The diesel (or gasoline for that matter) won't do much harm to the asphalt as long as you just let it sit there and evaporate. When it seems to be all dried out, give it a good scrub with a low sudsing laundry detergent. Most laundry detergent is pretty good at cleaning driveways and you won't be there for 2 hours trying to hose away all of the suds.
Coating the driveway once you have it clean will certainly make the color uniform again and it often can help with a surface where some of the asphalt is worn away. Do let the spill evaporate before you try anything. A pressure washer on a fresh petroleum distillate spill is a sure fire way to disassemble that driveway in a hurry.
I know it sounds hack but I tell myself every year that I'm going to sealcoat the driveway, so, I pay no attention to the brakekleen, gasoline, oil or any number of solvents that get spilled, splashed, leaked or otherwise "applied" to the surface. Well, thats been going in for about 30 years now :0 and outside of the blotchiness, the driveway is no worse for the wear, no loose aggregate no holes, no problems. I will admit thart a nice seal coat would do wonders for the color but the stuff itself has held up remarkably well.