Hubby (spouse) proofing the workshop?

[justyn890]

I grew up with professional builders and mechanics. Every tool had an exact place and was kept clean. If you used it, it went back.

For the last 15 years I have struggled with my husband's tool abuse. No matter how I organize, I find them rusted, in rain and snow, covered in dirt, mud, oil, whatever you can imagine. I've seen my new blades used to cut things they were not meant and left destroyed. I can not keep a sharp pair of cutters anywhere. I bought pink tools in desperation to find them covered in grease and pesticide in work trucks.

Fast forward and I have a new house, garage with room, and a big shed, with tons of storage. It's great, except the same problems.

How do you all cope/manage with a disorganized and tool abusing spouse???

I'm starting a huge aquaponics system and I need to hubby proof the system. He likes to guestimate a bit too much.

Thanks ahead for the suggestions.


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[930dreamer]

A good lock?

 

[Jack84]

I gave my wife a tool set of her own. She already has a hammer, everything else is a chisel.

 

[NUTTSGT]

Like 930 says, a lock. Keep him out and your tools locked up.

 

[IMXCITD]

I was going to say what Jack said...he needs his own separate tools so he doesn't jack yours up!

 

[bczygan]

Simple


Remove spouse!

Bill

 

[mc4life27]

I grew up with professional builders and mechanics. Every tool had an exact place and was kept clean. If you used it, it went back.

For the last 15 years I have struggled with my husband's tool abuse. No matter how I organize, I find them rusted, in rain and snow, covered in dirt, mud, oil, whatever you can imagine. I've seen my new blades used to cut things they were not meant and left destroyed. I can not keep a sharp pair of cutters anywhere. I bought pink tools in desperation to find them covered in grease and pesticide in work trucks.

Fast forward and I have a new house, garage with room, and a big shed, with tons of storage. It's great, except the same problems.

How do you all cope/manage with a disorganized and tool abusing spouse???

I'm starting a huge aquaponics system and I need to hubby proof the system. He likes to guestimate a bit too much.

Thanks ahead for the suggestions.


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Good luck but for one right on for understand tools and respecting tools and use a tool out it back where it belongs. I wish I could find others like you. But the only way I have ever been able to solve that problem is I Gabe my
Gf her own tools and tell her mine are hands off 110% no if ands or buts. If you need a tool call me or tell me and I jump right on it I don’t give her the chance to wander and try do it her self. Most of the time she has good intentions but bad execution and I have to go fix her mistake and the issue so I have learn just to fix the issue to begin with.


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[glentre]

Married at least 15 years......... not going to change hubby. Look at the many shop photos on this site.......some guys have **** and tools all over their work area while others are neatnicks with everything in place. Hard to change either one of them. Best to have your own stuff locked up.

Glen

 

[bwringer]

I put together a set of "her tools" for my spouse which really did help. She did get a little touchy when I put high quality used stuff in "her tools" (like some old but very nice Craftsman pliers), so most of what she has now is the better quality Harbor Freight stuff, Tekton, etc. It's shiny, high quality, and cost effective.

And if you can possibly stand it, meet him somewhere in the middle with some stuff that's "our tools".

But I'm sure you've already tried that, so the next step is simply restricting physical access to "your tools". As far as making messes in general... that's a tough one.

I have the distinct feeling we're way beyond "his tools" and "her tools" territory here and perhaps getting into "marriage counseling" territory.

To him it's "just stuff". To her it's massive, blithering willful ignorance and disrespect. And every one of us here feels this pain in the core of our soul. Many have had the same problems with disrespectful co-workers, for example.

Since you have to live together, at some point you have to somehow bring your perceptions closer together.

There was a time when I was perfectly comfortable with an only occasionally cleaned kitchen. The dishes, pots and pans, got rinsed off so they wouldn't stink, but mostly sat in the sink until we needed them again; otherwise why bother? Made logical sense to me. It's just a kitchen. I do most of the cooking, so why shouldn't I manage things they way I see fit?

I eventually learned (I can be a slow learner...) that my wife perceived and felt all this very differently, and found that I could make her quite a bit happier and remove a bit of needless friction from our lives by treating the kitchen more like my garage; finish each project by making things clean, safe, reasonably organized, and ready for the next project.

 

[glentre]

While highly organized folks have difficulty understanding those who are disorganized and find it stressful to live with them, the opposite is also often true. A disorganized person may be stressed having to cope with someone who is neat and organized all the time. Could this be the real problem?

Glen

 

[Jazz1]

I'd come unglued if I told a person more than a couple times to put stuff back clean and where it belongs. Raised wrong or had momma picking up after him his whole life.

 

[Jack84]

I was going to say what Jack said...he needs his own separate tools so he doesn't jack yours up!

Sometimes she does use my tools. After all, I do use her chainsaw.

 

[Motorman55]

A dedicated cabinet with a lock on it. Big sign 'HERS KEEP OUT'. Use a combination lock so there's no key that can be found by him.

