Huge Toolbox Giveaway Contest--Too Funny

[charle10]

Vicious maybe you should quit your day job and start writing short stories.

 

[JSK]

Less than 32 hours until the contest ends! Make sure you get your funnies in before the deadline!

My staff and I are very impressed by the many stories posted, and the high caliber of writing. We’re completely blown away! Some of them are side splitters for sure. You guys are making it tough. I'm gonna feel like the bachelor handing out roses come next week. Yikes.

Nice work and thanks everyone for participating! We should have a winner announced early next week. More details to follow.

This is going to be one hell of a tough call…

Jeff
...and the BendPak Staff


Remember, the contest for the contest Super-Wide Toolbox Set ends at exactly 5:00PM PST on July 31, 2009. Otherwise known as TOMORROW. You’ve got to hurry!

 

[Vicious_Cycle]

Vicious maybe you should quit your day job and start writing short stories.

Well thanks, charle10.

I hope it doesn't come to that- it might be a short story, but it sure took me a long time to write it.

 

[Vicious_Cycle]

A sloppy old caveman named Thor
Always left his tools on the floor
He bought a Ranger Super Wide
And put his tools inside
Now his cavewoman’s unhappy no more!

 

[autoist]

So, as was usual in the Army, every 3 years was moving day, and this was our year. The movers arrived early on the appointed day and started packing and loading our things onto the big van truck. Naturally, they didn't finish in one day; government contract after all.

The next day, as scheduled, the movers returned with the big truck followed by a small rollback wrecker. Their plan was to load all our furniture into the truck and then winch my loaded toolbox onto the wrecker. Then, they were going to take my toolbox to a loading dock where it would be transferred to the big van truck. Seems my toolbox was too heavy for 4 men to roll out of the garage and up the ramp into the van. Go figure!

When everything was finished, the big van pulled out followed by the wrecker. Well, my toolbox was fully loaded and I really didn't like the idea of my tools just wandering across town with nobody watching them. So, I decided to follow.

I hopped into one of my beautiful MGB's, one I'd completely restored, and pulled out of my drive behind the wrecker. Everything was going fine until we came to an intersection. Yep, you guessed it.

A kid in one of those little bubble Japanese cars with stereo blasting slammed on his brakes to miss hitting a car that had stopped abruptly in front of him, causing the big van to stop as quickly as is possible with an 18-wheeler. And you guessed it again. The wrecker carrying all my tools stood on its front bumper trying not to hit the 18-wheeler in front of it!

But, I was behind the wrecker, and all I saw was my toolbox ripping free of its constraints and rolling towards me in what seemed like slow motion. When it reached the back of the wrecker, it slowly tipped over and did a perfect dive right onto the hood of my MGB. BLAM!

Flattened hood, busted valve cover and heater box, smashed cowl and dash, broken windshield and mangled windshield frame and one bent vent window assembly. But, that was the least of my worries. All my tools took off down the road. A few ended up in my lap along with the steering wheel weighted down by the top section of my toolbox, the others were rolling or bouncing down the road racing for their freedom.

And, before I could get out of my car, there were people picking up MY tools!

And the next day we had to head out for our new duty station leaving behind my smashed toolbox, lost tools, and totaled MGB. Sigh!

 

[Ruiner]

Any chance there might be some runner-up prizes (promo t-shirts, mugs, etc)? Just a thought...I'm digging these stories, I know I'd have a hard time deciding if it were me...

 

[BigRed390]

Any chance there might be some runner-up prizes (promo t-shirts, mugs, etc)? Just a thought...I'm digging these stories, I know I'd have a hard time deciding if it were me...

Good idea! It'd be like free advertisement, right? Cause you know we'd wear the stuff!

Edit: Kind of hard to wear a coffee mug, but I'd find a way!

 

[boseefus402]

Id put a Ranger tool box sticker on my Crafstman box but it would bring down the value of the Ranger sticker. I'd have to save it for something more worthy like a beer fridge.

 

[JSK]

Id put a Ranger tool box sticker on my Crafstman box but it would bring down the value of the Ranger sticker. I'd have to save it for something more worthy like a beer fridge.

Now that's worth an honorable mention for sure!

Jeff
BendPak

 

[mechamunch]

Written with a big nod to Carl Spackler…

So, I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a wrencher at a shop over in the Himalayas. A wrencher, you know, a mechanic, a grease monkey, a wrencher. So, I tell them I'm a pro wrencher, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. Very hands on, likes to assist. So, I'm on the oil drain plug with him. I give him the socket driver. He hauls off and spins it free -- big wrencher, the Lama – and sends it flying long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the oil change and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive a Ranger Super-Wide tool cabinet as the final step in your path to total mechanicness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Wait, if I read this correctly, it means you're gunna die if you win...

 

[Ruiner]

Maybe it means if he wins with that story, I'll kill him...hehehe...

