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Strouty

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Mar 21, 2010
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LOL, after all this, they aren’t going to do anything, I now have to start over with a physical therapist and in six or eight weeks I can discuss options. The PA told me to wear a wrist brace when I am ding “heavy work”, I tried to explain that it isn’t the “heavy work” that aggravates it, it is the stupid things like picking up a water bottle or a pen. Then she got made at me for suggesting she look up my records because I wasn’t sure when or what specifically they had done to my left elbow. Then she told me that I will get a call from the physical therapist to schedule, I asked if I could walk over to the office and schedule now, so I go over and they tell me that I can’t schedule until I get a referral from my primary care physician. I am having a good laugh at this point, I may or may not be crying on the inside.
 

FullRaceMerc

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We've been thru quite a bit of P/T around here. If you can find someone who focuses on returning to sports, instead of one who focuses on making old people feel better, I think it usually is more effective.

I've been surprised with how much good P/T can help. I couldn't hardly walk & thought I needed knee replacement. They worked on all sorts of muscles that seemed to be unrelated. Today, many years later, I have to think about it to remember which knee was the bad one. I hope your outcome is as good.
 
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Strouty

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I have mud, most likely won't plow anything unless absolutely necessary, the road looks bad as it is.

PT starts next week, just annoying, due to my previous injury to my arms, the PT doesn't seem to work, it didn't work on my left arm. I was hopeful they could at least look at my history and see exactly what I was talking about. It isn't like my arms have been opened up before and the procedure they did last time worked awesome. I guess I can write off most of this year, so in the end I will probably have the surgery, exactly when I wouldn't want to have it.
 

walrus

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Sorry to hear that ,welcome to the current day health system. Hopefully PT will help. Maybe PT can get you a brace that will help? Getting hurt is the worst thing for us self employed guys. Until then rest and ice as best you can
 

rmack898

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Jan 23, 2007
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Honu Grove NE Florida
I was never much of a believer of PT until 3years ago. I injured my right wrist that had been broken many years before, and PT was prescribed. The therapist was amazing and 3 weeks of PT 3 times a week fixed my wrist.

The following year I had both my knees I wanted to go back to the same therapist but she specialized in arms only.

Having had both knees replaced within a six month period the one thing I learned is that if you don't connect or feel like you're getting results from the therapist, tell them you want someone else. I went through 3 different therapists on my knees before I found the one that worked for me.

You are basically paying for their service, if what they are doing is not working it's OK to fire them and try someone else.
 

xtremek

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St. Johns, Mi
I haven't had much luck with pre-op PT. We'll see how post-op PT does. But I definitely feel you on the surgery timing being jacked by ineffective PT.
 

walrus

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I was never much of a believer of PT until 3years ago. I injured my right wrist that had been broken many years before, and PT was prescribed. The therapist was amazing and 3 weeks of PT 3 times a week fixed my wrist.

The following year I had both my knees I wanted to go back to the same therapist but she specialized in arms only.

Having had both knees replaced within a six month period the one thing I learned is that if you don't connect or feel like you're getting results from the therapist, tell them you want someone else. I went through 3 different therapists on my knees before I found the one that worked for me.

You are basically paying for their service, if what they are doing is not working it's OK to fire them and try someone else.
Goes for doctors also, fire them if they aren’t helpful.
 
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Strouty

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PT is the least of my worries, I have a new enemy doubling their efforts to make sure I fail at every turn. I am essentially broken, my Dad has created some problems that are clearly the big warning sign to run. He spoke to me a couple weeks ago about the gate, I told him the steel was ready to be welded, but I had to get help since I couldn't easily deal with the pieces right now with my elbow being messed up. Instead of talking to me, he decided to have someone else make the gate and get it installed, not using my parts......

I am going to be on the hook for thousands in steel and parts now, guess I have no one to blame but myself, lesson learned.

I was very calm, I didn't say anything except that I wish he had talked to me first, then we could have at least used the steel I had. I have not seen the gate yet, not even sure if he used my posts or not, if he didn't use my posts, we are in even worse shape, I will take a ride over tomorrow to see what was done.