 

[harley jim]

Spouses can be hard to deal with when it comes to tools, my wife is always giving me the side look and making little comments trying to be nonchalant about it. So I've been trying harder to pick up MY tools and keep them where they belong. I have come up with a solution I think I got her a shed to organize [emoji106]

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[gmwelder86]

1 st post. Sounds like a troll.

 

[tarmy]

Been married 39 years...

I taught her how to use my tools!...

She fixes the washer, faucets...whatever. Hell, for our 13th anniversary I bought her a 8” Planner so she could build a crib.

I usually clean things up so my stuff gets put back the way I want it.

 

[justyn890]

Locking up seems harsh especially when he pays the bills. But I get the point. I'll have to get a small locking check for good blades and snips, anything sharp.

In his mind, if it Can cut it, it must be ok to use. (A "saws-all" is his favorite tool)

I am not looking to change him, I knew who I married. I would never ask him to measure and cut a board, but "spraying sh*t down" (pressure washing) and painting are his area.

I'm just looking for a way to minimize the damage to the stuff I really need. I see these great setups on here and I miss my dad's garage.

To all of you who lock your wife's from the tools, does she pay the bills also?

I've been thinking of putting a motion sensor in the shed with a camera that alerts me so I can just see what's been removed and go put it back later.

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[justyn890]

Been married 39 years...



I taught her how to use my tools!...



She fixes the washer, faucets...whatever. Hell, for our 13th anniversary I bought her a 8” Planner so she could build a crib.



I usually clean things up so my stuff gets put back the way I want it.

Hi Tarmy, I'm glad to hear you taught your wife to do for herself. It's great to be given skills versus always have to ask for help.

I made the mistake of just doing things for him. He would tear apart his breaks and get frustrated and leave, I'd put them back together with new pads while he was gone. He'd start a project get overwhelmed and I would just fix it when he was working.

I never minded bc it kept me busy when I wasn't working and raising the kids. Now I wish I had taken the time.

Best answer on here so far.
I may have to sneak lessons in during our aquaponics build.

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[justyn890]

1 st post. Sounds like a troll.

So just trying to find a way to manage my frustrations.

We never had a garage or shed before, so my expectations on the tools had to be a bit lower in the past.
I had to make smaller tool areas all over and can understand how they were not as convenient to replace.

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[harley jim]

It's tough to cohabitate in a shop if both parties dont share the same thoughts on how a shop should be operated

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[nadogail]

I enter her kitchen by invitation, or when asked to do something for her.
The Kitchen is her territory.

She seldom enters my workshop and has realized that it is not her territory.

August 16, we will celebrate our 40th anniversary.

 

[Lassen Forge]

How to keep your spouse out of your shop? That's a tough one, but talk is first...

I had a similar issue, and had to enforce the "this is my shop, not your storeroom" a couple times until the point finally stuck. You DEFINITELY need to have that conversation.

You may also have to get new locks on the toolbox, keep the key well hidden, and any inter-marital tool loans are just that - you use it, and return it clean and ready to use".

But communicate first. If DH decides that your rules aren't worth following for your tools, then there are likely deeper issues that need to be addressed as well.

It's all about respect. Marriage is about respecting one another. If he doesn't respect you enough to care for your tools or your requests, then... well...

Good luck!

 

[Milton Shaw]

My dad could destroy tools. It got to the point of handing him a flashlight to hold it while I worked.. That kept him from trying to help any more than just holding the light. It's strange that he could destroy tools since he sold S&K tools among other things. He starting giving them on birthdays and Christmas to me when I was about 8. Any screwdriver was a cold chisel, and any good wood sharp chisel was good for prying open paint cans and never ever give him any electric saws of any kind. Miss him every day for the last 11 years he's been gone.

 

[Evilunclegrimace]

Break his fingers, that will at least give you time to clean up his mess and put the tools in a locked area.

 

[harley jim]

Back around 2006 I was the physical plant manager of a private boarding school I had 200 acres and about 30 buildings to care for. I had a custodian that wasn't working out and after a couple of sit down meetings to discuss job description and duties she dissapeared never to be seen again. So I put the word out for a replacement and Pat showed up for an interview, we talked and came to terms and she was hired. For the first year I rarely saw her, all 6 of the maintenance people had phones and that was the main source of communication as we were spread over the 200 acres and I worked as a tech when I wasn't in a meeting. Later that changed some as we started remodeling and I found out she was a pro painter. Everyone knew what there job was and all of us were extremely happy with our jobs. To make a really long story short 8 years later Pat and I got married and are still happily married. If you can work with a person for almost 8 years and not have a cross word then it's a pretty good bet you can share the shop. She is better at keeping it cleaner than me as I tend to clean up at the end of a project where she is just clean all of the time.

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[theoldwizard1]

I grew up with professional builders and mechanics. Every tool had an exact place and was kept clean. If you used it, it went back.

