Really stupid moves

[Rural53]

1st month of owning my new home, I was changing out the turbo in my car with a new unit. I had forgot to close the qwik valve for the oil and it was several days since i had opened it up to drain the oil. Went to fill the car up with oil, after adding the fifth quart of oil I check the dip stick "nothing wtf",So like an idiot I look down to find this.

Since then I have put in an epoxy floor and i make sure to close the qwik valves on my cars.

I've done similiar doing oil changes (more than once). Drain oil, remove filter, replace filter, fill engine with new oil, say rude words, climb under and put sump plug it. :tard:

Last weekend I was using a tube notcher making 45deg cuts. I cut through the first side of the tube and said to myself "don't pick up the cut piece it will be sharp". Of course I did pick it up and ended up with my thumb cut diagonally across the pad about 1/4" deep.

 

[Bigrhamr]

My best one has to be when I packed up a UPS shipment, about $800 worth of breakable stuff. Nice sunny day so I set it out in the driveway in front of my pickup so the UPS driver could get it easily. A little later I needed to move the pickup forward just a little, pulled it forward and heard a little crunch accompanied by a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. As I was standing there in stunned disbelief I heard the familiar rumble of the UPS truck coming up the driveway, explained to the driver that the days shipment would be cancelled. He was polite enough not to laugh right in my face and in fact never mentioned it until I did 2 months later, told him the story and the poor guy left in tears.

Pretty sure I won't do that one again.

 

[jam0o0]

i've got a truck with a manual and a truck with an automatic column shift. both same interior (93 and 95 fords). i drive the manual way more often. so every time i get in the automatic truck and pull up to a light i grab for the floor shift that isn't there. sometimes wile doing this i'm also stomping my left foot trying to find the clutch.

 

[jam0o0]

i got a good oil change one too. this year i bought my first diesel truck. the 2nd time i went to change the oil i did everythign right. pull the plug, didn't even miss the oil pan with a single drop. then went to get the oil filter wrench. got back on the creeper. slid under. got the filter loose. as i'm unscrewing it the sound of the oil draining into the pan changes. i look over and it's full and over flowing. by this time the old filter is loose enough to be leaking it's customary 1/4 quart out of the block. not the time to stop in the middle and fumble with the drain plug. so i stuck my thumb in the oil pan plug hole and kept pulling the old oil filter out. then put the new oil filter on. by now the pool of oil that over flowed the pan is probly 2 quarts. both arms are covered in oil. and the drain plug got knocked into the pan. so i dig around with my left hand wile still holding my right thumb to keep the remaining oil in the engine. found the plug. quickly pull out my thumb and stick in the drain plug. no oill left in the motor. just a few drips.

a 9 quart catch pan is not big enough for a diesel truck.

 

[mikester]

This is a great post. When I was younger I had a 68 Chevelle SS with a 396 and 4 spd. I took the old Muncie shifter out and put in a Hurst. I had the car nose first into my old barn. The front of the barn had 2 large sliding doors and a bit of a ramp going up to the inside. I had both car doors open and Im stretched out on the front seat putting a new boot on the shifter. To see how it fit I popped the car into neutral. The car rolled out of the barn due to the incline of the ramp until the open car doors stopped it ! I damaged both doors. Not a good day. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I thought with all the snow we were going to get it would be a good idea to hook my landscape trailer to the back of my 4x4 crew cab and take my son around so he could make a few extra bucks cleaning driveways with my JD garden tractor and blower. After talking to my wife I decided that since he doesnt really do it at home it might not be such a great idea. He really doesnt have any experience at clearing snow. So I pull the truck around and drive back down the hill to put the trailer back behind the shed. As Im going down the hill my truck starts to slide. Its in 4WD but the 3 or so inches of snow and the steep hill made this a huge problem. I cant stop the truck. Im headed for my neighbors split rail fence. I jam the truck into reverse, hit the gas and the *** end of the truck slides around and hits my shed. Trailers almost jack knifed. Shed has a nice sized gouge in the side. At least the truck wasnt damaged because it hit the side of the rear bumper. Of course the damage on the shed is right in the middle so I have to replace 2 pieces of T111 in the spring. Moral of the story...a young dumb *** turns into an old dumb *** !

