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Grunge Garage

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gtlaw

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I commend you for putting in the effort to making your life better I hope you succeed
 
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BigWil

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Bill, I hope the dentist visit went well...and that you have continued working on the house.

I don't want to sound like a jackass, but you need to get going on it. We haven't seen progress in a long time...I'm concerned it's back to were you started.
 
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bczygan

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2 big molars pulled. Thought they were pulling out my whole jaw. Then they scraped infected material off the jaw bone. Felt like scraping a lawnmower blade over rough concrete. By the time I got to the Rx for pain meds I was hurting real bad and clamping gauze to try to stop the massive bleeding. Thought I would bleed out. Reclined in the seat in the van in the parking lot outside Julie's work while she got caught up. The hot sun in the car and the meds and I fell asleep. A couple hours and woke up and the bleeding had stopped. One more pain pill at 8PM and I am now waiting for the gums to close. 1 stitch came loose and gum is sore but eating and drinking now fairly normally. Still have about 12 more to come out. Some have infection below the roots and need to come out soon. Others are ground and broken off at the gum line and also need to be removed. Will have partials upper and lower. This is what happens when you don't take care of your teeth for 15 years or more.
 

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KingB

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Hey Bill,

Been reading through, though not all but enough to see the struggles you face. I had to double-check your local just to be sure you weren't a family member (in TX) going through almost the exact same situations. It's all I can do to drop what I'm doing and fly up to lend a hand.

Forgive me if I've missed it already, but perhaps selling off whatever you can now will help to cover those dental expenses. Maybe there's tools, devices, or widgets you could part with and post it in the GJ. That way you'd know it's going to be appreciated.

Try printing out a couple (ONLY A COUPLE) of images from some Jack's, Red Leader's, or some other garage you admire and post them up where you can to help encourage and inspire. Meanwhile, avoid purchasing any more "good deals", stay off CL, eBay and the likes, unless you're selling. Got it? ;)

You're a good man Bill, hang in there and continue to forge onward!
 

Kevin54

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2 big molars pulled. Thought they were pulling out my whole jaw. Then they scraped infected material off the jaw bone. Felt like scraping a lawnmower blade over rough concrete. By the time I got to the Rx for pain meds I was hurting real bad and clamping gauze to try to stop the massive bleeding. Thought I would bleed out. Reclined in the seat in the van in the parking lot outside Julie's work while she got caught up. The hot sun in the car and the meds and I fell asleep. A couple hours and woke up and the bleeding had stopped. One more pain pill at 8PM and I am now waiting for the gums to close. 1 stitch came loose and gum is sore but eating and drinking now fairly normally. Still have about 12 more to come out. Some have infection below the roots and need to come out soon. Others are ground and broken off at the gum line and also need to be removed. Will have partials upper and lower. This is what happens when you don't take care of your teeth for 15 years or more.

You'll be surprised as to how much better you'll feel once you get all that infection out.
 
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bczygan

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Any update? I see Bill has had plenty of time to worry about squatters in his neighborhood...

What I am discovering is that focusing on any one thing in my life while ignoring all others is not good. The thing that makes me feel like a complete human being is to do everything. Take care of my health, my relationships, my house and yard, my community, my GJ threads, etc. etc. etc. I cleaned out the fridge today and am now going to the fruit and veggie store. Looked up homemade cleaners online and they worked great. While all these things are going on I put together a toolbox for my grandson and got him a partial starter set of tools from good buys and my existing tools. Will do a thread on it one day. I also have a grinder stack thread I will post. Today I fixed the back door so the cat can't get out. Also today I helped a bunch of guys in a van who had their front end linkages break and lost steering. Figured out a method to move the wheels and guided them to get it out of the street and parked. I threw out a dumpster full of computer disks and trays. Cleaned and reinstalled some more storm windows to get the house warmer. Cleaned off the entire front porch and walk and picked up ivy from the side of the house. Put a couple of dumpsters in longer term storage to make the house look better from the street. So it's the whole enchilada that makes me a whole person and one I like, one worthy of a nice place and good health and good relationships.
 
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bczygan

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Pics of the house? Kitchen? Master Bedroom?

No progress on kitchen.
Master bedroom has not backslidden (That's not a word!). Whenever a few things start piling up I go through them and put away or toss.

Today was spent working on cleaning out squatters and securing a home in the neighborhood. See the last post of my Squatting thread:

http://garagejournal.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2133131&postcount=101

Then took Julie to the dentist and picked up food for the week.
Front and side of the house photos tomorrow.
 
