DIY disasters

[48RON54]

That last one rings a bell - not sure how or why basement ended up flooded but remember days of trying to pump and dry things out after room flooded

That second ex wife (the one the door fell on) was the ultimate scud when it came to any repairs being done within a mile radius of her - I've still tendon damage on left hand from replacing radiator hose on lincoln, even brakes redone by professionals would fail within half hour, pipes would burst immediately before trip from NJ to VT for skiing trip, her kids would flush toys (and everything else - still got scarred fingertips from flushed and then broken light bulbs) down toilets, decks would rot, everything metal would rust, lights and fuses would blow, trees would die and blow down, etc, etc, etc.

I'm glad I'm divorced and 7,000 miles away from her and thankfully she doesn't know where or have a phone number - I was her second (ex) husband - I think the last I heard she was onto husband number five - I wonder why?

chris

Whew! I sure hope she at least swallowed!

 

[48RON54]

6.) A coworker said to take ASE tests, they would sponsor my race car. Cool, no problem, took a bunch of them. I was working on ex's blazer, brakes squeak. Never could get the squeak out. She got home before me one day, calls me at work and says she figured out what was wrong with her brakes. I'm thinking, she must have taken it somewhere. She says, I just got the results of your ASE tests in the mail and you failed brakes! (I failed the part on ABS, passed it the next time. We split, and now she has to pay a mechanic, I think my skills are more appreciated.)

That is one of the main reasons I cringe when someone wants me to do their brakes for them......there is always that outside possibility that no matter what i do they will squeek and the owner of the car (usually a single mom) will be unhappy with them.

 

[b-body-bob]

I cut the supply line to a HWT on the wrong side of the shut off. While I'm standing there with my thumb over the end of the pipe and my BIL rummages around for his meter key to turn off the water, I notice the electrical outlet right next to me. Yells of "hurry up I'm drowning" turned into "hurry up I'm gonna get electrocuted".

 

[jchetty]

I picked up my used X5. First thing I decided to do was swap out all the oil. Now, this ***** has a lot of oil in it. 10 liters in the engine, 5 each drain and fill of trans, both diffs, transfer case. I get it up on ramps, all 4 wheels. Wow, it is so high up, I can use my old 5 gal oil drain bucket (compound bucket). I use that to drain my funnels, and catch cans into. So yea. Started this whole process late in the day. About 4-5pm. It was getting late already as I just finished buttoning everything up. Checked all the levels, plugs everything. Car on, no errors. Great start cleaning up. I grab my corded extension light, and pull it out. ****, it seems to be stuck on some ****. I don't even bother bending over to look what it got hung up on. I gave it a manly tug, and instantly went pale. I just flipped over that 5 gal bucket of oil in my garage. Ran out of sand, rags real quick. I was so soaked in oil, sacrificing my clothes to stop the oil flood was a no-brainer at that point. Went upstairs naked at around 2 am. Wife thought I was mugged. Spent the next 2 days washing the floor a million times. Slippery tile could not even begin to describe it.

Thanks for the story. That is one of the best I have ever heard.

 

[Morrison]

Whew! I sure hope she at least swallowed!

If that much **** broke around her I wouldn't put my **** in her mouth!

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[threeputt]

This was not exactly a DIY disaster but close. I went to work for my Dad in his auto and truck shop the week after I got out of the Air Force in late 1970. I had grew up working in a shop and I knew my way around I thought One of the first jobs I was assigned was grinding the valves on a ford truck with a 330 engine I think. Anyway I got the heads removed and my brother refreshed me on grinding the valves with our machine. I got everything completed and was finishing up . I begin to put all the tools away and noticed the drop light I was using would not come out from under the hood. I got to looking and I had replaced the head with the light cord under it. Good thing it was not plugged in. My brother had a fit but I removed the left head and re-used the gasket and all was good. What a dummy I was when I was young.

 

[WVBrady]

A few years ago my brother and I were replacing some of the sheathing on the roof of my old garage. We had an air nailer and a roofing nailer. After we had nailed down the last 4x8 sheet, the roofing nailer was nowhere to be seen. We had a little conference and figured which sheet it was probably under. Fortunately we guessed right.

 

[Vegaman_Dan]

Digging a trench to install a new septic system for a mobile on some property with my father and grandfather. All manual labor in the hot sun. We had the pipe laid out, but nothing connected yet- just the pipe from the house ending in the trench for the moment as we were still digging.

Grandfather takes a break goes inside and... with the sound of a *kerflush* coming from the pipe, we scrambled out of the ditch. Grandfather comes out wanting to know why we're laughing so loud when we point to his 'contribution' to the project at the end of the pipe.

