Life Changes thinking of building new garage

[M-technik-3]

So roughly two months ago my world was tossed into ruins. Wife of 4 years together for 10 years decides out of the blue "yeah ok" she wants a divorce.

I had just retired from USAF after 30 years in service and have not landed a job yet and have been suffering from depression for about 3 years after my mother died.

So basically for two months I have been miserable, seeing counselor and then I had one of those moments and said it's time to start living again.

Good thing is we own two homes, one was a rental and my lovely soon to be ex told the tenants they had 60 day notice before she even told me she wanted a divorce. Yeah She had been planning it and it hit me from behind.

I will be assuming the rental house and she gets the nice fancy one with pool and giant garage and barn and property.

Now the meat, house has a free standing garage on property now. It 26x24 with no second floor and is sagging. I don't want to spend any money on it so plans would be to tear it down and use the footprint that it's on to build a new garage.

I went to BUilding 84 and used their plans with 2x6 construction with a gabriel roof and a knee wall to bring the first floor up to 12 feet I'd be looking at 9K in materials. Give or take 3K. I have friends whole are GC and carpenter's and electricians so it's beer money and so forth except the electrician he wants to be paid of course. I have street supplied NG and there is already heat in the existing structure so shut of the line and build it right?

Should I spend the cash or should I do a home equity line to build it? Toyed with idea of selling it and moving but market is not the best in my area.

Thoughts?

 

[csargents1546]

Since we are on the subject of money, might I suggest you look into what Dave Ramsey says on similar subjects. His thoughts and teachings have been very enlightening for myself and my wife.
Me personally I would cash flow it. Don't add more debt to your house.

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[tjdux]

Sorry to hear about the divorce. Are you in a 50/50 state? Not trying to stir the pot or be difficult and pry into a personal matter, but if you are it seems as though she is getting the more valuable property and (here where i live at least) that means she has to equalize the value with you in the divorce... Generally that means cash for the party who doesn't get the nice house/boat/cars...

If you are getting a settlement the you can use that to pay for the garge build possibility. Good luck man.

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[rburke65]

Well if it's a 'tear down' go ahead n do that but I'd wait until ya find out more on the division and separation for assets if you are unsure about the money.

 

[M-technik-3]

We are in a 50/50 state and she maxes far more money than I do. I have told her I want cash out of this one and then she starts yelling I have no way to pay you....keep telling me that I know how much you make and so forth.

OK

This is after division of property and after it's finalized.

 

[tjdux]

We are in a 50/50 state and she maxes far more money than I do. I have told her I want cash out of this one and then she starts yelling I have no way to pay you....keep telling me that I know how much you make and so forth.

OK

This is after division of property and after it's finalized.

Are you saying division of property is complete or you want to wait to start tearing down/building until its complete. You could get it trouble for "changing" the value of property during the procedures. Even though you would be improving ots value not worth the headache i imagine until the legal junk is done.

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[ard]

No words of wisdom bud. Sorry to hear.

Sounds like you are planning all of this for AFTER everything is final. Smart.

Good luck

 

[M-technik-3]

Are you saying division of property is complete or you want to wait to start tearing down/building until its complete. You could get it trouble for "changing" the value of property during the procedures. Even though you would be improving ots value not worth the headache i imagine until the legal junk is done.

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Majority of property division is completed by ourselfs and we are in agreement with it. Except I want some equity out of the newer and larger home. She says hell no way and I say yes....

So I had free mediation and she said no, so we now go to trial.

Cost will go up between now and when I get to building it but I can deal with that. I will be a great bonus room but it will not be attached to the house. So it should not cause too much of a tax increase. I need to speak with my neighbir and ask him how much they are assessing him for his new garage.

 

[My Old Tools]

Trade the equity in the house to get your military pension free and clear.

 

[billspit]

^^^ Good idea

I would wait until after court to start spending more money.

 

[ddawg16]

She can only touch 4 years of the pension....

tech....don't make the mistake so many guys do and give in just to get it over.

She only gets half of what you collected together....anything you or she had before the marriage is off limits to the other person.

If she makes more...she might have to pay you alimony

Kids involved?

 

[My Old Tools]

You do have your own separate attorney don't you? If not, do that now. Do not use the same attorney.

 

[The Tool Tyrant]

You do have your own separate attorney don't you? If not, do that now. Do not use the same attorney.

^^X2

 

[garagelogician]

You do have your own separate attorney don't you? If not, do that now. Do not use the same attorney.

^^X2

^^X3

Protect yourself and your future. Don't let her get the upper hand or shortchange you.

