do you ask for permission?

[KPSquared]

Well, I realized early in life that a relationship is not about being "fair". . .that's a very juvenile attitude towards life. We are both in this 100%. Just because she gets something, doesn't mean that I have to get something to. That ended in grade school for me.

My wife and I have about a $100 cut-off. If it's over that, we discuss it and weather or not it's needed. I have never lied to my wife about anything and I never will. She trusts my judgement and allows me to make responsible decisions for our family and I do the same for her. If I say, "I need this new tool" it means that I NEED this new tool. If I say, "I want this new tool" it means I don't NEED it and I certainly can stop and weight the pros and cons of the purchase.

Most of my impulsive or unplanned tool purchases are mid-repair on a vehicle and she totally gets it when I have to run out and buy some randome gear puller or something.

Helps that her dad was a mechanic and a bit of a car nut. . .

I just shake my head at some of the answers here. They all seem like a recipe for a divorce. I guess if it works for you, then giv'er but I prefer to just enjoy my bride and spend my time fostering an open and honest relationship. Makes for a lot less stress on both our parts. . .

 

[Doxhog]

My wife says her paycheck is her money and my paycheck is my money. We split the household bills. As long as the bills are paid and there is food on the table, a roof over our head and clothes on our back there is no problem.

She buys what she wants (crafting supplies, clothes, etc...) with her money and I buy what I want (tools, motorcycles, etc...) with my money.

 

[dirttracker18]

nope...in fact, she's a bit of an enabler!

Me too, must a Canadian girl thing

In fact I have been hurting to get a hoist for some time and she says "just go buy it then." However, my pratical side tells me we cannot afford it right now.

So long as I have a use for it she's on board with my purchases.

She wants a new studio built, I bought a Bostich Framing Nailer

Her dad needs some pieces made up for an outdoor project, I got a good used horizontal/vertical band saw

Next time her cars needs some kind of undercarriage work, perhaps I get that hoist I have been looking at

 

[KCarGuy]

Back in the Mid 80's...I was working at a Shop 50 miles from my house and buying tools like a mad man. I got to the point that the 3 tier tool box was overflowing.
So I Asked my wife if I could buy a large Snap On Box for $2000...I was told "No".

When I quit that Job, I had a Flatbed truck bring my New Toolbox full of tools home along with a 1965 Dodge Coronet that she was unaware of.

The Toolbox that I Asked for is what got her mad at me...Not the tools or the car that she was unaware of.

 

[hobie1dog]

she is not my Mother, I don't have to get permission for anything.

 

[sberry]

My wife got a wheel bearing in her car for valentines,,, ha I might tell her I am doing something major or if I am having a debate, she used to say,,, it hurts me you dont tell me etc but over a bit of time she finds out in practice its something she didnt need to know.

Its hard for women to accept this in some cases, even ones that know it have a bit of trouble, it causes a little friction. She jumps behind me when I am right. I put up with her being innocent ,,,, different than being unaware, in other words she knows a lie but figures there must be a good reason for it,,, hahahahaha

 

[redline380]

you guys got it all wrong. make them pay for your tools.

example- told my girlfriend i am going to drop her oil pan and replace her oil pickup tube, but i need an electric impact to take out all those pesky bolts which would take forever with a ratchet. an electric impact is much cheaper than having the stealership perform the labor so we'll see if this strategy to get free tools holds up

 

[Wi Fire 10]

2oolHound -I think this guy is one of the few of us who has actually figured women out!

 

[bobcatdan]

Seeing how I pay for everything and all paid on time, she has don't care what I buy.

 

[Wi Fire 10]

I get tools, she gets ***. No lies needed. If she doesn't let me get tools then no *** for her. Works out good for me i think

There are 3 billion other guys out there, if you aren't gunna give it to her, I bet there are plenty of others that would. Careful with that attitude. lol

 

[lowbucktruck]

What is worse, not asking/discussing big purchases with your wife? Or having a father-in-law who is on your side, gets it and is a bit of an enabler? Either way, I get in hot water with the little woman. I usually just pull the trigger and buy stuff, then deal with the wrath of SWMBO. Some days feels like I am always in the doghouse. That's okay, I can sleep in the garage with my new tools and the dog.

 

[RKA]

Back in the Mid 80's...I was working at a Shop 50 miles from my house and buying tools like a mad man. I got to the point that the 3 tier tool box was overflowing.
So I Asked my wife if I could buy a large Snap On Box for $2000...I was told "No".

When I quit that Job, I had a Flatbed truck bring my New Toolbox full of tools home along with a 1965 Dodge Coronet that she was unaware of.

The Toolbox that I Asked for is what got her mad at me...Not the tools or the car that she was unaware of.

Now that's funny! Lesson learned!

Everybody has their own situation. My wife knows a few things about me...

I won't buy junk unless I know it's a one time use item. This usually means whatever I buy won't come cheap. She knows she's not going to change this and in fact, she's seen the benefit of putting a little thought into what item really serves a purpose best rather than just buying based on price. But for the most part, she doesn't want to know what a tool costs.

