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Comical tool reviews on online stores

YesIHaveAHammer

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Joined
Jun 1, 2025
Messages
842
I often take a look at the 1-3 star reviews before buying something. Amazon is good, but I usually buy elsewhere. Because amongst people who bought the wrong tool, didn't know how to use it, or didn't check what size it was - you sometimes get a useful review from someone who's actually discerning or has put the tool through heavy use.

But some of them are quite funny too. Seen any good ones to share?
  • Dead blow hammer review #1 - one star, "is full of sand".
  • Dead blow hammer review #2 - four stars, "works well but only partially filled with sand".
  • Plastic razor scraper - one star, "razor blade in scraper, but spare ones are made of plastic".
 
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SusKatCas

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Joined
Oct 22, 2021
Messages
83
Amazon, Summit Racing, Google Maps, Eastwood, eBay etc. I usually find the 3&4 star reviews to be the most useful.

5 star reviews appear to be written by shills and fan boys.
1 star reviews are often written by people who either:
- didn't know what they were buying,
- didn't read the directions, or
- have a random axe to grind.

Cheers, Alan
 

kaymccampbell

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Joined
Feb 27, 2015
Messages
29,529
Location
Upstate New York
Most all the stuff in the lower ratings is complete stupidity. Package was late, package was damaged, something stupid.
Every time I've been tempted to leave a ****** review, I write the vendor, and they've made it right or refunded my money. Then depending on my experience, I write a review that includes details.
 

shoggoth80

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Joined
Feb 28, 2013
Messages
858
Location
Seattle
Like others, I find the mid reviews more useful. Those tend to be from folks who put some use into the tool, and some thought into what they're saying. I've seen five star reviews where the person hasn't even used the thing yet. Totally useless for a utilitarian item. I do check the poor reviews to look for Instances of failure. Occasionally you'll find some where the tool couldn't even complete a job. Then it's check other reviews to see if it's common.
 

jmdirk

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Joined
May 4, 2015
Messages
706
Like others, I find the mid reviews more useful. Those tend to be from folks who put some use into the tool, and some thought into what they're saying. I've seen five star reviews where the person hasn't even used the thing yet. Totally useless for a utilitarian item. I do check the poor reviews to look for Instances of failure. Occasionally you'll find some where the tool couldn't even complete a job. Then it's check other reviews to see if it's common.
I think that's often some technically illiterate person who gets the post sale email asking them to review the product, which they haven't even used yet, but since they were asked for a review, they give one. "Haven't used it, but looks great. 5 stars"
 

shoggoth80

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2013
Messages
858
Location
Seattle
I think that's often some technically illiterate person who gets the post sale email asking them to review the product, which they haven't even used yet, but since they were asked for a review, they give one. "Haven't used it, but looks great. 5 stars"
Very possible, but not worth the space it's written on 🤣
 

Ohio Andy

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Joined
Jul 31, 2024
Messages
2,304
Location
Columbus, Ohio
Most all the stuff in the lower ratings is complete stupidity. Package was late, package was damaged, something stupid.
Every time I've been tempted to leave a ****** review, I write the vendor, and they've made it right or refunded my money. Then depending on my experience, I write a review that includes details.

On Amazon,
I used to write detailed reviews with pictures... And from what I can gather, an AI decided my reviews were too detailed to be real and I was banned and all my reviews were dropped and I cannot review anymore.... And I only reviewed items I bought on Amazon.

I was very careful to be high on facts and low on opinions and any links stayed on Amazon.

We apologize but Amazon has noticed some unusual reviewing activity on this account. As a result, all reviews submitted by this account have been removed and this account will no longer be able to contribute reviews and other content on Amazon. For more information or to contact us, please see our community guidelines.
 

kaymccampbell

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2015
Messages
29,529
Location
Upstate New York
On Amazon,
I used to write detailed reviews with pictures... And from what I can gather, an AI decided my reviews were too detailed to be real and I was banned and all my reviews were dropped and I cannot review anymore.... And I only reviewed items I bought on Amazon.

I was very careful to be high on facts and low on opinions and any links stayed on Amazon.

We apologize but Amazon has noticed some unusual reviewing activity on this account. As a result, all reviews submitted by this account have been removed and this account will no longer be able to contribute reviews and other content on Amazon. For more information or to contact us, please see our community guidelines.
Luckily mine aren't that detailed. There's enough content for the next victim to know enough to purchase or not
 

CGT80

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Joined
Aug 29, 2014
Messages
864
Location
IE, SoCal, USA
I have replied to comments on youtube with technical information typed just from memory and people accused me of being AI. There are so many dumb people that they are not used to real people who know how things actually work, who can type out good responses and counter points. Of course, if it goes against what they have been brainwashed into believing, then it has to be fake and AI.

With AI and bots or paid fake reviews, which I have found on Amazon, people don't know what to believe and even smart people don't know if something simple is computer generated or a person actually having a conversation or trying to give good feedback.
 
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RoninB4

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Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
3,564
Location
Under My House
-I read the reviews too but always try to keep in mind:

1) Do they have the same product expectations I do or is this their first time using that type of product?

2) The definition of what a "shill" is. Much like reviews in magazines you have to ask yourself "Who bought lunch that day?"

3) Everything works (sorta..) when new so what about long term use?
 
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