She doesn't understand dust, clutter, tools,..

[andyvh1959]

I do nerarly all my own work. Did a complete remodel of our main bath in 2019. Built most of my 24x28 detached shop in 2020 by myself. Last year I started a major kitchen remodel, updated cabinets, new sink, plumbing, all new drawers/pullouts, moving outlets/electrical, built a walk in pantry, and I'm getting close to repainting all the cabinet face frames and installing the new drawer fronts and doors. Through all this all means I have a fold out table in the dining room with tools, supplies, material. Had a quote for all this work from one of the heavily advertised local companies that do everything (which I don't trust), saying the kitchen remodel from start to ready to use, $35,000! No friggin way.

I can sustain working through what appears to be disarray and mess. My wife,...er,...not so much. She thrives on organization and order, cleanliness is there too. So more than a few times she has asked, "does this all need to be here? Can you put some of this away?" Meaning, the tools, material, etc. And,....no, not yet. So those of you who also do your own work, have you had "discussions" about how you process the project? Or do I just need to clean everything up each Monday and drag it all out again come Friday? Maybe I just need a nice cover over everything. Rant done, off to more dusty work.

 

[Imatk]

I think it depends on how much you want to fight with your wife
Home Depot has those large totes for like 15 bucks... might get a couple of those and just put everything in there in the room when you're done for the day... nice compromise.

 

[whateg01]

I hate putting stuff away and getting it right back out. I don't make my bed in the morning because I'm going to need it up again in a few hours. That said, my gf doesn't live with me so my projects can stay in whatever state they are. I also don't have a set schedule to work with, so I might have an extra free hour this afternoon to do something and I don't want to spend 30 minutes getting set up and taking down to work for only 30 minutes. If I had a SO that lived with me or had frequent visitors, I might feel different, but this is how I am.

 

[ericm]

I'll leave stuff out if it's in my garage/shop but not in the kitchen. I'd at least take 5 minutes to move it out of the way and tidy up at the end of the day even if I didn't pack it all up and put everything fully away. My feeling that if it's a common space I need to make it reasonably useable.

 

[Stuart in MN]

Or do I just need to clean everything up each Monday and drag it all out again come Friday?

Besides keeping her happy, doing regular cleaning and organization will make the job easier and more pleasant, and minimizes the amount of dirt that permeates the entire house.

 

[Rusted Nut]

This is really weird! I think we’re married to the same women.

 

[niget2002]

Hang a curtain rod over the doorway to the dining room and put up a curtain to hide the mess.

 

[andyvh1959]

HA! Well, the dining room is part of the open floor plan from the kitchen, so a curtain rod won't do it.

For the most part, I'm done with the messy/dusty work. Today my gal went out for a long lunch with a girlfriend, so I got the last two face frames cut back to suit the near frameless cabinet fronts I changed it all from the old full frame style. I made an attachement for a small vacuum on the Dremel Ultrasaw I used to cut the frames. It reduces the fine dust a lot, and some quick cleanup before she got home, done.
I do have to rent an electric hammer/chisel to get the 1.5" square tile off the floor in prep for the new flooring. I'll say this about my ex, she knew how to lay tile and hang wallpaper (that was about all she laid, knuk, knuk). So far the wall paper I've removed and the tile under the fridge and stove took more effort than I thought they would.

Side note: I've heard it said there is something magical and ironic in wedding cake, as my ex proved. In our two prior dating years she was quite "active and adaptable" if ya know what I mean, wink, wink. As soon as she ate some wedding cake and after the wedding was over it very obviously changed, like twice a year changed. Guess I took the bait and swallowed the hook on that one! Lucky me, I have the right one now that I wished I met 25 years ago.

 

[58Yeoman]

deleted.

 

[PCustoms]

She's probably more pissed that you started this last year....

 

[dvblanch]

Progress on something like this needs to happen every day. If you take a couple weeks off in middle its hard to get restarted and definitely expect your wife or girl friend up your ***.Most women have no idea how long decent work takes. TV remodeling shows are much to blame for the expectations.
s

 

[WildBill]

I use a folding table to organize tools/supplies while working and I straighten up everything on it at night. Makes it easier to work as well as keeping my wifes blood pressure down. Everything possible goes on or under the table. Only takes 10 mins or so extra at night to clean and organize and I can find everything much faster while working. Also helps me keep track of anything I need to get for the next steps, usually have to run to the hardware store during the week to prep for the next weekends work.

 

[Mandres]

It's definitely the tv remodel shows to blame. It looks so easy and fun! Nobody who hasn't done the work has any idea what's actually involved. My advice is to get her involved. After a few long days hanging sheetrock she won't complain about the dust ever again

 

[WisJim]

Almost 50 years ago my new wife and I built our first house with hand tools, using rough pine from a local sawmill, and she helped all the time with everything, so she has a very good idea what things make a mess, what gets cleaned up and put away, and what needs to stay out for next time. And she is often asking me "Wouldn't a new tool make that job easier?" I think that I made a good choice with her.

