GeddyT
Well-known member
Hell, I'd take even that!
Between 485 & 705 SQ/FT Mid-Century Moto Mecca Makeover
- Thread starter sakurama
- Start date
Workspaces between 485 and 705 squarefeet.
fartymarty
Well-known member
Of all the things you are so good at, fabrication, pizza baking, coffee brewing, home updating and repair, photography, etc etc (although I do think you've spent too much money on knife sharpeners for someone with your skill set).... with this one line I've quoted above I think your best skill might be of being a great brother.
Ditto!
You are a very good person for taking care of your sister. Good job man, I don’t envy you and I am sure it *****. I remember my parents dealing with my grandmother. It was like dealing with an unreasonable person who had a different reality. She was ok most of the time and was even aware of her condition, but she sometimes got out of touch and nasty. My grandmom got stuck repeatedly talking about her 1940’s Philadelphia high school expanding to include a summing pool.
OJKD
Active member
Gregor, I and a lot of others have received so much from you. With your talents it's hard to help back from the Internet, but when it comes to your situation with Lara, a lot of us have some experience with dementia.
A close relative was moved into a home this week. By the way you are describing Lara and the rate of decline, I think you should be prepared for 2024 to be the last year she lives with relatives. I wish to be wrong, but I really don't want you to be blindsided. If I ever can get something across, it's this: There are lots of good and kind caretakers for Lara who are professionals. There is only one of you, Nadia and Lucas. Don't miss out on being family to be caretakers.
A close relative was moved into a home this week. By the way you are describing Lara and the rate of decline, I think you should be prepared for 2024 to be the last year she lives with relatives. I wish to be wrong, but I really don't want you to be blindsided. If I ever can get something across, it's this: There are lots of good and kind caretakers for Lara who are professionals. There is only one of you, Nadia and Lucas. Don't miss out on being family to be caretakers.
Southernbuild
Well-known member
This sentiment really resonated with me. You spend a lifetime building the skills, and acquiring the tools to be able to do "everything".... But, then you're in the trap of "having" to do everything, to the point you don't have time for the stuff that you'd rather be doing...
Life is an enigma
SilverJimmy
Well-known member
The very worst part is that you, or at least I, can’t afford to pay someone the amount of money that it would cost to have them do it to the same level as we can do it ourselves. They might be able to do it kinda the same quicker, but at what cost? I got quoted over $750 to replace two glow plugs on my GMC DuraMax! After watching a couple videos and getting the same exact replacement parts for 20% of what the dealership wanted, I changed both in less than 30 minutes. I even used a torque wrench and torqued all the fasteners. That would not have been the case if a Flat-Rate tech had done that repair. I feel your pain, but it’s just how it is these days.
I think this is, in essence, part of why we're all here. And that curse is why we support each other in this sisyphean journey. The other day I stopped by a friends house to drop off a bicycle magazine. He's my regular bicycle partner and a broken his hip is keeping him in.
He and his family are doing a kitchen remodel and the crew that are doing the work are small but I've been impressed to see that they are sweating the details and doing a good job. The old ceiling wasn't level (something I'm very familiar with) and they'd cut shims to keep things square and level and overall I've been impressed with the work. Seeing Festool sanders and vacuums sort of told me that they care. It also took me back to what I took on when I tore open the house, replumbed and wired everything. What I did was actually a far more than the remodel that he's doing because, like the idiot I am, I also made all my own cabinets...
But here's the rub - the remodel is now pushing almost $300,000 with dealing with the hidden issues. I remember trying to explain that to Judiaann and it was lost to her - what I was doing had actual value. That I had value. To this day that was never seen, I was never appreciated, and over the course of the relationship I almost stopped believing in myself.
So I'm trapped between my skillset and bank account and doomed to do it all myself or accept dropping my standards through the basement I don't have. It's something many of know well.
So I'm trying to simplify my life. Reduce projects that aren't helpful or meaningful and also carve out time to do the ones that are still fun. Oh, and manage my sisters healthcare, be a good parent, be a good boyfriend and make time to have fun and spend time with friends and also try to maintain my sanity with exercise. I think all of us deal with varying levels of this.
So thank you all for the support. A few of you have messaged me to tell me of your personal stories of dealing with dementia and I appreciate that. Yesterday Lara came by with her ever patient boyfriend. They were stopping by before they "went to Florida for lunch" because no amount of explaining could convince Lara that Florida is far - so they tried driving there. It didn't convince her.
