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Buying your stuff two times

6768rogues

Banned
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
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4,524
Location
Western NY
When my son was single and dating, my advice to him was, "No matter how hot she looks and how nice she is, there is some guy somewhere who is sick of her ****."
I have been happily married for over 30 years and would not trade it for anything. Being married to the wrong woman must be terrible.
 
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TheEquineFencer

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Joined
Jan 15, 2009
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9,273
Location
Farmville, NC 27828
I have been married 41 years. Would you guys tell me what the main reasons for divorce is.I seriously would like to hear. Please dont offer if you have not been divorced.

Money, attitude. I'd never had an overdraft on my credit line until I got married. First month she spent more than both of us made on "necessities." Talking to her and coming up with a fixed financial plan did no good. She was one hell-a-va cook. Problem was she wouldn't clean. She worked a full time job as I did and baked high end wedding cakes at home for "extra money." I never saw anything but the mess. If people saw how the house was they'd never let her bake another cake for them. We had a plan to save $1000.00 a month to use to pay down on a house, we did hit the goal in 12 months after a few "non-physical "fights" with extra cash to spare. I explained we could do this for 5 more years at our present rate and pay cash for a house. She said she would leave before waiting that long. First two months in the house, yep, he went back to her spending habits, more than we made. I was talked into a variable rate loan by her and her family, went form $500.00 to $750 to $1200, guess what? At that rate we could have stayed where we were to start with and had cash in our pocket. I felt like I saw in a crashing plane and the ground was getting too close, so I bailed out.
 

JoeFin

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Joined
Sep 13, 2013
Messages
717
Location
NorCal - where the Rednecks Race
Double Edged Sword - I got everything - the kids - the house - all the bills - and ALL the responsibility

First wife got hooked on first diet pills then harder stuff while I was traveling the country for the eng. firm I worked for. 10 days on / 5 days off and no telling what I was coming home to when I finally got there. Went on for 2 years before I finally pulled the plug and called CPS on her for beating my then 7 year old boy

Long story short - she got the clothes on her back - and I got everything else.

Many would think that would be pretty great - except no descent woman will touch you ever again because you have broken the "Secret Taboo - of raising your own sons" - and winning in divorce - which is strictly against the rules for American women

A friend introduced us, and I remarried 12 years later to a proper Filipina woman, for whom

1 "Divorce" doesn't enter into her mind the first time she doesn't get her way.
2 Takes pride in her relationship, home, and proper lifestyle
3 and above all else - "Values Family"

Their is a reason feminist hate these women coming over here - they can't compete
 

Lassen Forge

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Apr 26, 2014
Messages
15,010
Location
The romantic hills of central Umbria, Italy,
was married 17 years, ex turned to large amounts of alcohol, and continuously started arguments over petty things... the day she started to pull a gun on me, that nearly ended her life, we split 3 weeks later.

that was 16 years ago, havent seen her, talked to her, or had an email from her since.

:beer:

I know a couple where the husband was Army Ranger LSRD, did competition shooting, etc, etc... Wife was an interpreter for the Navy Seals, also does competition shooting, etc, etc... I've always wondered if they got in a shooting match, who would win.... :dunno:

Ours lasted 10. He was a cop with marksman quals, I was a competition trap and rifle shooter. We had issues (I'm laughing a bit because a lot of what you're describing as "her" worked both ways for "him", especially the pigsty syndrome) but the ender was during our final bout of hallway *** He mentioned he'd shoot me dead if he could reach his Beretta... I told him he'd have to get there before I reached my 12 ga... we each then looked over our shoulders me at his service pistol, him at my shotgun rack on the wall... and realized it just wasn't worth it. Havent seen each other in over a decade - yeah, I wonder how he is, but going back? NO F***'N WAY! And I'm sure he'd say the same thing. We were great as friends, but sucked at being married to one another.

Who woulda won? In a hallway faceoff, it kinda sorta wouldn't matter.

All in all - we both worked long shifts, had second jobs to try to catch up, which was fine... but it fell on me to do all the housework and laundry and cleaning as well - he wanted not a wife and a partner, but a mommy who would pick up after him. Between that and finances (we had limited cards and a second on top of a first) it came apart.
 
