Buying your stuff two times

[J king]

Well just finished my divorce this week. She knew how I loved my garage and machine shop. I guess that was her leverage. I kept the place and all my tools.she really had no idea of tool values so I guess I did ok on them .
Built the place and been working my *** off and putting my heart and soul in this place. It's been my life. I have it and paid for it again tho. ***** but I don't have to start over...well on my tools and machines. I don't have that much life left in me. ***** tho

 

[bazzateer]

Enjoy your freedom. Don't dwell on what's been, look ahead to what's in store!

 

[sublimate]

Congrats.

 

[ddawg16]

We feel your pain. BTDT.

But it sounds like you got off cheaper than a lot of guys.

All I got was my clothes, my jeep and a few hand tools....and all the bills.

 

[Kingcreek]

My divorce from my first wife was expensive.
I would pay twice that much to be rid of her again if I had to.
My biggest fear is that if I die first, my current wife will sell all my stuff for what I told her I paid for it.

 

[48RON54]

Enjoy your freedom. Don't dwell on what's been, look ahead to what's in store!

x 2........ being a divorced man myself....... at some point you will stop dwelling at what all this cost you (both financially and sanity/emotion wise) and start realizing you just got a fresh start and can do whatever the hell you want for awhile. Good times are ahead man. No, life is not fair.... the courts aren't fair...... none of it is fair........

But go have some fun anyway. You deserve it and you earned it.

 

[EOC_Jason]

LOL, all my married friends joke and ask when I'm going to get married and have kids. Then later when their wife is bitching and the kids are running around screaming I just smile and say, "time for me to go home..." Hehehe....

 

[crewchief888]

We feel your pain. BTDT.

But it sounds like you got off cheaper than a lot of guys.

All I got was my clothes, my jeep and a few hand tools....and all the bills.

+1
i too ended up with just my clothes, my tools, my harley, a few guns, an old desktop computer, and my hockey eq.

everything i owned fit in a 17ft uhaul for a 1200 mile trip to get the hell away from her.....

 

[A_Pmech]

Jking,

Sorry to hear about the divorce, but I'm glad to hear you're keeping the shop. You've assembled a VERY nice collection of machines and it would be a shame to scatter them to the winds.

Chin up!

 

[Kevin54]

Quite a few of us have all been there. Thanks to my mom, I didn't have anything to keep other than $40 check stubs after alimony and child support came out. The ex got 100% and then some. I never complained about child support, but alimony.....WTF.

Luckily I met someone that was/is just as hard as worker as I am. Together her and I surpassed anything that we each had hoped for.

Just don't jump from the frying pan into the fire.

I'm really starting to see why guys are marrying guys, and women marrying women, because neither one really gets along with the opposite *** anymore. You hear more about women splitting from women than you do men splitting from men. That just goes to show you that women can't even get along with one another

 

[Lassen Forge]

...Just don't jump from the frying pan into the fire.

+100 on that one! Seen so many guys finally get free from an anchor (or a moocher) just to go out, think with their little head, and get themselves all wrapped up in yet another psycho-b!tc# (there, I said it - and I'm a chick!) and lose it all (or worse) a second (or 3rd, or 4th) time.

There really IS a difference between getting tangled up with a mooching, lying, scheming ripoff artist with ***** (and yes, there are a lot of those out there, guys) who is relying on you thinking with your "little head" and thinking it's love (and going all in on a losing poker hand), and finding someone you really are compatable with who's got enough pride to be able to stand on her own 2 feet.

If I may - look for someone who has enough wherewithal to have her own life, her own (cool) stuff, and who is hesitant to move right on in with you, or you them. And for gods sake give it time... don't bare your soul (and other things --lol--) to the first thing that shakes her ***** at you - they're fishing for that free ride, and hoping you, good looking and successful, will take the bait.

Or, as I overheard one guy friend say to another behind closed doors, "For Gods Sake, Man, don't go out with that (deleted), have some pride in yourself and find someone who has some pride in herself, not just good looks... ".

Now returning to the velveted underground...