 

[Shoester]

Digging a trench to install a new septic system for a mobile on some property with my father and grandfather. All manual labor in the hot sun. We had the pipe laid out, but nothing connected yet- just the pipe from the house ending in the trench for the moment as we were still digging.

Grandfather takes a break goes inside and... with the sound of a *kerflush* coming from the pipe, we scrambled out of the ditch. Grandfather comes out wanting to know why we're laughing so loud when we point to his 'contribution' to the project at the end of the pipe.

Damn you, I got funny looks from my cubicle-neighbors for busting our laughing

 

[ronr80]

I'm in I have a fairly large slot car track in my basement and was installing new lights for the track , lights on a chain so I screwed the chain to a piece of strapping on the ceiling and never seen the copper pipe behing the wood, so I'm standing on the track table with an ice cooler trying to catch the water spraying out of this pipe yelling to my wife to shut off the water, and of course she does not know where the shut off is , anyways , she called me an IDIOT , saved the track and fixed the pipe and I have lights . Ron

 

[slickgt1]

My introduction to electricity is something I will never forget. My father in law's father, is old. He was an electrician back in Russia. Became a nice one in America. Did everything else imaginable with wiring, alternator spool fixing, all that annoying ****. What I came to realize, is that he had a ghetto *** no fear of it. Like zero. For some odd reason, he is able to touch live wires and not get messed up. He says it tickles.

So, this is while I was green, first major reno. I get stuck with this insane electrician to clean up a wiring mess in the basement. Multi family house, where the wiring from one meter was going to the wrong floor. Yea, it took us (errr him) a week to clean up.

So he disconnect a Bx, grabs the wires, says, ok make this ***** shorter right here. I grab the Bx, whip out my gangsta huge *** cutters, and bite in. SHHHHHHHRAKAKAKAKAKABOOOOM. Yep, that was me shitting my self. The room filled with smoke, the cutters melted, my right arm is numb and tingling, my nuts sucked into my neck. I was pretty sure I felt balls when I turned my head.

Well, I only helped him for about 20 min, then I refused to work on electricity unless I verified every wire, and better yet, the main was off, panel shut, and locked with the only keys in my sock.

 

[TheEquineFencer]

I just for this tread, O BOY where do I start? I was working at Ryder Truck Rental years ago. I got a call, the truck I just rented out of Apex has run hot. I asked if there was a water leak, Answer, no, because there's not a radiator in the truck. OK, I think, this guys an idiot, I ask again, he asked if I could understand plain English. I said yes, he again said, there's a not a radiator, what's so hard to understand about that? I got directions, he was about 100 miles from the shop it came from. I got there and guess what there wasn't a radiator in the truck. Turns out, when the truck came in, the fuel island guy found a leak, sidelined the truck, the shop pulled it and parked it outside. The rental agent knew the truck had come in earlier and didn't know the radiator was out and rented it out. DT-466, cracked head, 6 pistons and sleeves smeared with metal. It get's better, we towed it to our shop and did an in frame over haul. The "T-4 "Master Mechanic" did the job and found (6) 4-6 inch long bolts on his work bench when he finished and could not figure where they went. Road tested OK. So he put the truck out to be rented. It sat for four weeks or so on the yard moving only to be washed. It was rented out and made it almost to Sharpsburg, 20 miles up the road, the fan hub went through the brand new radiator. But wait, it gets better, I replaced the fan hub and radiator, by now it was on the home shops PM run and they wanted it serviced, so I did a PM. The boss was in a hurry for it so I rushed as fast as I could. It made it to the far side of Rocky Mount when the engine lost oil pressure and spun all the bearings. The "O" rings had stuck to the filter head and I stuck the new filters on and tightened them. I guess when the "O" rings got hot they blew out. I've always checked that sealing surface from then on.

 

[TheEquineFencer]

The same T-4 mechanic above was told to help me install Winter Fronts on the front of the 4070B model IH road tractors. I started to tell him how I did it and was quickly informed he knew how to do it. About 10 minutes later I hear a loud hissing sound, turn and see Marvin holding his finger and ask if he's OK? What'd you do mash your finger? Turns out he didn't notice when you drill through the front of the cab for mounting the snaps the vinyl cover snaps to, there's a Freon drier right behind it. He drilled through it at the very bottom where it was full of liquid Freon. When he heard the leak and pulled his drill back, the Freon sprayed out the hole he'd made. So Mr. Dutch Boy sticks his finger in the dike. Yep, Freon burned finger tip. This is the same guy that ran out of staples putting papers up on a bulletin board, flipped the top up, reloaded and yes,CLOSED THE TOP WITH HIS THUMB AND AND INDEX FINGER! As he was standing there with this staple stuck up in his thumb, I said let me see it. I snatched the staple out before he knew what I was doing.

