taumac
Well-known member
Sometimes it's so much better to start new with a clean slate. We all go through stages in life and done things which has taking us down the path we taken. I wish you the best
So here is some deep ****......
Now is when I start to learn about my real self, I don't think i ever knew myself (not even a little bit). I am pretty sure that I have been using other people's goals as my own, I have done lots of things that were unimaginable (when I look back on them) just to retreat from a perceived horror. This thread has been a journey, but I think it was more of a lost, aimless trek into unknown territory. While I was trying to find my lost pictures, I found that the files and the "stuff" I have kept is mind boggling. I have spent more time shuffling the unimportant, all in an attempt to avoid reality, only popping up long enough to catch a breath, then submerging again until I can't hold on anymore. This vicious cycle has lead me by the hand for most of my life, even now, fully aware of what is going on the pull is so great that I can hardly do what is needed to make life work. I try hard, but it seems to always be in the wrong direction. Admitting all of this is very painful, that damn ego is truly the enemy of all. Even the title to this thread was so ambiguous that it was contributing to my out of control spiral. People keep saying "at least you know you have an issue", well now I need to figure out what to do about it. Instead of having all these goals to finish this, or finish that, I am going to scrap them all and set just one new goal, to start, that is it, clean, simple, needed. I am not sure where this will take me, but it can't be any worse than the last couple of years, besides I think insanity could be defined by reading this entire thread.
Just got about two feet of snow.![]()
I think it's normal to have "moments of reflection". And there isn't any reason the course to come can't change based on these reflections. Mine often revolve around the budget of said hobby at any particular moment. It's easy to bite off way more than I can chew. Just because someone else can and does doesn't mean I can or should. Do I need said tool or whatever? Or can I get by with what I have already? Some days I'm tempted to sell it all and buy a condo.
Just here to say that I'm here for you Strouty. You're an intelligent man and you will prevail. Don't think anything you've done was a waste of time. All experiences bring us to what we are now.
Okay? 30" here yesterday and maybe another foot on Wednesday. Yippie!!!
Snow is as plowed as I can, not super sticky, so it won't stack. I may have to get the Mitsu (excavator) going to move the piles, they are pretty big now. The worst part was that I had "loaned" my brother the tires and rims from my plow truck, I have his old ones, but they are fairly bald, the problem is that his tires are too big to get my tire chains on. I got stuck pretty good today, had to shovel the front of the ruck and plow out from under a huge pile, that made me a bit gun shy, so the piles are messy as hell in that area. So now I have to talk to my brother about getting his new tires, so I can get my old ones back.

