Above 1200 Sq/FT The Salvage Garage

[Two Door]

If you can't get compensated for your stake, then walk away, let the business collapse to it's true value without you, then go in and pick up the pieces. Whatever you do, sign no non-compete agreements.

 

[pi_guy]

I am going to get a tattoo tonight, it will be on my forehead and read "DOORMAT"........

We have much less snow on LI than Maine

 

[racer-john]

Sorry to hear this develolpment, although I could see it coming.
All the best to you, you are strong and able to override this.

 

[Sifan]

Taking emotion out of the equation, logically the safest bet is Dad is going to leave everything to the Mrs. Set up and do your own thing. IF Dad leaves you something, you're that much farther along. Good luck!

 

[Strouty]

I am going to have a meeting with him to discuss things further. We have to iron out some sort of transition at a minimum, but I hope he sees things in a rational mindset (I know, I know). I am not looking at thing like an inheritance, I figure he will spend all the money or leave it to his wife, I am fine with that as long as I don’t get cut out of our business deals, I am 10% owner of one tower and 100% owner of another tower, with a handshake.

I hope to start working on getting things into a written format as part of this process, if we can’t agree, I will probably not cooperate as much as he would like.

 

[Whitey1]

Record your conversations or video them if possible. Covid can take him tomorrow and it will all be a he said she said **** show.

 

[walrus]

Strouty
Sorry to read this, sounds like a shitshow. I once worked for a family business, it was bad between father and son at times. I learned my lesson on that and kept kid away from my operation(he had no interest anyway but) Hope you can figure something out... Make sure you protect yourself

 

[Strouty]

Had my first “meeting” with Dad, apparently he has done a crappy job of communicating lately. His replacement of me has turned into hiring a second staff member to “help” me, but he says he wants to keep me so he doesn’t have to deal with all the BS of the company and he can keep tinkering with his toys, equipment, and the island. The one thing that he did say that makes me think this could change again is that he has to talk to the wife and explain everything to her. At least that confirms that she is the driving force behind all this.

If he does follow through with this plan, it would take some of the lighter tasks off my plate allowing me to concentrate on the more complex projects that have been delayed due to all the mess that has been created by the original office person leaving. He reiterated a couple times that he wants someone to supplement my position as an aid to me, not replace me.

We agreed for the time being that we won’t hire anyone until the office is completed and I have it all set up, that made me feel a lot better. We also agreed to try and work on a few issues, he thinks I am too condescending when I talk to him, his examples were a bit confusing for me, but they all revolves around me not realizing he didn’t remember what had already been discussed. Anyways, things could get worse, but this new attitude he has could move things in the right direction.

Fingers crossed, but either way I am going to work towards getting all my rights in writing.

 

[xtremek]

Prayers and hopes for you. At my age, I see that the issue usually has more than one contributing factor, and I'm usually part of the problem. I try to work on those, but at my age, changing a lifetime of bad habits is very hard. Remember, his bad habits are very old too, but if he's willing to work on them, give him the benefit of the doubt. Good luck man.

 

[rvieceli]

Good luck Strouty. Stay focused , stay optimistic but CYA all you can.

Ron

 

[Richard Cranium]

Remember we are all here for you.

 

[Strouty]

Thanks guys and gal (at least one), another episode of “as Strouty’s world turns upside down” brought to you by his Dad...........

 

[Duker]

Had my first “meeting” with Dad, apparently he has done a crappy job of communicating lately. His replacement of me has turned into hiring a second staff member to “help” me, but he says he wants to keep me so he doesn’t have to deal with all the BS of the company and he can keep tinkering with his toys, equipment, and the island. The one thing that he did say that makes me think this could change again is that he has to talk to the wife and explain everything to her. At least that confirms that she is the driving force behind all this.

If he does follow through with this plan, it would take some of the lighter tasks off my plate allowing me to concentrate on the more complex projects that have been delayed due to all the mess that has been created by the original office person leaving. He reiterated a couple times that he wants someone to supplement my position as an aid to me, not replace me.

We agreed for the time being that we won’t hire anyone until the office is completed and I have it all set up, that made me feel a lot better. We also agreed to try and work on a few issues, he thinks I am too condescending when I talk to him, his examples were a bit confusing for me, but they all revolves around me not realizing he didn’t remember what had already been discussed. Anyways, things could get worse, but this new attitude he has could move things in the right direction.

Fingers crossed, but either way I am going to work towards getting all my rights in writing.