 

[atty5420]

Take it from an old divorce lawyer......there is a sure fire way to prevent that problem. Just don't do it. Today, it's not a big deal living together. Why would anybody want to say "I do"? Remember this.....when you stand at that alter, there are three entities present...you, her, and the State of (fill in the blank). That third one will cause more problems than all the "hers" put together. Just say "No", and you'll be fine.

 

[MatBirch]

I lost nearly everything first time around, too. Now with the help of my new bride, (described by Lassen Forge!) we have been able to more than recover, and get to a far better place than I could have ever imagined.
My new attitude with regards to purchasing new toys and tools is- I'd rather have "who" I want than "what" I want. If we don't discuss it, I don't buy it.
Haven't been denied yet!

 

[Throbbin Rods]

I guess I was very lucky. After 30 years we called it quits. I gave her the new car and the checking account. I got the house and the garage and all my stuff. I did all my own paperwork and got out of it for less than $300. We both wanted out so it was easy to negotiate.

 

[TheEquineFencer]

I sold my last ProStreet car and all the extra parts and tools to the buddy that helped me build it for $1000.00, gave her 1/2, then we split up. I had well over $10K in it. Heck I had over $1200.00 in the tires and rims on the rear of it.I walked away from building cars for 20+ years for the most part. He still has the car after 20+ years. I told him I wanted someone to get something good out of this marriage. She wanted 1/2 of everything and then some. I told her all I wanted was my TV, Microwave and Guns I had when we got married, she could have everything else and damn if she didn't want 1/2 of them. Her father finally got her to leave me alone. The G/F I'm living with now is a big step up from what I had. You should see the shop see's built me. When she dies, I get nothing, but at least I know what I'm getting now. I hope she outlives me.

 

[J king]

I did good compared to a lot of people. I don't want to shun the opposite ***. Have a blind date tonite. She seems like a real nice woman from what I can pick up on. She Was working on her 4x4 today that wouldn't engage! Hope she is easy on the eyes. Lol!
Thanks guys. It feels better when your not alone. Been a couple tuff months.

 

[PanelDeland]

I walked away from my first wife with my clothes. I went back and put a starter(that I could finally afford) a week or so later. Did it cost me, yes, do I care, I did at the time, but I realize now, it would have been worth five times what it cost. It cost me more in self esteem because I didn't know better.

10 years later I did it again and it worked well for 10 years and then I lost her to leukemia. That hurt more than any3 divorces.
And 2 years later I did it again. It's going on 20 years and I'm in a better place relationship wise and financially than I have ever been. I don't have everything I want but I have everything I need and I'm smart enough to be grateful for it.
Don't make any serious decisions, or change anything major until you've had time to figure out if you "are" where you want to be. The advice above is also good. Don't follow a fanny back into the hole you just climbed out of. Good luck.

 

[ColinHorgan]

At least you have the workshop you can use whenever you want to? Tough break but keep head held high best of luck

 

[malibu101]

Take it from an old divorce lawyer......there is a sure fire way to prevent that problem. Just don't do it. Today, it's not a big deal living together. Why would anybody want to say "I do"? Remember this.....when you stand at that alter, there are three entities present...you, her, and the State of (fill in the blank). That third one will cause more problems than all the "hers" put together. Just say "No", and you'll be fine.

For health insurance. Seriously.
Maybe taxes too. But I don't know.
My sister got married last year to the guy she's been faithfully living with for over 16 years after he lost his job so he could be on her health insurance.
He's started his own little business and they are doing fine but if he had to pay for his own medical coverage he either could afford not much else besides insurance premiums or if he didn't, he couldn't afford to get sick.

I personally think this is the reason many gay couples wish to be legally married instead of just living faithfully with each other.

 

[orca8589]

I'm not judging anyone here, not saying anyone's right or wrong, this is just my $0.02.

I saw my parents divorce, and the miserable sh!t my dad went through with my mom & her lawyers basically using the state laws to take advantage of him. He later got custody of us kids (which was a good thing - at the time, my mother was unfit in every sense of the word.) However, his second marriage was very rough on us as well.