With age come CRS (Can't Remember ****). One problem with CRS is putting a tool down and not being able to find it. My tool box drawers are "somewhat" organized (a drawer for metric wrenchs and adifferent drawer for SAE was a God-send !), but invariable I will find a tool in the wrong drawer. Only myself to blame !

 

[PelicanPines]

Place cursor on spouse... hit backspace 100 times... delete trash... reboot...

 

[p00p]

For the tools he uses & ruins, give him a link or a B&M store ad circling the tool you need replaced. [If] When being asked why you need the tool, don't disclose how it might have been ruined, just make it known that the tool are not useable anymore.

Maybe after a while of repetitive purchases of the same tools he might either A: take better care of them *or B: Start buying in bulk.


Cheers!

 

[vavet]

To the OP: you might end up with a few marriage proposals On the GJ if you keep making statements like that.

 

[ZRX61]

Bang his wife...


.. oh wait..

 

[p00p]

Randomly place pregnancy tests that show "+" in the areas he's grabbing tools from.
Might scare him away from going in your drawers.

 

[SILVERPLATE]

Sort of funny but I love my wife going to garage and getting whatever she thinks she needs. If she puts it back where it was that’s great but don’t really care. Glad she feels comfortable doing whatever she wants.

 

[ZRX61]

Hi Tarmy, I'm glad to hear you taught your wife to do for herself. It's great to be given skills versus always have to ask for help.

I made the mistake of just doing things for him. He would tear apart his breaks and get frustrated and leave, I'd put them back together with new pads while he was gone. He'd start a project get overwhelmed and I would just fix it when he was working.

I never minded bc it kept me busy when I wasn't working and raising the kids. Now I wish I had taken the time.

Best answer on here so far.
I may have to sneak lessons in during our aquaponics build.

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You sound like my sister, she's hooked up with some doofus who sends his bicycle to the shop to have chain lubed & the brakes adjusted. She's also had to go rescue him twice when he got flats while driving & he can't change a wheel.

 

[didit]

I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones. I married a contractors daughter that took an interest in the family business. She understands the purpose, importance and care of tools. She has her own toolbox with the basics but is free to use anything I have. I even labeled the drawers and bins to make it easy for her to find things. Never once did she begrudged me from buying anything I ever needed or wanted tool wise either.

On the other hand, I still have trouble finding things in the kitchen and am not allowed to do the laundry, ever since the 'red socks with some of her white things' incident

The only suggestion I would have for the OP is to impose some kind of penalty system for infractions. Let him know there will be consequences for misused, damaged, misplaced tools. If you gotta make it hurt to get results, so be it.

 

[justyn890]

With age come CRS (Can't Remember ****). One problem with CRS is putting a tool down and not being able to find it. My tool box drawers are "somewhat" organized (a drawer for metric wrenchs and adifferent drawer for SAE was a God-send !), but invariable I will find a tool in the wrong drawer. Only myself to blame ! [emoji38]

He may have been born with CRS.
I'd shoot for inside the shed.

I have some large built in wood drawers...
One for sockets (my good set is tucked away very hard to access, bc usually there's enough of the basics laying around.)
One for wrenches, one for screwdrivers, one hammers and pry bars, etc ...

I tried to keep it simple and have low expectations. This way we both feel we win a bit. He gets to just drop it in a drawer, I have an pretty good idea where to look. Less missing tools that way.

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[justyn890]

For the tools he uses & ruins, give him a link or a B&M store ad circling the tool you need replaced. [If] When being asked why you need the tool, don't disclose how it might have been ruined, just make it known that the tool are not useable anymore.

Maybe after a while of repetitive purchases of the same tools he might either A: take better care of them *or B: Start buying in bulk.


Cheers!

This is great, if he had to pay it off like my kids, in chores.

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[dffay]

Communication is one concern but ‘comprehension’ is the real issue. Understanding limits and boundaries is the key. Respect for your stuff is respect for you. Even if they don’t “get it” they should be asked to trust that it’s meaningful to you and a growing source of resentment that will manifest itself somewhere else or at some other time.
Good luck with the sit down but once you do, he won’t be able to say, “I never knew....”

 

[Lucky Llama]

My wife and daughters regularly borrow my tools and don't put them back where they belong. When a tool comes up missing, I place that tool on the gift giving list. The next gift giving occasion for the offending party, they receive a new tool of the type they borrowed and did not replace. After 32 shovels and 12 ratchet sets and about 100 screw drivers they have begun to put my tools back. Now they just take my phone charger.��

 

[KSJeff]

I have a bucket by the garage door and one in my outbuilding. If she uses something it goes in the bucket. Then I just clean out the bucket every week. Its something both of us can live with.

 

[Samh]

He may have been born with CRS.
I'd shoot him inside the shed.
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FIFY

Seriously though, maybe you need double all your tools. Have the set laying around that he thinks is yours that he can ruin, and then have the real set that he can't touch/doesn't know about.