Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
Chuck norris counted to infinity... twice.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Under Chuck Norris's beard there is no chin... only another fist!
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.
There are two types of people in the world... people that ****, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.