 

[ZRX61]

An old acquaintance of mine was a dandy. He went to an auction once to buy a Jeep, and ended up buying the house.

Went to buy a pair of side covers for my wifes '78 KZ1000 one time. Ended up buying the guy out & it took 5 trips in my F350 crewcab dually to bring everything home, including filling the back seat with parts.....

.....two weeks before moving into a new home, so it all got moved twice that month.

Not sure how many bikes there were in total, but there was a KZ1000, KZ650, KZ550, 250-F4, CB750 F2, CL350 (x2), SL350 (x2), CB360, CB77, CB72, Yam DT-1, IT250, XT500, XT550, RD350, Suz RM80 & 3 Bultacos among the pile.

Paid $1000 for the lot. Made $700 back on parts from the CB750 F2.

 

[aka Larry]

Had a friend who decided to do a flush-n-fill of the cooling system on his wife's minivan. The directions told him to install the port into the existing hose, so he cut the hose, installed the port, connected the garden hose to the fitting, and turned on the water. When he tried to start the engine it wouldn't run. He finally decided to stop and ask his neighbor for help. The neighbor came over and discovered he had installed the port into the vacuum line on the brake booster! Even though he basically hydrolocked the engine, they removed the spark plugs and turned it over to see water shoot out of the cylinders like geyser. He put it back together, had it towed to the dealership the next day, and they replaced the engine under warranty. Yes, he was one dumb, but lucky SOB.

 

[Falcon67]

Have a picture somewhere but can't find it. In the ex house, there used to be a masonite duct that ran though the attic from a swamp cooler that was mounted on the back of the house. Over time and after some previous owner installed central heat/air, most of the ducting and the swamper were removed. In the process of our rewiring and generally cleaning up the attic space, I removed the rest of it, including the last section over the back bedroom that led to the hole in the gable. Target was to remove the junk and re-side that part of the gable and make it all look good. I cut away most of the pieces of the duct but the bottom of this short section refused to move. I gave it one hell of a yank and by God I got it out. However, now I could see the bed from the attic. Turns out there was an old air duct under that section that was nailed to the bedroom ceiling. It had been drywall/puttied over and spackled and never knew it was there. "So he-man, now what?" The new hole was about 6x12", so I went and bought a grill, some 6" flex duct and a galvanized Y and added a new air duct in the bedroom. Actually helped because the room was 18x21, pretty big for a single 6" duct in one corner.

 

[Wamerjamer]

"daft cow" , lots of Mr. Dutch boys, you guys are cracking me up.
Randy

 

[mrpizza]

I have drilled a small hole in my left thigh. Shoulda used a vise!

 

[Vegaman_Dan]

I have drilled a small hole in my left thigh. Shoulda used a vise!

Yeah, those thighs get awfully wriggly when drilling them without a vise.

 

[Taildragger]

I have drilled a small hole in my left thigh. Shoulda used a vise!

I almost beat you on that one. I was drilling a piece of sheet metal on my lap. ( smart guy huh?) Went through the metal, jeans, and boxers. luckily the drill had reversing, and I GINGERLY backed the bit up. Immediately dropped trou to survey the damage. Whew, the bunching up of the jeans and boxers had left the bit just enough oomph to give my ********* a twirl. A little bit of skin, but no blood. Talk about being relieved! Yes, I use a vise or a clamp now..

 

[Hawk]

Holding a router upside down between my legs, tried to use the base as a table for Just One Cut that I had missed. Luckily just nicked the end of a finger.

 

[48RON54]

The talk of the drill bit in the thigh story reminded me of a couple others........ both painting related....

1. I was attempting to cut some cardboard pieces with a box cutter. The idea was to use them so I didn't get paint on the ceiling while cutting in a room instead of spending an hour taping it off. Well, the cardboard was in my lap and the razor blade was not exactly going through like butter. So what do you do? add more pressure of course! Eventually the cardboard gave up and the razor went through the rest of it like it was butter. Then it went into my thigh. I was still in a bit of disbelief until i stood up and felt the blood running down my thigh. I still have a scar that looks like an eyeball on my leg from that one. Thankfully I didn't cut anything of importance.

2. I was trying to remove the roller pad from a roller. It had sat for a week or so and was glued on there pretty good with the paint. Rather than doing anything smart like tapping the roller on something to help free it up, I just kept pulling. I sat down, firmly held the pad between my legs and started pulling on the roller with all my might. Eventually they seperated. But, I had been pulling with such force that the roller and my hands sprung back into my face when it finally came free. The metal part of the roller went through my lip. Of course, there also was still wet white paint involved as well. When I got the the ER every nurse and dr made sure to swing by my room to see the guy who had attempted to stem the blood flow with white house paint. I felt like such an idiot and nobody at the ER believed my story lol.

