At age 16 I had my first car, a salvaged 1982 RX-7, and it was time to change the rotary engine's 6 quarts of oil. Being a good student I ran through a quick pro and con list of changing the oil, which looked like this:
Cons:
1. I had never changed a car's oil before.
2. Dad isn't around to help and I was never taught how to change my own oil.
3. I didn't own a socket set, wrench, or an oil change pan.
Pros:
1. I had an adjustable wrench (who needs lots of wrenches when you have the one-size-fits-all solution?)
2. Mom had some quart sized plastic bags and a quart sized Pyrex measuring cup, or as I thought of this combination, a small oil change pan.
3. I once saw a friend change his own oil.
As a 16 year old male, I was brimming with confidence and devoid of competence, so the pros won in a landslide. The central problem would be where to place multiple quarts of motor oil when I only had a one quart container. The solution was obvious in my mind, I would open the drain plug just enough to allow a tiny trickle of oil into the one quart bag that would reside in the one quart measuring cup. When that bag was full, I would simply tighten the oil-drain bolt, seal the bag, and replace it with an empty bag. The idea was creative! It was MacGyver-like! Unfortunately, I was about to learn that I was channeling Frankie MacGyver, the famous ones paint-huffing brother.
When my perfect plan was put into action, I quickly learned that oil drain bolts are binary. That is to say that with the exception of classic motorcycles, they either allow all the oil out or none of the oil out. Which is to say I learned 6 quarts of oil can cover an awful lot of concrete. The next lesson was that soap, water, and lots of elbow grease doesn't return concrete to a pristine state. No pictures were taken of the state of the garage after the spill, but in my memory it looked something like this:
Fast forward twenty years and I am now fully aware of how oil drain bolts work, and am currently learning how buying a house works. In 7 days escrow will close on my first house, and for the first time in my life I will have the opportunity to keep the floor of my own garage clean. Since my hobby has become bringing air-cooled motorcycles back from the dead, and my apartment's garage floor tells me old motorcycles love an albino leopard spot motif (see the red area I've marked), I have decided to epoxy coat my garage floor and beat the bikes at their fiendish decorating game.
