Dad, say it aint so!

[KMinAF]

The other day I went to my parents house to borrow a special tool that I knew my father had only to find to my horror that he had decided to "minimize and reduce". He had selected just the basics and then donated the rest to the local thrift store! Fortunately he saved a few of the old tools from when he had his shop back in the 60's many of which came with him from England during his apprenticeship. However, many of the tools I grew up with including his old Craftsman top and bottom boxes are gone. I hope they have gone to someone who will appreciate them but I believe who ever you are you have earned the GJ YOU **** award.

 

[Aspen RT]

Wow, thats too bad.

 

[91bronc300]

Does your Dad not like you? I could see if he sold them off but why give them away to a thrift store before giving you a shot at what you wanted? That *****. Being from Utah I'm guessing they all went to the Deseret Industries.

 

[Midman914]

That really *****!!! Time for the retirement home.

 

[toolstools]

Wow. Your dad just said he hated you and you are definitely not in the will...

 

[Givl Reggin]

Wow. Your dad just said he hated you and you are definitely not in the will...

WOW! You guys are looking at this all wrong... what his dad is most likely thinking is that my son can afford anything he wants, he certainly doesn't want this old worn out stuff. I'll give it ways so someone less fortunate can have some tools.

 

[twokidsnosleep]

Wow, that blows me away he would do that. Sorry to hear it.
I missed out on many of my dad's tools after he died as I didn't realize how fast the vultures descend. So for my kids, I will be way more upfront with them.
My 11 year old asks if he gets every tool I buy...he usually comes along with me and we have fun poking though tool stores, so he will get it all when I go...hopefully along time from now

 

[rusty65]

Man that really stinks but the tools he kept are probably the ones he cherishes the most.

 

[bob from indiana]

I would be going to the thrift shop in a hurry.

 

[CNGsaves]

As parents age, they do crazy stuff like that . . . after my mom died, my dad did let us kids pick some furniture items we'd like so he could "downsize" some of stuff in house. However, later he decided to have an auction and sell off a bunch of stuff! Worst part was antique picture frame sold actually had family member in pic and us kids didn't notice this until after the bid was ended. Buyer refused to "sell us" the picture back, as he wanted the frame and picture as they were both antique!!

Later learned that dad sold on eBay (with his new wife), all my mom's collection of Christmas ornaments . . . . . Arrrrgghh!

OP it's time to get all the kids together to help the folks with retirement / estate planning. There may be bigger problems looming than just tools !!

P.S. Agree with earlier post . . . run down to that thrift store ASAP !

 

[bobcatdan]

My grandpa is doing the something. Doesn't think I have no I interest in anything even thou I have told him I want everything. Would rather sell it then pass it me. Laughs at me if if I wave money in front of him.

 

[jeffmoss26]

When my grandmother passed away, my grandpa moved to a much smaller apartment so I got quite a few tools. I've set all of it aside and one day hope to pass it on to future generations.

 

[jjjrmx5]

When my father passed away some years ago, my inept teenage nephew descended upon his tools like a hawk using the "I used Grandpa's tools last so they must me mine" motto so off they went with him without my knowledge. I was fumed.

My father was not a tool guy so there was not much he had that i would have "needed" per se' but it's the memories that count.

My mother now suffers from dementia and gave away to Goodwill or threw out thousands of dollars worth of my 50's, 60's and 70's era baseball cars I had collected as a youth.

Once it's gone, there is nothing you can do .

As folks age, things get strange fast.
BTDT.

 

[zkling]

Just follows my rules for life.

1.) Trust no one.
2.) Always expect the worst in people and you will never be disappointed in them
3.) Very seldom will someone do something for someone else, unless there is a direct benefit for the giving individual. You need to find an incentive to give to the one whom has what you need/want. Weather it be a emotional favor, time or a physical item as in this case.

In my experience this applies to EVERYONE, even "family".

It really ***** that happened to you OP

 

[McFarmer]

I just need the kids to get their stuff out of my house. I say if it is here 5 years after you move out, don't be surprised if it turns up gone.

We could start with two cats.

 

[Canoe50]

Just follows my rules for life.

1.) Trust no one.
2.) Always expect the worst in people and you will never be disappointed in them
3.) Very seldom will someone do something for someone else, unless there is a direct benefit for the giving individual. You need to find an incentive to give to the one whom has what you need/want. Weather it be a emotional favor, time or a physical item as in this case.

In my experience this applies to EVERYONE, even "family".

It really ***** that happened to you OP

Trust no one, even family? Thanks, but I'll pass on your rules for life.
Although I would apply them to most politicians.