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bczygan

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I'm a little disgusted. When you don't have your life well in hand, with everything taken care of, then any little thing can bring the house of cards tumbling down. We have been hearing a low pitched growl when the Astro Van was being driven. Took it to Belle Tire and they think it is the rear differential. With all the other things that are needing to be fixed on the Van, and the cost of fixing the differential too, we have decided to let it sit at the house and be the backup car.
Thankfully we have the 99' E350 my brother gave me. I just put 1K worth of tires on it last night to make it safe for Julie in wet and snowy weather since it isn't AWD like the Astro. I need to get some weight in the back of it too, for traction.
Had to clean it out since it only has vision from mirrors and the back windows, no side windows, And I have been using it to store things. It had many bags of clothes needing to be washed and many more bags of bottles needing to be returned. It also had a horizontal band saw, a floor mounted camel back drill press and Baldor pedestal mounted grinder stored, waiting to go into the garage/shop. I had to remove them and the clothing. They are on the front walk under a tarp, being rained on. I will get them in the garage. Bottles and cans will be returned today. Wash will be begun in a few days.

This is what happens when you live on the edge. You are always putting out fires and playing catch up from emergencies. My aim now, is to redouble my efforts and get ahead of the game. Get this messy house off my list. I takes dogged work to clean off your plate. Even when unexpected things come along, you have to continue.
If you can ever get even with it or even ahead, and have a buffer between you and any unexpected surprises, then you can go to bed at night without as much fear. But you can't let things go, as I have, or it all catches up with you and overwhelms you. And then you have to dig deep and dig out.
 

-Brent-

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While you have the dumpster for the squatter house, you can start throwing away junk from yours!

I'm a realist and I'm sorry to say this thread will never reach the end many would like to see. At least not the way bczygan is living now. It's a shame, too. There are so many people willing to help. This issue isn't about the accumulated "stuff." The stuff is the result of habituated behaviors. Some term it as a disease, others say bad habits, but simplifying it down to the simplist level - it's a choice. After the choice, it's commitment to your word - THAT takes integrity. So, at the root of all this, it's being WAY OUT OF INTEGRITY. This reaches everywhere in Bill and his wife's life.

bczygan has a nice story to tell when something doesn't work out around him. It's his exit strategy for his commitment. This thread is a perfect example of it. bczygan, I wish you all the best but I have a suspicion that you're really just 5% committed to change.

You want dramatic and immediate results in your life? Unplug your computer, disconnect your cable and Internet, and stop with the "story." Get back to restoring your word, i.e., your commitment to all the areas of your life.

To simplify things further, here's the process: Do what you said you would do by when you said you would do it. When you do not, clean up the mess you made by apologizing (a real earnest and authentic apology) and recommiting yourself by making a NEW commitment and then keeping your word to that. When you mess up here or there, repeat, and so on.


The world we live in is a word giving world. We see all sorts of stuff out of whack. Look at the root of the issues, somewhere along the line the integrity (and commitment to it) was lost.

I'll be honest, integrity wasn't my strong suite growing up. I needed someone to slam me over the head with the truth, then I needed to admit to myself that I had a nice "story" to tell to try to get me out of my BS. That BS story never really worked. It was quite an experience cleaning up the messes I made in my life. I'll tell you what, though, cleaning that stuff up allowed me a life I never imagined. And, a clear conscious is the softest of pillows.
 
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BigWil

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Spend the 10g's for a new house in your neighbourhood. Then go through your current house, take out what you need (not want) and bulldoze it. Hell, buy the house that you just kicked the squatters out of.
 

STINEY

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^^^^

This is the brightest pathway into normalcy that has been suggested yet.

Excellent idea. Probably financially by far the best as well.
 
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bczygan

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Spend the 10g's for a new house in your neighborhood. Then go through your current house, take out what you need (not want) and bulldoze it. Hell, buy the house that you just kicked the squatters out of.

Funny that you mention that. When the house next door was for sale for 5K, Julie wanted to buy it and move in. I could see us creating a double lot empire, especially at the time. Then I realized we would just make it exactly like what we have here. Now, while I can still imagine a double size lot and twice the enclosed space, it is abhorrent to me to imagine filling another house the way we have this one. I can't imagine having TWICE the stuff we have now! And we don't have the 5K anyway, or even 1K. So moot point.
We do have a nice neighbor who moved in and is supportive of us cleaning up our act. He puts gentle pressure on me and we have become friends.
I am afraid that walking away won't change our habits or mind set. The struggle is in our heads.
Today is particularly difficult. I have a trash can full of trays of 1.44 meg floppy disks to throw out. I want with all my heart to keep them another week. I should roll them out to the curb.:dunno:
They are full of software for the old desktop machines still sitting in the office. Perfectly good XP and Windows 3 Emachines. Almost can't breathe, thinking about it. This is hard.
 