 

[jblnut]

It’s the opposite here. I’m the best freak and she can tolerate a few dirty dishes in the sink. I sweep, dust and organize my shop every Sunday and it drives her bonkers how I can find things that “I know I have one of somewhere” because things are put away where they belong.

That all goes out the window while doing a remodel and living there at the same time. I agree with a few above about some large totes for tools at the end of the day. Sticking things in the totes will keep things a little neater but may give your wife just enough cleanliness to overlook the rest of the mess.

 

[dchawk81]

I think it depends on how much you want to fight with your wife
Home Depot has those large totes for like 15 bucks... might get a couple of those and just put everything in there in the room when you're done for the day... nice compromise.

I agree put the wife in a tote.

Wait nevermind. Had to keep reading.

 

[PassnThru]

Last year I started a major kitchen remodel, updated cabinets, new sink, plumbing, all new drawers/pullouts, moving outlets/electrical, built a walk in pantry, and I'm getting close to repainting all the cabinet face frames and installing the new drawer fronts and doors.

She's probably more pissed that you started this last year....

Yeah - that stood out to me also - it's mid August of this year - you started last year - and you're not really that close to finishing. Maybe you explained it wrong or maybe the dust, clutter, and tools laying about aren't the real issue.

 

[jar944]

Lol, last year..

I'd agree that's the root of the issue.

For the 35k they would have been done in a few days start to finish.

 

[Viper98912]

If it's in the middle of the kitchen Monday through Friday and it's not touched (because you're only working on it on the weekend), then yes, you should clean up on Sunday nights and drag it back out Friday nights.

 

[mepstein]

If it's in the middle of the kitchen Monday through Friday and it's not touched (because you're only working on it on the weekend), then yes, you should clean up on Sunday nights and drag it back out Friday nights.

Only if you want her off your ***.

 

[nitroracer20]

My man. Are you really hustling along on this project? I am in the middle of a french drain project. My wife and i both work full time. I have a 6 month old and a 3.5 year old. If they leave the house without me for an hour i have the jack hammer running as soon as the door closes.

My advice - the better half cant complain if your progress speaks for itself and your saving big money.

If these are straining conversations and you have the money….pay to get it done.

 

[Viper98912]

Only if you want her off your ***.

Yea, because the reality is you/the OP is not a single man living on his own in a bachelor pad. You're sharing your life with someone, which means not ******* them off.

I'm pretty sure we all have things that we ask for in return that bug us, so yes, clean it up if it's that big of a deal that she's asked multiple times already. Life is a two way street.

 

[LXCam]

This is really weird! I think we’re married to the same women.

You too?!, well that three timing #*^~¥

I’ve always sent her off on vacation whenever I had a major project. But a year??…………….wouldn’t that be heaven

Past those dreams I’m much more productive to let me do what I gotta do and stay out of my way. There’s times to leave the mess and the tools where they lay and times to clear the clutter as you go.

 

[Metal-Marc]

If it's in the middle of the kitchen Monday through Friday and it's not touched (because you're only working on it on the weekend), then yes, you should clean up on Sunday nights and drag it back out Friday nights.

Yeah this. I usually clean my mess at the end of every work day in my shop. I can't stand starting something in a cluttered space.

 

[Debcrow]

I know!
woman can get so irritated over little things like the LS heads in the kitchen sink,
LET ALONE the block on the kitchen floor.
No idea about what's important!!!!!!!!

 

[Metal-Marc]

LET ALONE the block on the kitchen floor.

I have a 9A block in a corner of my kitchen.

 

[P0234]

Next time around hire out. As soon as the workers drop a deuce in one of the bathrooms, you'll be the hero again.

 

[DGersic]

Because we live here, I try to minimize the mess, but sometimes that’s just not possible. Winter was spent on a remodel of our living room. I put up zip walls at the doorways to keep the rest of the house relatively unaffected. But it’s noisy and dusty work to skim an entire room, after fixing all of the bad spots in the plaster.

For smaller projects, I’ll clean up some, but I’m not going to major clean and polish something that’s getting dirty again tomorrow. A HF rolling cart helps collect and organize the project stuff as well as being a handy way to move the tools and stuff around.

Last winter, I replaced the plumbing. Since the water was off for several days, I got us a hotel room. She stayed there. I commuted to the house. This allowed for civilized meals, a shower at the end of the day, and the hotel was next to Menards, so whatever I needed to stop and get, I was already right there. No project is complete without a few trips to the store.