 

[Swingpress]

Thank god I live in mo. Here no matter who bought what or when it's all considered marital property as long as a divorce hasn't been finalized. Cars, property, credit cards, furniture, that nice little collection of coach purses, those Gucci sunglasses, all! Meaning sell it ALL and then its only cash. In that situation I might have to donate some to some close family, friends etc. guess what 50% of nothing is?

 

[Cougar]

You do have your own separate attorney don't you? If not, do that now. Do not use the same attorney.

^^X2

^^X3

Protect yourself and your future. Don't let her get the upper hand or shortchange you.

^^X4

 

[Rod N]

^^^ This.

 

[isb cornbinder]

I was in this situation about 50 years ago. I gave it all up and moved 1000 kilometers away. My only regret is did not make sure all of the credit cards were canceled and destroyed. She had a new engine and transmission installed in a car she bought after the divorce. The credit card company transfered the debt to her, but there was an anxious month.
About a year after the decree absolute, she stopped by for a visit. We really got into "it" and I must say it was the best. After she caught her breath, she old me had remarried. How sweet it is.
I have not had any contact with her since 1972. Well, she did send a picture of her son. He looks like me and his middle name is mine.

 

[rburke65]

Don't forget any savings, 401k, her ? pension...

 

[larry_g]

I had a friend in town that tore down an old garage with the intent of replacing it. Long story short the town made it near impossible to do. So make sure that you have the permit in hand before removing the old one. Other wise you may have to redo the old one until nothing is left of the old one.

lg
no neat sig line

 

[HoosierBuddy]

^^X4

^^ X 5. You must get an attorney. Pronto.

 

[6768rogues]

Sorry to hear about your situation.
That said, if she is not cooperating I would force the sale of everything, split the proceeds down the middle, and then I would move to a state with better weather and lower taxes.

 

[M-technik-3]

I have an attorney, at the moment I am not using him but he is a close friend and is in the loop of what is transpiring. She has 401K I have Govt TSP Mine is more than her's by double and then some extra, both are not enough to live off. We both have agreed in writing to leave retirements alone and I will not be asking for alimony.

She came home today after being out of the house for a considerable time. Surprised me as I was not expecting anyone to open the door at 7 am. She was here for the pool opening. A Luxury as I refer to it....We ended up saying some cruel words to each other briefly shame I still love her but pain hurts.

Spending money on the garage will not happen till after the divorce is finalized. I might even just put the money in the bank. We have no children together, both of us have kids her's were here split with their father so 50/50 and we had lived in close proximity. Mine live with their mother in Michigan. My son needs to get out into the world and start living and my daughter was going to go to college this year but decided to complete her senior year before heading to Boston College. From what it appears she has a full ride scholarship with their orchestra. She plays 5 instruments.

Right now I'm just trying to be strong and I goto counseling once a week plus I do group every other week. VA is working with me to get a Therapy dog.

Reason I don't force the sale is we both need places to live...she has kids and I do as well. I think the judge will see it my way to a degree. what is the worse that can happen Judge does not award me a monetary amount and we pay our own lawyer fees if we go that route.

 

[tjdux]

Sounds like you have a real good attitude about the whole thing from what I'm reading.

Ive been through divorce as a grown child when my parents split and they got pretty 6 nasty with everything. You seem to be much better at handling everything than then. Thankfully im not married and i have told my long term girlfriend we may have a ceremony to make vows in front family and friends but i will not sign no legal marriage agreement.

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[Swingpress]

Please keep in mind. You get NO credit for anything you do that is not IN FRONT of the judge. A judge will see you for what you are to him, a line item on a docket. Parental custody, Next! Larceny, Next! Dissolution of marriage, Next!

 

[M-technik-3]

Sounds like you have a real good attitude about the whole thing from what I'm reading.

I've been through divorce as a grown child when my parents split and they got pretty 6 nasty with everything. You seem to be much better at handling everything than then. Thankfully im not married and i have told my long term girlfriend we may have a ceremony to make vows in front family and friends but i will not sign no legal marriage agreement.

Attempting to be as civil as possible, yeah I struggle with it. Today is the first beer I have had in about 60 days and I wanted one so I allowed myself to have one. I just finished my 5 mile loop that I run every other day. Have lost 25 pounds due to stress, exercise and anger and just plain not eating. I have dropped two waist sizes and feels good except All my pants fall down like I'm a hood rat with my underwear showing. Had to spend some money on some clothes.

I am handling like an adult as she is too.

Enough moping I was on a good exercise high. Suns out so I'm going back out and enjoy the weather.

 

[ddawg16]

Attempting to be as civil as possible, yeah I struggle with it. Today is the first beer I have had in about 60 days and I wanted one so I allowed myself to have one. I just finished my 5 mile loop that I run every other day. Have lost 25 pounds due to stress, exercise and anger and just plain not eating. I have dropped two waist sizes and feels good except All my pants fall down like I'm a hood rat with my underwear showing. Had to spend some money on some clothes.