It's super hot here and so the work on the trailer is paused. I might have another story to fill the time - one I've wanted to tell since the separation but I've not been able to. Or maybe I do that personal project.
Gregor
This is the part that most people do not understand, if you were to pay someone to do the work the way you wanted you would probably not be able to afford it. Doing it yourself means the job will take longer but ultimately you'll know you did it right and to your standards.
Finallygotit
ALLIANCE MEMBER
I can relate to this soooooooo much. My first marriage saw me working my *** off in the house after working 55-60 hours a week on my regular job. (Those were my regular hours for years) It got to the point where I felt like the hired help and........well........it got worse.
I am so, so sorry you were made to feel that way to the point that you didn't believe in yourself. You are one very talented guy so hearing that you almost stopped believing in yourself was a VERY bad place to be.
But that is now in your rear view mirror (that itty-bitty little dot). Keep moving forward! Sounds like you have a good support network so don't be afraid to lean on them every now and again.
And if you want, hey you still have us.
Yeah, that might not be a good plan. 
Cheers!
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You are one very talented guy so hearing that you almost stopped believing in yourself was a VERY bad place to be.
But that is now in your rear view mirror (that itty-bitty little dot). Keep moving forward! Sounds like you have a good support network so don't be afraid to lean on them every now and again.
And if you want, hey you still have us.
Honestly the support I got here and from Ben, Scott, Jacob and Sean was absolutely essential for me when I was in a dark place. In the end I couldn't really get motivated to continue and just gave up. And now I'm trying to regain my mojo and find inspiration in the house again.
So thanks.
Gregor
beetlepower
Active member
Great to see you are back Gregor. You remain an inspiration
A lot of thoughts on the last few updates....the Social Media Influencer: I ran across that guy a few years back. He went from total beginner to self-proclaimed EXPERT in record time. Blowhard.
The remodeling with a spouse that takes you for granted: Been there too. Divorce is expensive, but worth every penny.
Hiring help: It's a siren song. You think you're doing it to make your life easier. Unless it's a task - like roofing or drywall - it ends up being worse than a DIY in mental health terms.
The only effective way I've found to simplify my life is to own fewer things. I earn a ton of money now so it's hard. But if I save most of it my time will be my own sooner, and that's the real win.
The remodeling with a spouse that takes you for granted: Been there too. Divorce is expensive, but worth every penny.
Hiring help: It's a siren song. You think you're doing it to make your life easier. Unless it's a task - like roofing or drywall - it ends up being worse than a DIY in mental health terms.
The only effective way I've found to simplify my life is to own fewer things. I earn a ton of money now so it's hard. But if I save most of it my time will be my own sooner, and that's the real win.
Jblount3
Well-known member
Your builds are inspiring. Such care and quality in a throw away world. I have read through this whole thing and even referred back to it when inspiration is needed.
lilscorpion
Well-known member
I can’t help it now but I’m starting to think if things “old-timers told me years ago…” when I read posts.
A good looking weld may isn’t necessarily strong and a strong weld isn’t necessarily good looking. What matters is if it serves the purpose and the rest is icing.
This. This is the key and coming from what was essentially a poor family where the answer was often, "We can't afford that..." I worked hard to be able to afford "things" and now things have become my prison. Two dozen well intended project that were bought for a song and will require a fair amount in both cash and energy and each could net a profit... but I have neither the time, energy or money because things like saving for the kids college, unexpected house costs (roof, floor, windows, beams...) are all fighting for attention.
And because I prioritize Lara, girlfriends, riding bikes - things that **** up time. To get rid of each project takes time and money.
My head spins.
Interestingly one of my partners Katie was recently diagnosed with ADHD and it's something my therapist has suggested I look into. She's always right but I am dismissive of whatever seems like a pop psychology solution to whatever modern woe we didn't seem to have before. Then, as we were talking about symptoms; smart but easily distracted, inability to finish projects, many ideas but lack the ability to focus on the one that is most important, I started to see my father more fully and suddenly saw him through this new lens. **** if he wasn't the poster child for that.
Katie gave me one of her 5mg Adderalls on a day when I despately needed and finally asked for her help. It was shocking how focused I became. I finished a half dozen small projects, put away things that were left out, cleaned the house and felt, at the end of the day, truly like I'd accomplished things that had been beyond me for weeks as I spun my wheels.
It's obviously a multi-prong problem but I want to explore this more and have a more open mind. This year has been one of forcing myself to open my mind to ideas I'm not comfortable with and seeing how they fit. It's been good. I've learned a lot.
