Don't know about websites, most are at the extreme end as you say, because they're selling services.
In general, there are only a few common sources of asbestos in a home.
1) Occasionally, there is asbestos on the ducts or coal furnace, and the plaster on those is as bad or worse than the asbestos sheets or cloth. This type of asbestos is dangerous, it's both friable and the kind that causes cancer in your lungs. Same goes for the asbestos cloth wrapped around steam pipes. Two approaches here: One, wet remove, use a respirator, wet wipe, HEPA vacuum after wiping to remove all traces. Two, encapsulate in place with plastic wrap, tape, etc. This might be the place for professionals, not do it yourself.
2) Hard sheets as fireproofing around woodstoves, behind heaters, etc. This kind is not very dangerous, as long as you don't grind it up and inhale it. You can spray it with a mist of water, remove it, and then wet wipe up any dust, followed by vacuuming with a machine with a HEPA filter. Easy, limited do it yourself.
3) Asbestos containing floor tiles. This is overblown, those are totally innocuous, they're even hard to grind up and inhale. Just don't remove them. Or, if you do, reasonable precautions to not grind them up and inhale.
4) Asbestos siding. Same as hard sheets, don't grind up and inhale. If you remove, wear a respirator while working with and transporting. Dispose of in plastic bags, at an approved asbestos landfill, or your local landfill may allow them in the construction debris with documentation and plastic bags. Check with them.
5) Popcorn ceilings with asbestos. Again, not real dangerous, remove wet and use a mask.
6) Occasional occurrence anywhere where heat was a concern. Seals on fireplaces, furnaces, stoves, etc. Sometimes in old electric heating appliances. Case by case basis, again, wet to keep down dust, respirator, don't grind, clean up thoroughly.
7) Incidental ingredient in plaster, patching compounds, etc. Anytime you remove something like this, do it wet if you can to keep down dust, wear a respirator, clean up well preferably by wet wiping and HEPA vacuum. In reality, I'd use much the same protection against inhaling plaster dust as I would asbestos for these items anyway.
I worked on friable asbestos for 7 years before the dangers were exposed. Luckily, I haven't developed associated lung problems. I'm cautious working around it, but handle it routinely when I need to. In a house I'm purchasing, I don't ask sellers to remove it, I'm more afraid of them creating dust they don't clean up that I'll be exposed to later, than I am of being exposed to it removing it myself.
I see asbestos in a home as not a huge detriment, I usually look for it in my inspection, disclose it in my offer to buy, specify that I don't want the seller disturbing it, and ask for a reasonable price concession to remove it myself as condition of the sale. I feel the same about remediation companies, I'm skeptical sometimes that they clean it up well and don't create and leave/spread dust. Remediation techs are like lube techs; often they're low skill entry level laborers who haven't learned yet to get jobs that don't expose them to health problems.
. My sons and i had a small company that did small remodelling projects at a university, the city etc. Wanted to set up negative air dust control; my son bought a couple of big “negative air machines” that pull out the air through HEPA filters and sends clean exhaust outside via temp flex duct. (Wait for it.. ) When he got them home they were all covered in plastic and taped up… yup I assume full of asbestos!!! 
I mitigated them myself effectively to spec (asbestos cleaning and disposal procedures for fans).. I still have one! They’re great during any dusty work!! Cough cough..