I am handling like an adult as she is too.

Enough moping I was on a good exercise high. Suns out so I'm going back out and enjoy the weather.

As someone who went through something similar about 19 years ago (20 year marriage and 2 daughters)....the first couple of months is rough....you are second guessing yourself all the time.

Guess what....it gets better....real fast....

For the most part, it sounds like you are not going to get hosed....and come out of it pretty good in relative terms.

So....about that garage.....we will be glad to help you spend your money to build a new one....

Oh....and thank you for your service.....what was your AFSC? (or what ever they call it now)....I got out in 79....last assignment was 3rd MOB at BumFuck Tinker....(I hate OK City)

 

[M-technik-3]

10 years as logistics starting in ACLF then special duty to CLSS Combat Logistic Support being deployed lived for nearly 3 years in Middle East during first Persian Gulf War.

Then 20 as C5 Loadmaster, The garage I toy with making it just a tade bite bigger and like those in-floor lifts but I know a 2 post would serve me best.

 

[Swingpress]

I'm voting that you find a nice couple of acres and build a 60 x 110. Section 1/3 for shop and 2/3 for living. You can make this steel building very efficient and nice inside. That would be 2100+ sqf shop and take what you would have spent on the exterior of a house and make it awesome inside! That's what the wife and I are planning. We have estimates detailing things down to fixtures, air compressor, lighting, etc and will still be WAY cheaper than any comparable home in the area! Exterior not withstanding. lol I would rather walk up to a steel building and have my jaw drop once you walk in instead of making it look impressive on the outside but not getting what I want on the inside.

 

[Mike.VA]

Sorry to hear, hang in there, tomorrow will be better.
On the money, remember many judges see Military retirement as a shared retirement.
Even if she make more, this is not part of the it. Be careful, don't assume she will not come back for that later.
Good Luck, and for the time frame, my suggestion is get a lawyer that does this **** everyday.

 

[M-technik-3]

Guy's I have a lawyer if I need him, he is not on retainer right now and has been working with me pro bono as he is a friend of twenty years. We used to work together and he decided one day to goto law school with his GI Bill and The prison payed for it as well. Any way he specializes in divorce and he just had the same unpleasant experience happen to him after 30 years in as well.

Land here in the Northeast is not cheap by any means and I don't find myself wanting to randomly pick a place to live on a whim, I do have some friends out in Colorado that have said come join our commune, about 5 of them bought 250 acres. All are former USAF memebers and i get along with them.

 

[hemifalcon]

Guy's I have a lawyer if I need him, he is not on retainer right now and has been working with me pro bono as he is a friend of twenty years. We used to work together and he decided one day to goto law school with his GI Bill and The prison payed for it as well. Any way he specializes in divorce and he just had the same unpleasant experience happen to him after 30 years in as well.

Land here in the Northeast is not cheap by any means and I don't find myself wanting to randomly pick a place to live on a whim, I do have some friends out in Colorado that have said come join our commune, about 5 of them bought 250 acres. All are former USAF memebers and i get along with them.

I've learned.. never marry your friends.. sharing anything like that sounds cool at first-until it's not.. get your own piece of peace sir...


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[M-technik-3]

I don't plan to move there, things change and so forth. I will have a roof over my head and a garage for 3 of my cars. One can sit outside and I might sell one as soon as it reassembled as I had bought it for her. Rather not live with memories of it. One of the reasons I did not take over payments of the 2016 F150 she bought me in Sept. I think it was a guilt purchase anyway so it stung even worse to drive it and pay for it. She still has it and is going to use it as swing in trial the judge is going to say lady you don't need two cars sell one. There is my payment and I'm gone out of her life. All of my cars are paid for years ago and the newest is a 97. The oldest an 86.

 

[M-technik-3]

So town says good to go and no need for a variance because it meets setback codes and so forth. The bad thing is it's going to dwarf my house.

This is what it looks like about 2 months ago when we were selling it. Then she asked for the divorce....skip her, I'm moving back there I need a place to live.

 

[PhxDarius]

Hope things turned out well for you! Update us sometime if you feel like it.


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[Basssj]

If it were me, I would build the garage with living space on the second floor and then rent out the main house. Your tenants would pay for a big portion of your month to month living costs and you would be close by to keep an eye on things.
Thank you for your service

 

[Bigbandguy]

Be VERY careful. Sad to say in some family courts some judges are in the tank in favor of lawyers they see a lot or who make "contributions" to their retirement or or re-election funds. The former are usually in the Cayman islands somewhere. I saw this happen to a friend and he was absolutely cleaned out by a crooked lawyer and even more crooked judge but try proving it.