My wild goose chase is over... I started at my local Home Depot. They had two of these boxes this weekend, but they were long gone. So, I then went to the Home Depot about 15 miles away. They had one and I bought it, only to notice it was all kinds of fucked up - paint chips, dents, etc... So, I turned around and returned it after being denied a discount.
On to my next Home Depot.
I braved the traffic in Austin and went right to the center of town where I found them entirely out as well... I asked the manager if he could check stock at the local stores and mentioned they had a beat up one in the back that he would sell me cheap. I took a look and both bottom drawers were bashed in.
For $150 plus the king's tax, I accepted the challenge. I figured I might be able to fix the drawers and if not, I could do something weird to replace them. The money was just too good.
On the way home, I stopped by a buddy's shop that does paintless dent repair hoping to get some pointers. Instead, he just fix em both. Took all of ten minutes... and now, I have my ****** 3D printer tool box for pretty dang cheap!