There's a couple of different ways to do what you want... Wylie is trying to help you do them right. The guy knows his stuff.
You mentioned that you are building the shop and that the meter will be located there. My question is, what size is the service going to be? I ask because a typical 200A service meter only has one set of lugs for conductors. That's fine if the panel in the shop has a set of feed through lugs that you intend on sending over to the house, just understand that if you need to shut off the shop panel for any reason, you are also dropping the house. Not a big deal, just be aware of that.
Another option would be to ask the POCO to install 320A or 400A service. Typically, a service meter of that size has two sets of lugs, so you could run one set to the shop and the other set to the house. You would likely have two disconnects located right there at the meter, one for each feeder. That way you could kill power in the shop without any impact to the house. Just something to think about.
Now, if you are set on the idea of feeding the house panel from the shop panel, that's totally fine. You could run the feeder from the shop to the house and into an Automatic Transfer Switch (ATS) that hangs on the side of the house. (3R rated enclosure.) The feed could come straight up into the bottom into the ATS, and the feed from the generator could also come in from the bottom. If you wanted to, you could likely have the feed from the ATS to the house come out of the bottom, too. I just checked the dimensions on a Kohler single-phase ATS, and it's 24.5" tall, 13.2" wide, and 7.1" deep. (The Service Entrance rated ATS with a breaker is slightly bigger at 28.9" tall, 16.4" wide, and 6.9" deep.) So imagine three, 2" conduits running in parallel from the ground up into the ATS in a straight line.
http://www.kohlerpower.com/home/home-generators/products?prodNum=RXT-JFNC-0200A-QS7
A typical 20kW residential generator is good for about 80-85A. (Technically 83.33A) If you have done a load study and know that your house loads will be under 80A, then you're good. If not, then you need an ATS that has an automatic load shed function that can shed certain loads under higher load demands. Typically, the load shed function has a set of current transformers (CT's) that monitor the load on the system, and has load shed relays that can dump big current draw items such as your HVAC, or electric Oven. The Kohler ATS I linked to above has the option for load shedding if you wanted/needed it. (Kohler refers to it as a "Power Relay Module." You can connect up to four of them to the ATS )
The concern about sending a couple of circuits from the house back to the shop for a light or a fridge has to do with safety. The concern is that someone would come into the shop, trip the breakers in the breaker panel except for the main, and assume that everything in the shop is dead. If they didn't know/realize that the main panel had feed through lugs, and the house still had power, and that those two circuits from the house to the shop still had power... they would be in for one hell of a surprise. (Which could be deadly.)
It doesn't really matter where your generator is located in reference to the ATS. Personally, I wouldn't want my generator right next to my house due to the noise... but that's just my opinion. My in-laws didn't have much choice, being in town on a small lot. I installed their 20kW generator 5' from the house and poured a concrete pad for it, with an extension/dog leg that extended to the house. That way, I had a solid foundation from the generator to the house for mounting the conduits and fuel line. (One 2" conduit for power, and a 3/4" for control circuits. Pic attached during installation for reference.) It's setup to do a test run once a week, every Saturday at noon. They can hear it, but it's next to the garage vs. a bedroom, so it's not that bad.
For a propane unit, I'd likely want my generator closer to the tank. The drawing that Noltz did is kinda like I would be thinking. Not only is it close to the tank, but it's all hidden behind the shop. Out of sight, out of mind... especially when it comes to thieves.
A residential propane unit will likely be a vapor withdraw system, so you'll need a decent sized fuel line from the tank to the generator. Looking at the Kohler spec sheet for a 20RESCL and it's saying you'll want a 3/4" line up to 25 ft. from the tank, 50-100 ft. requires a 1" line, and 100-200 ft. needs 1 1/4" line for LP.
So if this were my project to design/build, the first thing I'd be asking the home owner is what they want... do you want it to be as least expensive as possible? If so, then you will likely be giving up some aesthetics. (It might not look pretty.) If you don't mind that the generator and LP tank is right next to the house, then we can hang the ATS on the side of the house with a short run from the generator to the ATS.
To me, I like the thought of the tank and generator behind the shop. I'd mount the ATS right next to the power panel in the shop and stub into it there, and run a set of conduits from the generator to the ATS, then run a conduit from the ATS directly to the panel in the house. (Two conduits if you needed to use the load shed function at the house, or wanted remote monitoring of the ATS and generator in the house.)
Hope this helps.
Mark