 

[Hmrhead]

Here is one of mine. 30 yrs ago my dad picked up a rototiller some one had put out with their garbage. The thing was huge!! Didn't run so dad picks up parts to reuild the engine and gives them to me. I was 15 and tore into the job to prove my mechanical skills. Couple of days later I fire it up and to my delight it starts! I drive it out of the barn to an area to try it out. It has big spike like tines on it instead of the the regular bent blade type. I hog it into the ground and its tearing it up beautifully. I see what looks like a piece of rope or root flopping around in the tines. The tiller has one of those buttons that you push to lock the drive handle down so you don't have to keep squeezing it. I step along side of the tiller to grab the offending material and immediatly it hooks the bottom of my jeans. Once my jeans are tightly bound against the tines it flings me face face down into the ground faster than a big time wresler. The tiller tips over on top of me trying to till me into little pieces. Panic is rising I'm trying to reach back to shut off the engine and find that I missed one part of my rebuild....the little piece that you flip against the top of the spark plug to shut off the engine! After about what seemed like 500 jolts I managed to pull off the spark plug wire. Relief. Remember I'm 15, maybe 120 lbs wet, its summer, I'm working with out a shirt on, now pinned to the ground by the monster tiller, feels like it weighs 500 lbs, jean leg tightly clamped by its teeth. Can't move. After about an hour of struggling and digging with my hands I roll it off me and use trusty pocket knife to cut off pant leg. Denim is very hard to cut when it is under tension. Limp up to house, mom freaks out thinking I had some type of accident with a piece of farm equip. Tell her what happened=pissed mom. Explain to dad=almost pissed him self laughing=huge lecture on equipment safety. To this day I hate garden tillers. Upside big fan of and use all proper safety gear.

 

[Haywood]

I'll add mine.. Just pulled this off two weeks ago.

A little background info. My garage is detached and I have a door opener in the house so I just hit the button when I'm on my way out the door. My truck has a small lift on it and barely fits in the door, I measured the opening at 6'9" and the truck sits at about 6'7".

So I come home from work, eat dinner, decide to go grocery shopping. Its about 7 so its totally dark out. I hit the opener, put on shoes and a jacket, jump in my truck. I start backing out of the garage and halfway through I hear a *thud*. I stop, put the truck in park, and get out knowing I just hit something. I look around the truck but I don't notice anything. I'm crawling under it, looking at the suspension for probably 2 or 3 minutes, can't see anything. But I know I heard a noise. I figured it must have been ice falling from somewhere under the truck, but I can't see anything so I decide to pull the truck back into the garage so I can close the door and look at it under some decent lights.

I get back into the truck, put it into drive and start pulling it back in. After moving maybe 2 feet I hear *CRUNCH* *CRACK* *BANG* *SNAP*. OK, now that definitely didn't sound good, and now I can see the garage door in my rearview mirror. I get out and now realized what the original noise was. My truck had a light bar/fake roll bar deal on it. The cable going to the torsion spring on the far side of the garage had come off of the pulley on the last revolution or two allowing the far side of the door to sag. This same thing happened about 3 years ago, but at that time I noticed the door hanging down on one side. This time I didn't. The initial thud I heard was the door hitting the top of my cab after riding up the light bar. The clearance is so close between the door and the cab I never noticed it even after walking around the truck a couple times. When I decided to pull the truck back into the garage, the door hit the front of the light bar and slid down between the cab and the bar (there was about a 6" gap between them). The rest of the crunching noise was when the entire first panel of the door was between the light bar and cab as my truck ripped the entire bottom panel except for one hinge off and bent the next two panels.

I lucked out though and my truck only has one minor scratch on the roof, and I think I can buff it out. The casualties though were the light bar (nice and bent), and my entire garage door. One trip to Menards and $500 later I had a new door..

 

[Del Swanson]

I was meeting my wife and kids at our house. We were going to all hop in our van and go someplace. We both arrived about the same time so I let my wife drive in first. Half way down our driveway it widens to twice it's width. I usually back in and my usual parking spot is right next to the curve in the wide part of the driveway perpendicular to the drive. My wife had pulled all the way into the drive so I started backing in using my driver side mirror and the side of the concrete as a guide.
I never looked in any other mirriors.
Because we were in a hurry and I knew all my kids were in the van with my wife, I went faster than I usually would have. For some unknown reason, my wife decided she wanted to be backed into my usual spot.
She got there just before I did.
I caved in the door post and cost $5500.00 damage.
I had only to replace the tail light lens on my '97 mazda b4000.
The kicker is my idiot insurance agent asked me why I didn't go to a box store parking lot and call the police for a hit and run!
I always use every mirror I have when SLOWLY backing into my drive now.