I swore I'd never get married, EVER. But God had other plans. (Turns out I needed to work out a lot of issues in my own character.) But even today I'm still a big advocate on staying single, depending on the person.

I've been married to a wonderful woman for almost twenty years. We do very well together, and we love each now as much as we did when we got married. I've seen many, MANY marriages disintegrate because neither side would budge on issues they didn't agree on. Wife blames the husband, husband blames the wife, and the truth is usually somewhere right in the middle - but not always.

Lassen Forge described it perfectly.

If we don't discuss it, I don't buy it.

^This. No major purchases for either of us, until it's planned for.

~Chris

 

[Bill Ramsey]

+100 on that one! Seen so many guys finally get free from an anchor (or a moocher) just to go out, think with their little head, and get themselves all wrapped up in yet another psycho-b!tc# (there, I said it - and I'm a chick!) and lose it all (or worse) a second (or 3rd, or 4th) time.

There really IS a difference between getting tangled up with a mooching, lying, scheming ripoff artist with ***** (and yes, there are a lot of those out there, guys) who is relying on you thinking with your "little head" and thinking it's love (and going all in on a losing poker hand), and finding someone you really are compatable with who's got enough pride to be able to stand on her own 2 feet.

If I may - look for someone who has enough wherewithal to have her own life, her own (cool) stuff, and who is hesitant to move right on in with you, or you them. And for gods sake give it time... don't bare your soul (and other things --lol--) to the first thing that shakes her ***** at you - they're fishing for that free ride, and hoping you, good looking and successful, will take the bait.

Or, as I overheard one guy friend say to another behind closed doors, "For Gods Sake, Man, don't go out with that (deleted), have some pride in yourself and find someone who has some pride in herself, not just good looks... ".

Now returning to the velveted underground...

Yep. Good advice. Watched a buddy divorce after 22 years from a wife that let go without giving him serious grief. But then he re-married 20 years younger, had a new baby at 48, now #2 is divorcing him in what's sure to be an ugly affair. Take some time and process it all. Best wishes to you.

 

[Kevin54]

I'm not judging anyone here, not saying anyone's right or wrong, this is just my $0.02.

I saw my parents divorce, and the miserable sh!t my dad went through with my mom & her lawyers basically using the state laws to take advantage of him. He later got custody of us kids (which was a good thing - at the time, my mother was unfit in every sense of the word.) However, his second marriage was very rough on us as well.

I swore I'd never get married, EVER. But God had other plans. (Turns out I needed to work out a lot of issues in my own character.) But even today I'm still a big advocate on staying single, depending on the person.

I've been married to a wonderful woman for almost twenty years. We do very well together, and we love each now as much as we did when we got married. I've seen many, MANY marriages disintegrate because neither side would budge on issues they didn't agree on. Wife blames the husband, husband blames the wife, and the truth is usually somewhere right in the middle - but not always.

Lassen Forge described it perfectly.



^This. No major purchases for either of us, until it's planned for.

~Chris

That's the way it is with the wife and I. We discuss anything and everything, and no large purchases are bought until discussed. Even if going somewhere without the other, we have never stopped the opposite fro going. We never go to bed mad, and we have been married for 24 years. And we each never leave the house without telling the other we love them. In fact, we have never been in an argument yet.

I had an eye on my wife 9 years before we got married, but never spoke to her. I had only been working at the shop for a couple months, and watched her walk past the window of our department. At the time I was working in the Model Shop making prototypes, and she ended up in our department doing the assembly portion.

Fast forward 9 years later, we started talking. I'd be working over in the evenings and so was she. She was telling me about her abusive boyfriend, and I was telling her about my ****** go nowhere marriage. She said if I ever needed a place to stay, to call her. I went home and told y wife I wanted a divorce. I had actually caught my ex with someone a couple years prior.