It's a much larger discussion that we're not quite ready for but it's close.
Gregor
Nolift911
Well-known member
Well that's interesting - I think I need to try that out....
ADHD'er here. I can see it in both you and @Nolift911. The hyperfocus and all in on things that interest you and the lack of motivation at other times to do anything.
My wife used to get annoyed that I would wash 95% of the dishes and then go do something else. I've tried to spin it as "at least there's only 5% for you..." but I think I'm still losing that argument.
I did find it great when the kids were younger. I was always able to distract them.
My wife used to get annoyed that I would wash 95% of the dishes and then go do something else. I've tried to spin it as "at least there's only 5% for you..." but I think I'm still losing that argument.
I did find it great when the kids were younger. I was always able to distract them.
Bob Heine
ALLIANCE MEMBER
Months ago I finished preparing a will to take to a lawyer. By finished, I reached 95% and found twelve things to distract me. I printed four copies of the 360 page family tree I've worked on for more than 30 years but didn't print the other two. A Couple of quick PVC projects intervened. The umpteenth list of projects that need doing has been entered in a reminder I look at every day but abandoned it because the list is interfering with me getting even the simplest thing done. I've shredded several garbage cans of papers but the pile needing attention just gets bigger.
As Pogo famously said: "We have met the enemy and he is us."
As Pogo famously said: "We have met the enemy and he is us."
When you start to have intrusive thoughts that, perhaps, having your house burn to the ground might be liberating...your **** is starting to own you.
I grew up really, really poor, not that I fully realized it. It both helps - you know how little it takes to be happy - and hurts - you know how satisfying it can be to have the things you missed out on.
The only commodity worth anything is time. Have an auction.
GeddyT
Well-known member
This is me to a tee. Every time my whole family leaves the house for a vacation or soccer tournament or something, I will at least once spend a little time with a fantasy of a meteor hitting my house. The thing I've said most about my shop fire is that the wrong building burned down. I can't help but focus on all the ways my house is a broken down shack but can't focus enough to finish doing anything about it.
I can relate to the direction this thread has taken in the last couple of posts. I, too, grew up pretty poor and have spent the last couple of decades, uh, making up for it. Often to my own detriment and feeling of being trapped. Or maybe more accurately the feeling that I'm running out of time even though I surely have plenty.
I also can relate to a relatively recent armchair ADHD diagnosis:
About a year ago, my wife was talking to Scott and Angie, friends of ours that we met through our kids being friends. They're some of the nicest people we've ever met, and my wife was surprised when Angie confessed that Scott just drives her crazy sometimes. My wife couldn't believe that was possible and asked why, and Angie started describing all of the little ways that Scott's behavior drove her nuts. My wife's jaw dropped further and further as the story went on, as she was basically having her own husband described to her in perfect detail.
Then Angie said things got way better when Scott was diagnosed with ADHD and it was explained to her that he really can't help it and that's just the way that he is. She learned to be more understanding. The good news for me is that without even seeing somebody about it, I've gotten the same longer runway! Angie's description so perfectly matched literally every way I annoy my own wife that she was willing to diagnose me on the spot herself and has cut me a ton more slack since.
I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing...
hardtop5000
Well-known member
A man can’t get by without a house and furniture or a workshop and tools or a base for his professional operation, especially if he has dependants. If he sold or burnt down everything, he’d just have to start again.
The enduring problem that some of us recognise is the pile of outstanding projects that (a) are not currently usable without repair, (b) have lost their immediate appeal and (c) need time, energy and cash that’s not available. Those opportunities maybe came cheaply, the satisfying result is visible in the middle distance and the finished thing would definitely be useful. But . . . not now. Not today, and probably not next week. Later.
For attention-compromised people, there are layers to this “Later” imbroglio. We crave the kick that comes with the new hot prospect – that craving might be a need, an addiction, that will take us down a bad path if it’s ignored for too long. If we’ve been through rough times with relationships, health and/or job stuff, we feel damn well entitled to indulge it. Storage for the projects is a problem, often because creating, upgrading and organising the storage space is another unfinished project. But we’ll get to it . . . later.
(”Later”, of course, is easy to believe when you’re young. After age 50 or 55, it’s a less comforting thought.)
I imagine that in Gregor’s case, the fact that his profession calls for irregular hours and days-long absences is another complication. When he gets home, his people need his urgent attention; after that, no doubt there are personal and professional administrative tasks that always need to be zipped up. Exercise and therapy must not be neglected. A social life is vital. Projects come . . . later.