 

[Del Swanson]

Question: What's the FIRST thing EVERY man does when he screws up?


Answer: He looks around to see if anyone just saw what he did!

 

[gmwelder86]

when I was 16 I was getting the family truck ready for a camping trip (f350 4 door long bed desiel) I am moving it from one side of the drive way to the other, cause I liked driving didnt have my license and was kind of lazy. So as I am moving it from one side of the driveway to the other backing up a fairly steep driveway foot slips off the brake onto the gas pedal and slams into the closed garage door. And to as insult to injury my parents had just finished signing the papers on selling the house. Was not a fun phone call to make to my mom. First thing she said is "is the truck ok" cause she knew my dad would be blowing a gasket if I called him first.

Second story learned heavy metal object when stuck will smash the **** out of your finger when it falls.

I was putting a new skid plate on my 97 ZJ this thing was masive 1/4 steel about 2 feet square with 1 1/4 dom tubing as a frame I estimate the weight around 125 to 150 lbs. I got it up with a floor jack and I have noticed it was rubbing against the transfercase so I try to take it down to make some spacers to bring it off of the transfercase. So I lower the jack the skid plat stays up agaisnt the frame rails. SO I grap a pry bar and start yanking on it. When it finally lets go some how my left hand was on the floor jack. So the skid plate falls lands on the my finger and bounces up. I pull my finger out to see if I am going to loose my finger nail and than see the pool of blood in my right hand. So I flip my left hand over and see my finger did not get cut but more exploded out. So I go inside to clean it almost pass out getting it cleaned out. try one bandiad and two than three cant get it to stop bleeding so I wreap it up in a paper towel and wait for my dad to get home from work. Oh and while I am waiting i have to put the stock transmission crossmember back on. get than all finished up and wait antother 4 hrs for my oldman to get home. He looks and at it and says "lets wait for mom to look out it before you go to the doctor" so 2 hrs after that she gets home freaks and says you need to goto the ER, well the ER is 100 bucks copay but if I goto the urgent care center its 10 bucks and because of the insurance I have the urgent care center is about 40 miles away. So I drive myself to the urgent care center with my older borther riding with me(moms orders), get there about 20 minutes before they close. SO I talk to the nurse she says we cant use stiches cause I cut the flap of skin off. So she grabs some stuff called silvernitrate. She says this my burn a little, cause it causees a chemical burn to stop the bleeding. I say ok I have a high pain tolerence it will be fine. HOLY **** she was not lying it hurt like a MOFO but when she was done it stopped bleeding and stopped hurting. So she asks me do I need any pain killers for the the pain I say no it doesnt hurt that much anymore. My bro looks at my like Im a retard for not getting them and I drive myself back home. After the fact it didnt hurt to bad just feel stupid for the whole ordeal.

Pics can be seen here, as well as the jeep build.
http://www.mallcrawlin.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7531

 

[Lkdelta]

Got the car up on the nice new lift with garage door shut (because the car won't go up with the door open)...and every one knows exactly what happened next.

 

[Vicegrip]

standing about 20 feet away from the plugged in plug on an extension cord I tugged a bit but the outlet was at a slight angle from me. The plug was one of the big bulky plastic replacement plugs. Rather than go over and unplug it I decided to send a wave down the cord to unplug the plug. Well, it worked and a bit too well. The plug came out and back at me hitting me right dead in the nuts. Not a glance, dead on and folded me right over. First thing I do once my eyes uncrossed? Look to see if anyone saw what happened.

 

[lsrx101]

At my old house our driveway was really steep so if you were in a car, in the garage, chances are that you wouldn't be able to see what was behind you PARKED in the driveway. Anyway, woke up late one morning, running late for a meeting at work. I jumped in my van, opened the garage door, and immediately crashed really hard into our other car that was parked in the driveway. Surprisingly, not much damage to either vehicle.

Anyway, we've all been there. Just live and learn from it.

I've done that, and my driveway is flat!
I walked out the side door, jigged around the car parked in the driveway, got into the car in the garage and backed straight into the other car.

