Garage friends.

[Flivver250]

Occasionally my wife is friends with some woman that she wants to socialize with and get me interested in hanging as a couple so husband and wife come over for first social get together. Usually it is a meal with beer and a BBQ. All safe stuff. Well, at some point any man worth his testes should get tired of the hens clucking away about wall paper and retire to another area for manly talk. I have always had a shop with tools, engines, guns, fishing stuff, chain saws, ice augers, 4x4s, big blocks, Harleys, Indians etc. Man turf! What the hell do you do when mama's friend's douchebag husband has zero interest in manly man stuff? I generally smile through the evening, go back to the hens and place my brain into neutral. Invariably mama will later ask me (more like a statement) Oh he was very nice and you guys got along great, did you like him? I am always honest and I would say, never bring Rain Man back here again. I just have to guess these are men raised by women (no father figure) and they never had a mini-bike or a big brother that zapped him in the nads with a spark plug wire. Where does my wife find them? What do you do when mama tries to get you to play with Mr. Metrosexual? I just say Never Again! My friends are required to have grease under their nails.

 

[Leaflessshadetree]

So what were his interests?

 

[naturalgas]

Maybe you can take him out back and and play catch.


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[DonPowers]

I'm going to beat tampa to the punch, was the wife hot?

 

[coljar]

Bang his wife!

And do it in the garage.

 

[DonPowers]

She might like grease under the nails.

 

[Flivver250]

Both liked dog training. The wife was the actual dog fanatic and her dog was better looking and smarter. I thought they both had more neurosis than an abused dog and they acted like pre-teen Justin Bieber fans when talking about the trainers and breeders.

 

[steve308]

Sounds like the wife is setting you up for a bit of 'swinging' and I don't mean down at the park on the set with the sliding board

 

[bczygan]

Man stuff includes WAY more than grease under the fingernails and beer.

Widen your horizons.

Metrosexuals may have something to teach you.

Bill

 

[Richard Cranium]

If he can't find his way around the garage, send him packing, or as Grandpa Tampa would say, bang his wife.

 

[JimVonBaden]

Why don't you find your own friends and invite him and the wife over? That way you get some interesting conversation and the wife may make a new friend that she likes, or understand how you feel when she does it.

 

[wornoutoldman]

Little different/same situation. I feel your pain.

My in laws are a large Irish family and all the men are huge sport fanatics, football, baseball, soccer you know what I'm saying. Every visit finds a room full of these lunatics drinking and yelling at the TV and each other. I consider it a sport if it has wheels and internal combustion engines involved. These guys can't figure out why/what a jiffy lube is and wonder why their car is making "funny knocking sounds. Wifey and I will be spending the holidays with family of course and I will be hanging with the ladies! (they look and smell much better)

 

[crewchief888]

I don't let the wife pick my friends.

 

[maxpower_hd]

I don't seem to have this issue with my wife. Our friends mostly have been around for some time and they are almost all garage guys. My Brother-in-law is sort of a talking head, political geek so he hangs with the girls mostly. The guys tend to end up in the garage smoking and drinking.

My daughter though is sort of an artsy fartsy type and her boyfriends don't typically share ANY interests in motorycles, tools or anything for that matter. The newest one though is passing the test so far. He is still a little geeky which is my daughter's taste too but he enjoys working on engines, motorcycles, wood, etc. He owns a house and does his own work. Although I am into trucks, old cars and Harleys while he is into BMWs (both car and motorcycles), mopeds and newer cars. We still have common things to talk about. He may be a keeper. I don't think I'm ready to let him ride my Harley though and I have no interest in riding his Beemer either. LOL

 

[dlcwent]

I'm more than happy to give a new guy a try at friendship. But if there's nothing in common, then what's the point of hanging in the future. And I'll bet he won't want to come back and hang with you either. I'm not going to pretend that I want to be around someone that I have nothing in common with. Move on to the next "guy" she brings to you to meet. But tell her why.

 

[Fastfish]

Funny Reading. All I can say is I share your pain. Looking forward to the Friday after Thanksgiving so I can spend it working/hanging out in my shop.
Hopefully the food is good, the time goes by quickly on Thursday.