The way forward for anyone in this situation doesn’t start with a clean-out or a bonfire. It has to start with the hard work to understand your strengths and weaknesses, your triggers and reflexes . . . the patterns and processes that have shaped the situation over time. There must be a rigorous investigation – but not an indictment or a prosecution. (That’s what bosses and ex-partners are for.)
Doing the homework is the way to make the lessons stick. Bypassing it is an invitation to let the old patterns take over when temptation knocks . . . later.
The enduring problem that some of us recognise is the pile of outstanding projects that (a) are not currently usable without repair, (b) have lost their immediate appeal and (c) need time, energy and cash that’s not available. Those opportunities maybe came cheaply, the satisfying result is visible in the middle distance and the finished thing would definitely be useful. But . . . not now. Not today, and probably not next week. Later.
For attention-compromised people, there are layers to this “Later” imbroglio. We crave the kick that comes with the new hot prospect – that craving might be a need, an addiction, that will take us down a bad path if it’s ignored for too long. If we’ve been through rough times with relationships, health and/or job stuff, we feel damn well entitled to indulge it. Storage for the projects is a problem, often because creating, upgrading and organising the storage space is another unfinished project. But we’ll get to it . . . later.
(”Later”, of course, is easy to believe when you’re young. After age 50 or 55, it’s a less comforting thought.)
I imagine that in Gregor’s case, the fact that his profession calls for irregular hours and days-long absences is another complication. When he gets home, his people need his urgent attention; after that, no doubt there are personal and professional administrative tasks that always need to be zipped up. Exercise and therapy must not be neglected. A social life is vital. Projects come . . . later.
The way forward for anyone in this situation doesn’t start with a clean-out or a bonfire. It has to start with the hard work to understand your strengths and weaknesses, your triggers and reflexes . . . the patterns and processes that have shaped the situation over time. There must be a rigorous investigation – but not an indictment or a prosecution. (That’s what bosses and ex-partners are for.)
Doing the homework is the way to make the lessons stick. Bypassing it is an invitation to let the old patterns take over when temptation knocks . . . later.
Horror Business
Well-known member
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2014
- Messages
- 511
I would like the previous post twice, if I could.
I totally relate to what hardtop5000 is saying. Not saying I've conquered it myself, but, knowing your strengths and weaknesses AND introspective examination
Great post.
BobL.
is a must. We, or at least I am my own worst and harshest critic. I don't deserve that but still find myself doing it.
Great post.
BobL.
67CarGuy
Well-known member
The self-reflection and introspection here is great to see. If these posts can help a few more of us to realize our own worth, get out from under a mental cloud, or provide the final kick in the pants to finish a project (or decide a certain project just isn't worth the time, money, and/or energy!), then we can take some pride in having made some progress.
While we're on the subject of personal growth and awareness, etc., several years ago I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In it he writes the following:
"Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good. When you wake up refreshed and energized in the morning, your best will be better than when you are tired at night. Your best will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick, or sober as opposed to drunk. Your best will depend on whether you are feeling wonderful and happy, or upset, angry, or jealous.
... In your everyday moods your best can change from one moment to another, from one hour to the next, from one day to another. Your best will also change over time.
...Regardless of the quality, keep doing your best -- no more and no less than your best. If you try too hard to do more than your best, you will spend more energy than is needed and in the end your best will not be enough. When you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself, and it will take longer to accomplish your goal. But if you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self-judgement, guilt, and regrets.
Just do your best -- in any circumstance in your life. It doesn't matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don't judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under."
It might read a bit new-agey, but I encourage you to read it again. Read it with an open mind. I'm not saying you need to agree with it, but consider the sentiment and the intent of the words. (Gregor, my apologies for the length of the excerpt. I'll get off my soapbox for now.)
Alex
While we're on the subject of personal growth and awareness, etc., several years ago I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In it he writes the following:
"Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good. When you wake up refreshed and energized in the morning, your best will be better than when you are tired at night. Your best will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick, or sober as opposed to drunk. Your best will depend on whether you are feeling wonderful and happy, or upset, angry, or jealous.
... In your everyday moods your best can change from one moment to another, from one hour to the next, from one day to another. Your best will also change over time.
...Regardless of the quality, keep doing your best -- no more and no less than your best. If you try too hard to do more than your best, you will spend more energy than is needed and in the end your best will not be enough. When you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself, and it will take longer to accomplish your goal. But if you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self-judgement, guilt, and regrets.
Just do your best -- in any circumstance in your life. It doesn't matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don't judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under."