My 17 yo. son pulled the best one, though.
We had the 4 wheeler sitting nosed into the garage door opening (fixing something). His Grandmothers Taurus was about 6 feet behind it in the double wide driveway. I think his ides was to back up a bit, turn into the unoccupied side and head out.
He jumped on, LOOKED BEHIND HIM, put it in reverse, and backed straight into the car. The "Doh! I'm so Friggin' stupid" expression on his face at the instant of impact was priceless.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess.

 

[Zeke]

I've never done anything stupid.




Not yet today, anyway.

I read a post here where someone bent back their car doors. BTDT.
I read a post here where someone lowered a ****** on their chest and couldn't move. BTDT.
I read a post here where someone blew up a can that had fumes in it. BTDT.
I read a post here where someone... oh well, you get the idea.

 

[Jim_No_Garage]

28 years ago I was a relatively new delivery driver in a 26' straight truck.

I THOUGHT had pretty much mastered backing into a loading dock. Pull up, back in next to another truck, check both mirrors and back up to the touch at the dock.

I had never delivered to a loading dock INSIDE a building with ROLL-UP doors. I pull up next to a truck. Check both mirrors - looks good. Start backing up - BOOM. I had backed up into the BOLLARDS protecting the door jamb BETWEEN 2 open doors. I guess that why the BOLLARD is there.

I realized my mistake and backed safely in. I get up to the dock and the dock foreman wanders over and asks - "You the guy that just hit the column? " I reply sheepishly YES and he says "I thought so" and walks off.

Jim

 

[texasranger]

First post, and its on this thread. Probably fitting.

#1
I worked at a tractor dealership for several years through high school and college. One day we were fitting a set of pallet forks to a compact utility tractor about 25HP. The forks were designed for much larger machines so we had to make some modifications to make them fit (bad idea itself but the customer was convinced that's what he wanted).

One of the older mechanics hated throwing away junk batteries we replaced in farm tractors, he always had one on charge to see if he could save it and use it in one of his personal tractors.

So we are fitting these forks right next to an old, probably 1000+ CCA battery that is bubbling away on the charger. Of course we didn't think of that at the time. Had the acetylene torch cutting some notches in the mounting brackets so it would clear the hydraulic hoses on the cylinders and BOOM! Thought we somehow blew up the hydraulic line with the torch until it started raining battery caps and sulfuric acid inside the shop. Turns out that's how "acid-wash" jeans are made...holes everywhere.

#2
Same job, different day. We would fill farm tractor tires with a calcium chloride and water mix for stability on hills and to keep them from freezing in the winter time. Messy, crappy job but that's another story. Anyway, when you check the pressure in a tire with calcium it pretty much ruins the pressure gauge. Some would last longer than others so they'd get tossed back in the drawer with the "good" gauges (yes, dumb idea).

One day a frequent customer (may have even been a relative of the owner) stops in to get his tire fixed, small one off the front of a JD lawn tractor. He's mostly bald except for a caesar ring of long (I think white) hair. We fix the tire and he's going to help out by airing it back up. Grabs a gauge and air chuck. I'm back to working on something else and hear him adding air, checking, adding air, checking, more air, checking again. It finally dawns on me he has one of the junk gauges, ****...BOOM! I look up, customer is dazed and confused, hair is strait back like a a cartoon character who just found a bomb in his mailbox. Boss/owner runs over to him "Are you OK?", customer looks at him, some drips of blood on his face where tire shrapnel had cut him, and screams "WHAT?".

He still comes around and laughs about it. Could have turned out a lot worse.

 

[green.bubbly]

Began framing my house and decided it was time to purchase my first air framing nailer. Nice beefy Porter Cable.

So far I have managed to not drive any nails into my flesh but I have learned one small lesson.

Do NOT press your chest against the top of the gun to hold in against the board to nail it. Amazing how much even a small kick can hurt the ribs.

 

[kyles974]

I can't remember why I had to but, I was taking the drive shaft out of a Ford F450 Stakebed. As I was under the truck trying to get the unerversal off, I couldn't figure out why it was so hard to "pop" out. Well as soon as I "popped" it out I quickly realized why it didn't want to come out.

(explain the work area)
I was at my dad's garage. The garage was built on a slight incline.
The rear wheels where just on the lip of the garage floor, while just slightly on the down slope of the entrance. (I thought I had the truck all the way inside)

Back to story:
well, as soon as I popped it out, the truck began to quickly roll backwards.
OK, I have a second to figure how to handle this since I was under a heavy, heavy truck. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it from rolling.
I quickly looked forward at the front axle. I quickly realized, there is no way I'm fitting under the axle.
I quickly rolled out fromt under the truck as the front tire grazed my back.

