Maybe I am just a fanatic, but anytime I deal with engine parts that have been run, especially heads, they get taken apart and put in the hot tank, maybe even the ultrasonic and then media blasted. Just to hard to see whats going on with carboned up and greasy, dirty parts.
As for the lapping of the valves, once everything is clean, and the valves and seats do not appear to be pitted, then by all means lap them. This is simple high school shop stuff, not worthy of a big debate. Lap the valves, the line will tell you most everything you need to know. After lapping, use a flashlight on the valve and look into the port for light.
Before getting to far along in the reassembly, torque the heads down and do a leak down test.