I have a heat pump here for the house, new unit replacing the old unit in early '17.
If the aux heat comes on, it shows on my thermostat.
The aux heat will come on if I bump the setting up 2 degrees or more, or if I bump it up at all while it's running. Bumping it back down, the aux goes back off.
Since, as mentioned, it's basically an air conditioner running in reverse, it's extracting heat from the outside air. From my observation, exactly how well this happens can be affected by humidity and wind, as well as the obvious outside temp. If it can get temp, but only barely, it will run longer. I think the short time between running depends on how quickly the building loses heat. So, at night, with no sun beating on it, or when windy, it runs more often.
When the unit was installed, I noticed the aux heat would come on around 24-27F, depending. During an inspection/tune up last year, I was offered a "compressor Booster", told it would ease compressor load, and increase the sere by half a point. Sere is how hvac efficiency is rated. This last winter, i've noticed a slight reduction in the electric bill, and the aux heat has not come on until down into the teens.
On really cold nights, I run the wood stove, which I installed while renovating, prior to moving here.
I'm in VA.