Our latest recipient of the coveted Darwin Awards goes to Mr. Handel D. Wormwood of Cowpens SC.
It seems Mr Wormwood cobbled together a freight lift for use in his garage.
Despite explicit warnings on every component of the system, including the hoist, pulleys, cable, shackles and eye bolts that stated "not for use lifting humans or animals", Mr. Wormwood decided to ride the lift.
It appears that 2 cables broke, allowing Mr. Wormwood to fall >12 feet and be impaled on a large plastic bowling trophy which he was, inexplicably, bringing DOWN from the attic.
Lawton Meeks, the county coroner, estimates the time from the accident to Mr. Wormwood's final demise at 1 hour 10 minutes judged by the time stamps on Mr. Wormwood's cell phone, upon which, due to his dyslexia, Mr. Wormwood repeatedly dialed 119...119...119...119...
Mrs. Themla Wormwood, wife for 37 years and recent widow said "That Handy was always making stuff. I knowed he was gonna kill hisself, I'm just surprised it took this long."
Memorials may be sent to:
The Wormwood Institute of DIY Studies and Advanced Jury-Rigging
P.O. Box 4
Cowpens, SC, 29336