After this he says "and you know we are headed out of town Sunday, right?", this would be Dad and the stepmother. I responded, "no, I didn't know", he then says it is for a month and that the office has to be done by the time he is back.......

The day before this, he had a conversation with my Buddy (the diesel mechanic), it was explained that Dad was not able to use him for work anymore because he can't count on him, that he doesn't jump when Dad calls and when he does take on work, he is just too slow to get things done. I think that this is what Dad actually wants to say to me, also think that he is getting paranoid and no longer trusts me.

I am going to go back to billing for an hourly rate, also going to give up on any long term dreams of the Hill. I will have to put in some serious effort for the next month to try and extricate myself as best I can, I need to get a handle on everything and be ready for the inevitable. The writing has been on the wall for the last few months and I was slowly coming to this conclusion on my own anyways, but it is a bitter pill to swallow and I am a bit more than slightly depressed.
 
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Strouty

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Kay, that is exactly what I am thinking. Since he is going out of town until the end of April, I am going to try and do as much as I can, the general issue is I need to do things to my equipment before I can actually transport everything. I really can't afford to pay someone else to move all my stuff, it would probably cost $10k, so I have to get Perk functioning and inspected, had already scheduled the work for next week. I have already come to the conclusion that there will be no fun or new projects for this year, just the essentials. My big worry is how to deal with Chuck, it isn't like I can just bring him to my regular house. I am thinking the office trailer, at least the front half could be used for him, it would be generally easy to heat and I could add more insulation.

I have to meet with him tomorrow afternoon to sign the checks before he leaves, if there are more invoices that I can't pay through a credit card or online, I will mail the checks to him and have him sign them, then mail them out.

This is NOT going to be a fun next few months, he is expecting me to move into the office and I will not be able to do both, I also lose some of my office furniture as it is now built into the office, oh well, live and learn. Pretty much everyone has warned me, I just expected it to take longer. To say I am scared is an understatement. :(
 
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86turbodsl

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Jul 1, 2005
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Michigan
You need to protect YOU. Your dad is clearly not playing a common team with you. I'd separate your stuff from his, make it clear you are working as an employee with HIS stuff on HIS stuff, and your stuff is your own problem. You cannot mingle your goals with his. You are losing this battle. He's clearly taking you for granted. Sorry, and i agree it's a bitter pill to swallow.
 
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Strouty

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Southern Maine
I was talking with a friend when I remembered that my “lease” runs out June 1st, so I suspect with his May 1st ultimatum to have the office ready means he wants me out. I will have to deal with the posted road issue as well, that may mean a lot of things get moved last minute, the roads are free for sure on April 15th.
 

bimmer1980

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Feb 5, 2009
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Location
York, PA
It's a tough nut to swallow, and we probably can't totally understand all the things running thru your head and the **** you will need to deal with.

I think I would put together an invoice for your time and material on the gate and put it into the mix of invoices to be signed and paid for. There is a cost to switching "contractors" and your dad needs to at least cover materials.

That said, I can see both sides of it. From his perspective, the gate and the office has been taking a long time. Frankly, he and most managers, could give two sh1ts about the minutia and myriad details for a project. And candidly, it probably doesn't really matter. It's not going to the moon. It just needs to be done.

From your perspective, it's worth doing things "right" but there needs to be a limit on it. Especially when in the bigger picture there is a greater value to the project being complete, not perfect. Many times, perfect is when it is done and usable. I do understand this quandary and it is easy to get caught in the paralysis.

I know you're probably frustrated to no end. Any of us would be, and that's understandable. That said, this could be a good thing long term. It's hard to look past all of this, but I think in two months and a year, it will be a better situation.

It does seem that the work and the hobbies are way too blended together. That may be fine if you were the boss, but as you're finding out, you're not.

