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Morbid thoughts

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theoldwizard1

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Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
43,072
Location
SE MI
Over 60, still gathering "stuff". Got an M12 Fuel 3/8" impact and 3/8" hammer drill for Christmas. Of course I had to order Sunex 3/8" impact sockets and Drill Hog 3/8" Drill Bit Set with Huot index. I think I will wait a month before order some carbide masonry bits.

Sadly, neither my son or son-in-law would use/enjoy these things as much as I do. Maybe the grandkids.
 

Westozfixer

Banned
Joined
Oct 22, 2016
Messages
190
Location
Western Australia
When my grandmother died we moved all of my grandfathers tools etc and all of her house contents to my dads, when dad died mum had me and my brother clean up and downsize a bit. When mum passed at the start of the year I loaded a container full of gear and have just moved it to where I hope to be moving soon. On top of all of my other stuff I will have a rather large job of sorting/storing/scrapping to do when I move, but like someone has previously said, when you're dead you want have to care.
 

driftpin

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Joined
Dec 22, 2016
Messages
11,178
Location
Miami-Dade/Broward Co. Florida
Tomorrow I'm going to the funeral of a fellow firefighter from Miami-Dade County, FL. He died of leukemia after maybe 5 years of retirement. No kids, but he did have a live-in girlfriend of 26 years. No common-law marriages here now, generally. He had a will, and between his paid-for home in a beachside city, land in Savannah GA, and more land in MT, and all his investment accounts, he probably had a good seven-figure portfolio.

Ken had a bunch of tools, he was a carpenter before going into the fire service, and he used to do things on the side as the incentive hit him. His 'sisters-in-law' my other retired firefighter friend said, took advantage of his good nature. His girlfriend would always tell he sisters, "oh, let Kenny do that (re-model, fence, bathroom, etc) he'll do it much-cheaper that you'd have to pay!" Because Ken loved her, he would do the work.

So, one day, Ken got done building a privacy fence all the way around the backyard for one of his 'sisters-in-law.' Her husband came home, went into the back yard, and looked things over, and began complaining about something having to do with a gate. Ken heard this, and stormed-off, thundering, "never again!" And that was it for the mooching 'sisters-in-law.'

Ken's will said that his friends could come to his home, and they were allowed to take whatever they wanted. This included guns, tools, and a Harley-Davidson Twin-Cam FL dresser. They were mentioned by name. My buddy who is going to speak at the funeral tomorrow is one of the named friends of the deceased. He told me today, "the Director of the Miami-Dade County Fire Department is sending to the funeral the aerial engine Ken drove on the job the last couple of years before he retired." I know the Chief, he's a real stand-up guy. That's going to be a great send-off. Even though Ken wasn't a 'line-of-duty death,' he's going to get a multiple engine company send-off from multiple jurisdictions. A fire service tradition is having a bagpiper play, his bagpiper is going to the Trump inauguration shortly, he was invited to play there.

Ken was a good guy, he did his work well, he took his job seriously, and he's entitled to receive the honor of his co-workers whatever their jurisdiction, paying him their respects.

Ken's taken a good way-out to deal with the accumulation of tools and other possessions. Something to consider, and not much different from what some of the GJ members have proposed.
 
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minytrker

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Joined
Sep 19, 2012
Messages
1,377
Location
Brenham TX
My wife is an only child and my FIL always jokes about what I am going to do with with all his junk and vehicles. He is kinda a junk hoarder. The on going joke is a bulldozer and a big hole, lol.
 

BobsurUncle

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Joined
Dec 4, 2010
Messages
130
Location
Tracy, Ca.
I inherited my dad's place over 4 years ago. It's just now that I'm getting through his shop stuff. Between mine and his that intermingled, it's way to much. I just had a pacemaker put in, and it has really got me fired up to scale this stuff back. Hopefully I still have a few more years left, I'm only 44 for ****'s sake.
 

Ancient Iron

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Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
1,195
Location
Nobody Knows
I'm afraid my wife might order a 40 yard dumpster when I seize up, throw me in it and all my tools motorcycle and car parts in on top of me and call the truck.
I told her don't spend money on me throw me in a dumpster like that guy Frenchie in the Movie Goodfella's
 

MushCreek

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Jan 14, 2015
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9,736
Location
Upstate South Carolina
If you care about your stuff at all, or care about the people you're gonna leave it to, it's good to get organized. We hit a crisis with my mother, and the one thing we didn't have was time. She was a borderline hoarder, and had a lot of antiques.