 

[BigRed390]

Bump. Winner?

 

[Ruiner]

They said "sometime early this week", which means probably Friday hahaha...

 

[BigRed390]

Awesome! I hope maybe I get a consolation prize like an egg beater. Or a live chicken. Or a quart of peach preserves! We'll have a good 'ol time, Margaret!

 

[Ruiner]

Don't forget, someone wins the 55 gallon drum of used food...hahaha...there were definately some funny stories posted here, I'm sure it'll take awhile to pick a clear winner...too bad we can't start a poll on here to help judge...

 

[JSK]

Huge Toolbox Giveaway Contest RESULTS

Dear friends of GarageJournal.com: After much deliberation, shouting, hair-pulling and childish name-calling, WE HAVE DECIDED UPON OUR WINNERS!

There were just so many great tales of toolbox triumph and tragedy that we just had to add second and third place prizes.

So, without further ado, will the following three literary geniuses please step to the front and collect their prizes!

In 3rd place, for the story which we’ve lovingly nicknamed “THE SCAB,” congratulations VICIOUS CYCLE! You’ve won the Ranger RH-50PL Premium Hose Reel with 50’ 300 psi Hose!

In 2nd place, for his tale of fireworks shop fiascos, congratulations BIGRED390! You’ve won the Ranger RFJ-3000LPF 1-1/2 Ton Capacity “Low Rider” Super-Long Floor Jack!

And in 1st place, the Grand-Prize Winner of the RTB-8DT and RTB-13DC Toolbox Stack, for his creative employment of Ranger equipment as Danica Patrick’s secret aphrodisiac, congratulations to PISTOLWHIP for his story “LUCKY CHARM!”

As for the rest of our toolbox tale-spinners, fear not! Everyone else who submitted a story / poem (and followed the rules) wins an official BendPak baseball cap!

Would the following GJ members please send JSK (me) a personal message with a name and address where they’d like their winnings sent!

PistolWhip
BigRed390
Vicious_Cycle
LGMechanical
plinker
babzog
Ruiner
texmln
rsanter
makgreens
cgc
ozzy214
djd99
onemoretry
Plombob
nonhog
DelmarvaOffroad
boseefus402
JDMopar
canucktruck
KL120
Richard Givan
S4Morgan
charle10
FlatheadRed
Rolling_Thunder
Lookin4'67Galaxieconv
autoist

Congratulations to all our winners and thanks for participating in Ranger's Huge Toolbox Giveaway Contest!

 

[Ruiner]

Congrats you guys, I gotta say I'm happy with the results, they were definately funny stories...this was a blast, thanks to Ranger for a great contest idea...

 

[Vicious_Cycle]

THANKS JSK!!! Awesome contest, and I'm very grateful that you added the extra prizes- very cool!!

PM coming your way.

 

[BigRed390]

WOOHOO!!!!! This just made my day! Congrats to Pistolwhip and Vicious both, and to everybody else! Big thanks to Ranger for all of this too! I'll definitely be returning the favor as they have several products on my need-to-buy list.

 

[PistolWhip]

OH MAN!!! That's so AWESOME!!! I've never won anything in my life. This is the coolest day ever!
Thank you so much, I can't believe I won. Am I sleeping again???? Hold on, let me run out and see if Danica is pulling up to my house....






Nope, I must be awake. PM coming your way sir!

 

[boseefus402]

Thank you for putting on the contest. It was a great promotion and congratulations PistolWhip!

While my tool storage may still be in the crapper at least my noggin is looking good!

 

[S4Morgan]

Thank you very much! Great promo and congrats to the big winners.

 

[Plombob]

Thanks for opportunity to play and congrats to those who won!

 

[revlover]

Just curious, why wasn't I on the list of baseball hat winners...?

Great contest... I really enjoyed all the stories.

 

[PistolWhip]

It's here guys!!!!! Check out my introduction thread. I'll be posting a review in the Tool section ASAP so stay tuned.

 

[Flathead Red]

Got my hat last week. Sweet! Thanks for the contest!!

Flathead Red

 

[Vicious_Cycle]

Received my hose reel yesterday. Looks really nice and heavy duty... and HEAVY! Trust me, ya don't want this thing to land on your head! It looks like it will last a lifetime.

Thanks again Jeff!

 

[BigRed390]

Got my floor jack yesterday too. Thing's built like a brick *********! the frame is twice the size i was expecting! It says 1 1/2 tons, but it looks nothing like a big-box store's 1 1/2 ton model. Incredible piece of work. Can't wait to try it out under the Galaxie! Will post pics when I do!

Thanks again to Ranger! This is really a great product, and obviously a great company. I'll be shopping with them in the future for sure!

 

[Vitalik]

Just recently I returned to work after a few weeks in the hospital. Glad that chapter in my life is behind me.

