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Interesting "light" theory

Ray-CA

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Joined
Jan 6, 2007
Messages
3,452
Location
San Diego CA
The Dark Sucker Theory

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light; they **** dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove
that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
**** dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in.
There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The
larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to **** dark.
Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to ****
dark than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are
full of dark, they can no longer ****. This is proven by the dark spot
on a full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing
all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to
the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because
it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the
disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't
handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage
Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied
or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from
the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating
Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel
into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a
great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to
slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and
darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This
is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were
to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly
opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave
the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.

Ray
 
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nadogail

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Jan 23, 2009
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Coronado, CA
Welcome to a different paradigm

Dark Absorbers have been around for years, I first learned about them in the late 70's from graduates of Navy Nucular Power School. I did not attend, I was unwilling to agree to reenlist at the time.
 
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sammerdog

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Jan 18, 2008
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Location
West Michigan
This theory would also explain why you can power a dark sucker with a potatoe. As a potatoe grows underground, it nourishes itself with the surrounding darkness. Once harvested, the darkness contained within the potatoe would hold a gravitational pull equivalent to the potatoe's mass, and thus pull darkness through wires attached to it from an adjacent dark sucker.

Man, the neighbor kid is gonna get an A for sure at this year's science fair at the junior high. This is even better than when I had him dump a roll of mentos into some diet coke....
 

2LTim

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Joined
Nov 9, 2008
Messages
143
Location
Central Iowa
All of this "Dark Sucking" talk reminds me of a Tech School Instructor I had back in the 70's. He claimed that it is impossible to "Pull" anything, you can only push.
His theory of using a log chain (which included a drawing on the board) was that the leading edge of the back bumper of the towing vehicle, "Pushed" on the back side of the front of the hook. The front side of the back part of the hook pushed on the back side of the front of the first link of the chain. The front part of the back of the first loop of the chain pushes on the back of the front part of the second loop of the chain. This continues untill you get to the other end of the chain. At this point the front part of the back of the last loop pushes on the back side of the front part of the back hook. The front of the back part of this hook pushes on the back side of the front bumper of the stuck vehicle, thusly pushing it out.
This same instructor had an interesting take on electricity also. We have probably all heard of protons, neutrons and electrons. And their respective positive, neutral and negative charges. But have you heard about their little known cousin, the ***-a-tron. This is the little gay SOB that runs around blowing fuses!!!
Tim
 

mmhouse

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Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
754
Location
Desert Southwest
This theory would also explain why you can power a dark sucker with a potatoe. As a potatoe grows underground, it nourishes itself with the surrounding darkness. Once harvested, the darkness contained within the potatoe would hold a gravitational pull equivalent to the potatoe's mass, and thus pull darkness through wires attached to it from an adjacent dark sucker.

Man, the neighbor kid is gonna get an A for sure at this year's science fair at the junior high. This is even better than when I had him dump a roll of mentos into some diet coke....

BUSTED.....Now we know that you are really Dan Quayle!!!

It's potato.
 
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