I would rather buy a tool than pay someone (time willing).

Most any DIY job around the house or car will require more tools than I anticipated when I started. I'd much rather have that extra tool sitting in the basement or the garage than on a shelf at the store (too much time wasted running back and forth). So I will have what appears to be an excess on hand, but it makes projects so much easier.

I do enjoy DIYing when I have time on my hands.

I'm a tool junkie, so every now and again, something I really don't need floats in the door. That's balanced by a frugal vein in me, so I'm perfectly happy not buying something when I don't see a need for it.

I don't lose sight of the bigger picture. In the last 5 years I've given up my obsession with cars or going to the track (my choice) to focus on reducing our mortgage, investing, retirement, etc. Eventually I'll have my toys back, when I reach a point where I feel like those other things are on the path we've paved.

At the end of the day, no lies, no permission, but if it's a sizable purchase, I'll give her a heads up and explain why I think it's important. At the end of the day we both have limits, and while they are slightly different, they aren't so far off that the tools need to be a topic of discussion.

 

[FXDawg]

For me and tools and computer stuff...there is no real discussion besides. "when did you get that?" "How much did that cost?" LOL Thats if she sees it! we really don't discuss the smaller things. Big things, like a new garage, TV, Lawn Tractor is more of a start talking about it, start researching and sharing the research and then I get "Are you sure about this?" And I say, "Yes, I'm sure..." I'm not really that much of spend without need kind of guy, otherwise, I'd have had the garage years ago! Also, she never sees the bills and I never complain about money (well, almost never) so, all is well in the world, for now!

Besides, aren't we just doing our parts as Americans buy buying stuff? we're a consumer nation if we all stopped buying **** and hoarding our money, our economy will NEVER recover. So, I feel I'm doing my duty as a patriotic American and buying some ****! LOL

I do tend to hang onto things though. I usually only want to buy a tool once and keep it forever! I only really buys tools I need to do a job and justify by saying, "well I could pay someone $X.** to do it for me or I could by the tool for $X.** and do it myself. The funny thing is, I'm only justifying to myself. The wife would prefer I pay someone to do it and then take her out somewhere! LOL Then I pay twice!!

 

[theoldwizard1]

I just bought a new laptop. I have 5 laptops that work (4 so slow they are only useful with Linux) and one that is dead (but it could be fixed for about $100).

I did NOT ask permission this time, so I may suffer the wrath of SWMBO !

 

[BikeFitter]

my wife just says, "well make sure you save the receipts for tax purposes." She see's a silver lining i suppose.

 

[Fireball027]

Mine keeps telling me I am buying too many tools and I need to stop... Then I just politely remind her that my tools make money so she can go out and buy more purses. Then I get an ok to purchase what I want.

The only time she gets mad is if I use her purse as a tool bag...

 

[Richard D]

If she comes in the garage bitching, send her back inside for a sandwich and a cold beer, pronto!

 

[crewchief888]

after being together for 14 years, she's figured it out.

i justify (to myself) every thing i buy.

most of my tool buying is small purchases, searching pawn shops, yard sales, flea mkts, i use my "disposable income" (scrap money) for nearly everything.

if i need something beyond my meager scrap earnings, i'll talk it over 1st, that way theres no surprises.

 

[ChevyEFI]

I recently did front brakes on both her parents' cars.

Trips to HF, I try and either go with her Dad or if it's something small, have him pick it up during the week since he works in the same plaza as a store.

If I was going to buy a pricier item, I wouldn't be buying it unless it made fiscal sense in the first place. And I tell her what I'm buying and how much it is. I just don't ask her permission because again, I wouldn't be buying it on a whim or on a non-needed basis.

 

[GarageEnvy]

She has never told me to ask for permission. I've never felt the need to ask for permission.

That being said, I feel an obligation to tell her if I'm making a substantial purchase. For us, that's over $100. I'll tell her what I'm buying and why I'm getting it (i.e. on sale, for this project, my other one broke). No lying! I don't lie to my friends or customers. Why would I treat my wife worse than them?
This is a courtesy I extend to her because it is how I would like to be treated.

Hmm, I think there's even a "precious metal guideline" that goes something like that.

 

[Vin]

I just buy it -- and sneak it in the house later

 

[ironmutt]

I buy stuff I dont even need just to rile the *****

i almost spit my lunch all over my laptop on that one

 

[jbighump]

i told my wife i want/need a 3/8" impact gun and she looked at me and said,,,,does snap on make one???? ding ding ding thats all i needed lol..

i did ask when i found a killer deal on a big snap on box full of tools,,she said if u think u can make money with them get em...did i mention i love her

 

[shocksandstrutz]

somethings i mention to the wife, some things she doesnt need to be bothered with......i fix everything and take care of her and our 2 kids (soon to be 3) with just my paycheck. shes a good woman and knows the importance and value of a tool, as long as im not taking food out of our mouths to buy tools shes pretty cool with it

 

[Hammell]

No permission. Divorce was cheaper.. And he lived happily ever after...