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bczygan

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Took $65 worth of cans and bottles back to the store last night. We drink WAY too much pop!
Put all the dirty clothes bags in the Astro to take up to the laundromat.
Trash cans out for pickup.

To Do List and shopping list for today:
Chicken Breasts
Pork Chops
More laundry detergent
Candy in afternoon
$100 MO send

Wallys - call for differential install price
Grease differential
Call on Differential part price

Glass table top broken and dumped
Cat new home ad
Cat medication stuff for izzie and water
Bird new home ad

Machines into garage
Fill dog food bins
Clean bedroom (Straighten and pick up)
Clean bathroom
Clean entry to dressing room
Compressor out of garage
Tire pumped up and on trailer
MP560 ink
 
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rlwhitetr3b

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I am afraid that walking away won't change our habits or mind set. The struggle is in our heads.

That is what a lot of the posters here do not seem to understand. The condition your house is a problem, but it is a symptom of a bigger problem. By working through the process of cleaning up the house you are winning the war on the bigger problem.

Don’t give up and quite! Remember how much worse you felt when you started this journey and think how good it will feel when it is done.
 

BigWil

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That is what a lot of the posters here do not seem to understand. The condition your house is a problem, but it is a symptom of a bigger problem. By working through the process of cleaning up the house you are winning the war on the bigger problem.

Don’t give up and quite! Remember how much worse you felt when you started this journey and think how good it will feel when it is done.

While I agree that this is required, it will cost Bill a lot more to fix his old place with the mold, sewage in the basement, lack of heat etc, than to buy a new place. It would also be a lot better for his health.
 
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bczygan

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And -Brent- above was right in that I need to just do it. His post literally stuck in my craw. That's how I knew it had truth in it. I have this thread and all of GJ as a place to go to escape doing anything. It's a safe place to have fun and avoid things. I've got to do more DOING, and only post real big progress.
 
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STINEY

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Funny that you mention that. When the house next door was for sale for 5K, Julie wanted to buy it and move in. I could see us creating a double lot empire, especially at the time. Then I realized we would just make it exactly like what we have here. Now, while I can still imagine a double size lot and twice the enclosed space, it is abhorrent to me to imagine filling another house the way we have this one. I can't imagine having TWICE the stuff we have now! And we don't have the 5K anyway, or even 1K

You missed, either intentially or subconsciously, the part about "then bulldoze it". I guarentee you that NOBODY is suggesting that you keep your current home intact. You and I both know you will have way more than 11K in repairs to your current home. Just please be honest with yourself and us and admit that you could never bear to part with the house either, even when it is financially beneficial to move.

Cat medication stuff for izzie and water
Bird new home ad

Weren't we told that the bird had a new home? And no money for true priorities, yet plenty for the cat?

That is what a lot of the posters here do not seem to understand. The condition your house is a problem, but it is a symptom of a bigger problem. By working through the process of cleaning up the house you are winning the war on the bigger problem.

Don’t give up and quite! Remember how much worse you felt when you started this journey and think how good it will feel when it is done.

You might be suprised how many posters understand all too well exactly what the problem is. Granted a fair number don't, but you can bet that by now most are completely on board with what the problem is.

Some people are determined to live in squalor, for their own reasons. Why they also need virtual pats on the back for accomplishing basically nothing is also a manifestation of their problem.

Trust me when I say I understand the situation. I could be Bill's son; I complete empathize with his kids.

Imagine how a child feels when they finally figure out that stuff/garbage is way more important to their parents than their own children are?

Herein lies the true tragedy that has yet to be discussed. Try cleaning that one up.
 

rlwhitetr3b

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If he and Julie decide that they feel a new start would really be a new start and a solution, you have a point. They would have to be ready not to let it happen again. They do seem to have a different outlook than when this thread started. Only they can decide if they are ready.
 

Phxphenom

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You have just confirmed my worst fears that NOTHING has really changed since your first post. I wish you the best Bill but I can't watch this trainwreck any longer. It is just too disrespectful to not only yourself but also to those who have tried to offer assistance.



Funny that you mention that. When the house next door was for sale for 5K, Julie wanted to buy it and move in. I could see us creating a double lot empire, especially at the time. Then I realized we would just make it exactly like what we have here.
 

jjpp

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I'm not trying to be funny but this thread is beginning to remind me of the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day. Everyday Bill wakes up and he wants to make changes but wakes up the next day to the same thing all over again. The only thing is the movie has a happy ending. Keep working at it Bill, hopefully you can be happy one day, just get off the computer and not just this website then get off your rear and make it happen.Let us know when your done.
 

reddog289

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After re reading this tread, I too get tempted to just start over and move, But My list of to do ain't as long as yours so I too will keep plugging away at it.
 