It might read a bit new-agey, but I encourage you to read it again. Read it with an open mind. I'm not saying you need to agree with it, but consider the sentiment and the intent of the words. (Gregor, my apologies for the length of the excerpt. I'll get off my soapbox for now.)
Alex
bimmer1980
Well-known member
I appreciate the explanations, guys. I think I resemble much of that too. It helps to know some of the root causes, etc.
I will say that some of what has contributed to some of my issues or challenges is the device I hold in my hand typing this response.... life was simpler when the internet wasn't so readily available.
I'm working my way through a book called "Stolen Focus". It has been eye opening. I need to finish it, but I've been busy with a few other books..... Ken Follet is a bit more relaxing to read before bed instead of all the issues in our sounding area, etc...
Regardless, it's helpful to know a person isn't the only one struggling with getting things done, etc.
My thoughts are with you on dealing with your sister. I'm sure that is challenging and frustrating, but hopefully you can still enjoy the good moments too.
I will say that some of what has contributed to some of my issues or challenges is the device I hold in my hand typing this response.... life was simpler when the internet wasn't so readily available.
I'm working my way through a book called "Stolen Focus". It has been eye opening. I need to finish it, but I've been busy with a few other books..... Ken Follet is a bit more relaxing to read before bed instead of all the issues in our sounding area, etc...
Regardless, it's helpful to know a person isn't the only one struggling with getting things done, etc.
My thoughts are with you on dealing with your sister. I'm sure that is challenging and frustrating, but hopefully you can still enjoy the good moments too.
kaymccampbell
Well-known member
I'm with you on the 4 agreements. It's a good read. I have a copy.
Motoman1100
Well-known member
This is such a true statement. I see there are many on this forum that feel the same way. My wife tells me all the time that she can't believe that I can fix or do about anything. Because of this ability, and the fact that I'm cheap, I'm usually stuck fixing or doing everything.... And yes, it's tiring.
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Motoman1100
Well-known member
LOL... man this is true!
Bob Heine
ALLIANCE MEMBER
Sixty five years ago a gorgeous redhead standing outside the side door of our church offered to sell me cookies. We became friends in spite of me having no money in my pocket to buy said cookies. On our second meeting she mentioned her bicycle was broken. I walked the six miles to her house, lubricated and adjusted the wheel bearings and re-conncdted the chain, straightened the handlebars and adjusted the brakes. She married me three years later, based on her belief I could fix anything. I know I have disappointed her many many times but she remembers that bicycle and I get a pass.
SilverJimmy
Well-known member
So your real name is Charlie Brown?!
Geoff289
Well-known member
I think you both lucked out Bob.
I was on a red eye last night reading a book on real estate investing. The author wrote that the most important member of your team is your spouse. Even if they’re not actively contributing anything to the project, your relationship with them and their support for you sets the tone for your day.
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Wreckster23
Well-known member
Man, as self proclaimed add, that all hits home. My biggest crutch is not putting everything back properly after a project. I’ll usually get things finished but leave all the tools and such in a pile. Nvm the list of projects. I’ll go through spurts of knocking out some of the smaller projects to just shorten the list.
I have a feeling a great many of us on here have some sorts skmething going on, but that just makes it more fun.
I have a feeling a great many of us on here have some sorts skmething going on, but that just makes it more fun.
I used to take some time every so often to only work on the last 5% of projects. Put up that last piece of trim, touch up the paint on the wall I scuffed installed the trim, etc. Had to try and make a game of it. It was always a good feeling at the end of the day that I finally finished a bunch of projects and could take it off my mental list of things I should be doing.
Wreckster23
Well-known member
half the battle. Today I have free time, I don't know which project I will focus on, but I have about 5 that I want to get my hands into. I need to focus on one and be good with that.
last 15 posts....interesting. no one has ever suggested to me I have ADHD/ADD, but the old "I finished more than 50% of the project, but something else intervened and I never got back to it...." suggests a maybe. think I'll have a chat with my new GP in a week or so when we first meet (the old one retired)
bunks-tj
Well-known member
the old I get and the more informed I get the more I am convinced I am that I have ADD too. when I was in school it was never diagnosed now it is over diagnosed.
Reposting and quoting the whole thing because, like so much of the contributions here, it's valuable and insightful. I've been carving out time to get back to the gym and to riding because my mental health collapse without that. My girlfriend Katie has been very supportive and most of all reliable. I think it's been hard for me to trust someone just accepting me. She doesn't judge me if the house is dirty or things aren't put away. It's been a nice change.