Wow, close call. Then as I looked up and saw the truck rolling down the slight incline to my dad's nieghbors classic Cadillac. OH NO, I ran and grabbed the mirror. (the big old style mirrors) As I did, the damn door came open!
OH NO, I kept pulling, not caring about the door because the car it was about to hit.
Well, it just "tapped" the car with no damage.

Wow, another close call.

When my dad came back outsisde (yes, nobody was around) I walked to him and said, dad, I'm very ashamed of my self.
After telling him what happend, he said I should be proud for the quick thinking. I told him that I couldn't be proud of the actions I did, because of the stupid actions I first did.

 

[DENALIAKITAS]

The stupidest thing i can remember from my childhood (maybe because it was a "painfull" memory) was waking up real early one spring morning and instantly wanting to run to the barn to see if my dog had her puppies yet. Remember now i was a kid, 5 or 6 at the time, so i didnt even get dressed i just trotted out there in my spiderman underwear to check on my dog! Here is where it goes wrong, i decided to take the shortcut to the barn and cross the electric fence instead of the long way around and go through the gate, after all thats the way dad did it all the time he just stepped over it. Well i was to small to step over it and i was in my afore mentioned spiderman outfit so i didnt want to crawl under it and get all wet from the dew in the grass so i grabbed a shovel from the back porch and laid the handle over the fence to push it down so i could step over. All is going as planned to this point as i am just stepping over the fence with my first leg. The thing is shovel handles are kinda slick and the electric fence wire, well wasnt exactly cooperative. So there i am in my spidey undies holding the fence down with said shovel handle with one leg almost all the way over the fence while my other foot is firmly planted in dew laden grass and my worst nightmare to date starts to unfold....... the fence wire, which by the way was powered by one of those "weed chopper" electric fence chargers, starts to slide up the shovel handle. At this point i slightly panicked because i knew what was about to happen if there wasnt an immediate adjustment on my end to correct the course of the weed chopper charged fence wire.... but i failed to adequately complete said course correction and was instantly and permanently provided with a lifetime memory of myself standing with one leg over the nutchopper charged electric fence in my spideyman undies in the early morning heavily dew laden grass as the wire began to slide up the shovel handle making contact with my inner thigh, then crossing my boyhood at which point my memory of the scenario goes somewhat fuzzy. However when i recount the event i choose to note that my spideyman outfit acquired its moisture content from the previously mentioned early morning dew when i made some sort of seizure induced contact with the ground. As i remember it my dog hadnt had her puppies yet after all.

 

[On1Wheel]

At about 12 am, I needed to roll my Jeep out of the garage a little bit but I have steep driveway. I put it in neutral and was on the passenger side pushing the Jeep out of the garage, watching the rear tire as it hit the spot where the slope begins. I thought I could slam the B&M shifter into park but I was wrong. My half doors were on so I had to jump onto the now rapidly reversing Jeep and steer it away from the pickup parked opposite my driveway. The thing got so much momentum going I steered it darn near a 1/2 mile down the street before it came to rest with my legs hanging out the passenger side. I should have just jumped in and backed it out but it was so loud (had really short straight pipes coming off a Chevy 350) I didn't want to wake up my wife and kid.

Not a single witness that I know of.

 

[SRD9Boss]

Not me - but my brother - Racecar up on jack stands ... milk crate next to car ... brother in racecar... brother attempts to exit racecar from passenger window... first foot out catches just the edge of milk crate as other leg is just about to come out window... crate moves - nuts on door... brother on floor ... other brothers on floor laughing

 

[SRD9Boss]

Same brother --- this time me... remove head from Quad 4 ... get head milled and reinstall... put on front cover... one bolt falls between block and cover... no problem just put all others in... start tightning... crack.. o ****... what now... brother starts mother f'n me... get mad at brother ... take wrench that is in hand and throw at ground right next to tire that is laying there... miss ground hit tire - wrench flies - ... wrench lands on front part of roof of brothers leased Pathfinder... brother more pissed now....

