Bill Wright
Active member
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2017
- Messages
- 44
Same aisle as the replacement electrical smoke!
Best tool related joke
- Thread starter Shoreline_
- Start date
About 20 years ago the new guy got grandma's old Ford Explorer. Decent ride but the headlights were kinda faded and dim. Being the helpful assholes we were, we told him he needed Halogen headlight fluid to top them up and brighten them up. We stopped 3 places on the way back to the shop that day, and the guy inside just grinned and sent him on his way. 4th shop the guy couldn't stop laughing and the game was over...
Beerhippie
Well-known member
Did you send him to get the board stretcher, too?
Beerhippie
Well-known member
I drove Vanagons for a couple of decades. One of my favorite things--when not in a hurry--was when the gas station attendant-- Millennial or Gen X--would ask if I'd like him to check the oil. Sure, I'd say, and then sit back and watch him try to find the engine....
four.cycle
Well-known member
"best tool related joke" ?
lemme think about this a minute.....
The Scotsman pedalled his bicycle into town one morning and up to the front door of the local pawnbroker's shop.
The Scotsman opened the door, causing the little bell above the door to jingle which caught the attention of the proprietor.
"Aye, Laddie," he said in a deep brogue. "How can we help ye today?"
The Scotsman opened the pouch hanging from his belt and removed a small package, carefully wrapped up in paper.
He set it down and very carefully unwrapped it, reavealing a rolled-up condom inside.
He then unrolled the condom and laid it out flat on the paper.
"Ye see there?" he pointed with his finger. "There's a wee bit of a hole there in the end," he continued in his deep brogue.
"Aye," said the pawnbroker. "So how can I help you?"
"How much to repair it?" asked the Scotsman.
"Three pence," answered the pawnbroker.
"Aye," replied the Scotsman. "And how much for a new one?"
"Six pence," said the pawnbroker.
"Aye," said the Scotsman with a sigh, and he very carefully rolled the condom up, and then carefully wrapped it up with the paper, and then carefully put it into the pouch hanging from his waist.
"We thank ye," the Scotsman said, and then he turned and walked out the door, got back onto his bicycle, and pedalled off.
The following day, the Scotsman pedalled his bicycle back into town, and up to the door of the pawnbroker.
He opened the door and entered, causing the little bell above the door to jingle, which caught the attention of the proprietor.
"Aye," said the pawnbroker. "And how can we help ye today?"
The Scotsman again opened the pouch hanging from his belt and removed the package, carefully wrapped up in paper.
He set it down and very carefully unwrapped it, and in his deep brogue said "The regiment voted to repair it."
lemme think about this a minute.....The Scotsman pedalled his bicycle into town one morning and up to the front door of the local pawnbroker's shop.
The Scotsman opened the door, causing the little bell above the door to jingle which caught the attention of the proprietor.
"Aye, Laddie," he said in a deep brogue. "How can we help ye today?"
The Scotsman opened the pouch hanging from his belt and removed a small package, carefully wrapped up in paper.
He set it down and very carefully unwrapped it, reavealing a rolled-up condom inside.
He then unrolled the condom and laid it out flat on the paper.
"Ye see there?" he pointed with his finger. "There's a wee bit of a hole there in the end," he continued in his deep brogue.
"Aye," said the pawnbroker. "So how can I help you?"
"How much to repair it?" asked the Scotsman.
"Three pence," answered the pawnbroker.
"Aye," replied the Scotsman. "And how much for a new one?"
"Six pence," said the pawnbroker.
"Aye," said the Scotsman with a sigh, and he very carefully rolled the condom up, and then carefully wrapped it up with the paper, and then carefully put it into the pouch hanging from his waist.
"We thank ye," the Scotsman said, and then he turned and walked out the door, got back onto his bicycle, and pedalled off.
The following day, the Scotsman pedalled his bicycle back into town, and up to the door of the pawnbroker.
He opened the door and entered, causing the little bell above the door to jingle, which caught the attention of the proprietor.
"Aye," said the pawnbroker. "And how can we help ye today?"
The Scotsman again opened the pouch hanging from his belt and removed the package, carefully wrapped up in paper.
He set it down and very carefully unwrapped it, and in his deep brogue said "The regiment voted to repair it."