Being in the electrical trade business, I find myself working at a variety of different job sites. Some underground, some above. Our company performs electrical contracting services for small businesses as well as large commercial and industrial facilities needing as much as 6,000 amps of continuous power or more via multiple breaker panel installations. Many times I find myself working on multi-story buildings.

In December of last year, I was working on a four-story office building installing a Lennox L-Series packaged rooftop AC unit. For most large jobs I transport my tools and KNAACK storage chests to the job site. The box set and tools are my own personal property.

After four days of rooftop work and blistering sun I completed the job. In typical fashion, I found myself the lone worker at the job site just as the sun settled. I packaged up my tools and locked the boxes and proceeded to haul them to the freight elevator for the lonely trip down. Of course the freight elevator was inoperable. Did I really expect anything less? It was a Friday night and I was stuck on a rooftop with an hour to get to my daughters dance recital. Nonetheless, I kept my composure and searched for an alternative means of rooftop extraction. I already knew of the maintenance ladder chute on the east corner but that was only good enough for me. There was no way in hell I was leaving my tools.

Lucky enough, I located a swiveling rooftop crane that I presumed was used for hauling light loads to the roof. It was a stationary unit with a 1500-pound capacity and single boom. It had a hydraulic piston in addition to a ratchet hoist but the gears were jammed and the handle was frozen solid. Next to the crane was a large nylon webbed tarp thing that I presume was used for lifting multiple packages of stuff. It was a little weathered but looked strong enough. I figured my tool box set weighed about 400-pounds total so the crane was more than capable of doing the job. There was a single nylon rope that looked plenty long enough to reach the ground and back.

Being the MacGyver type, I simply unwound the nylon rope from the winch spool and routed the rope over the pulley at the end of the boom. I threw the long end of the rope down the side of the building and it landed in a bunch on the ground next to my pickup truck. I hurried down the maintenance ladder and secured the end of the rope to my hitch ball using a truckers knot. Being a small frame person, just less than 150 pounds, I found the ladder trip more nerve-wracking than physically challenging.

I hustled back to the roof and proceeded to wrap the nylon sling around the box set as best I could. I could have wrapped the box set completely, but there would not have been enough left to reach over and attach to the nylon rope. I managed to loop the sling through the middle of the box set leaving enough to reach over and attach to the rope at the crane. It may not have been perfect, but I figured would be balanced adequately for the trip down. I used another truckers knot so that I could take all the slack out, then I jacked the crane high enough for me to swing the load out over the side of building. My KNAACK set swung out over the side and balanced perfectly. Pamela, Daddy’s on the way!

I took my last trip down the ladder and hurriedly went over to the truck and yanked the truckers knot so I could gently lower my prize package to the ground.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly I lost presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the second floor I met the box set coming down resulting in a collarbone fracture. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time I regained presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of the excruciating pain.

At about that same time, the box set hit the ground landing on the front hood of my pickup truck. The nylon web disrupted and tossed the heavy box over the left front fender of my truck but the smaller box remained bundled. Devoid of the weight of the heavy box I then began a rapid decent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the second floor, I met the box coming up resulting in a broken ankle, two broken ribs and lacerations to my face and torso.

The encounter with the ascending box slowed me enough to lessen my injuries as I landed on the large box resting near my truck. Fortunately, only my left knee was broken and spleen ruptured. However, as I landed there in a daze staring helplessly at my tools hovering four stories above me, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope. The small box hurtled down the side of the building and landed on my right arm tearing flesh and breaking almost every bone.

Although still suffering from the trauma of the accident, I am able to return to work. Most of my tools weathered the storm but the KNAAK set was destroyed along with my pride.

Please, please consider me as a worthy candidate.

Holy Mother of God. Give it to him!

 

[torquepower85]

Hehe, oldie but goodie. I found the blog post on the site

 

[e-tek]

What a great contest. Sorry I couldn't come up with as funny a story as these, but I SURE enjoyed reading them! Had to re-tell a few too!!

As well - and of course - thanks to Jeff and BendPak/Ranger for putting it on and for those great prizes - I'm jealous!!

Cheers to all!!

 

[oldskoolgixxer]

hi folks, im not all that good at writing stories.. so i drew you a little picture to represent what a free new tool box would mean to me....




*ps im not a complete idiot...just thought it would make ya all chuckle...(and im in the uk so im **** out anyways.....)

 

[Inky Ford]

On their web site it says they have a 65,000 square foot "manufacturing facilities located in Santa Paula California," if that helps any.

Are the Ranger boxes made in the USA?

No, they are made in China.

Here is an online chat I had with Jenny from the company:

Please wait. A representative will be with you shortly.
Jenny says:
Hello Inky. My name is Jenny how can I help you?
Inky says:
Hi Jenny, Can you please tell me where they are made. Thanks
Jenny says:
They are designed and engineered here in the states, manufactured in China