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bczygan

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No more posts with photos until substantial progress. Thinking of no more GJ posts either. Cleared stair today and part of living room. Cleared front walk and porch. Filled 2 trash cans for tomorrow. Substantial progress means another room cleaned to normal standards without filling the stair, porch or front walk.


Update:
Thought I'd just put interim updates here as text.
Spent this morning (Sunday, Mar 11) on the roof clearing off an area of approx. 8'x8' of 2' thick ivy vines that grew up the brick wall and chimney and over the roof. Also an area of wall. Still a lot to do on the brick and chimney. Will need to build a scaffold for that. Filled 2 large trash cans and have 2 more piles to pick up. There was an inch of dirt on the shingles. Whole roof needs strip and replace.

Update Wed, Mar 14
Got 7 trashcans filled and out for trash day tomorrow. Will try to fill 2 more tomorrow morning. Did more cleanup in front yard and back yard with good weather. Cut down scraggly tree and cut into pieces and put in dumpster. Got city to trim another street tree that split and was laying on some street lighting wires. Did some raking and grading with a shovel.
Looking around yard I'm horrified at the mess. It's the sheer volume of stuff. Everything is stacked and in bins or covered by tarps, but it is like inside the house. So much stuff that you can't get at it all to use it. I used to be able to just NOT see this, even while looking right at it. Now it is all too plain. I'm starting to make piles of things that will just go......somewhere......anywhere. A wood sled, a plastic toboggan, a glass lamp with tattered shade, piles of bricks, stacks of rotting lumber, picture frames left out in the weather, a cracked compost bin, a bin of clothes that got wet, boxes of books and magazines that got wet, etc. etc. And I am still not ruthless enough. There is a trash can full of 1.44 floppy disks in trays that I still haven't discarded. Maybe I'll just look through it, say goodbye and push it to the curb tomorrow. And I'll put the gutter I ripped off the house, out for the scrappers too.
I am getting very critical with the front and side yards. NOTHING that doesn't belong there can remain. I removed a bucket that didn't belong. I won't leave the trash cans out there on the walk all the time anymore either. They are getting put away right after trash day. I don't like seeing neighbors leave their cans out in view all week. I won't do it anymore either.
 
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takeiteasy

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Good idea to stay off GJ. I have been following your progress as well. Have heard you say a lot of clearing the stairs, etc. Seems to me just quit putting it on the stairs. Hope you can have your kitchen cleared out sometime soon. Imagine it all cleaned up and using all the appliances! Being someone who did collect some junk (not to your extent), I now love to clean things up, throw things out, give stuff away free on CL (as long as you can control yourself from getting new stuff, this is a great way to get rid of stuff. People take all kinds of stuff - you can get rid of things faster and don't have to worry about useful things being scrapped).

Just curious. You mention about the vans you drive and about being tight on funds. Would it be worth it to get rid of one van and buy a car? You can get cheap older cars that get great fuel mileage (over 30 mpg vs 20 mpg on your van on a good day).

I'm rooting for you, but like many, get discouraged by the progress. All the best on your work here! I'm still following.
 

vartz04

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you say you don't have the 5k, I bet I could get double that in 1 week from selling your stuff. all the trailers, and the broke down astro alone will get you 5k at the very least.

Then sell the house for 1k after you buy the new house. Someone will doze it and put something nice there.


You have a basement covered in dried **** water, no running water, no heat, you are breathing in things that will kill you before you are done with this. Ditch the house, see a doctor, and start fresh, you won't have the time/money to do to this house what you did to the last. Grab enough clothes to get you buy for now that aren't covered in rat ****/your ****, basic kitchen ware, and what not and move. And now that you have the mindset that you don't like living like this don't let it happen again.

You will never have the money/time once this is cleaned out to do the needed repairs on the house if it is even doable, structurally the house is probably garbage and no one will work on it anyway without doing MAJOR (READ EXPENSIVE) work.
 

Bob Heine

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Bill,

Please keep making progress on the house. When you get it to the point where you can address the structural and service system issues, you may come to the conclusion the house is past saving. If or when a city inspector forces that decision on you, I hope you are far enough along on the cleanup that you have a choice.

