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Project Crackhead Table

gc11090

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
290
Backstory:

When I moved to Augusta, purchased my first house (and first garage) I was heavy into garage sales and craigslisting. My house and garage were my only hobbies. Fast forward a few years and my now hobby of competitive rifle shooting have taken over most of my free time. When I was heavy craigslisting I ran across a hot tub on craigslist I wanted to go check out. They had it listed for $50, and being 25, single, and in a new town I 100% needed this hot tub for the ladies.

When I arrived at the address and met the skinny lady with all sorts of open sores on her face to look at the hot tub I quickly realized there was no amount of bleach in the world that would make this hot tub clean enough to immerse my body in. Then I noticed in the monstrous piles of junk on the deck around the trailer a green Snapon hard handle ratchet and asked if it was for sale. She said "well its his..... stuff..... and I need to get enough money to get his.... ****.... out of jail, so yes"

At this point the mission changed. I started looking around for tools and ended up filling a wheelbarrow with all sorts of useful stuff. Anything I found that said Snapon, MAC, or Matco, a nice router, and some other stuff I can't remember. Let me see if I can find some pic. Then I saw a Ryobi table saw sitting on a table over in the corner. That was for sale as well. We agreed on a price and I went to pick it up, that is when I realized it was screwed down to the ghetto looking table. At that point the lady said "Well you know how crack heads are! They screw everything down so they don't loose it! Just take that whole table with it!" I was not some super innocent 25 year old, but I did not, and still do not, have enough experience with crack heads to know that they screw everything down. But I went with it anyway. Long story short, I filled most of my 4x8 trailer for about $35. It was absolutely crazy.

Anyway, for the next 5 years or so this table served as my miter saw stand. I like to do my woodwork outside so I do not need to get all the sawdust out of the garage. This original table was the one with the red top in the pic. I loved this free table that I cared absolutely nothing about. I built a base with wheels for it (the only part that went on to crakhead table V2). It was an amazing saw station. When I was working on my deck (for my non crack infested hot tub I got a few months later) I would keep all my tools on it, and roll it out when I got home from work so I could get as much work done in the few hours after work as I could before dark.

Recently I started a full master bath remodel, and realized my poor crackhead table was rotting away just like her teeth were. I needed to stabilize the crackhead table before I put my fancy tile saw on it and attempted to make the squarest of square cuts to build this awesome new shower.

The first place to turn for components to build such a masterpiece? The scrap lumber storage underneath crackhead table V1! Some 4x4s, 1x4s, and a few extra 2x4s from project fix the master bath was just what I needed!

The only part saved from Crackhead table V1 was the rolling base. Replaced the flimsy wire shelf with 4x4s and 6x6s leftover from the deck, and we were in business. Added a garage sale Stanley power strip and we were really in business! Total cost about $5 for 2 coat hangers to wrap the power cable around and lowes!

Anyone else have some sort of work table for outside work they just don't care about? This thing is awesome, and probably one of my most used work surfaces I have. It stays outside most of time ( Unless I am working on a project and it is stored full of tool in the garage) Also the bottom is used for storing cuts of lumber which has proved most useful. 90% of V2 was made from the cuts stored under V1. I have all sorts of ideas for future improvements like a "handle" that is the same height as my miter saw base, larger hooks to store an extension cord, a drill/impact holder, and more.
 

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Smokenarrow

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Joined
Dec 29, 2013
Messages
168
Location
Kittanning PA
Great story!
Version 1 definitely looks like a crackhead table
You did it a solid with the update

Sent from my moto g(7) optimo maxx(XT1955DL) using Tapatalk
 
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JRC3

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Joined
Jun 30, 2014
Messages
12,481
Location
Southwestern OH
I was going to skip this thread but decided to check it out. When I opened it I saw a wall of text and nearly said "see ya later" but something drew me in to read the first few lines...Next thing I knew I was done with the tale wanting more. I need details, did her old man get out of jail? Did she go to jail for stealing convertors for his bail money? Did her chlamydia clear up?

I admit I have a strange fascination with white trash. The way they celebrate and brag about their underachieving and being totally classless baffles yet intrigues me.
 

Will Allen

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Joined
Dec 3, 2017
Messages
200
I was going to skip this thread but decided to check it out. When I opened it I saw a wall of text and nearly said "see ya later" but something drew me in to read the first few lines...Next thing I knew I was done with the tale wanting more. I need details, did her old man get out of jail? Did she go to jail for stealing convertors for his bail money? Did her chlamydia clear up?

I admit I have a strange fascination with white trash. The way they celebrate and brag about their underachieving and being totally classless baffles yet intrigues me.

I see a great idea for a new reality show.
Jerry Springer comes to Garage Journal.
 

Kev442

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
5,386
Location
Wi
On my pole building build I slammed together a 3' x 6' work table out of whatever janky scrap wood was lying around. Square? Not a chance.
When the base was done and it was time for rafters, I chucked it on top of my beater storage van and had an instant scaffolding 10' up.
It laid outside for a couple more years until I blew it apart, most likely to use the wood for something else.
 

Alchase

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Joined
Jan 2, 2016
Messages
187
Location
Harrah, Oklahoma
Well, knowing crackheads, she probably took the money that was to bailout her old man out, and got high herself.
No honor among crackheads or methheads.
 

JRC3

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2014
Messages
12,481
Location
Southwestern OH
Well, knowing crackheads, she probably took the money that was to bailout her old man out, and got high herself.
No honor among crackheads or methheads.

Unless there was a gubament or settlement check that came in the mail to be cashed by him. Nothing says love and commitment among the trash-class like a check.
 
OP
G

gc11090

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
290
I am glad you all enjoyed my tail of the crackhead table! It has been awhile since I have posted, but figured you would all get a kick out of the story. Just and update, half of the tiles for the floor of the party sized shower have been cut on Crackhead Table V2, all good and square!
 
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