Apparently transformers can be way overloaded.
Correct. Transformer load (like loads on other electrical equipment) is a function of temperature. Transformers are rated for a certain output at a certain temperature. You can easily overload a transformer by double for very short periods of time (motor startup, etc.). Most transformers can be operated for extended periods at 20% overload (more in the winter).
The reason PoCos don't size their transformers based on the main size of their customers is wasted capacity if they did (more on this later). They size transformers using formulas and a concept called "load diversity". That basically means that it would be very unlikely for a group of customers served by a single transformer to all have their maximum load operating at the same time.
For example, I have 320 amps of service installed to my house and shop combined. I will NEVER use 320 amps of service all at once. That would mean ever single piece of equipment I own would be operating at the same time plus I would still need additional equipment plugged into many of the vacant outlets. If I have a neighbor with a system similar to mine on the same transformer, it's even more remote of a chance that both of us would be using power near maximum load at the same time.
But, codes don't allow for diversity and require building wiring, main sizes, etc to be sized for "total connected load" whether its likely those loads will operate at the same time or not. The power company has no such restriction which is why the meter that serves my house and shop is only a 200 Amp meter. There was simply no need for them to install a larger meter.
Back to the transformer wasted capacity mentioned earlier. Power systems have "losses". This means wires, transformers, etc consume electricity that never gets to the customer. As current flows through equipment, some energy is used to heat that equipment and that energy never makes it to the meter. So, a power company has to make more power than is sold at the meter and the difference is called "system losses". Larger transformers have greater system losses. That's why they don't want their equipment to be any larger than it has to be to serve the customers.
The total of all main sizes served by a power company could easily be 3 times their actual system peak load.
It's all about being cost effective.
Hope this helps.
DC