new platform ladder and Wifey doesn't know

[MarylandUSA]

Three days ago, while my wife was at work, I received a Louisville FXP1806 HD platform ladder. 9 ft tall, it's just the right height for me to clean our lower gutters at the front and rear of our house. I didn't have my wife's permission to buy it, but I bought it anyway. She's been in the garage a few times since the ladder arrived. The yellow 6-footer has been moved from the left side of the garage to the right side, replaced by the red 9-footer. Dunno how she's missed it!

 

[captain14]

Just think in a couple of months when you start cleaning the gutters, you can honestly say you have had it for awhile.

 

[GMCGarage]

Three days ago, while my wife was at work, I received a Louisville 1806 HD platform ladder. 9 ft tall, it's just the right height for me to clean our lower gutters at the front and rear of our house. I didn't have my wife's permission to buy it, but I bought it anyway. She's been in the garage a few times since the ladder arrived. The yellow 6-footer has been moved from the left side of the garage to the right side, replaced by the red 9-footer. Dunno how she's missed it!

You have to get permission from her to buy something??? Do you not work?

 

[MarylandUSA]

Yes, and I earn more than she does and contribute more to our savings and our emergency fund. But she feels that I buy too many tools that are used too seldom. I like to be ready. Now that I can clean my own lower gutters, I plan to hire Guttermaid once every two years instead of once every year.

 

[MileHighRover]

Sometimes I think I could park a new car in the garage and my wife wouldn't notice.

 

[bdbecker]

Not trying to rain on your parade, but financial infidelity is a slippery slope and can cause serious issues in a relationship. If you have an agreement to discuss purchases above a certain amount, it'd be worth coming clean about the ladder sooner than later.

 

[rok_hunter]

You have to get permission from her to buy something??? Do you not work?

My wife and I have a similar arrangement. Permission? No. Discussion before either of us spends a couple hundred dollars or more on something? Yeah, almost always. We both bring money in but have a joint account so it's only smart to make sure neither of us makes a big purchase without the other knowing about it. Nothing but consideration and respect for the spouses that's all [emoji1745]

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk

 

[MarylandUSA]

Not trying to rain on your parade, but financial infidelity is a slippery slope and can cause serious issues in a relationship. If you have an agreement to discuss purchases above a certain amount, it'd be worth coming clean about the ladder sooner than later.

I get your point, but this isn't your standard case of financial infidelity. If she had her way, she would veto almost every tool above $20 that I've purchased: Every cordless hand tool and 18-volt outdoor power tool. My one toolbox, a $500 Homak 27 top chest (no bottom). (I had been getting by with a pair of shalliw consumer-grade 26s that I had bought in 1985). An $80 portable workbench, for goodness sake. I buy most tools used or reconditioned, but if anything that angers her more. I still have far fewer tools than most guys on these forums. It's simply a frame of mine she has that "You don't need it." So she's not really coming to the table in good faith. Meanwhile, I veto or fault about 0% of her purchases.

 

[nadogail]

IMHO, My former wife was caught by my checking the monthly credit card bill.


She is now my former wife, an error in judgement can be forgiven; but not telling the truth about it is another thing.

 

[The Cobbler]

an upcoming thread by OP; My now Ex Wife took all of my tools, and....

 

[Wrench97]

Don't worry she noticed, she's waiting for the "right time" to let you know...........................

 

[Lassen Forge]

You know what they say...

"That's OK dear... you have to sleep sometime... " :

 

[bdbecker]

I get your point, but this isn't your standard case of financial infidelity. If she had her way, she would veto almost every tool above $20 that I've purchased: Every cordless hand tool and 18-volt outdoor power tool. My one toolbox, a $500 Homak 27 top chest (no bottom). (I had been getting by with a pair of shalliw consumer-grade 26s that I had bought in 1985). An $80 portable workbench, for goodness sake. I buy most tools used or reconditioned, but if anything that angers her more. I still have far fewer tools than most guys on these forums. It's simply a frame of mine she has that "You don't need it." So she's not really coming to the table in good faith. Meanwhile, I veto or fault about 0% of her purchases.