 

[byoungblood]

My both of my grandfathers were always giving away tools to son in laws or grandkids such as myself and my brother (my cousin didn't show much interest in tools). My father continued the tradition and gave me and my brother first grabs at whatever we wanted before he cleaned out his shop before selling the house last year. Same thing happened when my dad's father passed away 5 years ago (seems just like yesterday...still miss him).

 

[littletoes]

I just need the kids to get their stuff out of my house. I say if it is here 5 years after you move out, don't be surprised if it turns up gone.

We could start with two cats.

A-MEN TO THAT!

Don't know how many times I've seen kids move out of their folks place, and buy a cat or dog-not realizing they live for about 15 years---AND THEY ARE RENTING! Apartment owners don't want to deal with the mess, and I don't blame them.

This is just a tiny example of kids just taking it for granted that their folks have nothing better to do than store their kids ****.

I refuse.

I've haven't asked my folks to store anything for me, and I'm not going to for my kids neither....my oldest son is already starting to pile car parts in my garage...boy is going to have a rude awakening when he gets home....

I don't know, I would think we have some older Garage Journal folks here, they MUST realize they ain't going to live forever....I'd like to hear what they would say on this subject.
Hopefully they have given it some thought.

 

[03protege]

Just follows my rules for life.

1.) Trust no one.
2.) Always expect the worst in people and you will never be disappointed in them
3.) Very seldom will someone do something for someone else, unless there is a direct benefit for the giving individual. You need to find an incentive to give to the one whom has what you need/want. Weather it be a emotional favor, time or a physical item as in this case.

In my experience this applies to EVERYONE, even "family".

It really ***** that happened to you OP

Jesus it's not like he broke into the OP's house, stole his tools, and then donated them.

 

[KMinAF]

WOW! You guys are looking at this all wrong... what his dad is most likely thinking is that my son can afford anything he wants, he certainly doesn't want this old worn out stuff. I'll give it ways so someone less fortunate can have some tools.

You are probably closest to the truth.

 

[Jagmandave]

It does bring up a couple of interesting points tho.....

At some point in your life you realize that you probably aren't going to be puttering around in the shop the rest of your life, much as you might like to or think you will and maybe you don't really need the whole garage full of tools you've collected over the years, so what should you do with them now?

If you have kids who live nearby and can/will use them, it seems natural to ask them if they want them......but......

My kids live on opposite ends of the country from me, getting several thousand pounds of tools to them would be expensive, and then what do they do with them once they no longer need them?

On top of that, if you could sell them, maybe it's more important that you keep the money to live on? It's getting really expensive to live in this country, especially if you're on fixed income or only SS.

I don't know if either of my kids would want my tools, my son already has a pretty good collection of his own, and my daughter really doesn't need them or have a place to keep them. One of my two grandsons might want them, but thats a few years off yet, and where would he put them as he moves thru his last years of school and starts his life?

Getting rid of them before I'm too old (or dead) might be a good idea.

In addition to all the tools I've collected and used thruout my life, I have a big wooden box that my great grandfather made (he was a carpenter) full of old handtools that I've enjoyed having and using - because they connected me to my great grandfather and my dad who gave them to me - but what am I going to do with them? The box is nothing special in terms of it's construction and the tools are just garden variety stuff for it's time and while they may have sentimental value to me, I doubt they do to my kids.

I guess the real message here is to talk to your kids, grandkids, nephews or whatever and plan ahead?

 

[woody 73]

Trying as hard as I can to get my boys interested in my shop tools my two teenage boys have no interest and I say that with a heavy heart. If they do not want them when they get older I will sell them.

 

[jakemac]

I'm facing a somewhat opposite issue. My grandfather (dad) is 90 and going in for hip surgery tomorrow, before having his heart issues addressed. He's been telling me for years to take whatever I want out of his shop, but I just can't take his tools while he's still around. I've been planning on doing a swap for like items, but still feel like I'm cleaning him out and can't do it. The shop was his sanctuary where he could get away from my grandmother for a few hours, and I won't take that away from him.

It'a a shame that your father didn't give you the opportunity to take what you could use before he gave it away. Perhaps now he will know how much the tools mean to you and will save what's left for you when the time comes.

 

[mtwaterguy]

Just follows my rules for life.

1.) Trust no one.
2.) Always expect the worst in people and you will never be disappointed in them
3.) Very seldom will someone do something for someone else, unless there is a direct benefit for the giving individual. You need to find an incentive to give to the one whom has what you need/want. Weather it be a emotional favor, time or a physical item as in this case.