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Kevin54

MEMBER EMERITUS
Joined
Jan 12, 2005
Messages
29,341
Location
Urbana, Ohio
I have been married 41 years. Would you guys tell me what the main reasons for divorce is.I seriously would like to hear. Please dont offer if you have not been divorced.

Money and ambition, If there is neither in a marriage, it won't last.

Money is the #1 argument in a marriage, and I think Ambition, or lack of is the #2 cause for arguments.

In my first marriage, I always wanted more out of life. By that I mean I wanted a decent house, a decent car, but nothing high end. I was working a job as a Setup Man and Groupleader making a whopping $5/hr. on second shift. My ex was working second shift at another factory making $10.50/hr. We had just bought a house and signed for it the day before she told me she got fired. She was off on medical, and the day she was SUPPOSED to go back to work, she didn't. The Union Rep said that they would fight it and she could get her job back. She didn't want to fight it and told me "You know that I don't like factory work" :wtf: So who has to get a second job to try and make ends meet?

When we divorced, I owed $28,000 on a house that was worth $90,000. This was in 1990. She got the house. When she sold the house, and was moving out of state, she owed $65,000 on it, and sold it for $65,000 so she could get out of paying anymore on it and she could move. Where the **** her math ever came from is beyond me. She has filed bankruptcy twice, but yet has had decent jobs.


The ex and I went around so many times fighting about money, and I was tired of working 2 and three jobs at a time trying to make ends meet, and the bills paid on time. My dad and I had a side business of painting cars and repairing collision damage, I would do remodeling on homes, and I had a regular job. So yea, at times I could get in a very pissy mood, and she didn't care. If I even mentioned about her getting a job, **** would hit the fan. She tried to tell me that she had bouts of depression.

So money and ambition, or lack of, to me are two of the biggest reasons for divorce, and then fidelity comes into play. After fighting about the first two, one starts looking somewhere else for someone to get along with. *** also plays a huge part in a marriage, so I guess one could bundle that with fidelity. After a while, when couples fight over money, fight about the other being lazy, you surely aren't going to have any fun in the sack.

That's one thing about my wife now......there has never once, in the 24 years we have been married, ever got into an argument about anything. I cannot even recall any time that we even got into a heated discussion about money. Her and I both worked at the same shop, and we both put in a shitload of overtime, so we were always on top of things when it came to money. We have always been truthful with the other about everything. Even the bartender at the bar I used to go to with some coworkers in the past, she also lives down the road, and she told my wife on a few occasions that she married a hell of a guy and she would never have to worry about me with someone else. I never knew I was being reported on :lol:

My wife always told me that if a spouse is always happy at home, then there is no reason to stray. :rocker:
 

DekeT

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Joined
Aug 12, 2011
Messages
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Location
USA
Reminds me of the old and bad joke. "If I had killed that woman 20 years ago when I first thought about it, I might be getting out of jail about now."
 

EOC_Jason

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Jun 25, 2012
Messages
11,388
Location
Bentonville, AR
Maybe this will cheer you up...
 

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Ajustable

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Joined
Feb 20, 2014
Messages
153
Location
Niagara
35 year relationship, 30 year marriage, four college educated Kids, One family run business, two grandchildren, these things have all changed for me now. Because of a divorce.

Why the divorce, well only one reason for me, "Lack of Communication", she and I never really understood what the other was trying to say. We always seemed to misinterpret the others words.

After a heated discussion, I would try to reflect on what she was saying to me. I would apologize, try my best to be a better person to her, I believe she did the same for me.

Marriage is a road, with lots a hills, your both on bicycles peddling together, every hill is another test for the marriage, the first hill could be In-law hill, the next Money hill, then the dangerously treacherous *** hill, Etc Etc. If you can both peddle those hills together, good a happy marriage. But as long as your married, that road will bring another hill, both of you have to peddle to make it up and over. God help you, if you both can't make the hill together.

I needed to reach back and help my mate peddle up our last hill, she needed to try a little more on that last hill. Damn

Back to the shop!
 
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kbs2244

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2006
Messages
14,065
I hope I am past this point.
(48 years and counting)

But isn’t' there a legal way around this problem?
If you see this as a possible problem down the road, and depending on state laws?
Maybe setting up an LLP or Corporation and having it own all the high dollar stuff?
(Complete with S N and bill of sales.?)