 

[Mike65]

We have done 2 kitchen remodels while living i the house, never again. This house we are in now we spent 1 year renovating the house before we moved in. Once the kitchen was finished, we decided to sell our other house & move.

 

[paredown]

She's probably more pissed that you started this last year....

My lovely wife claims that we were without a kitchen for 18 months (I think that she is exaggerating)--but in my defense, project creep ensued--including (not not limited to) taking apart one of the exterior walls, removing window/new header etc) as well as replacing and repairing rotted subflooring and matching a section of wide plank oak flooring that was adjacent. (I also had to upgrade wiring, reinforced all the floor joists, new slate floor, new insulation and drywall throughout. All me, and all of that to get to the point where I could think about setting cabinets.

Good work takes time, working by yourself is slow--but the alternative of spending a boatload of money, no thanks. I'm currently painting an upstairs for a friend who did a full kitchen reno (including taking out a bearing wall to make it open plan). She is into the project for over $80k--and the work is maybe B- at best. No thanks!

My wife recently found out that the local Sparkies charge $150/outlet and similar prices to hang a light fixture--so I'm more appreciated now!

(I do make a real effort to clean up--good shop vac, rolling shelf for tools and reduce clutter around where I'm working.)

 

[CJM8515]

my gf feels the same way, i not so kindly remind her idgaf what she thinks about it. either you deal with it or theres the door. if i packed everything up and took it back out again id wear a path from the garage to the door lol.

i keep most everything in an unused bedroom that is for the last year a storage room basically. im not dragging all the tools in and out over and over again for the various projects. at least for now. its all in a tote or near a tote

 

[manwithtools]

Lucky for me, my wife grew up in a house that was in constant state of remodel by her dad. We have had three houses that I did major renovations in over about 30 years. She never expected there not to be a mess when demo and construction were underway. Always very patient too.

 

[nadogail]

Mrs Nadogail doesn’t go into my workshop. We have been married for 44 years now, she once went into my shop and decided to clean and organize my van, where she found a bottle of Amber liquid. When she asked what it was I told her she didn’t want to know. It was my Emergencey Urinal.
All of us are a little bit crazy, but some of us are Strange.

 

[Copymutt]

Mine can be pretty tolerant. We had to replace the living room slab. Bust it up, toss it in the tractor bucket through the window taken out. Concrete pumped in through same window. Double wrapped the entire room in plastic was key to containing the dust and debris. Generally she’s appreciative of improvements. Thrilled w/ the 3 1/2 cord wood shed I put together this summer, but then she peas on trees in the forest to mark them for our firewood🫣

 

[WisJim]

When my wife was a stay-at-home mom, with 3 boys in 5 years, and I was working away from home, she would do things like lay out a half dozen rows of oak flooring ready for me to fit in place and nail down when I came home, while also gardening, making meals, doing laundry, and of course minding 3 rambunctious boys. Looking back, I'm amazed at how much we got done.

 

[paredown]

<snip>

Last winter, I replaced the plumbing. Since the water was off for several days, I got us a hotel room. She stayed there. I commuted to the house. This allowed for civilized meals, a shower at the end of the day, and the hotel was next to Menards, so whatever I needed to stop and get, I was already right there. No project is complete without a few trips to the store.

Before we moved in to ours, we still had our rental in Brooklyn. I was doing a reverse commute and got one bathroom usable before we moved out. Gotta have at least some of the mod-cons. A close second was setting up the laundry room at least on a temporary basis (it ws moved from its previous location). I got the ceilings painted, a ton of cleaning done and all the "kids" wing floors stained and finished before we moved in.
It was still a long time before the house felt habitable--but it is big enough that after I redid most of the front, we moved there, swapping bedrooms and got a new bath as well as a finished laundry and office.

Now its time for round three--back to the original wing we were living in--new roof, take the ceilings down, reinsulate, new lights etc. Probably windows too. Sadly, the bathroom that I was so proud of when I first finished it is now over 10 years old, so it will need a refresh.

But everyone needs a hobby!

 

[PCustoms]

Thrilled w/ the 3 1/2 cord wood shed I put together this summer, but then she peas on trees in the forest to mark them for our firewood🫣

Dare I ask how you find them later?

 

[Oregon rock crusher]

I was doing a pretty heavy remodel on my old house including kitchen and bathroom back in '82 when my future wife moved in with me. She would help by sweeping, vacuuming, and generally picking up after me. Having passed the cheerful assistant test I married her later that year. She has no say over what happens in my shop....but I listen to her suggestions and try to incorporate them when it comes to the house. It is a compromise that works for us and we have survived many complex home improvement projects over these many years now.

 

[Metal-Marc]

All of us are a little bit crazy, but some of us are Strange.

Can we be both?

 

[nadogail]

Can we be both?

Absolutely