 

[Kevin54]

The neighbor isn't all dumb, he's hanging with two women who may just be hot.

 

[bagged89s10]

I just tell my wife I don't have time to meet new people. Luckily having a 4 year old doesn't allow much time for that anyway. Once in a while we might hang out with a couple with little ones and at least we can talk about our kids if nothing in common about garage life.

 

[Nexussian]

Sadly, there isn't enough room in my garage to use it sociably, not with all the stuff in there.

If your wife has brought more than one such person along, it's time for a sit down with her.

No need to be rude, explain to her how miserable an experience it really is.

As others have suggested, finding someone to have over that is more to your liking may help make your point.

 

[Hpozzuoli]

If I was in that situation I would have called a bunch of my friends within the first five minutes and turned it into something really interesting.

 

[bdbecker]

When we moved back, my wife made some friends with some women from our church right away. I was in the same boat - what the heck am I going to talk to a finance guy, a software engineer, and and an art teacher about? Believe me, the first few times we all got together was a little uncomfortable.

Now we have all became really good friends. It turns out the finance guy is an avid outdoorsman, the software engineer plays guitar in a outlaw/honky tonk style country band, and the art teacher is really starting to get into woodworking. He was probably just as uncomfortable as you were... and that is at least that's one thing you have in common.

 

[A**holes Garage]

my wife knows better, I'll embarrass her

 

[screff]

You never said, is there going to be a second date?

 

[mykvr6]

One of my exes always did this. She insisted on hanging out with her friends as couples and I should be friends with her friends husbands or boyfriends. It almost never worked out.

My current wife tries to do the same thing but lets me be if I don't want to. She is very outgoing and social and loves catching up with old high school friends, old college friends etc. She likes going to everyones parties, housewarmings etc. Yesterday in fact she went to a housewarming for an old college friend. I let her go alone with the kiddo. I wanted to spend time in the garage so I passed. She's like, "you're never going to meet anyone if you don't go out" I said I've met all the people I want to! lol. I'd rather get stuff done around the house and in the garage than eat finger foods and pretend to care about other peoples conversations. I guess I'm a bit more antisocial that way. But more often than not, I'm at these things with my wife thinking about what I could be doing with tools than standing around with a bunch of strangers!

But we talked about it and she knows I like to work in the garage and on the cars and she likes to socialize and chat with people. So we kind of worked out an understanding, that way she can have her fun and I'm not standing around pacing and probably making some sort of questionable faces lol

 

[Stevie-Ray]

Where I used to live, my NDN used to have get-togethers with the guys in his shed, mostly a one-car sized affair. Keeps his Harley in there. Plenty big enough to have 4 or 5 friends over bullshitting, drinking, snacking, etc. There was usually 4, sometimes as many as 6 of us and we always had a blast. We're at the age though, where the wives don't really care as they get time alone. If my wife wanted to visit his in the house, that was OK too, as they were best friends. Up here, I have no garage friends, even though I have a dream garage. That's OK for now though, as it's still full of **** from the final move. I do miss that, though, even though it's about the ONLY thing I miss about not being there. Now when there are get-togethers, it's with my brother and his wife, and a mutual friend and his wife, and we're playing cards.

Your situation reminds me of Home Improvement's "meatman" episode.

 

[G-Ram]

my ol lady has tried "setting me up" with her friends boyfriends. now she knows better than to try that **** on me..

 

[bjcouche]

I know how you feel. I have a BIL that doesn't know how to use power tools, install a garbage disposer, etc. We like each other fine, but we just have nothing in common to talk about.
20 years ago I had a college room mate that didn't know how to read a tape measure. I'd ask him to cut a board at 4'7" and he'd have to take 12*4+7, and then cut it at 55". He had a father during childhood but grew up in a condo type housing and never had the opportunity to do woodworking etc. He had no problem learning how to use power tools and such, but simply was never exposed to the opportunity to use them.