 

[48RON54]

My stories seem lame compared to the "gave my ballsack a twirl" story LMAO

I'm almost ashamed I bothered to share them after the ballsack bit lol

 

[Lassen Forge]

Stupid kid story... I was young, and the rotor of my motorcycle's rear wheel was scored pretty bad from a lack of timely brake puck change. Figured I'd save some time and money and take it down with a file with the bike running and in gear. After all, what could go wrong?

I still have a scar in my left palm - about halfway down, in line with my pinky, where the tang decided to give me a "stigmata" when the file caught the spokes of the wheel, shattered it quite nicely, and propelled itself backwards. Also broke my thumb and dislocated my index. I consider myself damned lucky I could use it after it all healed.

At least the bike wasn't hurt - actually it was still running, tire spinning merrily, as if nothing had happened.

 

[KRB52]

Replacing most of the bathroom floor in a house we were renting since it was rotted around the toilet. Half the floor is cut up and I'm going easy- basic tools, basic skills and I didn't want to get in over my head. I had one piece that I had cut and was now prying up from the basement. Got it free and my wife is holding it in the bathroom above me. One of the kids asked her something, she became distracted and forgot to hold the 20-30 pound hunk of flooring we had just taken out. Lightly grazed my shoulder and banged off the dryer, putting a dent in the edge of the top front. I started the project about 10:00 Saturday morning and didn't get the flooring in and toilet back until about 2:00 am Sunday.

 

[Robbo]

......drill.... ********* a twirl....

Close the thread... He wins the DIY disaster award!


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[mechanicalmoron]

For every big thing I've done, I've screwed up at LEAST that many big things.

I won't talk about why my engine burns a quart per hundred miles. Of 50wt. With thickener. But, I'll talk about my brakes.

I had a leaky caliper - thought I'd re-seal it. Used standard brake grease on the rubber. Worked for a day or so, then began dumping fluid, required constant topping off and I always had squishy brakes, because that line was literally empty it was such a bad leak. Replaced the caliper with a free one from the internet - but it was crusty and had no boot, so I took out the piston, and swapped over the previous seal, thinking the piston had been the problem. Leaked again.

Apparently, silglide is NOT compatable with my brakes rubber, or with the rebuild seals - I went back and re-examined the old seals recently, and found them considerably smaller than they started. I just put in the original caliper, with used seals off yet another used caliper - with expensive pure silicone/ceramic grease. We'll see how it goes.

On the up-side, I'm getting pretty fast. The first time it was an all day affair, this time it took longer to get the car on stands, than to do the whole rebuilding/swapping process.

Third time's a charm?

 

[CJM8515]

Hmm I got a few good ones:

1. I was cutting up cardboard while kneeling and had started with a brand new blade in the knife. Well I miscalculated and kept going down a box and cut my thigh. It didnt really bleed that much but no matter how I tried the wound wouldnt stay closed. Went to the ER for 3 stitches.

2. Was working with a buddy cutting down a tree at a customers house. I dont do this professionally and was just helping him out just he and I. Im busy dragging the branches to the road (town takes them) and chopping them up to be no more than 3 feet per the home owner as thats what town will take. Had previously helped my buddy do tree work before but had always WISELY taken my work gloves off when using a machete to chop the small limbs. Left the gloves on and whacked my left shin by accident. The hole int he jeans wasnt to bad so I dared look, the wound didnt curt and I though at first before looking I just smacked myself. OH I SMACKED MYSELF GOOD! Blade had glanced off my shin and cut a deep gouge that was bleeding nice. I go to the truck, get some bandaids and electrical tape as thats all we had and some napkins and clean myself up and bandage it without looking to well at it.

Later that day we went to another friends to split the wood we kept and we finish so I decide to finally look at it. Im sure I needed stitches, was a good 2-3 inches long and I could see the fleshy part of the skin, not just the outer layers. I bought some butterfly bandaids and proceeded to clean the wound with alcohol and peroxide. Kept cleaning it for weeks and kept changing the butterfly bandaids. Took like a month to fully heal. Im DAMN lucky I didnt get an infection.

3.I was trying to bend back the floor of a ford E350 van that was pretty mangled up. Someone musta put some really heavy stuff in there and made the floor cave in a few spots. Using a bottle jack and a pipe I kept jacking the pipe and fixing the floor. Well I wound up jacking the van itself up instead of the floor, pipe slipped and hitch came down on my left hand. Im positive I fractured it and put a nice cut on the top of my hand I still have the scar today!

