my idea is to circulate water in pipes with a smart controlling system, but I need to know the severity of the problem? are electric heat tapes energy effective? how much does it cost for you? what regular solution do year-round cottage-owners use to defrost the pipes?
This won't work (imho) - recirculating systems traditionally circulate the "main" and the branches themselves are not circulated. Even if you circulate from every branch, you've still got valves and potentially things like toilets (and toilet lines) that store non-circulated water.
This is a common problem in northern climates where homes are not "year round" - 2nd homes, etc. The common solution is to drain / blow out all of the water through every valve and (sometimes) use food-grade anti-freeze in traps.
I'm in a southern climate, we use heat tape, insulation for lines that are externally exposed (external tankless heaters, water pumps, water tanks). It works fine. The heat tapes I use have an external thermostat. Their cost (in a southern climate) is very difficult to calculate as it is not substantial (<10 freezing days per year). It is definitely less cost than a circulation system with a pump that keeps the water in the lines heated.
There is one case where I use a circulation system in extreme temperatures. I use an external hose bib and return that water to a 5000 gallon tank via a hose. This forces our water pump to run full time and makes sure that we're circulating water in areas that are exposed (near the pump). We had to do this when temps went below 20 degrees for extended periods.
Some tankless heaters have internal anti-freezing functions and self circulate, but this won't save an external water line that is exposed to below freezing temps for long periods of time. PEX handles freezing better than PVC or copper.