I totally get the frustration - I've been there myself. It ***** working your *** off and having nothing to show for it. One of the best things Wife and I ever did was to sit down and wrote out a budget that included a provision for a certain amount of fun money for each of us to spend as we saw fit. If she wants to spend her money on shoes and makeup, that's fine by me. If I want to save up for several months and buy a new peashooter or tool, that's my prerogative. At the end of the day, we both stick to the budget and we're both open about our expenses.

 

[nafterclifen]

So many things I want to say but out of respect, I'm going to keep quiet. Will keep this garage related.

Have you tried to show her the value of quality tools. Not only for the actions and repairs that can be completed with them but also their resale value too? Consider this...

Your car won't start. Alternator is dead. It's Sunday. For most people, no tools = a tow to a garage. Tow truck doesn't appear instantly. And it cost money. Youy likely won't have any issues but sometimes they do happen. Vehicle arrives to the garage and sits until late Monday afternoon when the garage says alternator needs to be replaced. It's on order and should be there on Tuesday. Either alternator arrives late or garage is busy and it's installed on Wednesday. Repair time = 3 days

If you had tools, you don't need a tow = money saved and any worry of tow damage or getting the vehicle dirty is non-existent. You can get the part on Sunday or Monday at the latest and have it installed 2 days sooner than the garage got it done. Yes, you spent some of your time and probably got dirty but you likely learned something and saved some money on labor and diagnostic fees (depending on how you value your time).

There are so, SO many other scenarios in which tools enable you save some money and get back to working condition faster.

Oh, and yea, this assumes you're not keeping track of return on investment for those tools. Haha.

 

[oldmachinenut]

don't worry she noticed, she's waiting for the "right time" to let you know...........................

^^^^this!^^^^^

 

[larry_g]

I totally get the frustration - I've been there myself. It ***** working your *** off and having nothing to show for it. One of the best things Wife and I ever did was to sit down and wrote out a budget that included a provision for a certain amount of fun money for each of us to spend as we saw fit. If she wants to spend her money on shoes and makeup, that's fine by me. If I want to save up for several months and buy a new peashooter or tool, that's my prerogative. At the end of the day, we both stick to the budget and we're both open about our expenses.

We did similar when we were raising kids and money was tight. We each had some mad money that was spent as desired. I also did a lot of wheeling and dealing to grow my pot.

lg
no neat sig line

 

[strength_and_power]

My coworker has what he calls “MDK money” Mama Don’t Know. It’s tips he gets from customers, side jobs after work, things like that. Seems to work well


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[ArcReactorKC]

I get your point, but this isn't your standard case of financial infidelity. If she had her way, she would veto almost every tool above $20 that I've purchased: Every cordless hand tool and 18-volt outdoor power tool. My one toolbox, a $500 Homak 27 top chest (no bottom). (I had been getting by with a pair of shalliw consumer-grade 26s that I had bought in 1985). An $80 portable workbench, for goodness sake. I buy most tools used or reconditioned, but if anything that angers her more. I still have far fewer tools than most guys on these forums. It's simply a frame of mine she has that "You don't need it." So she's not really coming to the table in good faith. Meanwhile, I veto or fault about 0% of her purchases.

My ex-wife was similar, but I don't know your whole situation.

At the time, I worked as a diesel generator technician, and then later in the marriage an industrial automation engineer. I had at one point somewhere north of $30k in tools. Mixed brands here and there, but the tools made us well into the six figures of income every year. But every damn time I bought a wrench, a socket, a new set of meter leads "YOU DON'T NEED THAT!!!!" even though it was exactly what I needed and our family needed so I could provide a higher level of income. She meanwhile purchased Coach and Michael Koors purses two and three at a time, never carrying one more than two weeks before relegating it "out of season" spending exorbitant amounts of money on takeout food for lunches and something called "rustic cuffs". She was employed as a receptionist and made <$12/hr, she was chronically late, took long lunches, and left early. So her 40 hour paycheck would end up around 30 hours on average, minus taxes, and her 401k. We would have been money ahead for her to not work and keep the miles, maintenance and fuel usage off the BRAND NEW F****ing car she had to have while complaining when I wanted a new truck for my hour long commute (one way)

.....rant over?

Long story short some of us can feel the pain, I couldn't solve the issues without leaving the marriage, but we had many more issues than just the money aspects.

I have no idea where I was going with this?