 

[Bronson]

Late 70's My Buddy was going thru a rough divorce. He spent a long evening at the bar, then went out to get in His VW Bug and drive home. He started driving home with one eye closed, and fumbled in His pocket for a smoke. He reached for the lighter and pushed it in. Then He tried to light the cig with it, no heat. He cussed and tried again, still no heat. "Son of a *****!" He threw the lighter out the window and drove home. Next morning, head pounding, He went out to get in His car. The cigarette lighter was still there, but.....The radio knob was gone.

 

[Lump]

Worked for Goodyear years ago, starting out as a tire buster-kid. One day we sold a set of tires which we didn't have in stock. Boss sent me to the nearest other Goodyear shop to pick up the tires, and just as I rolled up in front of a bay to park my service truck, I saw a car tip up in the air and slowly slide off the hoist right off into tool boxes, etc, in the next bay. The tech had released the hoist safety lock, grabbed and held down the air valve, and was staring out the back door with a cigarette in his mouth as it lowered. But he had forgotten to remove the tall jack stand under the rear axle, where he had just installed a set of rear shocks, and he didn't look around until he heard the car sliding off the hoist...too late to do anything but watch. That crash tore EVERYTHING all to hell, car, tool chests, alignment bay, Sun machine, etc, etc. There were a lot of angry people around that shop just then...so I quietly loaded my tires, signed the form, and split. Drove about a hundred yards up the street and started laughing uncontrollably. Wow, what a sight! Thank goodness no one got hurt!

 

[Nick Danger]

We had a drinking glass with a chip in the rim. It was sharp, but I liked that glass. I wanted to keep it. Now, when I was a kid, my dad had once taken a glass to work and had melted a chip smooth by holding it in the bunsen burner. So I decided to fix the glass with heat.

I brought my Benzomatic torch into the dining room and started heating the glass. Mrs Danger was still in her bathrobe, and she watched with interest. It occurred to me that I ought to be doing this in the garage, but just then the glass started to flow and I forgot about it. It was working beautifully!

About two seconds before I was going to stop, there was a loud BANG and hundreds of high-speed, needle-sharp, pieces of hot glass exploded across the room.

I checked myself. I checked Mrs Danger. We were both unharmed. Then I saw that pieces of glass were melting into the carpet. I ran to the garage and grabbed a pair of pliers to pick up the glass, but I was too late with the biggest piece. I learned that day that when a piece of hot glass lands on poly carpet, it melts right down to the burlap backing. There is still a 2 inch hole in that carpet.

 

[porschedude996TT]

I bought a car without an engine and got my BIL to help with his truck (1/2 Ton) and we borrowed a trailer from a friend who had a dairy farm. This heavy duty trailer was just the ticket. He carried Back-Hoes and tractors and all kinds of heavy equipment on this thing. No problem carrying a little car. Hooking it up, my BIL tightens the hitch and I am straightening out the chains and he says, "Nahh, don't worry about those things, we're not going that far."

Well we are good for about 3-4 miles until we cross the Railroad Tracks. The trailer, without a car on it, passes us on the left and is accelerating. No cars coming the other way and only one car parked on the side of the road. The trailer hits the curb, proceeds across the lawn of a day-care facility (No Kids it’s Sunday), and sheers a 4 inch diameter tree cleanly, and rests against the high foundation wall of the old day-care facility. We scramble back and hook up the trailer and place the tree back into place like it is a big bush and off we go…

Moral of the story, always use a 2-1/8” ball with 2-1/8 inch hitch and always use the safety chains.

 

[hmbemis]

...Mrs Danger was still in her bathrobe...

...I checked Mrs Danger...

Well at least you had a good time

 

[Chukster]

Where do I start?

Just after we got married, 1983, living in a suburb of Nashville, TN. Got a really pretty carving set as a wedding present. Was using it to carve a piece of meat, and for some reason, set the knife down, but the handle was sticking off the edge of the counter by a couple inches. Next thing I knew, I had hit the handle a downward blow (not hard, but enough), the knife started to do a backwards somersault, and I just as quickly reached to catch it (didn't want it to land point-first in my foot, ya know). The brain & hand fought each other in microseconds:

NO! DON'T CATCH IT!
YES, I'M GONNA CATCH IT THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO!!!
BELAY THAT ORDER, HAND!!
I CAN'T I'M COMMITTED!!
OK, JUST DON'T CLOSE TIGHT ON IT!!
OK, BOSS!!!!

Only enough to slice into the very first layer of my palm, but, yes, I felt stupid. Wasn't easy explaining it to the bride, either.