Although this has been mentioned in passing, you seem to have a potential solution to your bio-hazard living accommodations sitting in the driveway. You are in the same situation as people who try to live in their home while doing major renovations. The cleaning process makes the living harder and the living (moving boxes from room to room) makes cleaning harder. Can you spend time making the Airstream habitable? You could have a connection added to your city water line on your side of the meter (with a second shutoff to the house). Your sewer line should have a clean-out that might allow a connection to the bathroom in the Airstream. You would have a 25-foot home with working amenities and no one would have to navigate your basement. Although it is a small space, it has about the same volume as your current living quarters upstairs.

You shouldn't even need to have an inspector inside the house so you could avoid the risk of being outed to the authorities. In several of your posts you describe how much fun you and your wife have camping in the pop-up campers. Make the Airstream your living quarters and you have a very short commute to work in the morning. Leave your laptop in the Airstream and go into the house. Take your lunch break in the Airstream and in the evening you can stop work inside the house and leave everything behind. Turn the Airstream into your minimalist environment with all the amenities and none of the health hazards.

A week's worth of clothes for your wife can be kept in the Airstream and the dirty clothes can go in the laundry van.

Speaking of laundry. You are buying new (or used) clothes rather than washing the clothes you have. If you took three bags of dirty clothes (whites, lights and darks) to the laundromat every week (or two) rather than once a year, you could have a supply of clothes that isn't expanding and you could turn a huge undertaking into a manageable task. We now have a huge front-load washer and dryer but their predecessors weren't large enough for some of my wife's bed quilts. I used to take those to a laundromat and it took about an hour to wash and dry it (enough to take home and hang up on the clothes line for a final fresh-air dry). If three bags is too much, take one load of whites and start.

Your addiction is harder to overcome than alcoholism. An alcoholic doesn't have to go in a bar and "free liquor to a good home" signs are rarely seen on the internet or posted on telephone poles. You have to go to stores of all kinds and the word "clearance" appears in almost all of them. Couponers on TV proudly show us how they get 1700 jars of peanut butter and 64 liters of prune juice for nothing.

Wendell Berry, farmer and philosopher believe that peace in communities all over the world will come only if we “…waste less, spend less, use less, want less and need less.” It is equally true in our personal lives. I regularly reset my 'want' and 'need' lists. Unfortunately posts on GJ drag me back.
 

Bob Heine

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For those who feel compelled to throw rocks at Bill, please pause for a moment and review Abstamaria's Modern Garage in Far East thread:
http://www.garagejournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=71002&highlight=east
L1010740_2.jpg

If you still believe you have the right to cast the first stone, have at it.
 

jjpp

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Bob is that a garage or a lab??? How can you stand to do any work in there, you must spend 5 times longer cleaning up after your done.
 

Bob Heine

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Bob is that a garage or a lab??? How can you stand to do any work in there, you must spend 5 times longer cleaning up after your done.
jjpp,
That's not my place. I admire but don't aspire to that level of cleanliness. I was using Andy's place as an example, admonishing the people who pass judgement on the conditions of Bill's place when their own surroundings might be less than perfect.
 

sillwic9

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Bill -

I just spent way too much time reading this entire thread. I have noticed progress made physically in the pictures but as well as mentally in your posts. I'm going to have to print this off and show it to my dad since he, just like his dad, is an avid collector (hoarder). I can already tell that my dad is overwhelmed by the size of his mess, although it is not to the level as yours....yet.

Hoarding is a disease. Getting your teeth fixed is a great place to start with helping yourself feel better. You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel once you get your teeth fixed and they get all of the infection out. The B12 shots will also help greatly. (I give a lot of those in my job and get to see the first hand effects of the medication.) I can also say first hand that depression has a major effect on persons view of their possessions. I've been on anti-depressants for the better part of 2 years now after having a major breakdown and almost losing my entire family, and can tell how much easier it is for me to be able to let go of things and just enjoy being awake every day.

While I understand the people saying to stop with the bs and just get busy, I also understand needing the reassurance from friends that you are on the right track. Look at it as an AA meeting. Addiction is a legitimate disease, and you've been addicted to collecting.

Keep up the good work. As long as you don't give up, you can't fail. Keep moving forward my friend and you will succeed.
 

reddog289

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I hope Bill is taking advantage of the good weather we hae been having here in Detroit. This winter has been funny, Seems like every time a car breaks down at my house the weather went bad for the day I worked on the vehicle.
Thats why this last weekend I said enuff is enuff. If anything Bill has taught me that you shouldn't let things get out of hand. My Daughter is getting rid of her car today, Which makes room for me to work on getting rid of the old daily driver. This time next year I hope the only cars I have parked in my backyard are plated and insured.
If anything I got outta this , Is that I don't want to end up in BILLS SHOES.
Keep on workin Bill.
 
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