I got 2 pairs of jeans, a pack of plastic crappie lures and a moral dilemma.
I have been wanting a roof basket for my 4Runner really bad for months. My monther in law said if I give her 2 weeks she will buy one. Sounds great and all BUT my mother in law can’t afford to even buy me the $90 Curt roof rack from Walmart wich I would honestly be happy with. My mother in law has recently taken in her ex-sister in law who is has a very aggressive cancer, can’t work and days away from being homeless when my MIL took her in. My mother in law has mediocre income and is close to having to take early medical retirement her self.
I’m sitting here going thanks but you can’t do this and if I tell her not to it will crush her spirit and I’m sure in her mind make me seem ungrateful. I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to my wife about it yet as my mom is in town and I don’t want to talk to my wife about it in front of my mom or my kids. I’m sure my wife will be just as unsure about the situation as I am.
Let her buy the gift; just make sure you find sneaky ways to quietly give it back and then some over the next few weeks and months.
For example, you could fix or upgrade something she needs on her car or house.
In a similar situation, I once managed to get hold of the person's car for a day on the pretense of taking the car in for an oil change. I brought it back cleaned and detailed with a full tank of gas, new tires, oil changed, air filter changed, and a few pesky little issues (heater fan switch, intermittent speaker, etc.) sorted out.![]()
Let her buy the gift; just make sure you find sneaky ways to quietly give it back and then some over the next few weeks and months.
For example, you could fix or upgrade something she needs on her car or house.
In a similar situation, I once managed to get hold of the person's car for a day on the pretense of taking the car in for an oil change. I brought it back cleaned and detailed with a full tank of gas, new tires, oil changed, air filter changed, and a few pesky little issues (heater fan switch, intermittent speaker, etc.) sorted out.![]()

I got 2 pairs of jeans, a pack of plastic crappie lures and a moral dilemma.
I have been wanting a roof basket for my 4Runner really bad for months. My monther in law said if I give her 2 weeks she will buy one. Sounds great and all BUT my mother in law can’t afford to even buy me the $90 Curt roof rack from Walmart wich I would honestly be happy with. My mother in law has recently taken in her ex-sister in law who is has a very aggressive cancer, can’t work and days away from being homeless when my MIL took her in. My mother in law has mediocre income and is close to having to take early medical retirement her self.
I’m sitting here going thanks but you can’t do this and if I tell her not to it will crush her spirit and I’m sure in her mind make me seem ungrateful. I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to my wife about it yet as my mom is in town and I don’t want to talk to my wife about it in front of my mom or my kids. I’m sure my wife will be just as unsure about the situation as I am.



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I was thinking the same way as a couple others on here. Have a friend that has the same problem with credit card debt and can't pay it off but loves giving people gifts and buying things for themselves. Well it's got out of hand, but I started asking for counsel on what to do and how I could help them, the wise gentleman told me "you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped." "They must admit they have a problem first."
Does your MIL know she can't pay for that type of a present or is she just caring enough that she wants to see you get something you've wanted. I'd say if you and your wife think she honestly can't afford it then go to her and talk to her and say it's not a necessity. The girl with cancer is. Otherwise let her get it for you and just keep giving back on things you can provide that she couldn't otherwise afford. That gift alone will make you happier than the rack on your vehicle. I learned the hard way on that one.
ON the Christmas present thing, was def. surprised when I opened an Amazon box and found a Henry lever action rifle stuffed inside. That is a first, That's a tool I can always use and hang in my garage.
I got my keys locked in my car with a three hour wait time due to the snow. Merry ******* Christmas ����
ON the Christmas present thing, was def. surprised when I opened an Amazon box and found a Henry lever action rifle stuffed inside. That is a first, That's a tool I can always use and hang in my garage.

gdpolk epic knife vise. Mind sharing the make n model?
While they don't get much love I only buy QR ratchets, I work on power equipment so one job can require 5-6 different size sockets. I hate nothing more than struggling with greasy hands to change a socket. Snap on is particularly bad and has very strong detents. The non QR GF80 I own is almost impossible to remove a small socket from without using a screwdriver to pry it off.Very nice......I have the non QR version.. so it just sits in the toolbox. I like yours..would be my go to..
I think in the fantasy world my MIL is often in she can afford it. My MIL is often in a fairytale world where everything is great everyone likes her and she loves everyone. My mother in law every once in awhile has an issue at work or with her oldest son but other than that life is a Norman Rockwell painting 24/7. My wife’s dad is a heap of trash that treated my MIL and the 3 kids horrible during their marriage andeven after the 3 kids were grown. I think it cause my mother in law mental strain and now she is over medicated and this fantasy world has caused financial mismanagement for many years.