928'er
Well-known member
In the early 70's I was in the Air Force stationed at Ramstein AB in Germany.
Due to a slight (ahem) indiscretion I received an "Article 15" (of the UCMJ - administrative punishment) and was given 30 days in the brig. It was a pretty low key affair, kinda like being in detention hall - we were sent out on unsupervised work details during the day - but had to spend our nights in lock-up.
One evening a group of about five or six of my friends showed up to visit me and one of the girls had baked me a cake.
There were, maybe, six of us in the brig at the time and whenever anyone received a food gift it was divided up and consumed because there was no way (or place) to store it. After my visitors left, the guard on duty brought out a butter knife and divided up the cake. As the guard was cutting across the cake, the knife went "cha-chunk."
As you may have guessed, there was a file baked into the cake.
We had a good laugh and the guard told me he'd hold the file for me until I finished doing my time.
The next morning I was hauled before the brig CO who demanded to know who brought me the cake. I attempted to explain that it was just a friend and that it was a joke, but the CO - doing his best petty tyrant thing - got in my face and told me, in no uncertain terms - that I was in deep trouble for this "attempted escape." He demanded that I reveal the name of my accomplice.
After hemming and hawing for awhile it became increasing clear that he didn't appreciate the joke and was not going to take no for an answer.
So, eventually, I told him that ***** Baker had brought me the cake.
I watched the blood drain from his face as he asked "that wouldn't be Major General Baker's daughter (Commander Seventeenth Air Force and NATO's Allied Sector Three) - would it?"
"Ahh, that would be her."
He swallowed hard and told me that he would hold the file for me until I got out.
End of interrogation.
Still have the file.
Due to a slight (ahem) indiscretion I received an "Article 15" (of the UCMJ - administrative punishment) and was given 30 days in the brig. It was a pretty low key affair, kinda like being in detention hall - we were sent out on unsupervised work details during the day - but had to spend our nights in lock-up.
One evening a group of about five or six of my friends showed up to visit me and one of the girls had baked me a cake.
There were, maybe, six of us in the brig at the time and whenever anyone received a food gift it was divided up and consumed because there was no way (or place) to store it. After my visitors left, the guard on duty brought out a butter knife and divided up the cake. As the guard was cutting across the cake, the knife went "cha-chunk."
As you may have guessed, there was a file baked into the cake.
We had a good laugh and the guard told me he'd hold the file for me until I finished doing my time.
The next morning I was hauled before the brig CO who demanded to know who brought me the cake. I attempted to explain that it was just a friend and that it was a joke, but the CO - doing his best petty tyrant thing - got in my face and told me, in no uncertain terms - that I was in deep trouble for this "attempted escape." He demanded that I reveal the name of my accomplice.
After hemming and hawing for awhile it became increasing clear that he didn't appreciate the joke and was not going to take no for an answer.
So, eventually, I told him that ***** Baker had brought me the cake.
I watched the blood drain from his face as he asked "that wouldn't be Major General Baker's daughter (Commander Seventeenth Air Force and NATO's Allied Sector Three) - would it?"
"Ahh, that would be her."
He swallowed hard and told me that he would hold the file for me until I got out.
End of interrogation.
Still have the file.
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I started buying them in high school and it never stopped.