Strouty, you are definitely “between a rock and a hard place” as they say. I don’t envy the conversations you are having but I think I can relate to some of it... my wife is facing the same communication issue with her father which appears to be similar to the one you are having with your father. My FIL knows he is beginning to have memory and cognitive issues and my wife in her frustration of saying the same thing numerous times or reminding him that something he said today was not what he said yesterday, and many other examples only reminds my FIL which makes him defensive and angry. My wife gets mad at me because she doesn’t understand why he and I get along fine. I remind her that as I don’t tell him this is the 10th time he has told me about his time in the dessert when he was in the Marines etc as I just listen. We all know it’s easier to deal with people who aren’t our family. If it was my dad I would be just as uptight. That said, once she just began to let the comments slide and helped him to regain some pride and dignity their relationship improved and it also helped her mother in being more patient and understanding.

I don’t know if your dad has those same issues but my reason for throwing it out there is that perhaps he is becoming aware of these issues and he is defensive but also by removing some of the frustration you take away one of the baits his wife can use to drive a wedge between you two. You may have already walked down this path and have thrown in the towel but I figured I would toss out my dime store phycologist advice...

Here is to hoping your relationship with your father improves in the future. [emoji3577]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

 

[ttpete]

Strouty, you are definitely “between a rock and a hard place” as they say. I don’t envy the conversations you are having but I think I can relate to some of it... my wife is facing the same communication issue with her father which appears to be similar to the one you are having with your father. My FIL knows he is beginning to have memory and cognitive issues and my wife in her frustration of saying the same thing numerous times or reminding him that something he said today was not what he said yesterday, and many other examples only reminds my FIL which makes him defensive and angry. My wife gets mad at me because she doesn’t understand why he and I get along fine. I remind her that as I don’t tell him this is the 10th time he has told me about his time in the dessert when he was in the Marines etc as I just listen. We all know it’s easier to deal with people who aren’t our family. If it was my dad I would be just as uptight. That said, once she just began to let the comments slide and helped him to regain some pride and dignity their relationship improved and it also helped her mother in being more patient and understanding.

I don’t know if your dad has those same issues but my reason for throwing it out there is that perhaps he is becoming aware of these issues and he is defensive but also by removing some of the frustration you take away one of the baits his wife can use to drive a wedge between you two. You may have already walked down this path and have thrown in the towel but I figured I would toss out my dime store phycologist advice...

Here is to hoping your relationship with your father improves in the future. [emoji3577]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

I agree with that 100%. Don't keep reminding him that he's said that several times. He knows that he could use about 32GB more RAM, and it's annoying to be corrected all the time. just let it pass or say "Right, I've been thinking about doing that since you mentioned it the other day, and I think we could do this......"

When we moved into our house, there was an old-timer neighbor who was one of the earliest residents in the area. He'd tell the same stories time after time, but I'd ask him about something else that happened at that time, and he'd remember and tell me all about it. He just needed to have someone jog his memory a bit, and he enjoyed digging out old memories that he had stored away and forgotten for a while.

 

[speedracer_uk]

Keep your head up Strouty. I think it must be something with Dads as they age, mine has become more and more cantankerous as he gets older. I think its something to do with not being as able as he was and that is getting to him.

Or the fact I don't blindly follow instructions anymore and use my own brain to solve issues!

 

[harley jim]

That sounds like it was a good talk. I'm glad for you and I hope you can find it in yourself to coddle your dad a little to keep things going your way. I had the same problems when I hired my Dad to help me. It ended up being the best business I ever closed.

Sent from my SM-A102U using The Garage Journal mobile app

 

[mybigwarwagon]

Glad things are turning the right direction. May be you need to have a regular sit down time with your dad to keep things headed that way.

 

[xtremek]

Maybe write everything down and the both of you review it when you finished the discussion?

 

[mybigwarwagon]

Maybe write everything down and the both of you review it when you finished the discussion?

Hire a stenographer?

 

[Strouty]

Until he agrees to sign things like that, I am a bit stuck. In this instance he not only has memory issues, but control issues and everything to him feels like he is losing control. I am sure that is where almost all of the problem rests. I want to have weekly meetings, I want to include his wife, but in the end one or both of them always have something more important to do. I will be working on things, our lawyer says to just send him an email regardless, then there will be some sort of trail that will be coherent.

 

[Monza Harry]

Keep your head up Strouty. I think it must be something with Dads/Men as they age, mine has become more and more cantankerous as he/they get(s) older. I think its something to do with not being as able as he was and that is getting to him.
This sounds familiar!

