier that day they had been going to pick up their tractor & went by motorcycle. The one on the back was carrying the tractor battery in his lap.
They were going through another village when a female cop tried to stop them & yelled there were downed powerlines.
They took to the sidewalk to get around the cop & kept going.
Then they found the powerlines which were across the road at an angle. They hit the rider in the chest & then rode up his arms to catch under his helmet/chin. Because of the angle this caused the rider to be thrown off the side of the bike... leaving his brother sitting on the back of the bike with the battery still in his lap.
He continued a ways until a corner came up where he went straight on, bike fell into the ditch, he somersaulted over a hedge into a field still holding the battery & broke both his arms. Battery was destroyed.
Brother arrives in the scene after running up the road from where he was thrown off. Cop arrives, radios for an ambulance & they both go off to hospital.

We're all "holy ****, then what happened??"

They get released & attempt to continue with their day.
First stop was to pick up a battery, but it didn't have enough to start the tractor in the cold.
They lit a fire under the crankcase with a straw bale to "warm the engine" & make it easier to start.

Burned it to the rims.

 

[Bad Eye Bill]

Back in '87 we had a hurricane hit the UK. First order of business was cut a gap in the HUGE oak that had fallen at the village pub so we could access the door.
That evening I'm sitting there having a few when I pair of brother I knew walked. One has both arms in casts & the other had a dressing & brace on his neck.
Earlier that day they had been going to pick up their tractor & went by motorcycle. The one on the back was carrying the tractor battery in his lap.
They were going through another village when a female cop tried to stop them & yelled there were downed powerlines.
They took to the sidewalk to get around the cop & kept going.
Then they found the powerlines which were across the road at an angle. They hit the rider in the chest & then rode up his arms to catch under his helmet/chin. Because of the angle this caused the rider to be thrown off the side of the bike... leaving his brother sitting on the back of the bike with the battery still in his lap.
He continued a ways until a corner came up where he went straight on, bike fell into the ditch, he somersaulted over a hedge into a field still holding the battery & broke both his arms. Battery was destroyed.
Brother arrives in the scene after running up the road from where he was thrown off. Cop arrives, radios for an ambulance & they both go off to hospital.

We're all "holy ****, then what happened??"

They get released & attempt to continue with their day.
First stop was to pick up a battery, but it didn't have enough to start the tractor in the cold.
They lit a fire under the crankcase with a straw bale to "warm the engine" & make it easier to start.

Burned it to the rims.

Dumb and Dumber.

 

[ZRX61]

Dumb and Dumber.

Yup, they weren't known for being the sharpest tools in the shed.

 

[firebirdparts]

That's a jewel of a story.

 

[Bob Heine]

Decided to replace the T1-11 siding on the shed with Hardie. Pulled the base of the siding away from the studs from the bottom. To easily pop the siding from the top I slid the hammer behind the siding and all the way to the top of one of the studs and held it there with my fingertips. Pushed the bottom of the siding back toward the stud with my leg, which drove one of the nails through the back of my hand and into the stud. Lots of foot action and a really disgusting sucking sound when the ring nail came out. Brief discussion and ER tetanus shot ended the day.

 

[nadogail]

Decided to replace the T1-11 siding on the shed with Hardie. Pulled the base of the siding away from the studs from the bottom. To easily pop the siding from the top I slid the hammer behind the siding and all the way to the top of one of the studs and held it there with my fingertips. Pushed the bottom of the siding back toward the stud with my leg, which drove one of the nails through the back of my hand and into the stud. Lots of foot action and a really disgusting sucking sound when the ring nail came out. Brief discussion and ER tetanus shot ended the day.

OUCH

 

[Tynee]

Back in '87 we had a hurricane hit the UK. First order of business was cut a gap in the HUGE oak that had fallen at the village pub so we could access the door.
That evening I'm sitting there having a few when I pair of brother I knew walked. One has both arms in casts & the other had a dressing & brace on his neck.
Earlier that day they had been going to pick up their tractor & went by motorcycle. The one on the back was carrying the tractor battery in his lap.
They were going through another village when a female cop tried to stop them & yelled there were downed powerlines.
They took to the sidewalk to get around the cop & kept going.
Then they found the powerlines which were across the road at an angle. They hit the rider in the chest & then rode up his arms to catch under his helmet/chin. Because of the angle this caused the rider to be thrown off the side of the bike... leaving his brother sitting on the back of the bike with the battery still in his lap.
He continued a ways until a corner came up where he went straight on, bike fell into the ditch, he somersaulted over a hedge into a field still holding the battery & broke both his arms. Battery was destroyed.
Brother arrives in the scene after running up the road from where he was thrown off. Cop arrives, radios for an ambulance & they both go off to hospital.

We're all "holy ****, then what happened??"

They get released & attempt to continue with their day.
First stop was to pick up a battery, but it didn't have enough to start the tractor in the cold.
They lit a fire under the crankcase with a straw bale to "warm the engine" & make it easier to start.

Burned it to the rims.

How have I missed this story until now? That's a classic.

 

[67drake]

Just last night, I was checking the clearance between my piston ring and it‘a groove. It’s supposed to be no more than 006”. Well, I had grabbed the feeler gauges that my son uses on his motorcycles, it’s metric! I didn’t know that. I was wondering why I was coming up with .010”. I was already looking for new pistons on Summit racing when I noticed my mistake.

 

[engineer2]

Wife makes fruit smoothies for breakfast on weekday mornings. I told my doctor wife adds Metamucil to my smoothie for extra fiber. He thought it was a great idea. Wife has been forgetting, so I've been adding my own. Wife started remembering again but didn't tell me. I'm sure glad I've been working from home lately.

 

[67drake]

Oh, and another one. About 3 months ago I discovered that my hydrocortisone cream and toothpaste tubes look exactly the same on their backside, and even on my toothbrush. They do NOT taste the same. I now keep the hydrocortisone in a different drawer.

 

[PugetDude]

Oh, and another one. About 3 months ago I discovered that my hydrocortisone cream and toothpaste tubes look exactly the same on their backside, and even on my toothbrush. They do NOT taste the same. I now keep the hydrocortisone in a different drawer.

Preparation H and Vitalis Gel are the same color.

 

[dchawk81]

Wife makes fruit smoothies for breakfast on weekday mornings. I told my doctor I add Metamucil to my smoothie for extra fiber. He thought it was a great idea. Wife has been forgetting, so I've been adding my own. Wife started remembering again but didn't tell me. I'm sure glad I've been working from home lately.

Sounds like a relaxative lifestyle.

 

[dchawk81]

Preparation H and Vitalis Gel are the same color.

Makes sense.