Best one-line advice?

[mkdive]

No matter how much you polish a terd......its still a terd.

 

[tatra]

women, children and idiots should never see a job until it's finished.............

 

[spencejm]

"Never go to bed mad."

Advice given by my Grandad (married 61 years) to my Dad (married 54 years so far) and then to me (married 27 years so far)

Joe

 

[Kev442]

K.I.S.S.








10 characters

 

[dlwilson]

if you understand things, they are how they are; if you do not understand things, they are how they are.
Gensha

 

[Garage_Mahal]

If it has t*ts or tires, you are going to have trouble with it.

The wisest man in the world knows what he does not know.

 

[TheGrooveking]

Here is one I used on a boss once:

"Second guessing me doesn't make you smart, second guessing me makes you a ****"

I gave notice less than 10 minutes after that and his response was you can't quit, you are fired - I retorted, call it you what you want but I'll leave my keys on your wife's pillow, ****. He was the CEO, I was the President of the company.

TheGrooveking

 

[Mike14k]

"the world is populated with dumb asses"

 

[Ratdawg]

"Don't mistake good luck for bad procedure"

"Everyone likes a little ***, but no one likes a smart ***"

"It takes many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it"
-Chinese Proverb

 

[rasit]

If it smells like cologne, leave it alone....

 

[Cliff McNeill]

"Endeavor to Persevere!"

 

[DocsMachine]

"Pillage first, then burn".

Doc.

 

[wbrian63]

A dumb man won't notice it, and a smart man won't say anything - my grandfather - maybe not the original author, but he's the one that told me first.

A lie can travel half-way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes - Mark Twain.

Never let your schooling interfere with your education - adapted from another Mark Twain quote.

Problems are just opportunities in work clothes - Henry J. Kaiser

The best thing about the truth is you don't have to remember who you told it to - author uknown.

There is no "I" in Team, but there is a "U" in douche-bag - author unknown. Accurate characterization of some of the upper management where I work...

Digging a deep hole is no big deal until you're the one holding the shovel - me.

 

[johnnybentwrench]

"Theres an *** for every seat" PT Barnum

 

[Major Ramifications]

"A gun is like an erection, it's better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it." - me

"I'd rather be shot at with a .44 than shot with a .22"

"I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six"

"It's better to be safe a million times than to get killed once" - Mark Twain

"He who is willing to sacrifice essential liberty for temporary security deserves neither" - Benjamin Franklin

 

[WVBrady]

"Never wrestle with a pig; you both get all muddy, but the pig enjoys it" Junior Parsons (probably an old Southern saying)

"Never forget; that paper will lie right there and let them write anything on it that they want to." Friend of my dad's.

 

[Even 11]

Keep Right

 

[6530]

"I suggest you make a list of the things you most want in life. Then spend the next 25 years accumulating them."

 

[Even 11]

I've been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding! - Harvey Danger

 

[Even 11]

An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.

-Robert A. Heinlein (both)

 

[welderwink]

You cant turn ************ into chicken salad.

 

[Danglerb]

You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.

 

[4x4gearhead]

An old mechanic that mentored me used to always say that his mother would tell him "Never sell your tools kid"

 

[lodemia]

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? - Who Guards the Guardians? (Juvenal)

Carpe diem - Sieze the day.

Carpe noctum - Sieze the night.

In vino vertitas - In wine, truth (meaning the truth comes out when someone's drunk)

And for the non latin...

The American Republic will endure until the day that congress realizes it can bribe the public with the public's own money - Alexis De Toqueville

Never confuse urgency with importance.

Never underestimate stupid.

Never hire anyone who isn't willing to slug you when you're wrong.

I'll have to think of more.

 

[lodemia]

Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day, set a man on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.

 

[49tandc]

"Never waste an erection, never trust a fart."

49T&C

 

[The Rider]

The man who has everything is envious of the man who has two of everything.

 

[RRmech]

Advice from a co-working, after I pissed off THE biggest employee on the RR:

"I'd get outta here if I was you?"

Steve

 

[JerryTX]

If it f*cks, flies, or floats; its cheaper to rent it.

 

[Interex]

One man's trash is another man's wife.

 

[lodemia]

A variation on a common one, upgraded for the digital age:

If it has bits or wheels, you gots problems.

 

[Griff93]

"Experience is what you got when you didn't get what you wanted"

"Be careful son, I think it's loaded"

"It's cheaper to buy it than to marry it"

 

[LocoCoco]

"No matter how hot she is... someone, somewhere is tired of her ****."



LC.

 

[rwhite692]

"If you think you cant, your right"

That is a piece of the Henry Ford quote:


"If you think you can do a thing, or think you can't do a thing, you're right."

 

[hamma]

"No dumb moves."
My buddy's father always used to say that to us before we went out partying.

 

[odds&nz]

"Predicting rain doesn't count..... Building Arks does"

 

[Jeff]

Always carry condoms.

 

[Quint]

"I think we're going to need a bigger boat."

Bravo

 

[Quint]

"Work smarter, not harder"

 

[rwhite692]

"I don't know if I need a frontal lobotomy....

....or a bottle in front of me"