Although she was in her mid 80's, and living alone, we figured everything was fine- until she broke her hip.

She had to move and sell her house. As luck would have it, it sold quickly, to a buyer who wanted it RIGHT NOW. The house was in poor shape, and it was during a lousy real estate market, so we couldn't get choosy.

No one had the time to go through all of her stuff, so my brother rented a truck and spent three days moving what he could. Probably a lot of money lost, and very difficult and inconvenient.

She passed this last year, and we went through it all over again, albeit on a much smaller scale.

Of course, if I passed right now, I'd be leaving my family in much the same situation. My son knows what tools I have, and what they're worth. He'd probably keep many of them. But I have collections of old iron that I really need to pare down. I have about 15 antique outboard motors, and need- none. I've moved away from an area of active collectors, so there's no one to show them to. I also have a collection of old Cub Cadet garden tractors, but they're all apart. Need to clean 'em up and finish one to play with, and get rid of the rest. The list goes on and on.

There's nothing to worry about, though. I'm 63, and in good shape. So was a friend of mine, who cashed in his chips at age 55- sudden heart attack. Ya never know...
 

DaveIRL

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Joined
May 21, 2016
Messages
319
another morbid thing i found is that in some cases the funeral taker will remove old teeth or prosthetic parts and keep them, think about it you never see a poor director, also what happens to the shoes
 

ScottsGT

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Joined
Jan 1, 2014
Messages
4,883
Location
Lake Wateree, SC
I guess we all have these issues......
Mom just moved into a retirement community/assisted living. Her last home was hers for 6 years and a QVC hoarder. So now I have boxes of **** to move to her storage facility until she either lets me sell them or she passes and they go in the dumpster.

Her last home was hers and dads for 30+ years. It was a disaster. My brother moved her out of town next to him and he called up the junk guy and had everything in the house and shop hauled off after he told us to go through and get what we wanted out.

And of course I come by it honestly. I have a small gun collection, lots of photography gear, a huge stash of scale models I build, a garage slam full of tools to include a lot of wood working tools and a restored '66 Mustang GT Fastback.

I've bought a lot of tools for the youngest since he's going to school to be a mechanic, so I'm leaving all mine to the oldest. If he gets settled in to a home in the near future I'll probably go ahead and pass them on to him long before I'm dead and gone.

I told the wife the built models and display case can go to the local ROTC class at the high school around the corner. The kits can be sold off or given away. There are some expensive ones in there, just don't toss them in the dumpster.

Of course everyone is fighting over the '66. I honestly think I might have to sell it off to keep the family from fighting over it.

Photography gear can be split between youngest son and oldest daughter if she's interested. Son really has picked it up as a hobby.

Hmmmm....this thread has me thinking I need to start the will writing.
 

justanengineer

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Apr 5, 2011
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7,722
Location
Motor City
Having dealt with this many times over, I've told the wife simply to make sure the inherited box goes to whomever is left and to call one of the auctioneers we are friendly with to dispose of the remainder. Dealing with a spouse's passing is difficult enough, I dont want her feeling guilty as many widows do over disposing of things "improperly." Commonly, a guy who's spent 40 years harping over the value and care of his tools/toys leaves an unrealistic "value" list which the widow then feels emotionally obligated to get. I've dealt with many selling tools/toys worth ~75% of asking immediately after the passing, but after they've sat unsold in an unheated (you thought the heat would stay on after you're gone?), damp, rarely opened garage a year or three the value is comparably little. The only thing worse than the angry new widow who thinks you're trying to take advantage is the crying widow a couple years later begging for half your previous offer bc her husband's treasures are now a rusty mess. Sadly, a '34 Plymouth that's had mice living in it, with dry rotted/flat tires, a tank full of bad gas, corroded shiny parts, and a seized engine wasnt worth nearly the same as the decent driver it was previously.
 

bczygan

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Joined
Nov 4, 2009
Messages
22,002
Location
DETROIT! Arsenal of Scrappers
I'm afraid my wife might order a 40 yard dumpster when I seize up, throw me in it and all my tools motorcycle and car parts in on top of me and call the truck.
I told her don't spend money on me throw me in a dumpster like that guy Frenchie in the Movie Goodfella's

I'm afraid my wife already has the dumpster on order....!
 
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ForceFed70

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Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
3,441
Location
BC, Canada
Grandpa passed away a couple of years ago. He grew up during the depression and it killed him to throw anything away that might actually have a use. He had a 12 acre farm with about 3 acres of it being "Junkyard".