 

[bbbarracuda]

She's just waiting for the right moment... But, what about that ladder???

 

[vavet]

Y'all really make me appreciate my ****, long-legged wife.
She earns twice what I do.
She's taken the hit to be the stay-at-home learning coach for our son for the fall.
She trusts my judgement when I say "I need" or "I would like to have" some new tool.
She is more frugal than I am in some ways, but certainly agrees that we should live below our means and contribute heavily to our retirement funds.
She's a helluva cook.
She's got great *****!

 

[nadogail]

Y'all really make me appreciate my ****, long-legged wife.
She earns twice what I do.
She's taken the hit to be the stay-at-home learning coach for our son for the fall.
She trusts my judgement when I say "I need" or "I would like to have" some new tool.
She is more frugal than I am in some ways, but certainly agrees that we should live below our means and contribute heavily to our retirement funds.
She's a helluva cook.
She's got great *****!

IMHO, You married well.

 

[ArcReactorKC]

Y'all really make me appreciate my ****, long-legged wife.
She earns twice what I do.
She's taken the hit to be the stay-at-home learning coach for our son for the fall.
She trusts my judgement when I say "I need" or "I would like to have" some new tool.
She is more frugal than I am in some ways, but certainly agrees that we should live below our means and contribute heavily to our retirement funds.
She's a helluva cook.
She's got great *****!

Some of us learn the hard way, I did not make the same mistake again! I don't have any of the same complaints with the current wife.

 

[CraigStu]

We solved that problem before we were married. We each have our own checking account and credit cards. We work out, and change occasionally as needed, who pays for what of the household bills. Never any arguments, just a few discussions here and there about the big things.

 

[quadrcr87]

permission...What does that word mean? I guess I have just never seen it used in a sentence with the word tool

 

[gorilla]

Rid yourself from that woman before she has your balls in a jar.

 

[Jinks]

permission...What does that word mean? I guess I have just never seen it used in a sentence with the word tool

It means you have "permission" to borrow that tool of your buddies just long enough to determine if you need one like it, or one a little better. Anything else I can explain for you?......

 

[gazza]

Lots of opinions here but I would use the line "the new taller ladder is safer to use" gets you up higher easier, much cheaper to spend a few extra dollars to do it safely. A slip and fall from a shorter ladder would cost heaps more so in effect you are spending some money to save much more.

 

[bad_idea]

I have been happily married for 13 years now. We dated for 5 years before we married. We have 2 small children. Wife used to work a good job before we decided she would stay home with the kids. I make fair money and we do well, living below our means. That said, if I want a tool, I buy it - assuming I have the spare money. We don't finance things.

If you can't tell your wife you bought a ladder then you all have a problem. Money tears marriages apart. The wife telling you not to buy a tool is a power struggle - that's not good. Too many marriage end in divorce. I recommend you have a sit down conversation with her and have an honest conversation about her control over your recreational spending and activities. Dishonesty isn't the answer.

Sorry to get all 'Doctor Phil' on you. Honesty in a marriage is a big thing to me.

 

[Outlander]

Mrs Outlander has the Prime account, She knows all and sees all.

 

[PugetDude]

If you have to have "permission" to buy a ladder...and then gloat online about sneaking it into the garage...

Well, I probably shouldn't go there.

Good Luck, OP.

Subscribed for the two-year update.

 

[mepstein]

My wife likes for me to buy tools. After all, tools help me to work on the house. We both benefit. A couple hundred bucks doesn't raise an eyebrow. If i"m going to spend more, I ask to make sure she hasn't allocated the money for something more important. She pays the bills and I'm happy she does. I hate keeping track of monthly bills. 27 years married. You need to figure out early what works if you want to have a life together.

 

[unisawone]

On the Garage Logic podcast it's called the 48 hour rule, you keep it out in the open for 48 hours on the 49th hour you can say "that ladder has been around here forever" unfortunately she can use the same rule! Good luck!

 

[4 Ever-Fish N]

I buy stuff all the time without "permission". Tools, guns, etc. I've always been primary bread winner so... Sometimes she complains but she should get over it.