I packed my **** up, stayed with a friend that night, and the next day I asked this girl if she was serious. She said she was, and I told her I had moved out. Within a week, I asked her that as soon as I was officially divorced, if she would marry me. She said Yes. About 7 months later, we went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee and got married in a Feed Mill. It's been fantastic ever since.

 

[Tarheelgarage]

That's the way it is with the wife and I. We discuss anything and everything, and no large purchases are bought until discussed. Even if going somewhere without the other, we have never stopped the opposite fro going. We never go to bed mad, and we have been married for 24 years. And we each never leave the house without telling the other we love them. In fact, we have never been in an argument yet.

I had an eye on my wife 9 years before we got married, but never spoke to her. I had only been working at the shop for a couple months, and watched her walk past the window of our department. At the time I was working in the Model Shop making prototypes, and she ended up in our department doing the assembly portion.

Fast forward 9 years later, we started talking. I'd be working over in the evenings and so was she. She was telling me about her abusive boyfriend, and I was telling her about my ****** go nowhere marriage. She said if I ever needed a place to stay, to call her. I went home and told y wife I wanted a divorce. I had actually caught my ex with someone a couple years prior.

I packed my **** up, stayed with a friend that night, and the next day I asked this girl if she was serious. She said she was, and I told her I had moved out. Within a week, I asked her that as soon as I was officially divorced, if she would marry me. She said Yes. About 7 months later, we went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee and got married in a Feed Mill. It's been fantastic ever since.

You would have been in some serious **** if she had replied " I was only kidding you"......

 

[overkill 19]

Just don't jump from the frying pan into the fire.



I'm really starting to see why guys are marrying guys, and women marrying women, because neither one really gets along with the opposite *** anymore. You hear more about women splitting from women than you do men splitting from men. That just goes to show you that women can't even get along with one another

I totally agree!!! I'd marry two lesbians !

 

[skyking]

I have been married 41 years. Would you guys tell me what the main reasons for divorce is.I seriously would like to hear. Please dont offer if you have not been divorced.

 

[Jinks]

I have been married 41 years. Would you guys tell me what the main reasons for divorce is.I seriously would like to hear. Please dont offer if you have not been divorced.

In order: Money, Fidelity, Attitude. My first wife failed #'s 1 & 3. By the time we divorced I didn't care about #2. First marriage was back when you could "kite" checks, & my first wife made Ben Franklin look like an amateur. I'd straighten the check book out & in 2 - 3 months she'd be kiting checks again! ****, she did it with a ****** attitude........

Divorced, lost everything but my clothes, a van, & a motorcycle but it was great to be free!

A couple of years later I took an acquaintance skydiving & watched him break his leg. A few days later on the way to dinner with a date I stopped by his hospital room. He was nasty, but there was a cute blonde in the room that he never introduced. A week later I ran into her & some friends at a local watering hole. That was 38 years ago. I never talked to the guy with the broken leg again, but I stole his girl & life has been great ever since.

 

[Tarheelgarage]

I have been married 41 years. Would you guys tell me what the main reasons for divorce is.I seriously would like to hear. Please dont offer if you have not been divorced.

1. Money: writing bad checks; buying stuff with no means to pay for it and it not needed. Me working my *** off to pay all the daym bills.
2. Lazy/attitude: Sitting on *** with nasty house and piles of dishes all around; not lifting a daym finger to give a hand
3. Whoring around (nuff said)
4. Adopting weird religious beliefs and expecting me to toe-the-line with said beliefs or I was a heathen.

 

[crewchief888]

I have been married 41 years. Would you guys tell me what the main reasons for divorce is.I seriously would like to hear. Please dont offer if you have not been divorced.

was married 17 years, ex turned to large amounts of alcohol, and continuously started arguments over petty things.

the day she started to pull a gun on me,

that nearly ended her life.

we split 3 weeks later.

that was 16 years ago, havent seen her, talked to her, or had an email from her since.

hope she turned her life around

 

[bobbycos]

1. Money: writing bad checks; buying stuff with no means to pay for it and it not needed. Me working my *** off to pay all the daym bills.
2. Lazy/attitude: Sitting on *** with nasty house and piles of dishes all around; not lifting a daym finger to give a hand
3. Whoring around (nuff said)
4. Adopting weird religious beliefs and expecting me to toe-the-line with said beliefs or I was a heathen.