In my experience this applies to EVERYONE, especially "family".

It really ***** that happened to you OP

Here, I fixed it for you. Having been involved in dispersing a couple of estates, there's nothing worse than trying to work with family at this time. Not having a will makes it worse, but even with one, family members usually have a hard time working together.

 

[Flatland Dave]

Some very valid arguments on both sides of this. My father sold the house I grew up in last year. He said take what you want. I ended up with a drill press, and a few hand tools which reminded me of the man who could fix anything. I will use the drill press, but the hand tools are put in the special tool box, and will get occasional use. I also have a few tools from my wife's grandfathers workshop. Those reside in the "special tool box" as well. It is not so much the "stuff" for me, but more of a tie to where I came from.

 

[fflintstone]

My one aunt and uncle cleaned out most of grandpa’s tools long before I could get to them. My gramps didn’t die at the time just got a divorce after 51 years of marriage to what was for him a miserable witch.


I did get a great Cman DBE wrench set and speeder ratchet before he moved out. (Both lost in fire #1) But the uncle basically stole most power tools, and any newer hand tools. My dad got back a few things, which I now have.


I do believe in karma though my uncle cut his finger off with grandpas stolen table saw.

 

[zkling]

Trust no one, even family? Thanks, but I'll pass on your rules for life.
Although I would apply them to most politicians.

Just what I have learned from my own personal experience. You would be amazed at the actions of some, even those close to you.

 

[wkearney99]

Reminds me to get in good with a coupla old guys I know...

 

[crazytrain]

That ***** that your dad gave it all away without asking you first. But like someone else said he may have thought you would not be interested in his old worn stuff and decided to let someone else less fortunate have a shot at it.

My grand father on my dads side passed away almost 20 years ago. His garage sat with all his tools for for a year before my dad went down and took what he wanted (only a very small amount of tools). Then it sat for another 18 years before Grandma got sick. I went down with my dad and helped clean out the house and garage for resale. My dad asked if I would clean out the garage while he worked in the house. He told me I could have what ever I wanted in either the garage or the house.

I brought home every single tool I could with the exception of a few screwdrivers and one small box which had the roof leaking onto it for a long time. All the screwdrivers were rusted together in a rusty mass and most of the handles were falling apart or rotted off. I felt terrible throwing it way but it was to far gone to save. We rented a UHaul truck and I filled at least 1/2 of it with tools, tool boxes and hardware.

My dad knows that I would like to have his tools too one day (hopefully a long long time away). He has started giving me some now, I need to get out there and get some more since he has moved from a house to an apartment and is now storing them in my sister and brother inlaws garage. Neither one knows how to use what he has or which end of the hammer to hold. So they don't need them and will likely just get rid of them if something ever happens.

 

[worknhard]

It'a a shame that your father didn't give you the opportunity to take what you could use before he gave it away. Perhaps now he will know how much the tools mean to you and will save what's left for you when the time comes.

The immortal words from a classic movie... "What we've got here is failure to communicate".

If you have aging parents/relatives who own something that you would like to have, let them know... and tell them why.

 

[ATC]

Trust no one, even family? Thanks, but I'll pass on your rules for life.
Although I would apply them to most politicians.

Especially family! Many families are torn apart when the parents pass away because everyone fights over their stuff. I've witnessed people driving straight from the funeral home back to their parents house to start grabbing stuff before anyone else can.

When my Great-grandparents passed, my mom and her sisters were feuding for a while over it. My mom lives 500+ miles away, so she was left the scraps...

 

[Gotmayhem]

Damn, a lot of sad stories in this thread.

The only one in my family who really had a proper tool collection was my uncle. When he passed I believe my cousin inherited the collection but they live on the other side of the country so I have yet to see it in person. My cousin isn't a "tool guy" but I can say with certainty that they're in safe hands with him.

My issue coming in the next few years is my own toolbox. I may be having a job change , probably out of automotive, and I do not currently have a garage of my own. Hopefully some local family will be kind enough to give my box a home if the need arises. Good thing I'm on good terms with everybody in the family because some of these stories are scary. Can't trust anybody huh.

 

[Bill Ramsey]

I just need the kids to get their stuff out of my house. I say if it is here 5 years after you move out, don't be surprised if it turns up gone.

We could start with two cats.

haha^

Agreed on pets. Short-term relocation...sure, if you're paying for the food and there's a definite end date attached to the deal.