 

[Dumber than lumber]

Y'all really make me appreciate my ****, long-legged wife.
She earns twice what I do.
She's taken the hit to be the stay-at-home learning coach for our son for the fall.
She trusts my judgement when I say "I need" or "I would like to have" some new tool.
She is more frugal than I am in some ways, but certainly agrees that we should live below our means and contribute heavily to our retirement funds.
She's a helluva cook.
She's got great *****!

Okay. YOU ****

 

[SRU1436]

My ex-wife was similar, but I don't know your whole situation.

At the time, I worked as a diesel generator technician, and then later in the marriage an industrial automation engineer. I had at one point somewhere north of $30k in tools. Mixed brands here and there, but the tools made us well into the six figures of income every year. But every damn time I bought a wrench, a socket, a new set of meter leads "YOU DON'T NEED THAT!!!!" even though it was exactly what I needed and our family needed so I could provide a higher level of income. She meanwhile purchased Coach and Michael Koors purses two and three at a time, never carrying one more than two weeks before relegating it "out of season" spending exorbitant amounts of money on takeout food for lunches and something called "rustic cuffs". She was employed as a receptionist and made <$12/hr, she was chronically late, took long lunches, and left early. So her 40 hour paycheck would end up around 30 hours on average, minus taxes, and her 401k. We would have been money ahead for her to not work and keep the miles, maintenance and fuel usage off the BRAND NEW F****ing car she had to have while complaining when I wanted a new truck for my hour long commute (one way)

.....rant over?

Long story short some of us can feel the pain, I couldn't solve the issues without leaving the marriage, but we had many more issues than just the money aspects.

I have no idea where I was going with this?

I was in a very very similar marriage as yours. Mine ended too and I couldn’t be happier.

 

[Northislander]

Been with the wife since 1982 we have run a company together since 93. I'm on the tools she looks after the books, office etc. I have probably only been to the bank a half dozen times in the last ten years the wife looks after all financials. She knows tools make or save us money no permission needed usually no discussion i just buy what i need up to and including vehicles. real estate is usually discussed. About the only time she raises an eyebrow with a purchase i make is when i buy another gun unless its a "cute" one that she can shoot.

 

[Mattlt]

On the Garage Logic podcast it's called the 48 hour rule, you keep it out in the open for 48 hours on the 49th hour you can say "that ladder has been around here forever" unfortunately she can use the same rule! Good luck!

You beat me to it...

This is followed closely by the "Three Prices" rule.

1) The price you actually paid for the item.
2) The price you tell SWMBO you paid for the item.
3) The price you pay when SWMBO finds out what you actually paid for the item!

 

[Gummi Bear]

I’ve only ever owned one new ladder, the rest I rescued from being chopped up and thrown in the dumpster. What will fly on a Jobsite, and what is satisfactory for use around the house are two different things. I’m comfortable replacing a rivet with a bolt for a free ladder. It’s always worth it to be friendly with the tool manager at work.

I’m a little jealous, I like the platform ladders. They’re much less fatiguing to use.

Mrs sometimes gives me a hard time about spending money on tools, but not too often. Usually I can justify it, and there’s no issue. For hobby stuff, I do side jobs. That’s how I pay for hunting / fishing gear, tools and stuff like that. I keep the house up, all of our cars running, and help family and friends from time to time.


She has learned and understands the value of good tools. She buys her own tools : good sewing machine, canning tools, gardening tools, etc. She has found out that cheap tools resulted in poor results or they broke. She understands that good tools cost money, and the value is in years of service.



I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately...

Henry David Thoreau

 

[LS6 Tommy]

Y'all really make me appreciate my ****, long-legged wife.
She earns twice what I do.
She's taken the hit to be the stay-at-home learning coach for our son for the fall.
She trusts my judgement when I say "I need" or "I would like to have" some new tool.
She is more frugal than I am in some ways, but certainly agrees that we should live below our means and contribute heavily to our retirement funds.
She's a helluva cook.
She's got great *****!

Pics or it didn't happen...

Tommy

 

[DJF3]

Haha....I needed an angle grinder the other day to start cutting my rebar. She asked "how much is that going to cost?" oh, around $50. What I didn't realize is that's for the cheap corded 5 amp grinders. I have a bunch of 20V Dewalt already, so it only made sense to by a Dewalt grinder, right? Of course it doesn't come with batteries. So, a new grinder and 2 new 5ah batteries was almost $400 She hasn't found out....yet.