#2 or 3 or 4 and i would be out like a flash

 

[Randy in Maine]

Me: When I die, I don't want you to marry some ******* that will use all of my tools.

Her: What make you think I would marry another *******?

 

[Danver]

I have been married 41 years. Would you guys tell me what the main reasons for divorce is.I seriously would like to hear. Please dont offer if you have not been divorced.

Me: Knew I was with the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Spent all of my time and efforts trying to make sure that everything would eventually fall into place for us to have a happy tomorrow and kind of forgot that we also needed to be happy today.

Her: Got tired of waiting for tomorrow. Found someone who made her happy today while I was busy focusing on tomorrow.

Tough lesson to learn for me.

 

[bazzateer]

1. Money: writing bad checks; buying stuff with no means to pay for it and it not needed. Me working my *** off to pay all the daym bills.
2. Lazy/attitude: Sitting on *** with nasty house and piles of dishes all around; not lifting a daym finger to give a hand
3. Whoring around (nuff said)
4. Adopting weird religious beliefs and expecting me to toe-the-line with said beliefs or I was a heathen.

My Ex- was no1 and no3 above. No1 was a pain, no2 was the final straw.

 

[skyking]

My Ex- was no1 and no3 above. No1 was a pain, no2 was the final straw.

Thanks guys. I get tired of mine ,but it comes and goes .......and she did not make the list provided.

 

[LS6 Tommy]

I don't know why so many get divorced these days. I've been with the same girl for 20 years & if my wife ever finds out she'll kill me.

Seriously, my wife and I dated for 10 years & married for 20.

It's been the 7 best years of my life...

I love it when I get an excuse to use those jokes.

Tommy

 

[EOC_Jason]

the day she started to pull a gun on me,

that nearly ended her life.

I know a couple where the husband was Army Ranger LSRD, did competition shooting, etc, etc... Wife was an interpreter for the Navy Seals, also does competition shooting, etc, etc... I've always wondered if they got in a shooting match, who would win....

 

[inphx]

if you want some support or tips to avoid the pain tune in for a week or two of http://blowmeuptom.com/

 

[waggie]

Me: Knew I was with the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Spent all of my time and efforts trying to make sure that everything would eventually fall into place for us to have a happy tomorrow and kind of forgot that we also needed to be happy today.

Her: Got tired of waiting for tomorrow. Found someone who made her happy today while I was busy focusing on tomorrow.

Tough lesson to learn for me.

you know, things have a way of working itself out. I'm sure your efforts weren't wasted. I know mine didn't.

I got divorced for the same exact reason. I was on a 10 year-long plan to make it so that we would be able to live very comfortably by working part time, or basically, retire. She just had to live in the moment, so six years into the marriage, we got a divorce. That didn't change my plan. Everything DID ended up falling into place, just like I planned and I ended up meeting my goal two years early. Also, since now I have one less mouth to feed, effectively, I doubled my money by getting a divorce

As for the divorce, I kept all my tools, kept my dogs, kept my house, too.

She now gets to go out very often, you know, to local bars and restaurants.

I book one way tickets for vacations abroad once a year, then book the return flight when I miss my tools too much. Yeah, my plan worked.

J King, it's all up hills from here! You've been beaten down, but it's all gonna get better. You'll see.

 

[Justanoldguy]

Built the place and been working my *** off and putting my heart and soul in this place......

My mate (who was divorced recently) said, that is the very reason the divorce happened.
He had given NOTHING to his wife.

 

[Roady94]

Garage Journal . . .

The place where you can learn to fix everything, including a broken heart.

Can a repair for the crack of dawn be far behind?

 

[Skeetobite]

I have been married 41 years. Would you guys tell me what the main reasons for divorce is.I seriously would like to hear. Please dont offer if you have not been divorced.

First wife had a back problem. She couldn't stay off of it.