In addition to getting your stuff separated and off the site, do you have a steady income stream after this all settles out? So you own any of the tower sites that you have full control over and will cash flow? Any way to add to your portfolio? Basically, if you're doing it for your dad, can you do it for yourself and turn yourself into the boss?
Final two cents, I would recommend scheduling time with your lawyer, accountant and a therapist. Time to get a plan for your business and someone to talk to in order to unpack all these issues and help you get aimed in the right direction. This is a lot to handle and you need people on your side to counsel and recommend.

Succession of family businesses certainly have the propensity to be sticky. It's ***** that you have to bare the brunt of it.

Regardless, we're pulling for you and keep your chin up and proceed forward. Do what is best for YOU (and your girlfriend and of course, your pets) ☺️.
 

kent_323is

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Nov 13, 2009
Messages
274
Location
South Dakota
While his ultimatum does ****, if I play devil's advocate for a bit, look at it from his perspective for a few mins.
How long has that office been work in progress? It feels like a long time.
How long has that gate been in progress? Also feels like a long time.
Quite frankly, those are both fairly straightforward items in most people's perspective. So from his perspective, he might be right in lighting a fire under you. Not exactly the best time with your elbow all screwed up, but is it ever a good time?
So don't strive for perfect on the office, just get it to good enough and call it done. The gate is probably water under the bridge at this point. Who knows, maybe getting the office done will buy you some time to get other plans going.
Probably not what you want to hear, but sometimes you need to hear the hard stuff so you buck up and move on with it.

On the bright side of things, if you're having to move stuff, we'll probably see more action with Perk and the knuckleboom crane, and probably a variety of forklifts... that's what I look forward to in this thread!
 
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Strouty

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Southern Maine
Ultimately, there is no way I can be off the Hill by June 1st and be in the office by May 1st, not without paying someone a serious amount of money. I am going to call his bluff, I will write up a conditional lease agreement for 12 more months. The condition being that I have the office moved into and functional by May 1st. If he signs it, then I concentrate on the office, if he refuses to sign it, then I know where I stand and will concentrate on moving everything off the Hill. Even if it is signed, once the office is done, I still concentrate on moving everything off the Hill, I don’t want to be there for another winter unless there are drastic changes, meaning an actual livable purchase agreement. I can’t go into this running scared, mistakes will be made and I can’t afford to make many this year.
 
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xtremek

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Apr 13, 2012
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St. Johns, Mi
It seems like this is happening more and more frequently, these blow outs with Dad. I think you'd be miles ahead to finish the office, then start moving your stuff. Can you get your brother to help? Time for a radical change in your life? And all with a busted wing. If Bob and I can do it, I'm sure you can. Probably not with as much grace as Bob, but more then me. If you do extend the lease, I'd extend it just enough to get your stuff out, plus one month. Time to move out, and move on?
 
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Strouty

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I agree with everything everyone has said, but talking about it is one thing, actually dealing with it is another. If I extend the lease, the intent is to give me a bit of a cushion from the possibility of a June 1st deadline. I am going to feel him out, first by asking him to sign a lease extension with no conditions, if he gets all weird about it, I will offer up the conditional version, if that is still a problem, then I will just smile and see him off. Then I will essentially have to say fack the office move and start getting all my stuff gone. I hope that is won't come to this, I have been through worse, but this is the last thing I need right now. There is going to be a major trickle down effect if I have to abandon ship and I would prefer that it doesn't happen all at once. I guess I could also write up a four month extension, regardless, he is either signing the extension today or I have my answer. I think three options should be more than reasonable, if he doesn't agree, then I guess it will be time for me to be unreasonable.

I am over at the Salvage Garage and it is just as I expected, the snow is all gone around the shop and storage boxes, but the back forty is still not accessible. We are going to get a bit more snow Saturday, but they have downgraded it and I am in the coating to 2" zone, I do not think any snow is going to hang around for much longer, except maybe the bankings. I am not ready to move any equipment at this point anyways, but I will need to have things here soon if I expect to get anything to the Spring auction.