 

[Kev442]

I'm facing a somewhat opposite issue. My grandfather (dad) is 90 and going in for hip surgery tomorrow, before having his heart issues addressed. He's been telling me for years to take whatever I want out of his shop, but I just can't take his tools while he's still around. I've been planning on doing a swap for like items, but still feel like I'm cleaning him out and can't do it. The shop was his sanctuary where he could get away from my grandmother for a few hours, and I won't take that away from him.

It'a a shame that your father didn't give you the opportunity to take what you could use before he gave it away. Perhaps now he will know how much the tools mean to you and will save what's left for you when the time comes.

At 90 he's not going to be wrenching anymore.
My Dad gave me his SK 1/2" drive set last winter. He's 80. I asked him if he wouldn't like to have it just in case. He looked at me and said "I take it in to get fixed. I will never use this again." He uses a yard service now too. Gave me his Toro personal pace and leaf blower. He kept the snowthrower in case he needs it because they are late to clear his driveway.
Take it before he decides you don't want it and gives it away.

 

[rusty65]

Yeah I agree kev422 maybe your grandfather would like to see you set up your shop with some of his tools and use them to be more at peace with giving his tools away I know my grandfather loves it when I tell him about when I use his old tools for example he gave me his old taps and a tap wrench and he liked it quit a bit when I told him the projects I was using them on and it made him smile out of happiness to know his old tools were being used and taken care of properly.

 

[Southernbuild]

My one aunt and uncle cleaned out most of grandpa’s tools long before I could get to them. My gramps didn’t die at the time just got a divorce after 51 years of marriage to what was for him a miserable witch.


I did get a great Cman DBE wrench set and speeder ratchet before he moved out. (Both lost in fire #1) But the uncle basically stole most power tools, and any newer hand tools. My dad got back a few things, which I now have.


I do believe in karma though my uncle cut his finger off with grandpas stolen table saw.

LOL

 

[Displaced Hokie]

That *****. Old folks do weird stuff sometimes. He probably thought you didn't want to be bothered with the stuff.

My uncle had an old Chevy truck...not classic, but mid 70's and better than the "no truck" I had at the time. I expressed that I'd take it, and pay whatever. No word. Asked again. "Well, that truck had so many problems, we didn't want you to be bothered with it. We donated it". Grrrr

 

[justanengineer]

Here, I fixed it for you. Having been involved in dispersing a couple of estates, there's nothing worse than trying to work with family at this time. Not having a will makes it worse, but even with one, family members usually have a hard time working together.

IME, the folks who argue otherwise usually havent had the "pleasure" of dealing with many or large estates. Sad but true - in my short lifetime of not quite 30 years Ive watched ~80% of my namesake family pass on, several with decently large ($1M+) estates. Many argue this in the hopes that their family really is "holier than thou"/closer than most, but frankly it only takes one person/spouse/semi-literate douchebag wanting/needing $$$ to start a ******* contest which after lawyers and taxes will eat most of an estate. Unfortunately the best practice if youre on the giving side IMHO is to give away the sentimental things while youre alive and leave only $$$ and an order to sell everything else. On the receiving side, if someone offers you something, dont be shy in asking for something reasonable. I wouldnt ask for something if offered nothing, nor would I ask for all of someones tools if they offer you one thing, but asking to trade one for another isnt going to make you seem greedy.

Sorry OP, I know it ***** but please dont make the mistake of being hard on your Dad. Remember, you only have so much time together so cherish it.

Personally, my Dad's been trying for a few years to give me more of his NOS tools that were his "spares" from way back when. Honestly, it would be too weird for me to unwrap/unbox and use them and also hurt the value, so I finally told him outright to sell it all and enjoy the money with Mom. The only things I wanted were one or two of his common, daily use tools like the old red framing hammer hes used for 30+ years now, bc they were his "real" tools. He countered a few weeks later by offering his first box, a JH Williams roller set that his father bought for him to take to college (diesel tech) in 1954. I was pretty shocked after talking about it with him, I only vaguely ever remembered seeing glimpses of it as a kid bc he kept it locked up - its got quite a few tools his father and grandfather handed down to him, and a few other small sentimental items. I havent gotten it yet but Im not worried, Mom knows the deal and will be around another few decades unlike Dad whos getting really close to our family's male life expectancy. In the meantime tho, Ive still got one of my best friends in my Dad, and thats all that matters. Id rather have a good conversation with him any day.

 

[Plombob]

Time for the retirement home.

That *****.

 

[tool_scrounge]

Fortunately, some parents do get the importance of tools and materials to make things. Boy do I miss him....