Yesterday was one year since I handed in my resignation at work.
And what an emotional day it was. I remember the sheer nervousness of walking back in after 3-months away, standing up like a man and facing what I had feared for far, far too long. People say "we set the standard for how we want to be treated", well that was me setting a new personal standard. Following that, a massive wave of emotion that hit me, a sense of relief mixed with terror and an empty numbness. That afternoon, Faych and I went for a walk around our favourite track, me with a sense of freedom, Faych just happy to be with his human. And that became our new routine.
Looking back, I was not a nice person to be around, at work or at home. I knew that then, but I know it even more now. I've also had 12-months to reflect on what I had achieved there, and what I think I could have achieved if given the opportunity. But I've also reflected on what I did wrong, what I wasn't good at, and how the pressure of the situation created a monster. It was a chicken and egg scenario, who did what to who first, second, third..............last. I knew my faults and made them known, but they were always right, never wrong, never apologized when it was warranted.
And it would appear they have learnt nothing over the last year. I'm still having to console my 2IC after being treated unfairly. I also the other day discovered some extremely disturbing Google reviews that single out one of the owners by name and made some pretty serious accusations. Of course, there is always two sides to every story, but working with these people for 20-years, I have little reason to doubt what was being said. All things considered, there is STILL a massive sense of arrogance, hubris and self-righteousness, and a complete lack of communication skill going on with these people.
I keep getting people ask me "don't you miss it?". I miss the creativity and plant side of the business. However, I DO NOT miss being the whipping boy, the scape goat for the internal family frustrations, the constant stream of negativity, and the unrealistic expectations as to what I and other staff were willing or able to do. I don't miss being phoned on my only day off to report to work with 15-minutes notice. I don't miss being made an example of in front of my fellow colleagues'. I don't miss having to buy my own tools or use my own vehicle to benefit their business, then get attitude when I ask for those things instead of using my own. I don't miss having my positive or negative feedback ignored. I don't miss having my "quirks" used against (we all have them). But most of all, I don't miss having my hard work thrown back in my face or being taken advantage of in terms of my 150% work ethic.
It's quite telling that I was eventually replaced by not one, but two new staff members. Clearly, I was doing the work of two people.............on one wage. I ruffled feathers when I said this at the time, but you get very little back from doing more than 100% at work..........................just a whole lot of expectation and entitlement. Do your job, do it well, but don't go over and above, especially in a family business. A dear old college once said to me, "there are no gold watches being handed out here..................." Turns out she was correct.
With 100% no doubt or regret, I absolutely do not miss being there................who would?
And what an emotional day it was. I remember the sheer nervousness of walking back in after 3-months away, standing up like a man and facing what I had feared for far, far too long. People say "we set the standard for how we want to be treated", well that was me setting a new personal standard. Following that, a massive wave of emotion that hit me, a sense of relief mixed with terror and an empty numbness. That afternoon, Faych and I went for a walk around our favourite track, me with a sense of freedom, Faych just happy to be with his human. And that became our new routine.
Looking back, I was not a nice person to be around, at work or at home. I knew that then, but I know it even more now. I've also had 12-months to reflect on what I had achieved there, and what I think I could have achieved if given the opportunity. But I've also reflected on what I did wrong, what I wasn't good at, and how the pressure of the situation created a monster. It was a chicken and egg scenario, who did what to who first, second, third..............last. I knew my faults and made them known, but they were always right, never wrong, never apologized when it was warranted.
And it would appear they have learnt nothing over the last year. I'm still having to console my 2IC after being treated unfairly. I also the other day discovered some extremely disturbing Google reviews that single out one of the owners by name and made some pretty serious accusations. Of course, there is always two sides to every story, but working with these people for 20-years, I have little reason to doubt what was being said. All things considered, there is STILL a massive sense of arrogance, hubris and self-righteousness, and a complete lack of communication skill going on with these people.
I keep getting people ask me "don't you miss it?". I miss the creativity and plant side of the business. However, I DO NOT miss being the whipping boy, the scape goat for the internal family frustrations, the constant stream of negativity, and the unrealistic expectations as to what I and other staff were willing or able to do. I don't miss being phoned on my only day off to report to work with 15-minutes notice. I don't miss being made an example of in front of my fellow colleagues'. I don't miss having to buy my own tools or use my own vehicle to benefit their business, then get attitude when I ask for those things instead of using my own. I don't miss having my positive or negative feedback ignored. I don't miss having my "quirks" used against (we all have them). But most of all, I don't miss having my hard work thrown back in my face or being taken advantage of in terms of my 150% work ethic.
It's quite telling that I was eventually replaced by not one, but two new staff members. Clearly, I was doing the work of two people.............on one wage. I ruffled feathers when I said this at the time, but you get very little back from doing more than 100% at work..........................just a whole lot of expectation and entitlement. Do your job, do it well, but don't go over and above, especially in a family business. A dear old college once said to me, "there are no gold watches being handed out here..................." Turns out she was correct.
With 100% no doubt or regret, I absolutely do not miss being there................who would?
Me? Give me the black ones, the chrome looks tacky. 