Also, Bob, your stories never fail to amaze me. Thanks!
I've been in the weeds the past few weeks trying to get the trailer set for Lara. She shows up, she leaves, she shows up and complains about the trailer, then leaves. I'm doing my best to have patience and to also make things better for her. I'm also struggling with trying to take away her car.
My brother and I discussed it and possibly "disabling" it but he suggested not gas lighting her and being honest. I tried that and was met with a string of invectives, "Oh, is that what's happening? I don't think so because I've not been diagnosed with dementia so no one has told me I can't drive and so I can!" and she's right. It's been 7 months trying to get her "neurological assessment" which would include the doctor revoking her license and an actual diagnosis that would open up her ability to get disability.
Moving on...
To pull off the tarp I needed to do the two broken roof vents.
The view above includes the two smashed corner panels that need to be replaced but are a larger project than I have time for right now.
I had ordered the roof vent a year ago and had to find it and then paint the inside...
Both the brackets were smashed but salvageable - smashed on right and fixed on left.
The first effort to get the gasket on was the peel and stick adhesive on it. The foam gasket was several years old at this point so that didn't work. Next, because I wanted to just get this done, I tried to hot glue it on. That just peeled up the new paint. "There's never time to do it right but there's always time to do it over... " is the quote that came to mind as I collected all my clamps, ran a bead of GOOP and accepted this becoming a two day project.
Then I started to look at the water damage inside. There is a collapsing floor at the front door and a leaking o-ring filled the toilet with water and Lara didn't think to flush it or tell me until it had completely flooded the bathroom.
The other part of the project dilemma is one I know you know; to get rid of a project you need to fix it or lose your shirt. Sell the trailer now? Maybe it's worth $1000-2000 because of the issues of the roof and floor. The $3000-4000 that I spent on other repairs, the resealed windows, the repaired roof seams, the new appliances, the endless hours of labor don't offset the crushed roof and soft floor.
Fix those things and maybe it's worth $8-10k which is just enough to cover the costs of all the work and repairs. It's a lot of work but it's the only way to not lose your shirt.
Trapped.
The other part of this is that when you finally do put in the effort and fix all the things you're invested. Sunk costs. Why sell it now? Everything finally works - why not enjoy it? And so you keep it and then a tree falls on it. The cycle repeats.
The advice of a girlfriend I respect (and my therapist) was to just pay someone to do the things that are a burden. She's right. I know that. The van needed a new blower motor. I took it in and they asked if they should troubleshoot it for $189. No, I checked the fuses, the fan just needs to be replaced. They did and it didn't work so now I have to pay the $189 and the install and it was (maybe?) a broken switch. So it ended up being $800.
The side door quit working - the cable broke. I asked them to replace that but again, $189 to look at it. The door was open, the cover panel off - just look. Nope, $189. For the record I hate these fuckers because it's a service writer between me and the mechanic. His job is to get $189 for anything and everything. If I could talk to the mechanic we'd skip that ***** and his $189 and I'd just pay the fair rate for the actual repair.
Angry about the fan I decided to fix the door myself. Ordered the cable ferrules (common failure) and then opened the door from the inside and proceeded to take it apart, replace all the cable ferrules and put the door back together. It took me 3 hours and now the door doesn't open from the outside OR the inside! Grrr.
Again, giving up, I decide this isn't and was never worth my time. I call 4 body shops and no one will touch the van because it's more than 20 years old. I can't find an old school mechanic who can just fix things but I'm loathe to spend more time on it.
Trapped. Again.
So instead of wasting my day on the door again I'm going to turn to a project that I've promised Nadia that I would do for her for about two months... Make her a shelf for her skateboard. Buy hardware store brackets? No. Can't do that.
Probably should do that but I can't.
Gregor
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nicholam77
Well-known member
That actually sounds like a great idea to me. I know switching to something else feeds into the project-hopping that was being discussed, but when the other projects are daunting, miserable, or frustrating, sometimes an easy win can be necessary to reset. Plus, in my opinion, you can never go wrong making something special for your kid.
Judging by the responses here it seems like there's a lot of relatability to the ADD / ADHD sentiment, but I also think even without that component, it's just human nature that it's difficult to follow through. Projects are hard. Especially on your level of workmanship. It's often easier to start something new than finish something, and certainly when it's on a large scale (the house, the motorcycles, the van, the trailer). ADHD or not. I've been following your thread since the beginning, and the amount of intricate, large-scale projects you have finished... is astounding. So don't forget that!
That's