Old shop sayiings

[Danglerb]

Found this link, funny, but not PG
http://www.loganact.com/tips/shopsay.htm

 

[walrus]

"numb'er than a pounded thumb"

 

[Uncle Buck]

When the S_ _ t hits the fan I call that getting wrapped around the flywheel!

 

[goodfellow]

They forgot the machinist's technical term with regard to a press fit

.... "tighter than a gnats ***"

 

[zuspiel]

Thanks for making my lunch enjoyable... now pass me that Crescent hammer...

 

[Danglerb]

I liked;

Harder than Chinese arithmetic
trying to shove a wet noodle up a tiger's ...

 

[Scooterfish]

sign in service station I worked at in the 70s

Our credit manager is Helen Waite. If you need credit go to Hell and wait!

 

[Frank Elson]

yes, the noodle one is my favourite...

 

[v8garage]

There's an old saying from the Texas oil fields. When something is real tight they would say that's "Oil field tight". The definition of "Oil field tight" is "Get it as tight as you possibly can and then go one more round".

 

[nissan_crawler]

When beating a dent out of a plane..."Looks good from 40,000 feet"

When working on a plane..."Just put it together, it's not like it's a motorcycle."

"Put enough power behind it, you can make a brick fly."

"The only thing that will do is get you to the crash site quicker."

"Beat to fit, paint to match."

 

[r6_cannibal]

see signature

 

[krusty the clown]

f@*k it........my truck runs.........

 

[seth_man]

"crossthread is better than locktite"

 

[garfunkle24]

If you're not gonna do it half-assed, don't even bother.

 

[zuspiel]

When beating a dent out of a plane..."Looks good from 40,000 feet"

When working on a plane..."Just put it together, it's not like it's a motorcycle."

"Put enough power behind it, you can make a brick fly."

"The only thing that will do is get you to the crash site quicker."

"Beat to fit, paint to match."

I didn't think you worked on skydiving planes...

We had one weekend where a fellow jumper (friend of mine and AP) had to beat the starter of the right engine with a deadblow every time we wanted to start it up (King Air)...

 

[krusty the clown]

he's not a fast mechanic and he's not a slow mechanic...........he's a halfasst mechanic

 

[zuspiel]

I think you're talking about me...

 

[Frank Elson]

How tight should it be?
Tighten it until the threads tear out. Then back it off half a turn.

 

[3 at 8]

Eliemay clamp it

 

[dxdexter]

Here's a few a grew up with:

That's good enough for government work

A man with two watches never knows the right time

Handy as a pocket in a tee shirt.

You'll never notice that at 60mph

Hotter than the hinges of hell

If it doesn't fit get a bigger hammer.

Hotwrench: Acetylene torch

Thumb wrench: Adjustable Wrench

 

[davestlouis]

Worked with a guy in a body shop, and whenever he got in trouble with the boss, he said "I got my ***** smacked"

 

[jjkrjh]

We had a mig welder at the shop that didn't work very well. It was known as the bubble gum machine. If somebody welds something that doesn't look very good, its normal to hear "you got the Big League Chew on there didn't you"

 

[bayou985]

Move it a c*nt hair....up,down,left,right.....Ya heard Me??

 

[charlie_nj]

A couple of my late dad's:

If the tool ain't right, the guy ain't too bright.

and

You'll never see that from an airplane.

 

[Stephenw]

The Government workers motto...

Nothing new after two.

 

[Elroy]

Blue torque

You know, so tight you're blue in the face

 

[Elroy]

Move it a c*nt hair....up,down,left,right.....Ya heard Me??

Would that be Red or Blond?

 

[FakeName]

adjust it just an RCH to the right.

 

[rcleaver]

It was so cold out, I was shakin' like a dog shittin' razor blades.

 

[davestlouis]

That guy was meaner than a broke-**** dog...that came from my beloved grandfather, but he worked in a shop, so it counts.

 

[Elroy]

OK, We see where this is going now:

Have you ever had a Boss that was so tight that his foreskin slid back when he smiled ??

Now that's tight.

 

[daveblank]

OK, We see where this is going now:

Have you ever had a Boss that was so tight that his foreskin slid back when he smiled ??

Now that's tight.

That's almost as good as

"I had trouble sleeping last night"
"Why? did you have a hard on that kept you from closing your eyes?"



I really have heard this one
"I don't see anything wrong with re-checks. To me they're nothing more than job security"

 

[daveblank]

Body shop saying on one that's pretty bad

"don't worry, it will buff right out"

 

[ZRX61]

One I use:
Looks like you're doing the work of two men....



... Laurel & Hardy....

 

[beelsr]

my father-in-law has loads of these old-time sayings:

when doing something half-assed and not with much precision: you're not building the trigger for a nuclear bomb.

when he's getting started: well, i'm going to go do something, even if it's wrong.

and my favorites: you look like the cat's breakfast -or- you look like the last chapter of what's the use.

 

[Frank Elson]

If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.
If you can't fix it with a hammer it'll be an electrical problem.

 

[garfunkle24]

If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.
If you can't fix it with a hammer it'll be an electrical problem.

My Grandad used nearly exactly the same sayings, but he was a farmer so they differed slightly:

If it moves and shouldn't, weld it.
It it doesn't move and should, use WD40.
For everything else there's bailer twine.

 

[goodfellow]

Old saying about when things are going right on a project -

..."now we're shittin' in high cotton"....

 

[nightrain00]

For when the bosses are making something way more complicated then it has to be ..."It's not like were shooting monkeys into orbit here"...And my personal favorite cleaned up a little ..."if it has ***** or wheels it will give you problems"...

 

[mkdive]

For when the bosses are making something way more complicated then it has to be ..."It's not like were shooting monkeys into orbit here"...And my personal favorite cleaned up a little ..."if it has ***** or wheels it will give you problems"...

good ones, subscribed to this thread...lots of these had me laughing hard. Good times!