I remember talking to him about all the "stuff" and him flat out saying to me. "You guys are going to have to clear this all out when I die. I can't do it." At the time, I brushed it off as so far away it might as well be never. Alas, he went the way of many farmers before him - unsafe farming equipment ended his life in an instant :(

Man what a job to clean up. I'll never do that to my kids/grandkids. Ever had to dispose of a 42' fiberglass sailboat hull? It's not fricken easy! Tonnes of scrap metal, 2 rotted out campers, 2 travel trailers, many old farm trucks and farm equipment, monster piles of old/used fence posts, etc.

A shop full of valuable tools - it's not that bad. Just make sure your survivors have someone who knows tools and can help. Don't leave an inventory with values for your wife. Chances are it'll be 10yo when you actually die and not accurate. Plus your wife won't be into it anyway.
 
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Shiftless

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Mar 9, 2014
Messages
14,444
Location
East Bay SFO
My wife and her 2 out of state sisters had to go through their parents' home of 62 years. A 4 bedroom house with a full basement chock full of stuff from the already mentioned "children of the depression" mentality. Included was THEIR parents photos and memorabilia.
That took over a year, but the bright side was that real estate values improved over that time.
The son-in-law with the biggest garage got the Taiwanese drill press and the low end Craftsman 3tier toolbox. And since he didn't have a vise, I told him to grab the big 1940's vintage American Scale bench vise.
My wife hired an estate sale company to get rid of all the household stuff that none of the sisters wanted.
Anything that didn't sell got donated.
Large crappy stuff that couldn't be donated was stacked up in the garage and listed in the "FREE" category on Craigslist.
It was amazing to see people show up with trucks and trailers and just take away absolutely everything.
Two minutes with a broom and it was ready to list with a local realtor.
 

mikegt4

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Joined
Sep 12, 2005
Messages
3,262
Location
sw ohio
I am still going through my parent's stuff. It's been 17 years since my mom passed and I just sold the house to my daughter/SIL and they need the space. My parents grew up during the depression so I have everything including the proverbial "ball of string". It hurts to throw anything out as it all reminds me of them and all the family that is gone, my mom was one of 11 kids. My kids have absolutely no interest in family history or anything that they won't use in the next month so they are going to have to look at the same items when I go. I don't plan on selling anything off, all my tools, cars etc. will go to my son, my daughter wants only cash! My dad was a lifelong model railroader but he donated his layout (which filled the basement) to a local model RR club, all I have left is a Shay engine and some cars. He built all his own stuff but abandoned the hobby when his eyesight failed. My parents did have a fair size collection of John Ruthven wildlife art that I definitely will keep.

I hope it doesn't end up like my friend who flew back to OH from CA upon his mother's death only to find his entire family history including his mothers wedding dress and photo albums already sitting at the curb.
 

FullRaceMerc

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Jan 9, 2015
Messages
3,830
Location
SoCal (SGV)
I remember as a kid when my grandmother started asking us what of her stuff we wanted. She had a lot of antiques that had been passed down to her. It creeped us out. But when she passed years later she had notes taped under & behind stuff explaining its history & who it should go to. It made that task a lot easier on us.

I told my kids that the stuff in the garage is important to what I do. When I'm not doing it anymore it can be disposed of without ceremony. They'll use good sense with the tools & not have to worry about pieces that I have around for my crazy things.

The Cyclone goes to my son. The Falcon convertible goes to my daughter.
 

jeeper46

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Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
479
Location
Canton, Mi
When I helped my cousins clean out their mothers house, we set all the unwanted furniture out by the street. It was usually gone by the time we came out with another piece! We had a few guys wait while we brought out more stuff. By the next day, there was nothing out by the street at all. Times are tough in a lot of places, and people will take what they can get, especially when it's free.
I have a small hobby of collecting sets of color slides taken in the Far East in the 1950s. Almost every single set of slides has come to me via an estate sale, and a couple of historically significant sets were actually rescued from the trash by an ebay picker who saw a value that the people clearing out Dads old junk didn't.
 

crewchief888

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Dec 3, 2009
Messages
13,736
Location
NW indiana
to me, it's not morbid at all

we're all gonna have to go sometime

the wife and i just had this discussion last week after returning from my uncles funeral.
they had lived in their house 50 years, i can just imagine the arguments that are going to start when they start clearing the house out.

most of my stuff doesnt hold any sentimental value to her, for the most part it was around before she was. i'm the "baby" of my family (i'm 58) and most of my relatives are gone.

her kids can have whatever of mine they want, my only request is that they keep/use it and someday pass it along...
most of the non tool stuff in the garage can be thrown in the dumpster, my s-10 blazer is to be parted out/scrapped. guns will probably be sold along with the rest of my tools...

