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FS - Wife - Cheap

Junkman

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
6,640
Location
Northeastern CT
One used wife for sale $1.00 per pound, weight to be determined at pick up, since it fluctuates regularly. Her Indian name is Five Horses. Used but not abused, and still has a lot of life left in her. Good cook, breeding qualities unknown. Too heavy for light work, too light for heavy work. Sold AS-IS, Where is, NO RETURNS, local pick up or will ship for the cost of a few rolls of duct tape plus actual shipping. No pictures, camera broke after first try. Thanks Junk
 
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Professur

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 7, 2010
Messages
3,911
Location
Mo-Ray-Al, K-bec, Ka-Na-Da
My dad was a sophisticated man where educating us about wimmens was concerned. he only ever gave us one bit of advice. You can have *** with the lights off, but you always eat dinner with the lights on.
 

Bolster

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2008
Messages
4,056
Location
Mexifornia
Regarding wife for sale:

Any loose screws?
Is she a recognizable brand, a rebranded model, or a no-brand asian model?
Was she acquired at Harbor Freight by chance, any of that asian rubber-and-oil smell?
COO possibly Native American? So, can we assume USA made?
Any after-market parts installed, or all original?
Is there an odometer installed, and if so, what's the tally?
Does "Five Horses" equate to her worth, her size, her appetite, her output, or is this simply her horsepower rating?
Has there been regular ongoing maintenance?
 
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comedyman809

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
1,179
Location
Smithtown, NY-thats in suffolk county long island.
does it need work?

is it top heavy?

what size rear is on her?

is there a blower installed? if so, is it powerful??

when was her last service?

was she lubed?

does it make a loud annoying noise?

if so, can it easily be fixed with low cost fuel, or does it require high test???!!
 

LocoCoco

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 13, 2010
Messages
247
Location
Northern Ontario
Have the airbags ever deployed, leaving them thereafter deflated?

Anything been rebuilt?

Rear-end sagging or is suspension still firm?




LC.
 

babzog

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2009
Messages
2,117
Location
Eastern Ontario, Canada
Does it come with a working muffler? If not, are the mounts still in good shape, or will considerable effort and expense be required to silence it?
 

Kirbot

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
11,001
Location
New Jersey
As a good friend of mine once said,
"Every man should have two wives. One to do the cooking, and one to do the yard work." -Ed
:beer:
 

firstgenCamaro

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 12, 2010
Messages
46
Location
The middle of the oilfield in ND
If you find a buyer for yours I want to let mine go with the deal, kind of a buy 1 get 1 free deal.
She needs a little tlc, I'm not sure if she just has loose screws or some bad wiring or what. All I now is something is very wrong with her.
Just let me know where to send her and I will get her boxed up and shipped asap (the sooner the better).
 

JSBriggs

Well-known member
Joined
May 10, 2009
Messages
1,041
Location
Auburn CA
Instead of selling, have you thought about renting out (by the hour). In this economy, renting is more afordable than owning.

-Jeff
 
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2chipped

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
641
Location
Jesup Ga USA
What kind of lockout tag is used for monthly service intervals? Must be a meat person not a vegan. What type of fuel offers the best perfomance,diamonds or gold? Are the intake valves opperable, or only exhaust valves on the head? :lol_hitti:lol_hitti
 

Bustawrench

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2008
Messages
527
Location
South Jersey
One used wife for sale $1.00 per pound, weight to be determined at pick up, since it fluctuates regularly. Her Indian name is Five Horses. Used but not abused, and still has a lot of life left in her. Good cook, breeding qualities unknown. Too heavy for light work, too light for heavy work. Sold AS-IS, Where is, NO RETURNS, local pick up or will ship for the cost of a few rolls of duct tape plus actual shipping. No pictures, camera broke after first try. Thanks Junk

Trade you two ex wives for her..................
 

Teken

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2010
Messages
8,214
Location
The Bad Lands
I know the rules prohibit counter offers as you have clearly stated the price. But, given the unique sale item being offered here in the classified @GJ.

I find myself compelled to ask the following for clarification so as I may be a educated buyer.

Should you be able to confirm, meet, or even consider my offer please do let me know ASAP via PM.

1. Would you be able ship to Canada?

2. If so, would you please consider shipping via flat rate box. I have no problems with the said item being split up, perhaps this might reduce some of the excess weight?

3. Would you be able to provide tracking for the said item? Given the unique item it would be important to know where the parcel was in transit, so I could alert USPS that my item requires hydration.

4. I realize you did indicate sold as is, and final sale. But, would you be able to take a little off the curb weight? Once again, this is only to meet the strict guidelines of USPS weight restrictions and it would reduce my shipping costs.

5. I would prefer the gorilla style duck tape which they call 100 mpg speed tape. This would avoid the sudden bust of my new item from annoying my current model once opened from shipping.

Lastly, if you're able to meet this requirements would it be possible to pay part of the costs using Amex? I ask because given the costs I could get a few air miles as a added bonus for the purchase.

Also, Pay Pal is alright too, but I would really like not to use the gift option as it does not give me any Pay Pal protection.

Please let me know as I am very motivated and eager to purchase this *Wife* as I currently only have a few Kelly gurls . . . As they all know they are only temporary!

Much thanks for your kind consideration . . .
 
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Brad54

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2006
Messages
4,646
Any hail damage?

Is the cockpit still in pretty good shape, or worn out?

Any bolt-ons or aftermarket accessories?

What size are the headlights? And where are they currently aimed-- ahead, up in the trees, or straight at the ground?

-Brad
 

jay50

Banned
Joined
Oct 28, 2007
Messages
3,894
would her favorite fuel be trouser trout or half-pound ground round?
 

Snappy

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
1,914
Location
S.E. PA
This ad is tempting but I'm really looking for a deaf, mute, nymphomaniac with big hooters :)
 

Justanoldguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Messages
3,673
Location
Atiamuri. Central North Island. New Zealand
Cmon people, stop bumping this.. :beer::bowdown:

Ryan says::

"Hey fellas, we are gonna start banning folks that continually ignore this rule. Please... Only reply to an ad if you have a pertinent question. No flaming or comments".

Remember, pertinent questions and no comments... :beer::thumbup::lol_hitti
 
OP
J

Junkman

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
6,640
Location
Northeastern CT
I think that I know exactly what you need.... Are these too big for you to handle??? :lol_hitti
 

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Heavy Metal Doctor

Well-known member
Joined
May 26, 2010
Messages
5,417
Location
Mason Dixon Line
I think I got the "Boomerang" security installed in mine without even asking for it -- everytime I toss 'er out, she always comes home!!

...and I thought leaking for week straight was only common for British models????
 
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