There is a reason the concept of “pre-Nuptial” agreements was invented.
Even if it is “Post-Nuptial” maybe you can catch her in a good mood.
 

crewchief888

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
13,736
Location
NW indiana
Re: buying your stuff 2 times...


i also solved that problem by never ( very, very rarely) selling tools or shop/garage equipment no matter what happens.


fwiw
i make my living with tools, and have been since '76
my tools are paid for,
i cant buy them again for what i paid for them...

i've gone without any "recreational" activities, cut back on food, shut off cell phones, ect to put food on the table, keep the lights and gas on for us...



:beer:
 

bgarrett

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2006
Messages
4,393
I'm really starting to see why guys are marrying guys, and women marrying women, because neither one really gets along with the opposite *** anymore. You hear more about women splitting from women than you do men splitting from men. That just goes to show you that women can't even get along with one another


Its a good thing that men dont understand women. Women understand other women and THEY DONT LIKE THEM
 

R6 Racer

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 21, 2010
Messages
1,632
Location
Northern Ontario Canada
I feel your pain...
31 years, no major problems ever...
Typical stuff, disagreements, arguments, even some good screaming matches over the years but always ended up making up & solving the issues. Always discussed the big & medium stuff. Never had any infidelity problems, never hid stuff from each other...

I'm no longer working & am at home with a permanent disability pension (MVA) I still do stuff but much slower & for only a fraction of the time. I keep the laundry done, cook dinners & keep the place tidy. Even managed to finish a new deck this year.

Wifey is 3 years from retiring. Kids are basically gone, (24 & 27) & i'm looking forward to having that time together.

Then BOOM! She has a revelation that she is not happy & 31 years of what I thought was a fantastic marriage, over!

Just found out June 30th... 2 things i'll never forget, "I'll always love you" & "It's nothing you did or didn't do, it's me"

I'll tell ya ... that news will leave you messed up for a while!

Now i'm hoping & praying I don't have to buy half of mine from her!....
Before anyone rips on her, I have to say, in all fairness she is being reasonable & neither of us wants a legal battle. After the initial shock & the resulting scraps from our first attempts at working through things. Things look now like they will all work out ok for each of us.

Damm... this **** *****!



OP... I hope it works out ok for ya!

skyking I wish I could tell you..:headscrat. but you made it longer than me :dunno:

Steve
 
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OP
J

J king

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Joined
Jun 1, 2013
Messages
786
Location
Ne oh
Yep Steve ..It ***** but It has been getting better every day.lBit by bit but is heading in the right direction.I took a month leave of absence because I couldn't think straight.No ****. I was afraid of messing up a million or more dollar part machining on it.It wasn't worth it..
She messaged me today about sons college money for this semester .I told her she has his money now! Lol!!! She can cough it up.
 

Lassen Forge

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Joined
Apr 26, 2014
Messages
15,010
Location
The romantic hills of central Umbria, Italy,
She messaged me today about sons college money for this semester .I told her she has his money now! Lol!!! She can cough it up.

:thumbup: Good for you! Can't stand people like that... she doesn't get that she already scalped you for what she did (sorry, I look at Alimony as scalping money - she should learn how to stand up on her own 2 feet, damnit...) and no longer has her hand in your pocket to try to wheedle, whine, or coerce any more, and thinks somehow she can sweet talk you into paying, and paying, and paying... after you're already paying and paying and paying.

You should tell her "For such things there are student loans, and maybe she should start applying for them for the son's college money...

There is something to this comment... Especially those who can't (or won't ) stand on her own 2 feet and earn a living... rings so true...
Its a good thing that men dont understand women. Women understand other women and THEY DONT LIKE THEM !!!!!
 

tractordude

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2009
Messages
2,226
Location
WI
I'm not divorced, But I pay Personal property taxes on my tools and equipment on January 31 each year.
I paid sales tax when I purchased the stuff, And now a % of the value, each year for 7yrs~until its depreciated. That really grinds my gears.
 

Todd.Brock

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Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
4,248
Location
Cincinnati
While I don't have anything to contribute to divorce , you can learn a little about yourself reading other folks story. Money, communication, team work, All good things to remember and practice. Reminds me just how lucky i really am to have found the "second time around"" women you all describe on the first and probably only time around for me.
 
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