:beer:
 

isb cornbinder

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Nov 3, 2010
Messages
7,073
Location
Pacific South West, BC, Canada
My daughter is an Canadian Red Seal Mechanic. She is very capable to take over a shop like mine and have as much fun with it as I have had. My son, the jury is still out on this...........................
 

myredracer

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Joined
Nov 1, 2015
Messages
557
Location
Langley, BC
I'm coming up on 64. Don't feel a whole lot older but the light at the end of the tunnel def. seems to be getting closer day by day. Finally have started restoring a couple of vintage cars I've had for a very long time. Collected a ton of parts for them for 10-15 years and some are ultra rare. Have most car-related tools I need and if I don't, just go out and buy what I need. Also have a collection of woodworking/carpentry tools. Have one son who is a carpenter by trade and the other is a vintage car enthusiast so they will get some nice stuff. They better flippin' appreciate it all...

What worries me most about the stuff in my shop is all the car parts. Worth a lot of $$ today. Have tagged most of it in case I don't complete the 2 cars. I'm now working furiously to get the cars finished otherwise they could be lost on what all the stuff is.

My wife has been using the local Facebook bidding wars site and getting rid of all kinds of stuff we don't use anymore. She just leaves the small stuff in a bin in our driveway for folks to come and get. Depending on what it is, some has to go on CL. A few things will need to go on ebay but that's such a PITA now.

What scares me the most is not about expiring and leaving a bunch of **** behind for someone to deal with. It's that I do NOT want to end up in a nursing home after having been in & out of our parent's care homes for the past 5 years. Got diagnosed with prostate cancer a year ago (only stage 1 and get regular checks) and sure don't want to go through a drawn out and painful process in the end. Has made some things seem more urgent - gotta get them cars finished first, even if it kills me, lol... :)
 
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Hilltopmasonry

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Joined
Oct 12, 2015
Messages
2,166
I read an incredible story about a couple that has been married for 45 years. When they were first married he was drafted to go to Vietnam and they consistently wrote love letters to each other.

Now that they are older all those letters are extremely personal and they did not want their family members to go through and read these letters that they've kept for so long. So one night on their anniversary they sat and drink wine in front of the fireplace reading the letters and as they were done with each one they threw it into the fireplace

It makes me think that everyone of us has something personal that we don't want family members to know about. And as we get older the reality is some day someone has to deal with our stuff when we leave


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Joined
Jun 30, 2011
Messages
1,080
Location
AZ
My nephew can't wait until he inherits my tools. He's in my will and he calls me a couple times a month to check in to see how I'm doing.
 

holdover

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Joined
Feb 15, 2011
Messages
750
Location
VA
71 and the clock seems to be running quicker. Ton of guy stuff but my son is into the same things I am. He'll keep what he wants and sell the rest, heck he has a gift of buying something for one price and selling it for twice that amount on Craig's list. His sons are following the same path so I have no worries, actually happy to add to his financial resources after I'm gone.
 

crerus75

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Joined
May 2, 2011
Messages
301
I inherited a bunch of stuff from a family member that was a borderline hoarder. By "inherited" I mean that I had to clean out a basement full of junk. Some of it was good stuff that I kept, but I filled a dumpster to overflowing with obsolete technical manuals, VCRs and other electronics that had been taken apart, and stuff that had just rusted away in a damp basement. Not this person's fault-- they thought they had more time, and it ran out on them.

It's been over a decade and I still have stuff to get rid of. I'll probably sell some of it, but I've donated quite a bit to the local Goodwill. With luck, someone who is just starting (or maybe restarting) will be able to use some of my old screwdrivers, wrenches, or whatever to bootstrap themselves up a bit. Hey, a guy can dream, right?

I've also become pretty ruthless about getting rid of stuff. I don't need five grease guns or six caulking guns. I don't need "a pair and a spare" for everything. How many Delta faucet rebuild kits do you need if you don't even have a Delta faucet in the house? Donating all the stuff I don't use makes it easier to find the stuff I DO use.

When I'm gone, I don't care if they drag the stuff that's left into the yard, pour a gallon of kerosene on it, and sacrifice it to the Norse gods. It means more to me than it ever will to anyone else, and expecting someone else to give it the same level of attention that I would is like my deceased family member expecting me to hang onto those old VCRs just because they never got around to fixing them up.
 
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