In all seriousness, what do you recommend?
Brand of hand tools sold at major retailers for homeowners? Stanley and Stanley-BD brands. The quality is consistent, chrome is good, it's largely not **** and I actually haven't ever prematurely broken or gotten upset at a Stanley tool within reason. My car club toolboxes are all stocked with Stanley because they haven't let me down and they're super easy to restock and replace.
If I was a teenager again and just starting out, I'd strongly encourage young Dan to buy Williams and Bahco. The price point is right in line with Gearwrench for the most part, but you wind up with a really good tool instead of an okay - or maybe not so okay - tool. You can get a 3pc set of Bahco Dual-80 soft handle ratchets for about the same as 60 tooth Gearwrench soft handles, for example. A Snap-On head in a Euro made handle for a Gearwrench price? Yes please. Supercombo wrenches cost about the same as Gearwrench long pattern fixies.
In terms of other garage related tools, heck I've got a mix. There's a Rubbermaid roll cart next to a generic metal cart next to a Craftsman tall stack next to a big Snap-On box. I'm not nearly as picky as some may think. I have a Kobalt branded Sanborn USA compressor, every common NA brand of socket and wrench and air tool except HF, and most of it has served me well. I actually used to really like Gearwrench and bought a lot of it, and then I started using it every day and came to really not like it. I've got boxes of their wrenches that I just don't want to use anymore because the ends are spread and the chrome peel is so bad I'd get metal splinters. I don't want to warranty this stuff out because I don't want to use their tools again for the most part.
Gearwrench magnetic spark plug swivel sockets are fantastic. Buy those. The 5/8 at least, it's like $11 at Advance. So good Snap-On even rebrands it, or at least they used to. I had a list the other day...
I think it's good quality stuff but I don't pay retail for it.