Ain't done that again.

 

[countryroad82]

This past Monday I drove my wife's car (03 Toyota Camry). It has a console shifter, my other vehicles have column shifters. Do you know where this is going? I jumped in, fired it up grabbed the windshield wiper switch and proceeded to rip it off. Yeah it was a Monday.

 

[nehog]

I won't tell how I was draining my 20 gallon wheeled oil drain tank (you pressurize it and use a built-in hose to drain it into another container) and managed to spray used motor oil on everything in a 20 ft radius, including me, my lift, the walls, and the floor.

 

[king nero]

nailed myself to a frame (while installing our windows), ofcourse with a hammer without claws. Nail went in the soft flesh inbetween thumb and fingers. Stood there for just short of three hours on a step stool before the wife came home. Had to piss in our living room only because of being so damn impatient and nervous because I couldn't do anythng but standing and waiting.

 

[Lump]

nailed myself to a frame (while installing our windows), ofcourse with a hammer without claws. Nail went in the soft flesh inbetween thumb and fingers. Stood there for just short of three hours on a step stool before the wife came home. Had to piss in our living room only because of being so damn impatient and nervous because I couldn't do anythng but standing and waiting.

OMG, King! That one takes the cake!!!

 

[nehog]

OMG, King! That one takes the cake!!!

I think this thread is finished now: no one can top that!!!

 

[Chukster]

It's not a matter of topping, it's a matter of being able to laugh at ourselves!

 

[kamesama980]

Definitely can't top nailing your own hand to a board but whilst loading a rented tiller in my truck via ramps, repositioned my hand to push the rest of the way up....on the muffler. just moments before it'd been running full tilt to check it prior to my taking it. only really burnt the uncalloused lines in the folds of my fingers.

When timing a DOHC a few years ago I set the cams opposite each other because I mixed up the markes in my mind (2 marks on each gear) couldn't figure out why the engine wouldn't start for a looooong time.

LOTS of little things easily fixed and forgotten...which obviously doesn't help when trying to think of specifics lol.

It's not a matter of topping, it's a matter of being able to laugh at ourselves!

Very true!

 

[woodrail]

Back as freshman in high school metal shop, Shop Teacher pulls out a 6" length of 3/8" hex from a forge. He then asks "How do you know it's hot?"

Simple. I picked it up.

Junior year I got feeling back in my fingertips.

 

[gpalmer77]

First week in the US, I reported my car stolen. Walked out of what is now ****'s Sporting Goods (Galyan's then) in Schaumburg...... car was gone. Cop is taking my details, says, "er, is it that red VW over there?" Yeah..... I walked out the other set of doors at 90 degrees to the ones I went in, the highway in the distance looked the same to a newbie, cop was actually pretty amused.

 

[MScott]

Last week, I went to get into my car (2003 Accura) and noticed that the doors had automatically locked. No problem, the drivers window was down so I reached in to flip the unlock button. Immediately, the alarm went off, horn bleating, lights flashing. I thought that if I got in and put the key in the ignition it would recognize that I was not a car jacker, but no dice...still blaring. I started up the car, no change. I then got out the owners manual (I have only had the car for a couple of months) and tried to look up 'alarm'....nothing. I pushed the buttons on the remote, started pushing buttons but nothing helped. Horn was still bleating. Then, suddenly, it stopped. I thought I must have done something right so I drove off down the road. I hadn't gotten more than a couple hundred yards when it started again. All I could think was thank God I live in the country; I would have been embarrased to tears if there were people around.
Then, brain wave. I pulled over, turned off the ignition, took out the key and pushed the lock open button with the engine off. Success.
This is the first car I have owned with an alarm system....always something new to learn.

 

[deter]

many years ago when I was about 13 I was working on my first garden tractor. I had forgotten to reattach the brake lever and needed to stop, I decided I could stick my foot on the tire and slow it down. Damn thing pulled me right off by the foot and ran over me. No injuries, lesson learned.

 

[VWPORSCHEGT3]

1969 Volkswagen squareback.... bad shifter coupling.... access panel... under the car. the damn thing wont come loose , ok so grab a screwdriver and pry the sucker off. in a split second my mind says "you probably shouldn't do this, that can slip and bop you in the .." too late the screw driver slipped and popped me in the nose, still have a scar to prove it , more embarassingly it was right in front of my new girlfriend... glad she stuck around to marry this dope...