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FullRaceMerc

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Ultimately, there is no way I can be off the Hill by June 1st and be in the office by May 1st, not without paying someone a serious amount of money. I am going to call his bluff, I will write up a conditional lease agreement for 12 more months. The condition being that I have the office moved into and functional by May 1st. If he signs it, then I concentrate on the office, if he refuses to sign it, then I know where I stand and will concentrate on moving everything off the Hill. Even if it is signed, once the office is done, I still concentrate on moving everything off the Hill, I don’t want to be there for another winter unless there are drastic changes, meaning an actual livable purchase agreement. I can’t go into this running scared, mistakes will be made and I can’t afford to make many this year.
It looks like you've taken a little time to come up with a better plan. This sounds like a good approach & much calmer & more workable than your earlier thoughts. Hang in there & keep your cool through the rough places. Hard to do with family involved.
 
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Strouty

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I have a track record of jumping without looking, something about my Dad just sets me on edge.

I am dropping off some things at the SG, then I would like to try and get the Hyster inside before this next storm. I had ordered a bunch of small parts that need to be installed, this should make the engine cover operational with gas struts rather than having to manhandle it to get access. I also purchased all the parts I needed (well the external parts, might find interior brake pieces needed) to get the e-brake working, that has been an issue for sure, even at the relatively flat Salvage Garage. I only have an hour or two, then I have to get back to the office to finish up the checks for Dad to sign before his month away. We are going to meet this afternoon, I spent a couple hours last night, so it shouldn't be too bad to get things wrapped up.
 
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Strouty

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The Hyster started without any issues, I did give it a sniff of crack, figured better safe than sorry. I also wrote up four versions of the agreement for the Hill, two are long term and two are short term, that should either make it happen or show his motives. I hate that I have to play games with him, it *****, but this is where I am at.

Now I need to clean up a bit so I can get the Hyster inside, looks like I was trying to get things organized the other day, not exactly sure what I was going for, but it probably made sense when I started it. I think that was about a month ago, just a bit frustrating when I really look at how this winter has gone. :(
 

FarmerWill

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Dec 6, 2017
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South Texas
I wish you the best with this. Wish I could say something witty, funny or generally up beat, unfortunately I have seen things like this happen up close.
Raise a glass to you and offer you prayers, understanding a long distance shoulder to cry on.
 
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Strouty

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Well, it wasn't totally what I thought, but once again it is games that are rigged. He openly admitted that the gate was done completely out of spite. I was mad, but I stayed calm, I think that surprised him. He also signed the 12 month extension with no conditions, making the comment that we should be able to get the purchase agreement done in that timeframe. Then he spoke about normal things to do with the business and we had a generally good conversation. I am going to move forward with things, if we don't have an agreement in the next couple months, I will be packing it in and leaving. For the next few weeks I have more than enough things to deal with, but I am going to be sending him a draft of the agreement we often discuss, it needs to include details about the woodshed, office, and quonset hut, along with the land, it is not going to be super easy, but if we come to an agreement I would like it to work.
 

walrus

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Were you hired to build and install gate? Apparently he was pissed you didn’t finish it quick enough?

I ’ve been around some family businesses it’s a tough dynamic. Screaming, in the face, craziness at times.
 

FullRaceMerc

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Well, it wasn't totally what I thought, but once again it is games that are rigged. He openly admitted that the gate was done completely out of spite. I was mad, but I stayed calm, I think that surprised him. He also signed the 12 month extension with no conditions, making the comment that we should be able to get the purchase agreement done in that timeframe. Then he spoke about normal things to do with the business and we had a generally good conversation. I am going to move forward with things, if we don't have an agreement in the next couple months, I will be packing it in and leaving. For the next few weeks I have more than enough things to deal with, but I am going to be sending him a draft of the agreement we often discuss, it needs to include details about the woodshed, office, and quonset hut, along with the land, it is not going to be super easy, but if we come to an agreement I would like it to work.
Sounds like you handled it well. Sometimes being the calm guy in a storm gives you an edge. It seems like from here you should stay focused, hold up your end so he has less to hold against you, & get your purchase agreement in order soon.
 
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