Or the fact I don't blindly follow instructions anymore and use my own brain to solve issues!
This also sounds familiar, Well all of this sounds familiar, Bidirectionally!

Until he agrees to sign things like that, I am a bit stuck. In this instance he not only has memory issues, but control issues and everything to him feels like he is losing control. I am sure that is where almost all of the problem rests. I want to have weekly meetings, I want to include his wife, but in the end one or both of them always have something more important to do. I will be working on things, our lawyer says to just send him an email regardless, then there will be some sort of trail that will be coherent.

This sounds like a plan Strouty, you may try "taking notes" of these talks [with him /in front of him] and giving him a copy to remind yourselves [Ok Dad] of the direction of the meeting including the finer points. Tell him that with the hustle and bustle of the days projects, including the many possible directions that you sometimes need help to remember which choice was actually chosen 2 days later, as you sometimes end up with a couple of the ideas discussed, competing in your head, this should reduce his anxiety about this happening to him, [while reminding him that changing his mind will have to be a "I was thinking and..." discussion, not a "you're wrong" discussion] and gives you something more concrete, and puts his words in front of him to make him remember. Glad this has become a better place for both of you!
Harry

 

[Strouty]

Thanks Harry, he and I will have to work through the meetings and get things figured out. The biggest issue that I face is the fact that he may be fine with the note taking and emails, but I am not so sure he will actually review things at a later date. This will be the hurdle that needs to be jumped, otherwise it is only a one sided CYA for me and not a tool for both of us.

 

[kaymccampbell]

It would be nice of you both used those notes, but the fact is that the most important part of them for you is CYA. Make sure you print them out and give him a copy. Both of you initial both copies.

 

[xtremek]

The good thing is that if you can at least get in the process of reviewing the notes at the end of a meeting, it may help clear up some future confusion. Review of meeting minutes before adjournment is SOP at work, right after round table.

 

[Strouty]

That might be the best way X, essentially review what the synopsis is and then I can email that to him.

I also want to involve another white board or two.

I just picked up the Burb I bought last week, definitely parts, but lots of good parts for sure. It will most likely become the donor for the white Burb that has the bad 454, this way I have everything I need for the conversion and it will allow me to upgraded a few things since the donor truck is an SLT version that has more options.

I may be going to Florida next week to pick up a vehicle my buddy bought from a government auction, if that happens, on the way back I will be picking up another Burb from Jersey.

Last week I took a bunch of the miscellaneous scrap I was tripping over to the scrap yard, while steel prices are down, copper prices are way up. Got almost $500 for what I figured might be $300. I am going to try and get one more run over there on Monday morning, less stuff to trip over and more money in my pocket.

Pics of the newest Burb:

Looks good from a distance, but there is some rust, honestly it is in better shape than most 10 year old trucks on the road in this area.



I needed the white GMC grill, bumper is pretty decent, but not perfect.



Nice seat covers and weather tech floor mats, going to have to see if the heated seats work.



Fancy chromed handles for the doors.



Full GM manual set.



Decent seat, lots of times there is no third row seat, they seem to disappear after a while.



Spare pieces and parts.



Previous owner added grease zerks to the barn door hinges.

 

[lilscorpion]

I’ve been following along, really sorry that anyone has to deal with later in life stuff especially when it’s within the family unit. I’m not looking forward to it.

I’ve leaned in business that most problems end up being the people. Dissimilar personalities, opinions, beliefs, or dealing with a good ol boys club. In order to change an outcome, you may not be able to change the players so you have to figure out how to manipulate the game.

Here’s what I would do...I’d implement a framework to help manage the business. The framework would enable some serious transparency which could be used to remind him frequently without needing the be “a reminder”. In short, he can forget and that’s ok. The beautiful thing about such a framework is it benefits everyone and doesn’t have to be about him. The only contribution he’d need to make is to show up to contribute for a very short amount of time to participate and then the rest of his time he could tinker, play, or daydream.

What I would do is hire everyone now, don’t wait. The sooner there are more people invoked, the more complex things become and that’s good. For starters, you’re not your fathers only focus but the added hustle and bustle of warm bodies can also be the reason you need the framework. Leverage their help to get things in order via the framework. It’s how large IT companies pivot quickly and still get things accomplished amidst hundreds of different toys if personalities, self-serving mindsets, etc. Most importantly, it’s designed with roles which insulated the big wig from those doing the work without the big wig from feeling left out. Note or less, within a framework you can call the shots but enable him to be the owner.

