"In tonights top story, an international money-laundering scheme is exposed by obsessive members of an internet tool forum when the sale of a mediocre bench vise was flagged as 'totally unreasonable'. One member is quoted as saying 'I just couldn't believe it. I mean, it wasn't even old American Iron'. Another member added 'What is that…maybe a $500 vise?'
A specialized division of nerds within the forum known only as 'The Vise Squad' were consulted and confirmed the excessive sale amount, which lead authorities to investigate the eBay storefront. A member of this group who chose to remain nameless added 'I'm just glad were were able to get to the bottom of this. The vise prices on the secondary market are high enough these days without adding artificially inflated sales to the mix. These Craigslist dreamers think they can get away with murder!'
More on this story at 11:00."