What I'd recommend is when your wife invites her friends over, that you also invite an additional couple with whom you have something in common with. With 3 couples, that way you will have someone to talk to.

 

[theoldwizard1]

I just say Never Again! My friends are required to have grease under their nails.

I would fit in with you, but none of friends ! My son-n-law won't even change the oil on his F150 even though I have everything he needs right here, including the oil and filter !

 

[kv501]

This is one of the several reasons I don't have a wife. I'm not a people person, and I'm definitely not an "act-like-a-people-person-to-make-my-wife-happy-while-I'm-actually-miserable", person. I don't know how you guys do it.

One of these ordeals was the reason a log-time GF and I split a few years ago. Couldn't stand any of her family except her mom who was a saint. GF asked me to go over for dinner with her folks on a Saturday afternoon, and rather than saying OK I told her no. Deer in the headlights. The Hawkeyes were playing football and I was going to watch because that's what I do on Saturdays in the fall (and I didn't like her family, but I didn't say that). Then she started in about how it was like pulling teeth to get me to blah blah blah...A week later 3 years of dating was toast. My threshold for any kind of bitching is nil, and I can't be in a situation where I have to run everything bigger than a 30 minute trip or pack of gum by someone for approval or disapproval. Again, I have no idea how you guys do it.

 

[Jinks]

Books! And if you're at your house, tools. I take a book (or ebook) everywhere I go. Most of my wife's family are nice people, but we don't have much in common. When the conversation at their place wanders to things I have no interest in I pull out a book. If it happens at my house I either do that or head for the shop to find something to do. Others that are interested are free to follow, or stay & chat with the ladies.

I've also been known to find a computer & spend some time on GJ when I don't fit the conversation. Point is, I have a life with my own interests. I don't force them on others or allow them to force me into something I don't enjoy.

 

[Orange65]

This conversation got me to thinking about a couple of times we tried to make friends and to connect with really old friends of my wife. The really old friends of my wife ended up wanting us to swing with them- nope! Hadn't seen them in years!

Another time, we invited a couple over for supper. We both got along with them ok even though there really weren't any shared interests. But during the night, I went to the bathroom and when I came out I forgot to zip up. Didn't catch that till they were gone... Needless to say, they did not come back. And we met them at church to add insult to injury.

 

[kv501]

This conversation got me to thinking about a couple of times we tried to make friends and to connect with really old friends of my wife. The really old friends of my wife ended up wanting us to swing with them- nope! Hadn't seen them in years!

Whoa. That would be weird x 1,000.

Another time, we invited a couple over for supper. We both got along with them ok even though there really weren't any shared interests. But during the night, I went to the bathroom and when I came out I forgot to zip up. Didn't catch that till they were gone... Needless to say, they did not come back. And we met them at church to add insult to injury.

That's actually a perfect test to find out if someone's too uptight for me to make friends with them. I''l have to remember that and try it sometime.

 

[coljar]

This conversation got me to thinking about a couple of times we tried to make friends and to connect with really old friends of my wife. The really old friends of my wife ended up wanting us to swing with them- nope! Hadn't seen them in years!

Tampa must be working. Maybe he'll skim over this and miss it.

 

[JCQuick]

we just don't have friends the ones we do have are all car related one way or another, There's a small hand full that were meet in bars

As far a family my wife has 7 sisters and 4 brothers and then add wives kids and grand kids it gets stupid but fun

All the males one way or the other have a car passion so it easy plus 99% drink beer

 

[PugetDude]

Both liked dog training. The wife was the actual dog fanatic and her dog was better looking and smarter. I thought they both had more neurosis than an abused dog and they acted like pre-teen Justin Bieber fans when talking about the trainers and breeders.

Maybe if you'd taken him out to the garage and shown him your dog-bone wrenches you be BFF's by now..

 

[JunkYardDawg]

I don't let the wife pick my friends.

Spot on!

However, I can relate to the OP. My wife has a 'position' which socializing and networking is part of the job. It ***** ***, but I try to act civilized, and try to remember what I learned in college and make the best of it.

Some people simply have not had the pleasure of painting a room all by themselves, let alone know the difference between a kerf and a crack, or a thread and a burr.

