Oh Im a keyboard commando because youre a stick in the mud and I called you on it? WAHH he had to go inside and pay for his gas...oh noes

The world is gonna end.
Look , you obviously have a very limited sense of humor, and regardless of what you say probably cant take a joke either. Ive worked with guys like you, they love to dish it out (by your own admission) but get their ******* in a wad when it comes full circle.
I once put a small blob of black grease on the black phones up front, you wanna cry about that one to? or how about the time they plastic wrapped my 65" tool box with a full roll while simultaneously hiding every single cutting utensil in the shop? to which I filled all of their carts with packing peanuts? We have a good time, we laugh, we get even. It has never gone too far because we are grown ups and we do understand there are some boundaries which are not to be crossed (like banging someones wife

)
As far as the car things goes, the worst that has ever happened was a long zip tie was a put on a drive shaft so that it clicked. I made less of a fuss about it than you did here (it was on my truck). I did get the joy of handing the guy 4 valve cores and watching him run out into the lot expecting 4 flats. It was just extras we had laying around, but it was funny watching him whine and cry about it till he figure it out.
Like I said earlier, lighten up, we're not all old prudes that hate to have a little fun with their co-workers.