4. My most bonehead move ever! Was driving to a friends and I noticed my pick up truck is missing for whatever reason. Im like wtf???? Get to friends and we look at it and yep he agrees its missing and i should go to my buddys shop. Im like nah Im gonna go home and get the tow truck when I get a ride. It was 2 miles back home and the truck REALLY started missing like a sumbitch! I also got a good bit of smoke coming from the hood, pulled over an dont see anything bad so I get home (it was only 1/2 mile at this point).

Proceed to examine the carnage in the driveway, number 2 plug on the pass side blew right out of the head. The smoke was being cause b/c the valve cover cracked from the force. The coil, was melted rubber and goop. IDK how it happened as the plug was in there for a good 50k or better and the last person (per the previous owners records) to touch it was the dealer.

BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER! So I go buy the help plug insert kit, decide before I even try to fix the head Ill JB weld the cracked cover since it was a corner and Ill wait for it to dry. Do the plug, you need to tap these things for the insert. Pull EFI fuse so it wont dump fuel in there and I crank out any shavings that I didnt get with a grease covered tap. FORGOT the rag I left on the intake. So im cranking away and the rag falls into my exposed DOHC! Right into the gears. UGH!

I try to get it out, no dice, gotta take it all apart. So start to sort it all out, realize great now I gotta redo the timing belt cause the cams will move. Also realize I need a special tool, no one I know has it, it takes tension off the waterpump and idler for the t-belt and its 50 bucks online.

So now im down a car for a few days all cause of a rag. I get cam out and of course the belt moved. Get the stupid bits of rag out that shredded and 3 days later my tool comes. Put tool on but no matter how hard I try I cant get the tension off enough to get everything to work. Finally take the idler int he middle of the DOHC setup off and slowly start it by hand till it catches and pulls in.

Start truck up and its rattling like a mofo! Go re-read dealer manual I have, hmm nothing. Read it again, find little blurb..CAM IS UNDER SPRING TENSION! Great, now I gotta find a way to tension the cam, ok read more-once cam tensioned lock cam in place with bolt in hole. Now I got the cam out again and Im looking all over to find a stupid thing to make the tool they show to do this, looks like an angle grinder wrench sorta thats adjustable. No dice, nometal to to do it with. Try a piece of oak and some drill bits, snapped the bits. Then Im starting at it more and more and I get an idea-my channel lock oil filter pliers look like they would fit it and have teeth that grip it! BINGO! It works!!!

Back outside to reinstall it, struggle but get it done. The plugs and wires also got done a week later. That one plug is NEVER EVER EVER getting removed again!

 

[todd_fuller]

..there was no way to even screw the old valve back in with so much water flow..the only thing I could do is cover the hole with my thumb and then it was just like when you do it over a water hose..

I had a similar 'oh ****' moment when I was living in an apartment. Went to install some shelving in the closet. Found the studs, no problem, just drill a couple holes and hang the posts. Well, some construction guy thought it would be OK to snug the fire sprinkler PVC pipe tight against the stud. Rather than drilling into the stud, I got a sprinkler system! Not your average water pressure.

The complex was pretty cool about it. They were pleased that I didn't flood the place by putting a screw in the hole and limiting the water to a manageae amount. Didn't even charge me for having the fire suppression guys come fix it and redo the drywall!

 

[Craig Smith]

I tried wallpapering once.

Got one strip/run up, stood back, thought it looked good.

Had a beer.

2nd run.

Had a beer.

repeat...

looked great when I went to bed.

Not so good when I woke up.

 

[kbs2244]

Not me, but my Dad.

He was a FAA certified Flight Instructor and A & E (prior to A & P) mechanic.
That meant he could work on airplane bodies as well as engines.

This was in the days (late 50’s early 60’s) when sheet aluminum was replacing fabric over tube as a way to build airplanes.

He came home one night with his left ring finger bandaged.
It turned out he had to enlarge a hole to put in a replacement rivet.
He was holding the sheet metal from underneath to keep it from vibrating while he drilled from the top side.
He drilled right into his finger and broke off the drill, leaving the end in his finger.

One of the other mechanics gave him a shot of whisky, (he wasn’t a drinker) and took him to the local doctor. (No E R in those days)

The Doc looks at it and says “Well, I not sure how to get this out.”
To which my dad says “Well they go in clockwise, so try un-twisting it.”
Which is what the Doc did.
A lot of iodine and some tight bandages and he was back to the airport where he drove himself home.
And went back to work the next day.

I learned a lot that night.