Sad, kinda.

 

[Ponchoguy]

This is one of the several reasons I don't have a wife. I'm not a people person, and I'm definitely not an "act-like-a-people-person-to-make-my-wife-happy-while-I'm-actually-miserable", person. I don't know how you guys do it.

One of these ordeals was the reason a log-time GF and I split a few years ago. Couldn't stand any of her family except her mom who was a saint. GF asked me to go over for dinner with her folks on a Saturday afternoon, and rather than saying OK I told her no. Deer in the headlights. The Hawkeyes were playing football and I was going to watch because that's what I do on Saturdays in the fall (and I didn't like her family, but I didn't say that). Then she started in about how it was like pulling teeth to get me to blah blah blah...A week later 3 years of dating was toast. My threshold for any kind of bitching is nil, and I can't be in a situation where I have to run everything bigger than a 30 minute trip or pack of gum by someone for approval or disapproval. Again, I have no idea how you guys do it.

I'm not married either, but my ex-gfs father and BIL were handy so there were things in common there. The BIL said, "Watch me get Dad riled up". "Hey, Pop what about that Chinese made door knob?"

Now my ex-gfs father was Italian from Italy, so he would say in heavily accented English, "That pieecca a shhhhhhhhhhta, causa me a lotta agita. Can't getta anyting made in this country...Issa shame!" And on and on he went. LOL.

He was a nice guy, and we got along great. I helped him with his snowblower a few times and we would have probably gotten along great. Too bad things didn't work out.

I wouldn't mind being in a handy family where I feel like I could contribute my part and get help when I needed it too. That's the way the world works.

My ex-gf was nervous about meeting people, including my family because she was an odd person. She had "anxiety" about it so she said...she once even said, "So, you're not nervous about meeting my parents, my BIL and sister all at once?"

I said, "They put their pants on the same way I do, right? One leg at a time? We'll be fine".

Thinking about it we were opposites in a lot of ways, so good riddance, you don't chase, you replace! .

 

[TonkaJoe]

Although I'm a younger guy, I had an ex of 5 years ( whom I almost popped the question to) ditch me out of the blue for some cracked out loser.. I'm glad I didn't toss a ring on her finger thats for sure.

Her parents had a large farm and lots of $$, I'd always wrap up work (12hr shifts) and swing by to help do chores... even on my days off.
They were never really appreciative of the help or the above par treatment their daughter always recieved, and in those 5 years I can honestly count the number of times I was invited for a meal or event. Even less for the time's I recieved a simple thank you.

My family treated her like a queen but she never wanted much to do with them which was unfortunate.. as for friends.. she had idiot friends who were always out in a club or in some sort of trouble or drama, and I wanted nothing to do with them. She always had an excuse to avoid mine.
I have a couple of close buddies who I hunt with and a couple of older friends (40's 50's) who are Operators which I work with.. those guys all share my interests of hunting, fishing, heavy equipment, mining ,mechanics, carpentry etc.. and we're often in my shop shooting the breeze over cold beers or working on a project. I'll take the lifestyle of a couple of tight knit friends over the b.s. I dealt with for 5 years any day of the week.

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[James-W]

I have some friends who aren't into garages, or mechanics, or hunting, or fishing, or sports, or anything like that. But we still get together at times and we talk about things and we have a good time.

 

[justanengineer]

When I meet one of her lady friends' guys I make a point of getting them away from the women and asking them what theyre into rather than starting off with what I am. If I cant have a good conversation they dont get asked back, but that rarely happens.

This thread reminds me of meeting her grandfather, she was somewhat afraid of us meeting bc he's pretty quiet and can seem a bit "gruff" to some folks but it went well. Going in I knew he worked construction 40+ years and was into boats and fishing, not much else about him tho. Sitting in the grandparents' living room I spotted a few interesting/unique architectural features of their house so asked how they were built, being a former construction guy he took a lot of pride in explaining his work. Five minutes later he asked if I wanted to see his shop, hell yes, and we had a grand time without the ladies.