 

[STGFordCrazy04]

Seriously, $ aside....

How often does your wife pull open a toolbox drawer and notice you have a new tool?

I had a left side locker to match my right for 2 weeks before she noticed. Its pretty difficult not to notice a side locker but then again I noticed a new spark plug gapper in my friends box so I ordered one too.

 

[DARKSCOPE001]

well I try to just not say anything or fudge the cost of the tools a little. My girlfriend figured out that i got a new toolbox from the snap on truck. and she isnt real happy. Good thing we got it on before i told her. she was mad that I "didnt tell her" she is mad either way tho. but its not her fault her entire family is frugal and idiots when it comes to tools.

If two tools were hanging on a shelf One USA and china and the usa one was 3 cents more they would grab the china one and anyone who pays more for "the same thing" is an idiot in their eyes. So I dont even bring up tools around her or her family anymore because I always get the "I have the same thing but I got it at lows for 1/10 that so therefore i think your stupid" speach

Thanks
Sean Scott

 

[Boog]

My wife is really great. When I get home from the Saturday estate sales, sometimes she'll ask about what tools I've bought, sometimes she doesn't. I usually sell some things to support my habit. I don't like taking money from the "family money". Occasionally I may need to justify a purchase, which became difficult about the time I got my 14th vise (Parker 59X). I got "why do you need this many vises?"

 

[crewchief888]

i was married to my ex for 17 years, her dad was a self employed bodyman/ painter, so she grew up around his shop and garage.

she, by herself, rebuilt a non running '64 honda 90 scooter.

in '85 i was wrenching at a const eq dealer, my boxes were overflowing, so i traded everything in and bought a brand new set of kr550/555b SO boxes.

dealership went under about 3 weeks later, i didnt want to haul my boxes home in my rusted out chevy van, i was afraid they would fall through the floor..
i wnet by her office dropped the van off, and grabbed my toyota pickup, went back loaded up my boxes and went home.
i was in the process of tarping off my new boxes when she pulled up.
she wasnt stupid, and questioned the bright shiney BIG red toolboxes.
it all worked out in the end...
jump ahead 9 years, i was on the SO truck, dealer had a set of SO/ harley davidson editions, i took the flyer home for the ex to see.
month or so later she's asking where my new boxes were at?
she figured i bought them and was hiding them at work..
i bought them the next week

 

[sberry]

I wish I was good at selling items, its a chore. I see a lot of good tools on the lists, great if I was the end user, for resale not worth the effort to get a great deal agross the state to make 50 on small items. I bought a floor sweeper I am thrilled with, turned out great, the risk was low if it didnt and I was on the gas and read the deal right, I win I quit playing,,, ha

If I need it to work I usually am not in the waiting mood, I will buy a wrench off the shelf somewhere. Shopping is so much better and easier today we can wait for some things and score as needed vs anticipation.

 

[Ncognito]

she was mad that I "didnt tell her" she is mad either way tho. but its not her fault her entire family is frugal and idiots when it comes to tools.

So I dont even bring up tools around her or her family anymore because I always get the "I have the same thing but I got it at lows for 1/10 that so therefore i think your stupid" speach

Thanks
Sean Scott

Run. Fast!

 

[RCStocker]

What a question.
I don't lie to my wife
If you have any self worth you will never lie. In fact you will never do anything you need to lie about.
I would say you need to first work on your character. That is the problem. You need to put things in priority. If you spend your money on tools you will never have a retirement plan. Then you will be living on the work of others with governemnt hand outs.
I would not have the balls to post a question like yours. Then again I would never need to ask the question.

The only other solution is get better educated so you can make enough money so buying tools is not a problem.

 

[Boog]

Well I thought it was a nice light hearted question...

 

[joedodge]

Nope don't ask I spin wrenches to make money wouldn't matter if she said no but I also always keep balance low or 0

 

[Hammell]

What a question.
I don't lie to my wife
If you have any self worth you will never lie. In fact you will never do anything you need to lie about.
QUOTE]

whatever self righteous.., i guess u got lucky and got the one in a billion wives that dont ***** or your a liar...

 

[930dreamer]

I ear mark my ebay profits for TOOLS I NEED TO BUY.

 

[FXDawg]

....you know there is always the old saying...."it's better to ask for forgiveness than for permission!!"

 

[DARKSCOPE001]

Run. Fast!

ive had other people say that to me but I just really like this girl. maybe im just a loser :

 

[chipper]

Judgemental anyone Im just tryin to spread a little entertainment. around here fact is i have a wonderful relationship with my wife been married 15 years probably longer then most of you and I'm only 34 you guys are takin this a little to serious and for you guys that say you have never lied to your wife....i bet you won't say that in church.

 

[sberry]

I am a lucky guy. She looks nervous here. Married her when she was barely 19.