 

[Strouty]

I wish it were a bigger organization, essentially there is Dad, my Cousin (laborer/babysitter for Dad), the new person for the office (not ready to hire yet), and Me. So I take on multiple roles, if not all of them for the business. I refused to have signing power on the checking account, so Dad still has to sign the checks, of course we are doing less checks all the time, I have been trying to transition things to make the office aspect easy and doable from a remote perspective. Dad thinks that if there is someone in the office, that I don’t have to do any “bookkeeping or menial tasks”, in reality someone always has to be on top of things as far as the accounts go, someone that understands the big picture. That is where he and I disagree, I would prefer to keep doing the books as it allows me to see exactly what is going in and out so I can plan for his next “project”.

I wouldn’t mind having help, but what I wanted was someone that could transition from the office to the field without any issues. That would allow me to have help with other things as well. Dad doesn’t like this idea, he wants the old school cute, young female secretary type. I can deal with this, but my guess is he will send them down a rabbit hole every time he calls or stops by. They won’t know any better and then we are paying someone to do stupid tasks and I am back to handling everything again. Dad’s biggest issue is no one (except me) will tell him NO.

 

[xtremek]

That Burb looks incredible compared to the ones around here. Will you strip it quickly?

 

[Strouty]

I am not sure what one I am going to start with yet, I think it will be the white 454 and this new one, only because the white 454 doesn’t run now. If I buy the gray one in Jersey, it will be fully operational, may even be a temporary DD while I work on other things.

 

[Strouty]

SolidWorks is probably the most common 3D modeling software in the mechanical engineering/design world. There are some ways to get the legal, "educational" version of it for low cost($50/year) via some various clubs, I'm a member of EAA soley for this

https://www.eaa.org/eaa/eaa-membership/eaa-member-benefits/solidworks-resource-center

This seems like a great deal, I am currently trying a cracked version, if that doesn't work, I will be joining the EAA for sure. As an individual it is only $40 and if you sign up for automatic renewal it drops to $36

 

[rmalkow2]

That white Burb sure looks like it has a lot of good usable parts. Hope you can make one really nice one out of the others. that interior looks really nice and will make for a comfortable ride.
I’ve got another vehicle coming as well. Haven’t taken possession yet but should this coming week. Not a Burb but should be a fun ride. But I still can’t keep up with you!!!

 

[mybigwarwagon]

Not a bad parts truck.

Only one of mine didn't come with a third row seat, but I do have one out of another truck in the shop so I guess it technically has one.


IF you do go to FL wave on your way through NC. I will lock up my burbs.

 

[Strouty]

If I was on my own, I would stop by and meet your Burbs, next time for sure!

RM, I think I will be able to make two pristine ones once (and if) I get the gray one from Jersey. Both will be diesel, both will be loaded, both will have no rust anywhere!!!!!

Then I have to decide if I am going to build a couple beaters or what. Most likely I will also be making one really good yard plow, from there I think the rest will get swallowed up as parts and dismantled as I can. My Cousin may be interested in the one from Alaska and that wouldn't hurt my feelings a bit.

 

[Strouty]

Friday morning I am flying to Florida with my friend to pick up his new 2003 Chevy Astro Van, going to be a fun ride. I have scheduled with the guy in Jersey to pick up another burb that came from Florida, figured it saves me some fuel picking it up in Jersey rather than Florida, right?



So far this week has been going more smoothly with my Dad, I think the conversation we had was actually worth the effort. On Thursday we are going to work on assembling some of the pallet racking in the Quonset hut, I am a bit concerned that he can't see the big picture and wants to only do the short sighted, easy way for now. I will have to work on my approach, I don't want to erode what progress we have made so far.

 

[xtremek]

I know you already know this, the key is patience.

 

[Strouty]

That is why I didn’t become a doctor.



I knew I would never have any patience.

 

[1Garageman]

Dr. Strouty kind of sounds good though! So are you two driving non-stop backup to New Jersey from Florida?

 

[Prospecter]

When I was a young guy, an old guy told me that younger folks think about what projects they can get started, and older folks think about what they can finish. Now, as an old guy, I find that to be so.

 

[smalltown]

Strouty glad to read things are better.

 

[Strouty]

We are going to stay over night Friday in Florida, then leave Saturday in order to be in Jersey by Sunday afternoon we will find a good place to stop on the way back, should be doable, but the guy in Jersey says he may be OK with Monday as well. Funny part is he is headed to Maine every week, but he doesn’t have two drivers. If it wasn’t for all this COVID, I would have been down to get it earlier.

So starting projects is a young man’s sport, finishing them is an old man’s game?

I will reserve the right to wait a while before I openly admit things are really going better.