hello everybody, it's been a few months since i last came here and posted crappy pics. those months were horrendous and terrible. there is no lessening of the pain, not even after almost nine months, there is no way out of this for me: i can try to hide it or try to forget it's there but it's of no help, it's getting worse every passing day. can't think straight, forget to shower for days or weeks at a time, no appetite for anything, cut down on coffee and tea not by choice but because it's too complicated to make when you forgot that you've left some boiling water on the stove for the last two or three hours, cannot work much anymore because i start feeling brain-numb and can't bother to continue doing what i started. can't find words to type most of the time, can't be bothered to take pics nor do simple tasks like renewing my ID card(been on the table for eight months now: pixes, prints, docs, whatever they need to issue a new one), won't even try to get behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle in fear of killing or maiming someone. can't really sleep too, nightmares abound and if no nightmare, getting out of a dream to the grim reality of her absence is worser than everything else. as i seeing all the places we've been to, the people who knew her or stuff that she would have liked that i buy absentmindedly only to realise too late that she's not here and won't enjoy it.
that's my life now. alone. with the ghost of our love haunting me. good thing i'm alive methinks, it could be worse.
tool related content: didn't even go fetch the Stahlwille Rollmaster i paid. just plain forgot about it for months and months after wanting one for years and even enlisting Muriel in the search for most of that time...
ps. won't bother with shrinks, they're useless when you know all the tricks in their bag(s) and almost criminal when they spout that slimy fake empathy.
pps. thnaks again to everyone that sent me a PM, some i answered some i could not, not because i didn't want to but because i couldn't find words even simple ones. sorry. especially Franz, i'm trying. it's hard. sorry.
ppps. i'll try to sell/give away lots of stuff in the coming months if i feel well enough to do it. so don't be surprised if unanounced stuff arrives on your doorstep or if i politely ask for a postal address.
sorry for any mispellings, non-words, verbifications and syntaxic/grammatical errors and everything else that has gone haywire, including but not limited to all the faked funny posts and the off-topicky stuff and the no-show promised pixes or replies and this lame post. sorry again.
Those two foam grip ones are new. 
, faster than any other electronic I own. The 2476tx1 in the photo rusted after a month.
